Dionysus (Greek God Romance Book 1) (15 page)

“Rebecca.”

“Rebecca. . . great name. I don’t get many.”

“Oh?”

“Mostly country folks, a trickle at a time. The
other
gods handle more than I these days.”

Rebecca made a inquisitive face but said nothing.

She turned to Dionysus. He threw his hands up in the air. Rebecca snorted and went to the back.

Hades laughed. “I see, Dionysus.”

“Do you?”

He put his hands to his eyes and opened them wide. “Oh, yes, very wide and intrusive.”

“It’s good your down there.”

“It is. . . I do have a tendency to let my mouth run amuck. This sort of thing happens when no one can tell your secrets.”

“What do you think?”

“Be careful. When
she
goes bump in the night, she’s a wrecking ball. Full demolition.”

“I know. . .”

“I know you know. It seems you needed to be reminded.”

“She does.”

He brushed it off. “These are merely words.”

“Huh?”

“Women drive the chariots these days. You should see Persephone.”

“How is she?”

“Very well, it’s too bad, she couldn’t come.”

“Why couldn’t she?”

“Ah, you know, duties and such. She would’ve made an exception. . .
had
we known. Those two would’ve closed the bar.”

Dionysus laughed, sipped his beer. “Advice?”

Hades rummaged through his robes. He pulled out a coin. It was gold and had a laughing skull on it. “This should help.”

Dionysus grabbed it. “And to activate it?”

“Heads or tails.”

“The game?”

Hades offered, “Tails never fails.”

Dionysus snorted. “Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Really don’t, I’d rather not a visit from
her.
”

He scoffed. “You came topside just for this?”

“Of course, I did. Your father is under thumb and your other uncle is on an endless vacation. Someone has to look out for you. I’ve always liked your nature, reminds me of myself.”

“It’s too bad you’re down there.”

He shrugged. “The best candidates for a job are the ones who want it the least. I didn’t care for the role all those years ago but. . . I understand the importance. Your father has a good head when his other isn’t occupied.”

“When’s that?”

He chuckled. “Brief seconds every hour. It means something after many years.”

Dionysus snorted. Rebecca came back with another glass for him. “Not that you deserve it.”

Hades whole body shook. “Caliente!”

Rebecca burst out laughing. “I would never suspect you to be like this. It’s so. . . refreshing.”

Hades leaned over the bar. “You have to meet the wife.”

Dionysus gazed at Hades trying to tell him to shut up.

“Oh?”

“Oh yes, definitely one of these days when everything is ironed out.”

She asked, “What’s it now?”

“Lots of wrinkles, it’ll be quick though. I hope I don’t see you down there.”

“I would visit the Underworld.”

He nodded. “I know you would.”

“What’s it like?”

“It’s like here but down there.”

“What about the skeletons and ghouls?”

He brushed it aside. “Malevolent souls, I give everyone a chance but. . . some just want it the hard way.”

Remembering an old saying her father had told her, one of the few snippets of wisdom he passed down and stuck. “No one gets fired; they fire themselves.”

He pointed at her. “Exactly.”

Rebecca asked, “What’s there for entertainment?”

“These are good questions. Dionysus, why don’t you ask me these questions? Or anyone else for that matter?”

“I’m a god.”

“True. . . uh, entertainment’s just like here. We have sports and TV and anything you want depending on where you’re at.”

“Levels?”

“Sort of, think of it like stages. Just because you’re in one stage doesn’t mean you can’t move up or down.”

“How does one move up?”

“Time. You know the elderly on topside get the shaft. They put all this time in and can’t enjoy a damn thing for years because everything’s broken. I give them the most, the biggest benefit of a doubt.”

“Interesting.”

“It can be.”

“If I die old, do I revert back to my youth?”

“Your call.”

“Huh?”

“Whatever pleased you most to be is what you’ll be. There are tons of children down there that died in the eighty to hundred range.”

“Really?”

He nodded. “They wanted their childhood back.”

“And if you want to grow up again?”

“You can do that. But no flip flopping every year. I hate that shit.”

She grinned. “Sounds like a wild place.”

He raised his eyebrows. “It’s actually quite lovely.”

He downed his beer and Rebecca went to get him another.

He turned to Dionysus. “You need to get smart, quick. She’s out of your league.”

“Uh—”

“Good. Now. . . Let’s get weird.”

THE HADES

Dionysus and Rebecca woke up as an entangled mass of limbs. He found her big toe drumming his lip, and she found his knee in her eye. They were a limb short of an interesting game of Twister.

Dionysus uttered,  “Uhhhh. . .”

Rebecca asked, “What happened?”

Dionysus did a slow blink at the red ceiling that made him think of red meat, and subsequently vomit. “Uhhh. . .” was all he managed again.

Rebecca smeared her hand over her face. “I remember—I remember being drunk. Wait. . . You were drunk.”

“Wha—what—why?”

He looked down to find a note on his chest:

If lost, return to Olympus

-Hades

Rebecca found one on her chest as well.

The Hades:
 

 
1 part Jim Bean
 

 
1 part Johnny Walker
 

 
1 part Angel’s Envy
 

 
1 part Jack Daniels
 

 
1 part Don Julio
 

 
1 part Grey Goose
 

 
1 part whatever Dionysus is having
 

 
1 prayer

Rebecca looked down and laughed. “Now I remember that. You had a hundred of them, lined up across the bar counter then emptied what was left of your stash.”

“Uhhh. . . turn. . . everything. . . down.”

She got up wearily, traveling to the kitchen. She recalled that Hestia had stocked a cabinet full of Ambrosia Bars.
Thank goodness.

At the kitchen, there was one more note:

Dear Rebecca and Dionysus,

Unfortunately, I cannot stay for another day. Duty calls. Busy. Busy. Busy. I imagine the both of you don’t remember much. I see the patrons of the bar to be fiercely loyal to the both of you; and therefore, the danger of Dionysus professing his love may be diminished. But a danger it still is. I figured you should know—in case you don’t remember. Now, I also imagine it is Rebecca reading this note. If I am wrong, well, these things happen from time to time, but I can already envision Dionysus draped over the bed with my note firmly on his chest and him closing his eyes to the world. And so, Rebecca, I ask you to read this and throw it away. Dionysus will become unbearable if he knew what he did. He has lost much at the hands of Hera, and regrettably, it is why he sits at the bar instead of traveling the world like he once did. I fear that he may send you away if he finds out, and now, more than ever, he needs you whether he can admit it or not. I know you may be worried that he will recall the events at a later date. Fear not! I slipped him something at the end to make sure he couldn’t remember anything. Oh and sorry, he will be insufferable about forgetting a day. Gods never forget!

I did not exactly plan on getting Dionysus wasted to such a degree. But such is life, an unplanned ball of fun. Before the events, I left him a token to give you. You can find it in your pocket. I know you to be too smart for him and us gods like to operate with ambiguity so all I can say is this:

Heads or tails?

I look forward to seeing you again, Rebecca. I know I will. You are too stubborn to die. They say that’s why we’re still alive. Or rather, the Greeks said that thousands of years ago. It could be true?!

Love,

Hades

Rebecca stared at the note for a time as groans, moans and curses could be heard from her bedroom. She took the letter, turned on the stove and burned it.

She reached in her pocket and found a gold coin with a laughing skull on each side. She smirked.
Heads or tails?
I wonder. . .

“What’s
that
smell?”

She put the coin back in her pocket, grabbed the Ambrosia Bars and went back into the bedroom.

FUCK YOU, XBOX!

Hera’s follower walked down Zeus Boulevard and hung a left to get to Ares’ home.

The follower was troubled. Hera’s followers were always troubled. This, however, was a unique circumstance. She heard yelling and screaming and violence echoing down the block. The origin coming from her destination, Ares’ home.

When she was half a block, she caught an Ares follower flying by.

“Where—?”

The eyes that looked back at her had a horror in them, a terrible one. This was enhanced by the fact that Ares’ followers were ruthless, some, anyway.

Hera’s follower decided to sneak into Ares’ home. It had not been something she was told to do. She looked to win Hera’s favor by talking to Ares and providing some clue that was missed. Seeing the horror in that follower’s eyes and the clamor that came from the home, concerned her but not enough to stop her from trying.
Hera is still scarier,
was the reassurance she gave herself.

She roamed through his house. The walls were decorated with paintings of war and violence with weapons and heads of animals and mythical creatures framing the paintings. There were streaks of blood everywhere, which had Hera’s follower pause and almost ran away.

Ares had commissioned an artist to paint blood streaks around the home. He wanted to promote his lore as the
true
war god. This was because of a feud between him and Athena that started with the Trojan War.

She hugged a wall, keeping her back on it and inching towards the great room where combat could be heard.

She piqued around the corner.

And there it was. . .

Thirty Xbox One’s torn to bits as Ares played on the thirty-first in a losing match in Halo’s multiplayer mode.

Hera’s follower ran out of the home as he destroyed his thirty-first.

She heard his voice carry as she made it outside his home. “Fuck you, Xbox!”

I NEED SOME DICK

This night, truly, a somber and sullen vibe took over The Old Watering Hole.

The doors blew open as a pretty goddess came in. Her brunette hair in a ponytail, wearing a golden crown with vines wrapping around the top of her head—in the crown were carvings of woodland creatures. She was about as tall as Rebecca, and thereby, short for a goddess. She wore a green outfit much like Robin Hood and brown pants. Her feet were bare, and although worked to death, remained pretty.

She took a seat at the bar next to Dionysus.

She frowned at him then glared at Rebecca. “Is your sanctuary still intact?”

Dionysus groaned, arching his head up. “Why can’t you say ‘hello,’ or ‘how are you?’ like a normal being that roams this Earth?”

“Why can’t you stay out of my affairs?”

“They always seem to encompass me.”

She snatched her bow and arrow within a blink of an eye and had it pointed at a satyr.

“Dare?”

“Anything is fair game in my hunt.”

“Is that so?”

Artemis’ eyes squinted, steadied her aim. The satyr, in the crosshairs, panicked and spilled his drink about, then tried to hide behind a Cyclops. “It has always been my right.”

 Dionysus sighed. “Do we need to throw another party?”