Dirty Secret (13 page)

A man was more than likely dead, and he’d left an array of victims behind, victims that should at least know their secrets were safe. But, in doing so, I was running the same risk as Dae-Hoon and opening myself up as a target. Someone in Dae-Hoon’s many notebooks might have decided to permanently rid himself of his financial drain. Opening up old wounds and murder tended to bring out the worst in people.

“No, I don’t want you to stop.” Scarlet dropped the bottle cap and squeezed my fingers. “Someone should pay for Dae-Hoon’s death if he is dead. I don’t think the police would look into it.”

“That’s something else we still haven’t looked into,” I said. “If the cops were there at Bi Mil that night, someone might have seen something, or know about Dae-Hoon. Bobby’s looking into that end of it.”

“What happened to all the money? The money he got from the other men?” Jae mused. “Did his sons get it?”

“I don’t know,” Scarlet admitted. “Things were complicated then. It was easier to let the family deal with him being gone. I took care of his apartment, but I paid movers to pack everything. His wife… she’d already left for Korea. I don’t know if there is anything in there his sons might want. If there is, please set it aside. It might help them now that… Helena is gone.”

“We’ll look,
nuna
,” Jae reassured her. “Let Cole do this for you. He’ll figure it out. I know he will.”

I
T
WAS
late by the time we bundled Scarlet up and headed home. My stomach was dead empty except for a couple of beers sitting there, and Jae’s belly grumbled as Scarlet’s car pulled away from the curb.

“Why didn’t you tell her about the men in the parking lot?” Jae asked. “She should know someone was following you.”

“Not until Bobby comes back with some info on their license plate,” I replied. “Honestly, I don’t know what to think about the car. It could be innocent, or maybe even some guys Kwon sent after me. Shin-Cho really fucked us over by telling Kwon.”

“Huh.” It was a neutral noise, one that said he wasn’t ready to commit one way or another. I was very used to that noise.

His hands were shoved into his jeans’ pockets. We were outside. Touching wasn’t something we did when we were outside. The thing at the Kwons’ was an anomaly, a step or five away from Jae’s normal. It didn’t mean I didn’t want to touch him. He’d told me once he wished he felt safe enough to be touched. When he leaned against me as the car turned the corner, my heart sang like we were in an old black and white film’s dance number.

It was stupid, but I grinned anyway.

The best part about my neighborhood was its mix of residential properties and small businesses. Old Laundromats were now restaurants, and some of the smaller homes were converted to shops, as in the case next door, a florist. A particularly enticing offering on my street was a tiny Italian café. It specialized in a Chicago-style pizza with enough cheese to choke a cow. The smell of tomato sauce, basil, and garlic tempted me.

“Want to get a pizza?” I knew what to say to seduce my lover. I was romantic that way. “Extra cheese and lots of mushrooms….”

“No pepperoni.” He tangoed back, flirting with the offer. “Sausage.”

I succumbed with a nod, then froze when Jae slipped his hand into mine. He took a step, but I was rooted in place, nearly jerking him back. He cocked his head, and I felt his fingers beginning to slip free, but I tightened my grip, stepping forward. “Don’t let go, Jae. Okay? Just don’t.”

“I want to try to… be in your world right now,” he murmured. “Just for a little bit. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said as casually as I could. Mike left me a message while we were with Scarlet. He needed an answer about Jae or Maddy was going to kick his ass, because she needed to know how many people were going to be at her dinner table. “Mike texted me earlier. His parents….”

“Your parents,” Jae interrupted me, sneaking a scolding look at me under his long lashes. “They are your parents too. Even when you’re mad at them.”

“Our parents,” I corrected. “They’ll be here tomorrow. He wanted to remind me about having dinner there. Guess he thought I’d skip town or something.”

“You would,” Jae replied. “It’s a reasonable thing to assume.”

“Because you know me so well,” I snorted. We stepped around someone’s plants they’d set out by their porch to water, avoiding the puddles as much as we could. “You’d also know I don’t want to go.”

“But, your sisters will be there, yes?” He quirked a grin at my sigh. “You should go. When is it?”

“Monday night.” Sighing did not win me any sympathy, but it did get a chuckle out of him. “Do you want to come with me?”

That
brought him to a standstill. His eyes narrowed, and another one of his noncommittal, semidisgusted noises escaped him.

“Why?” he finally asked.

“Why?” It seemed like an odd question. Why else would I want my lover to come with me? To share my pain and suffering. I was also more likely to keep my teeth gritted shut if Jae was there. I knew my limitations. “Why what?”

“Why do you want me to come with you? Do you want me there to support you?” Jae tugged on my hand when I tried to keep walking. “Or do you want me there to rub me in your father’s face? Will he be nicer to you if I’m there? Or will it not matter?”

“Oh, trust me, he won’t give a shit if the Queen of England was sitting down at the dinner table with us,” I quipped. “He’d ask her if I could borrow her tiara, so I could put it on my faggy head.”

“Then why go? Because of your sisters?” He’d begun chewing on his lower lip, a sure sign he was anxious. I wanted to kiss away the marks he was leaving, but we’d just graduated to holding hands in front of my house. If I kissed him, he’d run off screaming in terror.

“Because I promised Mike and Maddy I would go. Just like I promised Mike I’d see if you wanted to come too. I haven’t seen Tasha since I left, and I’ve only seen the other two in pictures. Pictures Barbara sent to Mike, by the way.” My eyes stung, and I blinked, biting the inside of my lip. Taking a breath, I continued. “I just wanted you there because… fuck, I need you there. Yeah, it’s kind of to rub my dad’s nose in shit. Mostly because I want to show him I’ve got this really great guy, and he can just fucking go to hell.”

“You’re asking me to sit there and listen to him hurt you then?” Jae asked quietly. “To sit at a dinner like that, and listen to him say things to you? I’m not family. I can’t speak against your father. It’s not… right, but it will be hard to just sit there. I don’t know if I can.”

“I’m also asking you to come to dinner to meet Maddy and my sisters,” I pointed out. “But mostly, it’s because I need you.”

He stared at me. Jae stood there and stared at me, weighing me and judging me until I thought I’d go crazy in the silence between us. A car passed by us, and the man driving rolled down his window, slowing down. Jae flinched, and I held onto his hand tighter, refusing to let go. His face flushed, either with shame or anger. I couldn’t tell which, but his fingers were still in mine when the car stopped by us. He was scared. The fear of being seen as a gay man rolled off him in waves.

I’d be damned if I was going to let go of him. If I had my way, I’d hold onto him until we starved to death.

“Hey, can you tell me how to get to the 10 from here?” The man frantically waved a piece of paper with a list of directions on it. “The damned directions say stay on Venice, but I got turned around.”

“No, you’re good.” I nodded down the street. “Keep going straight until you hit La Brea, then turn. That’s the easiest.”

Jae’s arm went slack while I finished giving the guy directions. He was quiet when I turned back to him, his teeth chewing on his lower lip again.

“Look,” I said, stepping in close. I kept his hand in mine, holding it against my chest. His pulse raced under my fingertips, his heart pounding a mile a minute. “I know… this… being who we are… being
what
we are isn’t easy for you. And I know I’m the first guy you’re trying to be like this with—”

“Not the first,” Jae murmured, shaking his head. “Hyun-Shik….”

His dead, somehow remotely related cousin. The same cousin who seduced him when he was fourteen, tossed him to the wolves to become a dancer at Dorthi Ki Seu, a private club that catered to closeted gay Korean men. The same cousin that entertained himself with male prostitutes working at the club, and was subsequently shot to death by his own sister for being one of those closeted gay men.

I
was
not standing in good company.

“Yeah, let’s not bring him up right now.” I sighed. “Jae—”

“Let me think about it, okay? About the dinner. About….” He clenched my hand tightly, then relaxed. “About this.”

It was a fair thing to ask. I was being selfish. I knew I was being selfish, but when I read Mike’s text all I could think about was Jae, and how much easier it would be to have him sitting next to me.

I didn’t think about how it would be for him.

“Okay,” I agreed. “We’re still good for the pizza, right?”

“Yeah, I don’t want to cook.” He smiled at me, the same shy, almost goofy smile that tugged at me the first time I met him. “Too much reading. Not enough lazy time. I need more lazy time today.”

“How about if we get the pizza to go, then?” I leaned over and lightly bit his neck, making him laugh. “I can give you a really good lazy time.”

“That’s never really lazy.” The smile turned erotic, and he pulled slightly away, tugging me along.

“Sure it will be,” I said, following. “You just lie there. I’ll do all the work.”

Chapter Nine

T
HE
pizza ended up on the floor.

Or maybe the stairs. I had high hopes that it landed right side up on the side table in the foyer. With my luck, the box toppled over and hit the cat, who now was plotting her revenge while covered with stringy cheese and spicy tomato sauce.

We’d made it as far as the front hall before Jae slid his hands up the back of my shirt. They were cold against my warm skin, and I yelped, hunching my shoulders forward to get away. He retaliated by shoving his fingers down the front of my waistband and yanking me toward him.

Surprisingly, my open mouth made an easy target for his hot tongue.

Jae was a sleek, long pleasure under my hands. The buttons on his 501s popped free with a simple push and tug of my fingers, and we both lost our shirts someplace on the stairs. I didn’t have to worry about shoes anymore. Having a Korean lover meant falling into the habit of leaving them by the front door. I was determined to do some research to see if I could convince Jae his culture actually demanded
all
clothes be left at the door.

Then again, if that happened, I’d never leave the house.

Somehow we made it to the bedroom without falling down the stairs and breaking our necks. I shut the door, leaving the cat outside to either continue with her world domination or feast on upside down pizza until she puked.

Pushing Jae back onto the bed, I grabbed at the ankles of his jeans and tugged, yanking them off quickly. A few seconds later, I was staring down at one of the most beautiful men I’d ever seen, sprawled out on my bed linens wearing nothing but a pair of black briefs and a wistful smile.

The briefs came off faster than the jeans did.

“
Agi
.” He reached for me, but I shook my head, pushing his hands away.

“No, let me look at you,” I murmured. “Let me… taste you.”

Jae’s pale skin shone under the soft light. He was a contrast of cream and pearl against the dark-green sheets, with splashes of darker rose on his chest, his nipples hardening as I watched. His slender cock glistened at its wet slit, already damp from need. I was torn between smearing his seed over the bulb and watching him writhe, or licking him clean so I could have him in my mouth as I kissed his body.

I licked him.

And held an explosion of stars on my tongue.

I didn’t want to swallow. Ever. But I did, knowing there’d be more. If I had my way, I’d die with Jae’s taste in my mouth. It was scary, how fast I was falling… how quickly I’d fallen.

Fuck, it was going to hurt when I hit the ground. And fuck me if I didn’t care.

I started at his thighs, hooking my thumbs under his knees so I could pull his legs apart. He resisted briefly, then let me in, with his shyness turning his face nearly as pink as his lips. There were times when he couldn’t watch me love him; then there were moments when he was bold and needy. Tonight, he looked away, closing his eyes so his dark lashes shadowed his cheekbones.

I knew this side of Jae. Vulnerable, a little scared to trust, and trembling under my questing mouth and fingers. Stroking his thighs as they parted, I laid a gentle kiss on the tender skin above both his knees. He squirmed, and I nipped him, growling softly to keep him still.

Then he giggled.

It was definitely a giggle. Hardly a manly chuckle or a hearty guffaw. No, it was a bubbling pop of laughter he cut off by biting his lip and staring down at me with a barely repressed smirk. The honey gold in his eyes flashed, and Jae dropped his head back onto the pillows, his body shaking with mirth.