Digital Heretic (3 page)

Chapter 7

Danielle - 41

  I likely shouldn’
t
be doing this.

 
Psychics, mediums, clairvoyants — I never really thought about them or what they did. They were always on commercials and occasionally in the news in my town, trying to help police find a missing child or commenting on the upcoming future, but I was too busy to pay them much attention. There’s mostly mention of the fakes — the ones who use simple psychology and knowledge of how the human brain works to trick people into thinking they are genuine. 

 
This lady sounded different, though. She’s difficult to track down, she doesn’t publicize her abilities, those who do know about her work diligently to keep her protected from the press and from large crowds of people coming to her for help. She doesn’t charge money, but does accept gifts if you feel inclined to provide one. There’s a lot more about this lady that many find fascinating, mysterious, and convinces me that she’s the real deal.

 
Of course, all of this could be her elaborate way of delivering a richly detailed and clever scam. 

 
Stephanie and Raphael haven’t weighed in on this woman, most likely because I haven’t told them about her. They get worried when I ask about life outside this world. I don’t know why; if we

have a life outside this game, I was expecting them to tell me much more about it than they have. 

  Maybe it’s a horrible place, where we really exist. Not long after Trew was killed, I asked Stephanie some questions about what he would be doing now. She just looked at me and broke down crying. A few hours later, she said she was just sorry he was gone from here, because she had loved him, and although he was fine, she would never see him again because she was stuck inside this reality. Her story seemed okay, but somehow I didn’t believe her. There seemed to be more to her sadness than just that. 

 
She cried like he was really gone.

 
So here I sit, at a plain table in a plain room, a middle-aged woman named Eva sitting across from me. I haven’t told her anything about myself, or why I’m here. She doesn’t know my name or any details about me. I was told that she does a totally cold reading. She walks into a room, looks at you and then it comes, whatever ‘it’ is. So often people come in and talk, giving away minor facts and details that make it easy for a fake to come up with what looks like a magical conversation with the departed, when the customer has actually provided all the details without knowing it. That won’t be the case here.

 
She looks… disappointing. Shoulder-length brown hair, brown eyes, no makeup, clothes that are clean and pleasant, but nothing flashy. No gaudy, thick makeup or hair tied up in gypsy headgear. No flashy

rings or wrists full of bracelets clinking and clacking as she moves her hands. None of that. There is one classic item sitting on the table
, though

 
“A crystal ball?” I ask. “Really?”

 
“Absolutely,” she says. “Crystals have great significance and power. Not just the clear quartz you see on the table. There are thousands of different crystals and gemstones that can help us.”

 
Oh, dear. She is a fraud, after all. Oh well, I may as well stay for the whole session. It did take me two months to get this appointment. “That doesn’t seem right,” I say. “Why haven’t I heard about this if it’s true?”

 
Eva smiles kindly, as if I am a child who has just said that clouds are made up of cotton balls and they float in the sky by magic. “Did you know that there is a wild bird in the world that helps local natives hunt for honey?”

 
“No…” I say.

 
“The bird searches for trees that are rich with wild honey, and when it finds the correct spot, it signals the local natives with a very specific call. The natives get the honey out so they can eat it, and they share some of the honey with the bird. On its own, the bird could never get to the honey. Scientists have studied this relationship and the birds have developed calls that they use only to communicate with the native humans.”

 
“That’s pretty fascinating,” I say sincerely.

 
“You believe me?” Eva asks.

 
Her question makes me pause. “Yes, I do.”

 
“Why? It sounds impossible, doesn’t it? A wild bird, learning whole new sounds just to communicate with and help humans find honey?”

 
“I guess it does sound impossible,” I say.

 
“Yet you believe me. Humans are strange creatures, aren’t we? We can believe the unbelievable so easily at times, and doubt the truth just as readily at others.”

 
“That is true,” I say. “It’s an excellent example, thank you. I will have to remember that false story so I can use it to share the same point in the future.”

 
Eva laughs gently. There is no malice in it, only amusement. “The story about the bird is true. What I say about crystals is also true. If you can believe one, then you can believe the other.”

 
“But one lacks detail. If I had more facts, then the crystal explanation would be more believable.”

 
Eva shrugs. “They both lack detail. I could give you charts and studies and stacks of research done with crystals over the centuries and still you wouldn’t believe it. The story of the bird didn’t contain any more detail, really. But it felt right because of our conditioning, so it was easier to accept.”

 
“What conditioning is that?” I ask.

 
“We have been conditioned to accept animals as having human characteristics,” Eva said. “Since we were little children, we have seen animals as being human-like. They talk to our children, educating and entertaining them on the television and in movies. In books they are also human-like. When we grow up, we understand that there is no way for animals to be this way, but deep down we accept it easier than other things.”

 
I laugh out loud. “Okay, so tell me more about the crystals and how they work. I don’t want to be part of the group of people that don’t understand them any longer.”

 
Eva smiles and nods. “Basic science states that everything is made up of molecules, right?” 

 
“Yes,” I agree.

 
“We also accept that everything on this planet is made up of only a few specific molecules, with mainly the carbon molecule as the backbone for everything,”  She says.

 
This is like a high school science class; glad I paid attention back then. “That’s right, and the molecules vibrate at different speeds, or frequencies, which determines what they are. So a table made of wood is made up of molecules that vibrate at one frequency, while a table made from marble is made up of mostly the same molecules vibrating at a different frequency.”

 
“Correct,” Eva says. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small felt pouch, opens it up, and empties the contents of it into her hand. Different stones spill out onto her palm and she holds

them out for me to inspect. They vary in shape, size and colour. “Each of these stones is made from essentially the same molecules, yet they all vibrate at different speeds or frequencies.  That gives each stone a different set properties. Some of the properties we can see
— colour, shape, et cetera. But the difference in frequencies also produces properties that we cannot see.”

 
“That makes sense,” I say.

 
“I’m glad you agree,” she says. “Now let me talk about vibration for a minute. Unless I’m boring you? If I am, we can skip this part?”

 
“No, this isn’t boring at all. Please continue.”

  “Okay
, then. Vibration is energy, do you agree?” Eva asks.

 
“I do agree. Boiling water vibrates more than cold water.” 

 
“That’s right. And a result of vibration is heat, or energy. There are many types of energy, but they all involve vibration at different levels,” Eva says.

 
“So these stones all vibrate differently and give off different types of energy?” I ask.

 
“Exactly. And because of that, each stone has different effects on other things. It seems that these stones react with human cells and energy in very specific ways; many beneficial ways. It’s almost as if millions of years ago something created these stones to help our bodies out. Some stones help keep us healthy, others protect us from radiation… they do a myriad of things, all very fascinating.”

 
“How come this isn’t well known?” I ask.

 
“It is,” Eva answers. 

 
“Then why doesn’t every person know about it?”

 
“That’s an excellent question, with disturbing answers,” Eva says. “Definitely not a topic for right now. But do you believe me just a bit more than you did earlier about the crystal being on the table for a valid reason?”

 
“Yes, I do.” And I do.

 
“Good,” Eva says. “Belief is important. The crystal helps amplify energy and communication. The crystal is one of the most

versatile of all gemstones, and that is why you often see it used, even by people who lack any real ability. They at least get their stage set right, even if they
don’t understand why.”

 
Eva puts the stones back into her bag and tucks them safely away. She takes a deep breath and then looks at me seriously. “Okay, then. Shall we try to contact your husband?”

 
Lucky guess. Most clients my age likely come here to contact a husband who has passed. I’m not impressed. I also know she might have seen me on TV and some of her information will look authentic, but come from public knowledge.

 
She closes her eyes and minutes pass.

 
Her closed eyes squint together even more, she reaches out her hand towards me and asks me to hold it, which I do. I can feel a tingling energy surrounding me, very close to the golden glow that I’ve developed over the years, but slightly different.

 
After perhaps five minutes she releases my hand and opens her eyes. I can see tears in them and she looks at me sadly. 

 
“What is it?” I ask. “You haven’t said anything yet.”

 
“I’m sorry, my dear, I didn’t know. I should have guessed, but I’ve only heard about this; in all my years I haven’t experienced it. I’m so sorry.”

 
I’m scared now. Eva is upset and I have a bad feeling. “Sorry for what?”

  “
I can’t help you talk to him, Danielle. He wasn’t just killed. He was severed.”

 
My mouth turns dry and the muscles in my neck at the base of my skull feel like they’re tightening so hard that my head is going to be pulled down into my back. “What does that mean?” I whisper.

  “
It means that he didn’t pass over. I can’t communicate with him because he’s gone.”

  “
Gone where?” I know I don’t want to hear any more, but I can’t stop asking questions.

  “I’m
sorry.” Eva is crying now.

  I’m
too numb to join her.

Chapter 8

  Why would a person want to believe in only one life? 

 
Is this incarnation of yours so good that you wouldn’t like another?

Are things so spectacular that if the
Almighty came to you and said, “Grab yourself another entire lifetime to live!” you would say, “Oh, no thanks, I really nailed it and took care of everything in that last life”?

 
Even if I had the most incredible life, I would still be willing to give it another go. What if we do live in some real world after this one and all we do is work and have no time for any fun? 

 
What’s that, you say? That’s how your life is now? Tsk tsk. You might be missing your only chance for fun and excitement. 

 
And in case you miss it this time… why not go ahead and believe you get more than one life?

Danielle - 41

“
She said h
e
was severed
.
What does that mean?”

 
Raphael looks at me blankly. I don’t even dare to blink in case I miss something. He’s going to lie to me, and I want to make sure I get whatever info I can from his body language. Even when people lie, they can tell you a lot from their body language.

 
From my right side I hear Stephanie chirp out a reply. “Danni, we have no idea what she meant. What are you doing going to a medium, anyway? We warned you about…”

 
I hiss and hold up my hand to her. I don’t even bother to look at her. I point my index finger at Raphael. “I was asking him, not you. Be quiet until I can think properly, Stephanie. I’ve allowed the two of you to divide and conquer me for too long. You say I’m important? Well, if this conversation doesn’t go the way I want it to, then I’m done
.
” I haven’t taken my eyes off Raphael, and his are locked with mine. I hope he’s reading my look correctly, because I mean what I’m saying. They know something, and I’m ready to hear what it is. “Do you believe me, Raphael?”

 
Raphael continues to stare at me, then his eyes soften and he nods. “I believe you, Danni. You have lived long enough to understand that some things are better left unknown. I will ask you one more time to leave this alone. If you refuse, then I will tell you, and I’m not going to feel bad about it

 
His answer makes me pause to consider for a moment. Do I really want to know? It took me quite a while to get Eva calmed down; she kept apologizing and looking at me sadly. I tried to pay her for her

services
, but she just shook her head and pressed a rose quartz gemstone into my palm. Every time I ask Raph and Stephanie they both look very sad. Stephanie cries sometimes, too. Do I really want to know?

 
I nod my head yes and Raphael closes his eyes. He gets up and walks over to a cabinet. I’ve seen it in his room before and never thought much of it. It’s a small, plain looking wooden cabinet, gold coloured hardwood, shiny. He inserts a key, unlocks it, and reaches inside. He pulls out a tapered metal spike. Gold and silver lines cover the entire surface of it, like computer circuitry. It has a small red button at its base. He walks over and hands it to me. It’s warm and seems to hum faintly.

  “
This is called a Sever Spike. This is what Carl put into Trew; it’s the weapon that killed him.”

 
I nod silently, blinking back hot tears. I’m not going to cry. He’s been gone almost two years. I need to hear this. I have to.

  “
When you were little,” Raphael continues, “I stopped a man from killing you with the same type of weapon. When I saw he what he was going to use on you, I slit his throat and let him bleed out slowly.” 

I
look up from the weapon at Raphael. His eyes are blazing, the gold flecks swirling angrily in his dark brown eyes. He’s extremely angry. A small part of me screams that I should tell him to stop, that I don’t need to know any more, but I say nothing and let him continue.

  “
When an avatar dies, their essence returns to their body on our homeworld. They wake up, and after a brief time, they go about their lives. If they are young enough, they plan their next play in the Game. If they are too old to play any longer, they move into the next phase of their lives.”

 
I nod. He has told me this before.

  “
When an avatar is killed with one of these,” he taps lightly on the Sever Spike I hold in my hands, “the avatar dies, but their essence, their soul, doesn’t return to their real body.” He becomes quiet. Stephanie comes over to sit beside me, resting her hand gently on my neck.

  “
What happens to it?” I ask.

 
Raphael says nothing. His face is a mixture of rage and sadness; I can see the pain of losing Trew in his eyes, and the blame he has put on himself as his failed guardian.

  “
Raphael? What happened to Trew’s soul?”

 
Raphael looks back up at me and he shakes his head. I don’t want to hear what he’s about to say. My ears feel full of pressure; his voice sounds like it’s coming from underwater. “I’m so sorry, my sweet girl. It’s gone. His soul was ripped into a million little pieces and scattered to the cosmic winds. He’s gone, dead forever.”

 
A strange calm blankets me, like I’ve moved past the need to feel. It’s as if some divine hand has wrapped me in its protective embrace to shield me from total annihilation. I float peacefully inside this bubble, calm as can be, while I watch the other part of me boil in rage. I can feel my eyes burning, and when I look up at Raphael I hear him gasp in surprise. “Carl did this to my life. To the other half of my soul.”

 
Raphael nods.

  “
I want him.” I hold the Sever Spike up in front of me. Its humming seems louder now. It’s hungry — I can feel it. “I want him standing in front of me, and I will shove this into his face and watch him die. That’s the only goal in my life now, and
I will not fail.
”

 
Raphael nods. “We will help you, Danni. But you must calm down.”

  “
I am calm,” I say.

  “
No, you’re not. If you don’t calm down, we won’t ever get a chance to find Carl. Breathe, Danni.”

 
I close my eyes and take deep breaths. The emptiness fades and is replaced by pain. Intense pain. After a few moments I open my eyes and look at Raphael. He nods, then stands up and leads me to a mirror. “We have new things to teach you, dear.”

  “
Like what?” I ask. Raphael points me towards the mirror and I look at my reflection. My reflection looks the same, except for one major difference. My eyes are no longer blue. They are icy white with bright silver flecks that swirl around lazily, like fish in a pond.

“
Like… lots
.
”  Raphael says. 

  “
Am I an Eternal?” I ask.

  “
Danni,” Raphael shakes his head in confusion, “I have no idea what you are.”