Dirty (15 page)

J
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, I won’t even admit to my first born how much I love this league and how insanely in love I am with Ava. I don’t miss her little nuzzles and pets on the way home, but fuck we just beat a really good team and pretty much did it with just Rhett and I.

The men from our work seem to be more preoccupied with standing out by the trailer and passing a joint around. And when it seems one of the goofy motherfuckers can hit or catch a ball they giggle like little schoolboys. Then we have the girls on the team who seem to think they’re pretty badass and I’ll be the first to admit that I let my little Ava get away with anything.

Today I turned twenty-five and what a better way than to spend it with my grandpa and then beating the shit out of the punks in this town. Ava surprised me with a chocolate chip pancake breakfast in bed, topped with her tits and whipped cream.

The little shit made me eat while bouncing up and down on my cock and twisting her own nipples while letting them fall in the whipped cream every so often. Best fucking birthday ever. I’m truly hoping she has the same gift giving abilities on all other holidays, even if the banks just observe them.

“Dinner at our place,” Ava announces.

Her comment takes me by surprise, especially the use of our. I like it, no I motherfucking love it.

“We grabbing take-out?” I ask, throwing the equipment bag over my shoulder and grabbing her hand.

Ava gives me an extra squeeze and shakes her head.

“Then?” I pry, looking down at her.

“Grandpa and I went shopping this morning and we’re going to grill.”

“Nice.” I nod my head. It’s in moments like these that I feel like a normal person with typical shit going on in my life. It may be my birthday, but I have a little surprise for Ava later on tonight when we’re alone.

“Meet you over there,” Darby hollers. The two other girls climb into Rhett’s truck. His old clunker has really shaped up with chrome rims and new paint job. He must be really kicking ass at his new night job. I haven’t had the chance to ask him what’s up between him and Darby, but there’s definitely something going on. She’s always riding right next to him or the two of them are sneaking off together.

I must admit Chloe and Darby have grown on me. It took some time, but I finally came around to seeing that they genuinely care for Ava. Darby is quite the little fighter at the club when I perform on Friday and Saturday nights. I had to tell her to cool her jets because it was affecting my tips.

“Why so quiet, Ava?” I look down to my arm where she’s lazily tracing circles with her perched on my shoulder.

“Just thinking.”

“About?”

“Shit.”

“Any good shit?” I bring the truck to a stop at a four way stop and lift her chin to look up at me. “What’s going on?”

“It just sucks how shitty life can be.”

I quirk an eyebrow up at her. “I think life is going pretty damn good right now.”

“Yeah.” She brushes my comment off and I know something else deeper is going on right now.

“Ava.” I grow irritated with her and whatever she’s not telling me.

“Zane.” She mimics my voice and then smiles up at me. Her lips press to mine in a quick kiss. “I just wish things in life were fair and they’re not.”

Rhett lays on the horn behind us, so I break eye contact with Ava, and begin driving. My gut feels like it’s been run through the spin cycle in a washer. “Are you happy, Ava?”

“Yes, I am. Zane, I’ve never been happier. It’s just…”

I focus on the road and don’t look down at her; I’m not sure I can take what she’s about to lay on me.

“We’ll talk about it tomorrow.” She slaps my forearm as I turn into the driveway of my house.

“No, now.”

“It’s not bad, babe.”

“Then fucking spill, Ava.”

I kill the engine and turn to her. A bit of uncertainty lingers in her eyes. “I don’t want this to put you in a bad mood or cause a blow up between us.”

“Now, Ava.”

“I’ve rounded up some money to have hospice come in.” She presses her fingers to my lips. “And before you react please listen, Zane.”

Silence floats around us in the truck for several seconds.

“I had some money in an account that I withdrew and since I’m eighteen, my parents had no say over it. It will be enough to cover his hospice care then the left over money if any, will be donated to another family.”

‘She took his money’ plays over and over on repeat in my head. Now, Ava’s in debt to her father and that means… “So, we’re over?”

“No, baby.” She cups her hands around my face and I pull away in shock. “It was my money, Zane. Not theirs. I even had a lawyer take a look at it. The only thing they can try to do is sue me and they won’t because of the bad publicity.”

“Ava, you risked it all…” She cuts me off before I have the chance to finish.

“I did. And I’d do it again, Zane. I’ve been doing research and your grandpa is going fast. He needs to be comfortable and we both need support.”

“Are you going to leave me?” The words cut my tongue.

“Never. I’m yours forever. I’d make a deal with the devil for you and your grandpa because you guys are family now.” She tries to sit closer and I back up to the door, not wanting her contact right now.

“Zane, say something.”

“Why are you so nervous about it? You’re not telling me something, Ava.”

“Your reaction for one and two, my dad is livid and is demanding to marry me off. He has no right to any of it.” She gives up trying to touch me and slides over to her door and opens it.

“I love you, Zane, and have fallen in love with this place and your grandpa. I wanted to help you. I want to be with you forever and risked pissing off Satan to help your grandpa out, so hate me if you want.”

I watch Ava walk up the front steps and disappear into the house. I take a few moments to absorb everything she just told me. I realize that she sacrificed everything to make sure that my grandpa has an easy passing. She used her own money and went up against her father to help us out. I’m sure she thinks I’m pissed right now and uncontrollably rolling into a fit of anger. But it’s more than that; she took it into her own hands without asking me or having anyone ask her to do this.

I slump back in my seat and mull over her words, remembering the tone of her voice and how nervous she was to tell me. I grow more…I don’t know what I feel actually, part pride, part anger that I can’t provide this for my grandpa, and most of all, I feel loved. Loved like I’ve never been loved before.

Ava is saving my family or at least doing what she can to save it. I remain frozen in my truck for twenty more minutes, thinking it all over and processing it. And come to the conclusion that I will not let her dad destroy her, threaten her, or hold anything over her head from this point on.

By the time I step out of the truck, everyone is already on the patio talking by the barbecue and sharing a good laugh. Ava never makes eye contact while she keeps her head down and continues bringing out plates, bowls of salad, and a birthday cake. The birthday cake is nothing fancy. It’s quite obvious she made it herself. The frosting and decorations look like a three-year-old could have done it, but it’s mine and she made it for me.

Grandpa waves me over to sit by him in his rocking chair so I take a seat in the folding chair next to him.

“What’s going on?”

I shake my head, not ready to talk about it or even offer any of my feelings because I’ve never digested emotions or feelings like this and quite frankly, I don’t know how to fucking handle it.

“Rhett’s over here bragging about how you guys killed that other team and everyone seems to be in a good mood except for you, Zane.”

“I’m fine. Actually, I’m better than fine.”

I rise from the seat and turn around to tell grandpa I’ll go grab a beer and be right back. As soon as I enter the house, Ava scurries from it once again with an arm full of presents, still not making eye contact and I know it’s because she is afraid of the storm I’m about to lay on her. Making my way back to my bedroom, I take a quick shower, toss on some loose shorts and a T-shirt. My clothes are washed and folded thanks to Ava, something they’ve never been

I show back up on the patio with two beers in hand. Ava has her back to me at the grill flipping steaks and after handing Grandpa his beer, I go over to her. She doesn’t turn around when I set my beer down on the cooking station next to her and I know she sees my hand and my beer go down.

I feel her body stiffen without even touching her and it makes me feel like the biggest asshole in this world. She was expecting me to kick her out, throw a huge ass fit, or even me going off on one of my tirades. I slowly run my hands around her middle and pull her back to me just enough so I can feel her pressed up against my body.

She ignores it all, tending to the steaks salting them with a final shot of seasonings. I dip my head low, rubbing my lips against her ear lobe and take in her scent and everything she is to me before speaking.

“Thank you, Ava.” I lower my lips, nuzzling into her and placing kisses down her jawline and back up.

“I don’t know how I could ever thank you enough for what you’ve done for my family Ava, just know it means the world to me and so do you.”

Tears fall onto my forearms that are holding her close to me and I know she’s heard my words. She mumbles out a phrase and I don’t quite make it out and ask her to repeat herself.

“I thought you were mad. I know I should have come to you first and asked, but I didn’t want you to say no.”

“Ava, I’m not mad. I wasn’t even pissed when you were telling the whole story. I was blown away with shock. I’m not running, I’m not scared, though all I am right now is madly in love with you and everything you stand for.”

She spins around in my arms and buries into my chest. I still feel her tears running and all I can do is rub circles on her back, squeeze her a little tighter, and let her know that I’m here, not running, and love her more than anything else in this world.

It hasn’t escaped me that I’ll be watching my grandpa take his last breath in a few short months or hell even a few short days, but with her here showing me and teaching me how to love and loving me back has made the world of difference.

I know it won’t be easy when he takes his last dying breath on this Earth and will do everything but completely destroy me, but in some weird sense I know it will be all right because of her. Ava will make it easier to dig up the soil where his body will be laid to rest, she’ll shine beauty onto his headstone, and hold my hand through the pain.

“I thought you were going to tell me to leave.” She keeps her head tucked when she talks and her little sobs wrack out between every other word.

“I started packing my bags knowing that I’ve crossed the line and you’d never forgive me. Please know Zane, I’d do anything to make you happy. You are so worth it.”

“Maybe, but it’s my birthday. And I’m ready to celebrate it with you and my family.”

I let Ava remain wrapped around me with her face buried in my chest, I feel her tears began to dry up and her breathing evens out again and I know she’s calming herself down. I continue rubbing her back and alternate, pulling my hand through her hair, giving her all the time she needs. It’s the least I can do after what she’s done for me and my grandpa.

“Ava, I’m not used to other people taking care of me. It’s something I’m learning to accept thanks to you, and not to mention you having me beating the rich kids’ asses in baseball.”

Ava looks up to me with her tears all dried up and a slight grin shining on her face.

“And I made a birthday cake for you, so that’s pretty much girlfriend bonus points for eternity.”

“Do I get to eat it off your body?” I waggle my eyebrows up and down, suddenly feeling playful. I’m thinking it’s the effect of my breakfast she served me this morning.

“It’s your only option considering I ran out of birth control yesterday.”

“Are you fucking kidding me right now? Jesus.” I grit my teeth together just remembering the sexy as sin breakfast this morning.

“Fucking starving here,” Rhett hollers, bouncing over to the grill, clearly ready for dinner. Ava tosses him the biggest T-bone on the grill, making him thrilled beyond words. I’m not sure if the man loves pussy or steak more.

It only takes a few moments before everyone else is lined up. I snag a plate for Grandpa and have Ava throw on the smallest steak. She has quite the spread on the table with bowls of green salad, pasta salad, and potato salad. I can’t help but nibble off Grandpa’s plate while scooping out his servings.

“That’s Nancy’s recipe,” Grandpa points when I scoop out the potato salad.

“No shit?” I ask, astounded.

Nancy was one of Grandpa’s old girlfriends who could cook like a fucking ninja. She was famous for her potato salad countywide.

“Shared the recipe with your girl. She nailed it.” The pride beaming off him is contagious.

Once his plate is all fixed, I go over to him, and scoop him up in my arms. The end is getting closer because he doesn’t swat me away when I lift him up. His diminishing body sinks into my arms easily. I’d hate to know what he even weighs. His body is beginning to hold water, making it harder for him to breathe, talk, and even make simple movements. I’ve tried to suppress all of it in the back of my mind, but it’s here.

I place him at the head of the table where he’s sat since I was a young child. The sunshine reflecting off his skin offers glimpses of the healthy man he used to be.

“I’d kick your ass if it wasn’t your birthday, boy.”

Rhett lets out a hearty chuckle around a mouthful of steak. “I’ll take care of it for you, Pops, and I don’t give a fuck if it’s his birthday or not.”

That comment gets a big smile out of him. Ava pushes her way in and sets down a bottle of water and some pills in front of him. It’s not the first time I’ve seen her act as his nurse. It’s all in her nature and she never misses a beat.

It doesn’t take long before all the bowls are empty courtesy of Rhett and myself. Rhett beats me to it and snags Grandpa’s plate and polishes it off. Ava bounces up and gathers the gifts and cake from a nearby table. She’s cute balancing everything in her arms.