Different Senses (61 page)

I called Shardul’s aunt as soon
as Dad hung up. “I’m sorry for what your people experienced
yesterday, Roshni-ji.”

“
We all are, Javen. Our
community is in shock. But also very angry with
your
people,
particularly the police.”

Unusually blunt for her, but
she sounded stressed. I doubted she’d had much sleep last night. “I
don’t blame any of you for feeling that way. I have a message from
my father.”

She listened in silence as I
passed it on. “He’s sincere, I promise.”

“I believe you. I will speak
with the elders about this invitation.”

“Roshni-ji...did Shardul make
it out safely?”

“Yes, he did. He’s here now,
unharmed. Thankfully, we had no serious injuries, and no deaths,
though only by luck.”

“Uh...my father said some of
your youths went ready for a fight.”

“I believe so. But considering
our history with your people, I’m surprised it was not more, and
worse. Nothing would have happened if not for those men.”

“Agreed. But now you know
what’s likely to happen at other rallies. The Kelon reactionaries
have an interest in making the Nihan look unreasonable and
dangerous. You must tell your people not to fall into that
trap.”

She gave a little laugh. “My
nephew has just finished saying that in those very words. We know
the risks. Our mistake was in not anticipating the blatant nature
of the attack, or the level of police complicity. Next time, we
won’t be taken by surprise.”

“The police were too, I think.
It wasn’t an intelligent reaction, but I can kind of see how it
made sense at the time.”

“It did not inspire trust,
Javen.”

“No, it didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“So am I. When this is past, I
hope you will visit. It’s been a very long time since I saw
you.”

Six
months
, I thought. “I’ll visit, I
promise. Will the strike continue?”

“That is what we’re discussing.
Forgive me, but I should....”

“Understood. Good luck,
Roshni-ji.”

And that was probably as
much as I could do in this situation. My uselessness chafed. I
might have even pestered the police reserve office about an active
role, if it weren’t for the way the police had dealt with the
demonstration. Anti-
banis
sentiment was likely
running high within the force right now, and I no longer had the
stomach or the patience to stay silent in the face of that kind of
thing

So with Roshni-ji making it
clear that my presence wasn’t wanted during this crisis, my
employees holed up safe in their own homes or those of friends, the
police continuing to not request my assistance, and my father
conducting affairs of the state without my help, I had to do like
most adult Kelons in the city and get on with my own work, ignoring
the racial hostility that was so thick in this city you could
almost see it and yet invisible to anyone ready to ignore it.

The twins yelled with delight
when I picked them up from school, though Madhu wanted to know why
I wasn’t at work. “Surprise holiday,” I said. “And that’s why we’re
all going to the big park after you guys change and I pick up your
mum and Nita.”

“Yay!”

Tara had prepared a picnic and
I took them all to the river park so they could eat and work off
excess energy, while I and their mother sat in the sunshine and
played with Nita. But even here, the events of the day before could
not be ignored. Not a single Nihan walked their children along the
path, or played in the clearing, and there were fewer Kelons around
too.

“It’s hard to believe such
appalling things happened so close,” Tara said. “Who fires a gun
into a crowd?”

“Someone trying to cause panic.
People could have been killed. I don’t believe it was any
indigenous person doing it. It would have been their own who’d
suffer.”

“I think you’re right. Whoever
that Kelon Pride group is, they could have said their piece another
way. Javen, is this just the start of something worse, do you
think? Because I don’t want to bring my children up in the middle
of a civil war.”

I looked at the twins, racing
each other on the grass, carefree, happy. Privileged by a life
cushioned by status and wealth. “I don’t think it will go that far.
It hasn’t yet, and the Nihan have had grievances for a long time. A
lot depends on Dad.”

“He’s made them think they can
get what they want now. So in some ways it’s harder for him.”

A familiar odour made it clear
that Nita needed changing. Tara began the elaborate ritual that
went with a baby’s dirty bottom while I watched, and considered
Tara’s words, which held a lot of truth.

“You think he shouldn’t have
made any concessions to them?”

She kept on cleaning. “No, of
course not. A lot needs to be changed, and I don’t want other
people’s kids growing up unhealthy or poor any more than I want my
own. But I know some Kelons wish he’d never given them
anything.”

“Jealous of people who have
almost nothing. It’s stupid.”

She gave me a look as she
gently wiped Nita’s nether regions with a cloth. “It’s human
nature.”

“Not all humans.”

“No, but more than you’d like
to believe. Do you still have to work tonight?”

“Yeah.” I had to do some
surveillance on a guy suspected of defrauding our insurance client.
They’d passed on a tip-off that the supposedly heavily disabled
customer was doing a little night work, and I needed to capture it
on video so they could confront him. Boring stuff but it paid the
bills. I’d have normally assigned something this simple to Vik or
Prachi, but that wasn’t possible this week.

“Want me to save you some
supper?”

“That’d be great, but you don’t
have to.”

“Javen, I’m cooking already and
you know we love feeding you.”

I leaned over and kissed her
cheek. “Then I better earn my supper by taking the twins for a nice
long walk so they want to go to bed early.”

“Oooh, yes please. Where do
they get so much energy? I’m sure it’s not normal.”

“Must be your genes. We’re all
lazy bastards on our side.”

Wherever the genes had come
from, the boys had plenty of charge in their batteries, and wore me
down as much as themselves before Yashi joined us to spend a little
time playing in the dying sunshine, and collecting his family to go
home for supper. “Be careful out there tonight?” he said as we
prepared to head off in our different directions.

“I can guarantee you there is
absolutely no risk in sitting in my auto waiting for a middle-aged
fraudster to finish his electrical moonlighting, unless I die of
boredom.”

He laughed. “Point taken. Have
supper with us properly tomorrow?”

“It’s a date. See you later,
guys.”

“Bye, uncle Javen!” the twins
chorused, and Nita gurgled as if joining in. I waved at the kids
until their auto disappeared around the corner. I’d never have
children of my own, most likely, but so long as I could be around
these three, I’d never miss them.

My fraudulent gentleman turned
up at his employer’s house at six, and drove off to handle the
under-the-table job on which his employer paid no tax, and his
insurer had been told he was unable to handle because of his
disability. He even helpfully attended to some of the circuitry
outside the house where he was working, to give me a nice, clear
shot of him climbing a ladder and standing with complete assurance
on the roof. So much for his balance problems, not to mention his
weak back and leg.

I finished the surveillance by
nine, and swung by the office to prepare the report. I sent it all
off to our client along with a preliminary account, and by ten, I
pulled up into Yashi’s garage. A good night’s work, all in all.

I thanked Tara in my head again
as I reheated and ate the casserole serving she’d left for me. I
did more cooking now I had my own little apartment, but I’d never
be as good as she was at it. Tonight, I was very glad not to have
to take time to prepare a meal. A bad night’s sleep, a long day and
sitting attentively for hours had left me knackered.

But before I went to my own
place, I wanted to see my niece again. I loved to watch her sleep.
All the kids, really, but only Nita slept with a nightlight. I
crept into my old room, now redecorated in soft creams and greens
for her, and gazed down at the cot. She had been born on a day of
great excitement and great personal sorrow for me, and after high
drama that could have ended not with a healthy baby and a tired,
happy mother, but a grieving father and brothers coping with their
loss. I’d never take her existence for granted.

In her sleep, she suckled a
little at an imaginary nipple, and squirmed, waving tiny fists. I
held my breath, wondering if she’d wake, but she settled, dreaming
the wordless, innocent dreams of infancy. I couldn’t wait until she
was old enough to talk, but I treasured being with her like this
too.

“’Night, sweetheart,” I
whispered, standing at the door.

I had my foot on the landing,
ready to head back down the stairs, when I heard glass smashing.
The power went out a second later. More glass breaking. I looked
down the stairwell and saw the telltale red and yellow flicker of
flames just as the house’s fire alarm went off. I pulled out my
pocket torch, ran back to the nursery, and scooped Nita up, before
bolting into the boys’ room. Both had woken but were still in bed.
“Uncle Javen?”

“Come with me, boys. Slippers.
Quick.”

I ushered them out into the
hall, where smoke already rose. Yashi and Tara appeared, Tara also
carrying a torch. “Out the back,” Yashi said. “Onto the deck and
down the ladder.”

I passed Nita to Tara and took
Harshul’s hand as I followed Tara out through their bedroom and
onto the new deck. I thought Yashi and Madhu were behind me, but
then I heard, “Zimzim!” and “Madhu, stop!”

I turned. Yashi had
disappeared back out into the smoky hall. I couldn’t see Madhu at
all.
Fuck
.

“Javen, we have to get
out!”

Tara’s eyes met
mine.
Husband and son, or
daughter and son?
“Let me get you all
down, and I’ll go after him. Hurry.”

Outside on the deck, two
battery-powered emergency lights let us see the path down the fire
ladder past the windows of my little flat, and out into the garden.
“Mummy, where’s Daddy?” Harshul said as I pushed him over to
her.

“Uncle Javen is going to look.
Come with me.”

“Go up the back, wake the
neighbours. Let me have that torch, it’s brighter.”

Flames glowed and spat
from the windows of the lower storey of the house on both sides.
Sirens blared in the near distance, and the neighbours’ lights were
on. Tara would be okay.
I
had to get my brother and
nephew. Madhu’s pet
gulen
lived in a cage in the
living room. Madhu would have run there and Yashi gone there after
him.

I grabbed the garden hose and
raced down the side of the house, looking through the broken
windows, trying to spot a man and boy in the shifting flames and
smoke. I swung the hose up, sending a spray of water ahead of me
through the living room window. Not much against the fire’s brutal
heat but it was all I had. “Yashi! Madhu!”

I couldn't hear a damn thing
with the flames and the water. I kept yelling as I used a garden
chair to smash the rest of the window in. Could they have made it
here? Could they be alive if they had? “Yashi!”

“Uncle Javen?”

I ducked down below the smoke
and crawled towards that faint frightened voice. “Madhu! Where are
you?”

“Over here! Daddy won’t wake
up.”

Behind the sofa. Madhu under
Yashi. Yashi was...burned, not moving, and not conscious. “Hold
on.” I pulled my handkerchief from my pocket. “Slide out,
Madhu.”

“Daddy!”

“I’ll get him too.” The smoke
was getting worse. Had to get them out. I slapped the handkerchief
over Madhu’s face and tied it as best I could. “Hold that there.
We’re going to crawl out, okay?” The smoke made my lungs burn and I
could barely speak for coughing. Had to get out of here. All of
us.

“But Daddy?”

“I’ll come back for him.”

The flames blocked the way out.
Kitchen? No, downstairs bathroom. I clutched Madhu to me and
crawled, trying not to breathe, the wavering torchlight barely
doing more but making the smoke easier to see.

The bathroom was safe, and once
I slammed the door behind me, we could breathe. Sort of. “We have
to get Daddy,” Madhu insisted, tugging on my sleeve.

“Soon. Let me get you out
first.” I bashed on the small window, trying to break it. I could
hear voices. “Help! We're in here! Help us out!”

A male voice from outside.
“Anyone in there?”

A fireman. “Here! Man and
child! Break the window!”

“Hold on, we’re coming in
through the house. Stay down.”

I pulled Madhu onto the floor,
and sucked in the cool, relatively fresh air.

After what seemed like hours,
someone opened the bathroom door and called. Smoke rushed in, but I
thrust Madhu up at the fireman. “My brother’s in the living room,
hurt. Behind the sofa.”

“We found him. Let’s get you
out.”

He threw a fire blanket over
us, and other fire officers sprayed a path clear with powerful
hoses. In seconds we were outside and safe, coughing and sobbing
with relief.

“Daddy!”

I looked up. Madhu tried to run
over to where Yashi lay face down on a stretcher, but the fireman
stopped him, giving me a look. “Not yet, son. They’re busy. Let’s
get you on oxygen.”

I kept a firm grip on my
struggling nephew as we were led to an emergency services vehicle,
and medics took charge, slapping oxygen masks on both of us, and
checking the minor burns and cuts. My lungs and throat really hurt
now, but I couldn’t take my eyes off where Yashi was being worked
on.
Please, let him be
alive.