Didn't You Promise (A Bad for You Novel) (20 page)

“I did what I had to do to protect you.”

He touches my back but I roll away, slipping out of bed to stand naked and panting and exposed.

“You didn’t protect me—you hurt me worse than I’ve ever been hurt.”

I shake my head and turn away from him, searching for something on the floor to cover my trembling body. His footsteps land behind me.

I pull my discarded dress over my head. He tugs at my shoulders, but I jerk my dress down and stare at the curtains. I’ve done nothing but yearn for him. Yearn deeply and painfully and on every level to see him one last time. I shut my eyes. Now looking at him seems terrifying.

“Tell me what to do?” He wraps his arms around me.

I can’t respond. Joy and devastation share every inch of my body’s emotional real estate. No matter what he’s done, I’ve prayed and wished and bargained with the universe to give him back—and now it has. I swore I’d give anything for this moment. I would, I will. I’d give a million broken hearts and all the pain lashing me for this one moment of him holding me in the flesh.

“Tell me what I have to do to make this right?”

But this isn’t right.

I turn in his grasp, grab onto his shoulders and look into his face. “Would you do it again?”

His features strain, his jaw pulses. He can’t lie now—not without me witnessing.

“Knowing how deeply you’ve hurt me would you do it all again if you believed it would save me?”

His eyes shut, black lashes fan the top of his cheeks, and for a split second he isn’t the merciless prism of strength I know—he’s a decade older than I am but still so young.

“To save you I would.”

My heart breaks, right in my chest it splits open. Breaks so hard I think I might actually end up dead. Doesn’t he realize? Can’t he see I’d have died for him—that I still would. Doesn’t he understand we can’t just
survive
we need to live?

I breathe in, then breathe out. It’s not easier. I do it again.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Pull my pain into something malleable, something I can hold onto long enough to speak. There’s something I have to say to this man who is the beating heart of me—the man I’d have sold my soul to kiss one more time.

“If you’re not sorry, then I’m lost...” My breath burns up my lungs. “I’m completely lost on how to forgive this.”

His features contort with a twist of emotions that won’t be contained—not even by him. His brows sag over his eyes, his mouth pinches.

Then his lips even and he stands taller. “I will make this up to you.” He reaches for me, sliding his hand to the back of my scalp. “Just tell me what to do?”

I step back. His fingers slide from my scalp. “Prove I can trust you.”

“You can trust me.” He comes after me, not letting me slink away. “You can trust me to give whatever you need.”

I let him catch me without pulling away.

“Prove it.”

He grasps my sides in a grip it’s clear he never intends on releasing. “I’ll do anything.” His eyes wrinkle with earnestness. I know he
wants
to. I just pray that he
can
.

“Accept that the only things I need from you are honesty and respect.”

He draws me into him. “I do respect you.” He rests his forehead on mine. “I swear that I do.”

His breaths rush against my eyelashes, and my lids want to sink, and my entire body wants to sag against him.

“I’m in this with you,” I whisper. “I chose to risk my life.” I touch him, finally, as I’ve been dying to, and grab onto his thick biceps. “So respect me enough to give me the truths that aren’t safe. The ones you’re worried I won’t like.”

His arm snakes around to the small of my back. He holds me even closer, but his body shakes with hesitation.

“Respect me enough to trust me to take care of myself.” I lean back a fraction, and take a breath. “No making decisions on your own to protect me. No more secrets. No more lies.”

His eyes shut, his jaw tightens. “This is what you need?”

“Yes.” I squeeze his arms with all my strength, and hope with everything in me he really understands.

“Then I swear it.” He opens his eyes again. “I swear I’ll give you only the truth.”

His gaze and every ounce off his sincerity, fixes on me. My eyes blur, and I do sag. He holds me to him.

I bury my face in his chest, and press myself as tight as I can against his immense warmth. “This still hurts so badly.”

He gives a small pained exhalation. “For that I will never stop being sorry.” He rests his cheek on top of my head. “Because I love you so much, Angelina.”

“I love you so much, too.” I can’t keep my tears inside. “And my joy at having you back is so overwhelming I can hardly bear it.”

He rubs my back. I close my eyes, and soak up the feeling. The numb frozen place I’ve carried inside me, cracks open. I’d never appreciated before just how powerful an embrace can be.

A beep cuts through our moment.

My stupid alarm.

I grip him tighter. Today is my turn to cover the Saturday front-desk shift. “I’m going to call in sick.”

“You can’t,” he whispers and releases me. “You have to get ready and go.”

“Are you crazy? How can I possibly think about work right now?” I swipe my face. “We’ve hardly talked. I just got you back, I’m not going anywhere.”

“Angel.” He hesitates, and I see that vow he just made me flicker into effect. “I shouldn’t be here. I’m supposed to be in hiding in a safe house.”

My chest pangs. Yet again, he’s risked himself for me.

“I must stay away, and you must go about your business just as before. Don’t do anything to draw attention. Don’t change your plans. Don’t cancel things. Don’t call in sick.” He brushes a lock of hair stuck to my wet check aside. “Understand? There’s just a few weeks to go, and when this is all done I swear you will have so much of me, you’ll be ordering me away.”

I turn my face into his palm and kiss the center. “Never.” I close my eyes and sigh. “Okay, I’ll go to work.”

I glance around, thoughts scattering at the simple idea of getting myself work presentable. He watches me change without interfering. His gaze is on me the entire time, and it makes me want my clothes coming off instead of on.

“Will you call me?” I ask at the front door.

His sad eyes answer, and he kisses me gently. “Not safe.”

I swallow the arguments in my throat, and remind myself this is only a few short weeks. I leave him in my apartment, and go to work as usual.

Regular life never felt so cruel.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

July

“That move just cost your queen.” Mr. Brand, indeed, takes my queen. He glances more at me than the board. He probably thinks I’m throwing the game.

The unfortunate thing is, I’ve actually been trying to win.

Who knew so much could change in two weeks? News broadcasts, specials and investigations have almost entirely taken over regular programming. The hype doesn’t seem to be winding down.

“
Hopeful shoppers camping outside stores for days to no avail
—”

The television blares through the lounge. At home I’ve kept mine off. The entire world seems to be obsessed with only one piece of news. There’s no listening to a radio, walking past a newspaper rack, or using internet without being bombarded.

All anyone seems to talk about is how to get their hands on one of those “magic batteries.”

I study the board, no longer able to distinguish one piece from another let alone recall how one might be moved.

“
The government issued a timely reminder to consumers to check credentials of all electricians as demand for services skyrocket and unscrupulous individuals seek to exploit
—”

I slide a white pawn across the board.

Mr. Brand glances up from above steepled fingers, then moves his black knight. “Checkmate.”

I’m done.

Literally, this elderly gentleman just slaughtered me in five minutes flat.

I sigh. “Beat me again.”

He resets the board as always. “Usually you don’t make it so easy.”

“Well—”

“
The elusive creator of the revolutionary Guardian Energy Cell
,
has finally been revealed as Haithem Soltan
,
the man behind one of the world’s most successful technology companies
,
renowned for innovation
—”

I forget what I’m saying, and rush to the television. A frown pinches into my mouth. He revealed his identity?

Or did they find it out?

I try to keep the panic at bay. We’ve been careful. We haven’t spoken once. He’s been in hiding, our only contact the mysterious croissants delivered to me every morning. How’d the media find him? His face appears on screen again, this time in video. Haithem walking into a building, waving at the camera crew but not stopping for questions. He’s dressed for business, a briefcase in his hand, Emilio and another guard flanking his sides.

He’s out in the open.

For anyone to see, or kill. I place a hand over my stomach, try to hold down the tuna sandwich I ate at my desk earlier.

He didn’t tell me he was doing this.

Once again I’m in the dark. I pinch the bridge of my nose. Mr. Brand strides up beside me, leaning on his walking stick, and studies the screen. A shout sounds from across the lounge.

Shit
.

Another resident, Mr. Collins, stands over a female resident. “Where’d they take Sally?”

My chest gets tight. Poor Mr. Collins. His wife died three months ago, and his dementia took a turn for the worse—he can’t remember she’s gone half the time.

Soon he’ll have to move into the high-care facility that’s not nearly as nice as this one.

I start towards them.

Mr. Brand grasps my arm. “Wait for Jenny.”

“Where is she?” Mr. Collins shouts.

I pat Mr. Brand’s hand and jog over.

“Mr. Collins.” I plaster on a smile. “Why don’t we take a walk and see if we can find her?” My heart breaks saying such an awful lie. But I keep on the reassuring smile, because by the time we get to the dining room, and Jenny gives him a tea, he’ll have forgotten this entire conversation.

“You—” He points at me. “You’re in on it.”

Dammit
. This is the worst episode I’ve seen from him. I glance down the hall for one of the nurses who are better trained for this.

“You’re all in on it.”

I turn back to Mr. Collins—and a walking frame slams into me. I hit the ground winded. Pain bursts through my belly where the leg jabbed me.

I roll to my side, then stop dead.

Mr. Brand disarms Mr. Collins, then manipulates the larger man smoothly into a seat.

I stare at Mr. Brand—heart somersaulting violently.

He doesn’t have his walking stick. He turns. Dread prickles over my every nerve. He didn’t have his walking stick when he
ran
over here either.

I rise slowly. My mind floods with everything Haithem warned me about. Stories of how people were inserted into his life. The date who’d tried to slit his throat.

The sweet, elderly man I’ve developed a soft spot for approaches. Except there’s nothing frail about him. Was he sent here to watch me?

To use me to get to Haithem?

We’ve been discovered. I grab onto my wrist and hold down the button on my watch—exactly as I swore I would if it came to this.

Mr. Brand glances at my wrist. My breath catches, does he know about this too? I turn and run for the offices, swiping my pass and slamming the heavy security door closed behind me. I stare at the door. It doesn’t bang or rattle.

He doesn’t come after me.

It’s no longer safe here.

I shovel personal items from my desk into my handbag.

“What are you doing?”

I look up at Selina. “I have to go.” Actually I have to wait, but knowing Haithem he has someone within shouting distance of this place. I’ll be evacuated any moment.

“Is everything alright?” She comes closer.

“No.” I shut my bag. “I’m so sorry to let you down.” My nose burns with emotion and my middle still aches from where I was hit. “You’ve been wonderful to me.”

I’ll really miss this place, and this job, and the people in it.
Dammit
. It isn’t only this job I’m about to lose. Going back into hiding will mean I’ll miss out on everything else I’ve been planning. At least this time I’ll let my family and Emma know I have to go away, no matter what excuse I come up with to explain it.

“Tell me what’s going on, Angelina.” She rounds my desk. “Maybe I can help?”

“I can’t—”

The security door thuds. I jerk around. Karim walks in.

Oh
,
thank god.

I tug my handbag over my shoulder.

“Mr. Nassar, whatever can I do for you?”

I glance between Karim and Selina. “You know him?”

Selina blinks, and looks at me. “You know Mr. Nassar, our new owner?”

The frantic racing of my heart, bottoms out, and becomes a hard pound. “Unfortunately.”

Karim mouth sets. I’m beyond caring. Not beyond using my new moves on him though.

Un-fucking-believable.

“Selina, I’m going to have to borrow your office.” I storm to her office, yank open the door and wait for Karim to follow me in.

I shut the door after him. “He purchased my workplace?”

“Angelina—”

“Shut up.” I pace. What the hell happened to honesty? I try to focus. “I’ll deal with the two of you liars later, right now I have to tell you we’ve been discovered.”

Karim’s expression morphs free from its usual impassiveness. “How?”

“There’s a resident here who isn’t who he says he is.” I rub my sternum still pacing. “I’m certain he was put here to watch me.”

His shoulders lower, and the lines melt from his forehead. “There’s nothing to fear from him. He’s one of ours.”

I stop, and drop down onto the edge of Selina’s desk. Really, it should be relief I sag with but it’s not. The love of my life who swore he’d never lie to me again, actually never stopped. I clutch my hands in front of me. “So he not only took control of my job, he hired someone to spy on me, gain my trust and garner my affection?” I glance up.

“I don’t believe that last part was included in the brief.”

It takes a moment to get a handle on the devastation and continue speaking. “I need to see him.”

“Not possible. We’re only in the first stage of—”

I look up from my shaking fingers. “Get me Haithem, or get me to him.”

“In another week—”

“Now—today.” I lunge off the desk. “Or I swear, Karim, I’ll track him down myself.” I walk up to him. “I’ll tear this city apart. I’ll do whatever it takes. Do you want that?”

Karim’s mouth snaps tight. “Fine.”

I adjust the bag on my shoulder. “Good.”

“It’ll be a bakery van collecting you in an hour.” He straightens. “Just because you’re being impertinent doesn’t mean we can forgo discretion.”

I roll my eyes. These damn obnoxious men.

“I’ll be ready.”

Haithem

The glare she wields is pure bloody murder. I’d be slaughtered by it, if Karim hadn’t given me the head’s up.

I let her come to me, even as my fingers itch to grab her. These two weeks have been worse than all the ones before them. Stepping back when I’d only just reclaimed her, took everything I had.

“Angel.”

Her mouth is a flat line. “We need to talk.”

“Then let’s talk.” I extended a hand, instead of grabbing her up the way I’d prefer.

She stops beside me at the windows but does not take my hand. “This is an interesting choice of safe house.” She glances at the view. Windows wrap all the way around this presidential suite. “Really, inconspicuous.” She sets her glittering gaze back on me. “Tell me, do you get snuck in the back entrance through catering and come up the employee elevator, too?”

I’ve sworn no lies, so we must both get used to her being disappointed with me. “I enter via the front.”

“So what is it, are you in hiding or aren’t you?” Her lips twist. “Why do I have to find out things from TV instead of from you? Are you ‘out’ now, and if you are then why am I the one you’re still hiding from? Why haven’t I been here with you?”

I take her by her notched little chin. “You don’t kiss me hello?”

Her expression slackens almost instantly. “I’m upset with you.”

“You intend not to kiss me hello when you’re upset with me?” I brush her bottom lip with my thumb. It’s so full and I plan to bite it in just a moment. I tug her closer by the chin, until she’s up against me, until she has to actually meet my gaze directly.

Until she sees this is one rule I have that won’t be broken.

She won’t storm in and confront me without a proper greeting. We won’t go into a fight without a reminder she loves me.

She blinks, and her tongue slips between her lips almost brushing my thumb. “Hello, Haithem.”

“Hello, Angel.” I smile, but make her come get it since she held out on me.

She leans up on her toes and plants her soft lips on my mouth. Her sweet breath fills my lungs and floods need into my bloodstream. I see every thought in her eyes—and don’t let her pull away until I’ve been properly kissed. I drive my tongue between her teeth and kiss her until her jaw loosens and her tongue ventures to mine.

Her body melts against me. Her muscles loosen even as mine turn hard and lusty. I break the kiss, nipping that irresistible bottom lip of hers before I’m done.

She sways back on her feet. “You’re so very cunning.” Her eyes still sparkle but now it’s not with fury. Her chin is still drawn up but now it quivers between my fingers. “I need answers.”

She knows exactly what I’ve done—she let me disarm her.

“No, I’m not ‘out’.” I release her chin. “It was time to show my enemies I’m alive and this is happening. Soon enough our product will be fully rolled out and killing me won’t make one scrap of difference.” I scan her gaze. “But you could still stop me. You are the leverage that could have me recall the trucks and send away containers arriving at the docks.”

She blinks repeatedly, and drops my gaze.

“That’s why I haven’t kept you here spread out on my bed, when it’s all I’ve thought about.” My voice drops low, lust oozing into my words. It is all I’ve thought about. Not just her on my big empty bed, but her.

She glances up, and her mouth pulls to the side, thinking, considering.

“That’s why I haven’t been able to speak to you. Why I didn’t tell you all my plans.” I take her cheeks. “I needed you to trust me and have some faith that what I’m doing is for us.”

“I believe you.” She swallows. “I believe what you’re doing now is for us.” Then she gently pries herself from my hands, and inches back. “But you forget that as well as you know me—well enough to pacify me so expertly—I also know you.”

Something in the broken way she says that sends a fist of dread into my ribs.

“I know the lengths you’ll go to in order to get your own way.”

I frown—my way is typically the correct one. I don’t act without reason.

“I know now that the day Karim came to my apartment with that pompous job offer, and all associated perks—” she shakes her head as if wanting to deny what she says next “—that when I refused him, I was actually refusing
you
.” Her nose scrunches, and her teeth flash. “Because you weren’t dead like I thought you were. You were sitting wherever you were spying on me with this grand plan of how you were going to ‘take care’ of me and when I
dared
refuse, you couldn’t take it.” Her fury snakes out of her expression to strike my jugular. “So you took matters into your own hands—yet again. You took my workplace. Arranged it sneakily, giving everyone pay increases not just me, so I’d never guess. You planted a spy to watch me and report back to you—ensuring that my life went according to the expectations you had for it.”

Her finger is aimed at me, and her expression seizes with such betrayal, it’s like my throat is actually torn open—because it’s true. I’ve done the things she’s accused me of.

How do I explain it’s not as it sounds? There was more to it than my pride. While she attempted to move on from me—all I had was protecting her.

“I wanted to help you.” I can’t get closer to her while she still has that accusatory finger between us. How do I explain that all I could do was
obsess
. About her. For her. Of her. Yearn to make up for all the pain by giving her things she couldn’t know were from me.

Her hands drop to her sides. “Then why, when you swore no more lies, didn’t you come clean and tell me everything you’ve done?”