Dissent (31 page)

But,
hell, at least it wasn't every other fucking minute anymore.

Time
would...

“What
the fuck?” I said, still feeling a bit strange about cursing in
a place where it used to be strictly forbidden. But there was no
other way to say it. Because Fee was back again. In jeans and a
long-sleeved t-shirt, her long blonde hair pulled back. “I
don't think I saw you this much when we both lived in the city.”

“Isaiah,”
she started, her green eyes wide and guarded.

“What's
the matter? The girls? Are the girls okay?”

“The
girls are fine,” she said, holding up a hand.

“Is
it that fucking husband of your's? What did he do?”

She
smiled slightly at that. “Hunter is fine. He didn't do
anything. And stop acting all big and bad. You love him.”

“Until
he fucks you over. Then he's dead to me. What's the matter? You look
really freaked out.”

She
nodded, leaning against a tree like she wanted the support. “I
was in the city dealing with a few loose ends you left at the
company. So I was staying at your place...”

“Fee,
fucking spit it out,” I said, dropping the fish into a bucket
and wiping my hands down my pants.

“Don't
give me attitude, you fucker. I'm here for you.”

“Fee...”

“I
was staying at your apartment and I went out onto the balcony and...
Darcy was sitting on the side of the pool.”

I
felt myself start at the sound of her name and I wondered if that
would ever change. If I would ever get used to it. If it would ever
become like every other name. “So what?” I asked, trying
to slide some ice into my words because all I felt was heat inside.
“She lives there.” I went to walk into the house and
paused, turning. “Wait... she should be on tour until at least
the spring.”

“Her
tour was canceled, Isaiah.”

“That
doesn't sound like them.”

“Isaiah...
Darcy was attacked again...”

“What?”
I exploded. That was the only way to describe it, I felt like
everything inside was bursting out.

Fee
looked down at her feet. “It was bad. I mean... the news said
she wasn't in great shape, but...”

“What
happened? Who did it?” I needed to know everything.

“It
was a guy in her band,” Fee started.

“Not
Jay,” I said, shaking my head, feeling sick at the idea.

“No.
No. The drummer, Todd something.”

Todd?
Todd? Shy, prudish, reserved fucking Todd? “Fucking details,
Fee.”

“Sorry
I just... wanted to ease you into it. Um. It was after a concert in
Arizona. Darcy went back to the bus to find a cat...”

“Poe,”
I supplied, automatically, thinking about his ugly little face that
she was so sweet on.

“Yeah.
Well, she found him slaughtered on her bunk. And then Todd um...”

“What
did he do to her?” I asked, my voice seething, not wanting to
know the details, but needing to.

“He
ripped out her nipple piercings,” she said, with a visible
whole body cringe. “Then he beat her face really badly. I, ah,
when I saw her... I barely recognized her and Jay said...”

“What
else?” I asked, my hands balling into fists. “What else
did he do? Did he...”

“Rape
her?” she asked, swallowing hard. “I mean that wasn't in
the news report or anything, but one of the fans that was about to
get on the bus... they said he had her face down on the floor, her
panties ripped off and was... violently fingering her...”

“Mother
fucker!” I screamed, turning and slamming my fist into the
closest thing to me, which happened to be a very big, very hard,
tree. My knuckles broke open, bleeding slightly down my hand. I
leaned forward, resting my forehead against the tree. I needed to get
it together. “Is she okay?” I asked, my voice sounding
sadder than I had ever heard it. At Fee's silence, I turned, worried.
“Fee?”

She
reached up, running a hand over her eyebrows. “She's like...
catatonic, Isaiah,” she said, shrugging. “She is there,
but she's not. She kind of just blankly stares off into nothing. Jay
said the doctor said she's in shock and they aren't sure how long it
will last, what might snap her out of it...”

I
walked away from her, going off toward the side of the house. “Isaiah
what are you...” she started, watching me open the door to the
chicken coop, letting free the damn insufferable birds it had taken
me a month to catch and capture. “What are you doing?”

I
walked past her, going into the house, rummaging through a draw and
pulling out my wallet, tucking it into my pocket. I grabbed my shirt
off the ground outside, slipping it on. “I am going to see
her,” I said, taking off into the woods.

Fee
ran behind me, not even her long legs being able to keep up with my
punishing pace. Because I needed to get to her. I needed to see for
myself that she was alright, physically. I needed to find the best
fucking doctors in the country to care for her mentally. I needed to
get more details from Jay.

Fuck
it all. I just needed to fucking see her.

Twenty-seven

The
drive to the city felt insufferably long. Fee drove with her usual
reckless abandon, slamming on the horn. “You stupid mother
fucker. It's called a blinker!” she screamed. “Oh, great.
Yeah, cut me off and then go at a glacial pace. That's just fucking
wonderful. Yes, you, asshole.”

She
was a road rage altercation in the making.

“Sorry,”
she said, slamming her head back on the headrest at a red light. “I
get carried away. I'm not allowed to... express myself properly when
the kids are in the car. I guess it's all pent up. Isaiah,” she
said, reaching out to touch my hand right above my bloody knuckles,
“relax. It won't do her any good if you come charging back into
her life all angry and tense. She's in shock. She needs... calm.”

I
nodded. She was right. I needed to get a grip. I turned, staring out
the window. “Fee?”

“Yeah?”
she asked, looking at me sideways.

“You're...
a woman...”

She
took a twelve o'clock hold of the steering wheel, reaching down and
grabbing her boob. “It seems that way.”

I
rolled my eyes. “Is there...”

“Is
there what?” she asked, whipping the car into a sharp turn.

“Is
there a way for her to come back from this? From having him... do...
that to her?”

Fiona
took a deep breath, flicking on the blinker and pulling off onto the
shoulder. She put the car into park, turning in her seat to look at
me. “Hey,” she said, waiting for me to face her. “Don't
you dare go disrespecting her by implying that one incident in her
life is going to define her. She deserves a better opinion than that
from the man who claims to love her.”

“I
didn't claim to love her.”

“Yeah,”
she snorted, turning the car back onto the road, “okay.”

We
pulled up in front of my apartment complex a few hours later and I
pulled the door open, jumping out before the car even stopped. I
charged into the lobby, stabbing my key into the private elevator,
impatiently tapping my hand against the railing inside as it made
it's way up to the top floor.

I
charged out of the doors as soon as they opened wide enough for me to
fit through, not paying attention, and barreling into someone.

“Fuck,”
a familiar voice said, shoving at me, and I looked up to find Jay,
holding a basket of laundry. Fucking Jay, infamous womanizer rock
star, carrying a hot pink freaking laundry basket. “Wow,”
he said, nodding at me, “that was fast.”

“Where
is she?” I said, moving toward her door.

“No,
man,” he said, shaking his head.

“What
the fuck do you mean no?” I said, turning back and charging at
him.

“I
mean you fucking reek of fish,” he said, smiling slightly, “and
your hand looks like it lost a fight with a wall.”

I
looked down, dark dried blood crusting over my hand. “A tree
actually.”

Jay
nodded, almost like he understood perfectly. He probably did. “Take
a shower, get that hand bandaged up, then I'll bring you to her.”

I
nodded. He was right. I needed to clean up and calm down. I made my
way toward my door, slipping the key into the lock. “Hey Jay,”
I called, and he turned back from the elevator.

“Yeah?”

“Tell
me someone beat his face in.”

Jay
smiled, a slow, sadistic, happy smile. “Can't even recognize
the mother fucker.”

I
nodded, closing my door. “Good.”

I
took a long shower, shaved, bandaged my hand, and slipped into clean
gray slacks, a black t-shirt, and shoes. It was the first time I had
looked in the mirror in the better part of two months... or was it
longer? Hell, I didn't even friggen know. My skin was darker from all
the time in the sun, my hands full of new cuts and callouses and
scars. And I was thinner. Which wasn't a surprise given how fucking
little I had been eating, but it was still a little starling to see.

I
moved toward the balcony doors, looking out. What the hell was I even
going to say to her? Especially if she was in as bad of shape as Fee
said. I had hardly even said anything right to her when she was in a
better place. I was always sticking my fucking foot in my mouth and
being an asshole. What were the chances of me saying the right thing
then, when she needed it?

Slim
to fucking none.

But
then I saw her. Walking out onto the balcony in an oversize white
t-shirt and a pair of baggy red sweatpants. Her long hair looked
messy, unkempt, floating around her body in a tangled mess. But it
wasn't the lack of personal care that shocked me. It was her blank,
completely empty eyes, bright, in her battered face.

“Jesus
Christ,” I gasped, watching as she lowered herself down next to
the pool, putting her legs in the water, not even thinking to roll up
her pant legs.

“I
told you,” Fee said, coming up behind me.

I
looked over my shoulder at her. “What can I do?” I asked,
hearing the desperation in my voice.

Fiona
shrugged, reaching up and touching my arm briefly. “You can
just... be with her.”

I
took a deep breath, nodding, then reached and opened the door. Jay
hadn't come back from the laundry yet, but I couldn't wait any
longer. Not with her sitting there looking so alone and broken.

I
walked up toward the pool slowly. “Darcy,” I said,
quietly, like I was talking to an injured animal. Which was exactly
what she looked like.

Her
head rose, in acknowledgment. I could have sworn I saw her wince when
her eyes landed on mine.

“She's
not speaking,” another familiar voice said, one that definitely
did not belong in that setting.

Dr.
Todd.

I
looked over to where Jay was leading her out onto the balcony. “What
the hell are you doing here?”

She
smiled, almost warmly, at me. “It's nice to see you again too,
Isaiah. What did you do to your hand?”

“I
was wrestling a crocodile,” I said, dryly. “What are you
doing here?”

“Your
sister gave me her number so we could get someone here immediately to
check on Darcy,” Jay said, shrugging.

“Look,”
Dr. Todd said, sounding reasonable, “I know this is a huge
conflict of interest, but...”

“I
don't give a fuck about that. Just... fix her.”

Dr.
Todd looked over at Darcy, a sad smile playing at her lips. “I'm
afraid it's not that simple. It might be a long road for her. She's
been traumatized, Isaiah,” she said, walking over toward Darcy,
her heels clicking on the cement. She knelt down next to Darcy,
reaching out and putting an arm on her shoulder. “Hey, Darcy.
How are you doing today?” she asked, shrugging when she didn't
get a response, like she wasn't expecting one. “It's important
that we engage her like we would if she was in her normal mindset.
She can still hear us.”