Authors: Amber Bardan
I glanced up.
He watched me from under his lashes. My gaze flicked to the plate I’d served him, and my blood just about solidified in my veins.
Shit
.
I held my breath. My heart came back to life with a vengeance. The fork fell and clattered onto the plate. I knew what I’d done. What I always used to do. Pulled the meringue off for Josh.
Habit
.
I’d done it instinctively. Except I hadn’t done this kind of thing since the day he went. Hadn’t left the bathroom light on for him to use after me. Hadn’t said yes to the one-dollar Mars bar offers at the service station when buying milk. Hadn’t set the TV to record
Top Gear
. Hadn’t gone to his bedroom door at midnight with secrets and marshmallows.
None of it.
I’d stopped cold. As if I’d never done any of those things at all. Yet for some reason, I’d taken the meringue off the pie for him a little over a year later. I moved my plate aside.
“What’s going on, Angelina?”
I looked at Haithem. As always, some deep, dark place inside me rose up to smother sensible thoughts.
I breathed evenly again.
“You haven’t earned a question yet,” the other Angelina, who only emerged around him, said.
He rested his arm on the back of the couch. “Is that what this is?”
I nodded. Who knew I could lie so easily. I guess what they say about the company you keep is true.
“Twice in one day. You’re greedier than I thought.” He made no move toward me.
If anything, he relaxed more. There’d be no kneeling in front of me this time. If I wanted this, I’d have to go to him. I’d have to get up on my feet and walk over to get what I wanted.
Somehow, I did.
Somehow, I got myself off that chair and went and sat next to him. Right under his outstretched arm.
He leaned toward me. “And you said something about me wanting you here to service
my
purposes...”
I smiled. “I guess this is karma then.”
“There’s no such thing as karma,” he whispered, and grabbed my thigh.
His fingers squeezed. He didn’t need to pull my legs wide; I let them fall open. His gaze tracked my body, landing on his hand on my skin.
He ran his fingers from the outside to the inside of my thigh. “Are you wet for me yet?”
Question one.
Heat lanced my cheeks, but I didn’t look away. “Yeah, I am. Have been since you walked in the room.”
His nostrils flared, and he slid his hand higher. “I do love this honesty.” His hand moved up to my panties. He brushed against my crotch. “But what I’d really like to know is how you’d like me to make you come this time.”
I felt like I was breathing some kind of smoke, because I almost choked. My hips rocked into his touch.
I’d happily come any way he let me. “Pass.”
He grinned and pushed my panties to the side. “You know what that means, don’t you?”
“What?”
“That you have to answer my next question no matter what it is.” He touched me. “And it means I’m going to choose how this happens.”
I sucked my lip between my teeth.
“Oh, Angel, you shaved for me.” He swept over me with his knuckles.
My pussy flooded at the ache in his voice.
“Get your ass on that bed. I’m ready for
my
dessert.”
My skin tingled up and down my body, but I got my ass up. Walked it across the room and sat on the bed.
He followed me.
He came after me and all I could do was wait.
“Take off your dress.”
I shivered. My nice dress did a fine job at hiding what I liked hidden, while showing off what I liked to show. But I remembered how I’d looked in the mirror that morning and slid the straps off my shoulders, pushed it down to my waist, then over my hips.
Haithem caught my foot as it came up to remove the dress. He lifted my leg. My back hit the bed. He tugged the dress over my feet and threw it over his shoulder. The look on his face made my hips rise off the mattress. He grabbed them, sliding me higher on the bed and climbing on after me.
My panties didn’t stand a chance. He jerked them down my thighs. I clamped my knees together. Not sure why, but I couldn’t handle him looking at me there. I felt that if he saw, I’d never be able to hide from him again.
He didn’t force my legs apart.
He could’ve. Hell, truth be told, it would have made me hotter.
“If you make me wait for dessert, I’m only going to take my time eating it.”
Shit
.
My pussy throbbed. I opened my legs, felt the lips of my sex open to him. Knowing this was it, I exposed all.
He made a sound like a groan. “Pull those knees up.”
Moisture broke across my lip, and I gripped behind my knees, drawing them higher.
He cupped me with his entire hand and rubbed. “Just warning you, I’m saving my last question for later, because my mouth’s about to be full.” His thumb flicked across my clitoris.
My knees jerked, and pleasure shot through me.
“You good with that?”
I nodded. “Mmm-hmm.”
He leaned between my legs, glancing up at me with a look so savage I forgot to breathe. His mouth closed over me. Sensations ripped into my core. He sucked with his entire mouth. A barrage of sensation, too much to process as good or bad—just a stunning feeling. My fingers clenched my knees, and my head dropped back. He worked my clit with his tongue—not with gentle licks or laps but with deep, aggressive strokes.
Muscles tightened up in my legs, across my stomach and through my shoulders. He released my clit and licked down my pussy. I gasped for air. His tongue pushed inside me.
My thighs jerked.
He withdrew and stroked his way back to my nub, then sucked. I moaned, dropped my knees, hands burying in his hair, hips lifting. A thick finger entered me. My flesh stretched, bursting with stinging pleasure. His tongue pumped my clit. Muscles clenched, everything bracing for an explosion.
The finger inside me thrust. It hurt with the same erotic satisfaction as stepping beneath a too-hot shower. Pleasure layered upon burn. He pressed his mouth harder and shook his head. My fingers stiffened, my body hardened tight enough to shatter—and then I did.
I shattered like a mirror falling against stone. Bursting and scattering into thousands of jagged parts. My hips jerked, but he continued eating me, drawing out every bead of pleasure until nothing remained.
I melted into the mattress. Sweat coated my skin like a blanket. I released his hair, my thighs flopping open. His movements softened. His finger left me, and he licked softly against a place so sensitive each tender touch zapped like the flick of an elastic band. I twitched, lacking the strength to stop him. Without the strength to fight the new wave of desire. He lapped me slowly. Made the tiniest little circles around my nub.
Deep, helpless sounds left my lips. He used his thumbs to spread my pussy wide, to access me completely. My head tossed, and I held on to the bedspread. I grew new bones, formed new muscles, and everything contracted again. My head twisted to the side, and my face pressed against the bed. Waves of ecstasy washed through me, over me, inside me and out. My back arched, and my body bowed. Ripple after ripple of pleasure. On and on and on as if it’d never stop.
I drifted away on the current.
FIFTEEN
H
AITHEM
KISSED
UP
over my stomach, his teeth nipping my breast through my bra before he lay beside me.
He tugged on my hip and rolled me toward him. I pressed my face into his shirt and inhaled. Man, spice and something just sharp enough in his cologne to make breathing him addictive. He touched my back, running his fingers from the bottom of my spine, up under my hair to the base of my neck.
I needed more. More than touching. More than playing.
More than dipping my toe in the ocean.
I tilted back my head and looked at him. His mouth. Hard and soft and irresistible. How long had it been since he’d kissed me?
Forever.
I pulled myself up. My naked stomach dragged over the fabric of his pants.
He watched me from under his sweeping lashes. Eyes so dark I could barely make out his irises. I brought my lips to his. He caught a fistful of my hair, tugging my head back. My hips pushed against him. He leaned in and rubbed his prickly chin against my jaw. My scent clung to him. The scent of my sex. A hum rose in my throat.
His mouth hovered over mine.
The beat of my pulse tapped against my neck.
“You owe me a question...”
The arm underneath my neck stretched then bent at the elbow, lightly squeezing my neck as he raised his hand.
I shivered.
The cabin had cooled while we were busy. He released my hair and passed something to his free hand.
My photo appeared between us.
“Who is this?”
I shut my eyes. My tongue went dry.
The paper ran over my cheek, a gentle scrape that made all my hair stand on end.
“A deal is a deal, Angelina.”
My eyes opened. “My brother.”
I gave him three long seconds of a look that could kill, then rolled away from him and scrambled for the dress he’d thrown on the floor.
“That’s not a proper answer. I asked who this is, not what he is.”
He spoke to my back.
I pulled the dress on, tugged it over my boobs and my hips with numb fingers.
“Josh, my twin brother, Josh.”
The words escaped, and yet my tongue didn’t fall out. I didn’t catch fire. Didn’t spontaneously combust.
My lips went numb as my fingers.
For a year, I’d kept that name in, sure that if I’d said it out loud I’d die, too.
I didn’t die.
But I might throw up.
Cool air gusted into the cabin.
“Where is Josh?” Haithem spoke behind me. He’d followed me off the bed.
He knew, the bloody bastard. He knew for sure. That’s why he asked me like this. If I could kill him, I would.
I straightened on jelly legs. “You only had one question left.”
“Except you came twice. So I could demand another three.”
I yanked the zip up and faced him. “I didn’t ask to come twice.”
He sighed. “Fair enough.”
Fair? He said that without choking?
He glanced at the open doors then went and closed them. “Weather’s turning.”
The boat dipped.
My stomach roiled. I stumbled to a chair and sat, wrapping my arms around my middle.
Why didn’t he push?
He was a pusher, but he’d dropped it. Cut me a break. I’d rather he didn’t. Rather he gave me a little consistency, a little something more to hate him with.
“Did you check my emails?”
Haithem lowered himself onto the couch. “Not yet.” He reached for the plate with the meringue then picked up a fork.
“Why?” I scooted to the edge of the seat, watching him eat the sugary pie top.
He took a bite, shrugged and swallowed. “I forgot.”
“Bullshit.”
He looked at me, finishing the meringue in a few large scoops.
“You don’t forget.”
He put the plate down and licked his lips. “You know me so well, do you?”
“I know you don’t forget.”
“That I don’t.” He smiled and sucked the side of his thumb. “Fine, I didn’t forget.”
I leaned in and rested my hands on the coffee table. My fingers bumped the knife. “Did my parents reply to the message you sent?”
“No.”
“Liar.” The word became a growl grazing my throat. “They’d have replied immediately. My dad has freaking email on his phone.” My chest tightened; everything in my upper body did. “Tell me.”
Haithem said nothing.
“Tell me.” I slammed my fist on the table. The plates clattered. “Tell me.” My voice echoed around the cabin.
Nice girls don’t raise their voice, Angelina.
“
Has it occurred to you that maybe everything I’m doing is to protect you?” His growl was deeper than mine—and so raw that it almost fooled me into believing him.
He took my hand. I tugged, but he gripped tighter. He turned my hand. A bright drop of blood trickled down my wrist.
I gasped. Never could stand the sight of blood. It was tied up with illness, hospitals and, inevitably, death. He picked up a napkin and placed it over the side of my palm.
I stared at my hand, the white napkin sucking up my blood. He removed the napkin and examined my cut.
“Breathe, Angelina. It’s only a nick.”
Don’t be a wuss, Angelina.
I snatched my palm away. “Show me the email.”
“I deleted it.”
“What?” I clutched my injured fist to my chest. My hand didn’t hurt. I hadn’t even felt the nick. But my chest did—my chest hurt as though he’d taken the knife to it.
“That’s not right. You had no right to do that.” I rubbed the place above my breasts with my fist but couldn’t wipe out the ache. “No right at all.”
My voice caught.
Oh shit, I was going to cry. I sucked it up—literally. Sucked in a breath and pulled back those tears. Pushed them down. I’d had a lot of practice. It was practically a part of my skill set.
“No right?”
The yacht rocked again. I clutched the arms of the chair, not taking my eyes off him as he rolled himself forward, unaffected by the movement.
“Look around. This is my yacht.” He held out his hands, palms up. “And I’ll let you in on a secret.”
He didn’t sound as if he was revealing a secret. His voice was clear and crisp.
“We just left Australian waters.” He leaned back with a smile that cracked across his face like a clap of thunder. “Right now, this is my ocean, my world, my rules.”
The world swayed under my chair.
“So stop worrying about what you think is right. Stop worrying about what rights you think you have. They mean nothing here.”
Bile rose in my throat. Damn yacht.
Damn Haithem
.
“The only thing you need to believe in now is me. Show me you can be trusted, and just maybe you’ll earn some rights back.”
I doubled over. The contents of my stomach rose into my esophagus.
I’d gotten lost in the game. Orgasms and questions. Pleasure and answers. Freedom and restraint. A game I’d fooled myself into believing I had a chance at winning.
How could I have been so stupid?
I might be queen in a game of chess, but Haithem wasn’t the king. I couldn’t sneak up and take him. He wasn’t even on the board. He was standing somewhere above, moving the pieces.
He was the player.
I gagged. Nothing came up. The room tipped sideways. I fell off the chair onto the carpet.
My head rushed.
I needed to get out. Get off.
Escape.
Haithem took me by the arm and led me to the bed. I fell back against the cushions. He handed me the lid from the tray, turned upside down. I leaned over the tray cover, taking slow breaths. He knelt beside the bed and rummaged through the cupboard of the bedside table, pulling out half the crap I’d shoved in there.
He stood and tore something out of a piece of foil. “Here.”
I eyed the small white circle in his palm.
“It’s medication. It’ll help with the seasickness.”
If it weren’t for the fact that I was about to go exorcist all over the cabin, I’d have told him where to insert his “medication.” Instead, I snatched the pill from his palm.
“It’s a wafer. Just dissolve it on your tongue.”
I placed the wafer in my mouth. It melted in a little puddle of bitterness.
Haithem turned back to the mess on the floor, putting things back into the cupboard. He paused at the large bag, opening it and glancing inside.
I groaned. Fantastic. Why’d I shove
that
bag there?
He stared in the bag with the vibrator and accessories then finally glanced up at me. Just for a moment, his expression made me forget that I hated him all over again. Made me remember what we’d been doing moments earlier.
He closed the cupboard.
“I need to get off this yacht.” I blinked, my eyes clouding with moisture. “Please put me ashore somewhere. Just leave me anywhere.”
He sat next to my hip. “I can’t do that.”
“You mean you won’t.”
“Fine, I won’t.” He didn’t say it in a mean voice as he had before; if anything, he spoke sweetly. “You think I’m a bastard—I am. I have to be.”
The cabin tilted. Haithem rested a hand on my waist and one on the bedside table, holding us both in place.
I pulled the lid of the tray closer.
Goddammit
.
“I didn’t say those things for kicks. They’re the truth. Don’t expect me to do the right things, and don’t expect me to play by rules I don’t believe in.” He released my waist.
I breathed deeply, trying to still the rise of my stomach.
“You’ll only be disappointed, and we won’t get along.”
My stomach clenched. I retched. Nothing came up but spit. Tears spilled out my eyes. My stomach wrenched again.
Haithem climbed off the bed and went to the fridge, returning with a green apple.
“Try this.”
“I don’t want a fucking apple.”
“They help.” He took a bite then held it in front of me. The sweet scent hit my nose. “They really do. It’s an old sea trick.”
I took the apple and crunched through the skin on the opposite side to the one he’d bitten. It didn’t make me hurl. I took another bite then rolled onto my back.
I finished the apple slowly and—curse him—my stomach settled back into its regular place.
He took the lid from the tray and the apple core from my hand, setting them aside. “Better?”
I turned my head toward him. “I need to get off this yacht.” My chest hitched. “Please, it’s making me sick. I’m going crazy. I need to put my feet on the ground.”
He scanned my face then brushed my hair over my shoulder. “All right, tomorrow we’ll get off the yacht. You can put your feet on solid ground.”
“Really?”
I didn’t believe him. How could I? Why would he turn around so quickly?
“Yes, tomorrow we’ll go to land.”
He stroked the hair out of my eyes. My stupid, leaking eyes. How could he do that? Good then bad, then back again. I was spinning. Didn’t know which way was up or down anymore.
He must’ve had special mind-fuck training.
“Why did you delete the email?”
He traced my jaw with his fingertip. “Let it go. I don’t want to do this, but I will.”
“I can’t.”
His gaze dropped from mine to his hand on my skin. “It wasn’t a nice email. Leave it at that.”
My chest compressed. Not a nice email? It didn’t surprise me. If Haithem had really written what he’d claimed he had, they’d be furious.
Absolutely, deathly mad.
“What did they say? I want to know.”
“I’d rather not tell.”
Oh god.
That bad. I dragged myself up to sitting position. If I didn’t, I’d be crushed under the weight of my own anxiety. “I’d rather you didn’t delete my emails.”
His expression hardened.
“Please tell me.” I dropped the attitude. Went for sad and pleading again. Not my favorite style. Yet Haithem didn’t seem to realize he had a way of softening when I did it. I didn’t want to think about why, but we’d done this enough now for me to figure out that sad eyes counted for something.
To an extent.
Enough for a little leverage. Not much, but a little.
“They’re angry with you. Your mother replied.” He looked across the cabin. “She said you’d worried them but she also criticized your behavior. She called you cheap, said she was disgusted you’d run off with a man.”
I nodded. Tears trickled down my cheeks. Yep, sounded right. Worried but disapproving. Loving but concerned. Uninterested but controlling. I was only surprised she hadn’t come right out and called me a slut. What with the way she’d taken to religion since Josh.
“What about Dad? Did Dad have anything to say?”
“He asked you to think about your mother and come home.”
I wiped my face with my palm. “They’ll expect another response.”
“Already done.”
My shoulders dropped. “Again?”
“Yes, I apologized. Said you were sorry to upset them but you needed to do your own thing for a while, and suggested they take the next few weeks to get used to it.”
“You actually said that?”
I rubbed my arm. How strange he’d used those words. Words I’d thought but would never say. Words with enough truth no one would deny them.
Haithem handed me a handkerchief.
I wiped my face and let his words run through my mind. He could’ve said worse things. Now, at least, they’d spend the next couple of weeks thinking I’d lost my mind and grown some balls.
It’d be a bitch when I got home, but I could deal with that.
“You could, you know...” he said.
“Could what?”
“You could take this time to let them get used to it. Do your own thing.”
I handed him back his handkerchief. “And you’d just slide right off the hook, right?”
“I’d call that win-win.”
I relaxed back into the pillows. Somehow, I imagined Haithem and I had different ideas about what it meant to win.