Distant Heart (4 page)

“Then what's he doing here?” The girl gave a pointed nod toward Sam. “He your husband?”

“I don't have a husband.” Sam swallowed hard as Toni's frown revealed her own thoughts before she spoke, “She has a point, Sam. What were you doing out here?”

There was no disguising his actions. If only she would believe his motives. “I saw you leave camp and followed to make sure you remained safe.”

“You…watched me?” The dismay in her voice touched a tender place in Sam's heart reserved only for her. “Not like you're thinking,” he said softly. “You have my word. I averted my eyes as you disrobed and entered the water.”

The young woman holding the gun let out a snort. Toni turned on her. “Put that thing away,” she commanded. “As you can see, no one is in any danger here. At least not from Sam.”

“I reckon that settles it then.” The woman holstered her pistol. “I guess you two have everything under control.”

Sam bristled at the suggestion in her tone. He stepped forward. Toni placed a restraining hand on his arm. “Don't, Sam. I have no reputation to protect.”

“I think we'd better get back to camp,” Grant Kelley spoke for the first time. He took hold of the woman's arm. “And you can explain why you were following me in the first place.”

Sam's mind raced back over Toni's words as he watched Grant half-lead, half-drag the buckskin-wearing woman toward camp. Toni followed, only the tiniest slump in her shoulders indicating that she felt the woman's insinuation to the core.

Lord, what can I do or say to help her believe that You don't hold her past against her?

Toni said a hasty goodnight to Sam and crawled wearily into her pallet at the edge of the wagon. She'd been forced to sleep inside since the incident with the Indian. And that meant suffering the sweltering heat inside the wagon instead of under it, which she preferred. She was determined to procure a tent from someone inside the fort before they rolled westward again.

She and Fannie had agreed they would not take the Captain up on his offer of a cot in the officers' quarters. They preferred the bottom of a wagon to the whispers, stares, and deliberate snubs from the other women. Not all, of course. Sadie Barnes; Edna Stewart, who had once held out hope that Blake would marry her; and Mrs. James, whose husband had been forced to leave the wagon train after he'd thrown his lot in with the men aiming to take Toni and Fannie captive; these women treated Fannie and Toni well. A few of the other women suffered their presence, but the two friends had agreed they preferred to stick together.

The gentle breeze carried the distant strains of “I'll Take you Home Again, Kathleen” from the fort. Toni closed her eyes and imagined the dancing couples holding each other. Enjoying their respite. Unbidden, her mind reached back to the too-brief moment when Sam's arms cradled her as she wept. But there was no point in dwelling on what might have been. Especially when her curiosity rose at the thought of the young woman clad in buckskins.

She wondered about the new young woman. Even though she had barreled in and interrupted a private moment, it was difficult to be angry with someone who would have come to her rescue and would have been most welcome had the threat been real.

Still, Grant Kelley, one of the captains of the train who served as a scout alongside Sam, hadn't seemed a bit impressed with her bravery. It dawned on Toni (she had been so wrapped up in her own dilemma) that she'd never even asked the girl her name or thanked her for her rescue attempt.

 

Sam looked from Grant to the young woman dressed like a man. The battle of wills between these two would have been comical if not for the questions roaming through Sam's mind. In Blake's absence, he had a decision to make. Only, he wasn't sure exactly what that decision consisted of.

“What is your name?” he asked. “And state the reason that you defied the Captain's orders and ventured out to our camp.” Blake and the Captain had agreed at the fort that no one from the fort was allowed in their camp after nightfall.
And here this woman had disobeyed that directive the very first night.

“Ginger,” she practically spat out. “That's my name.”

“Ginger what?”

“That's my business.”

Sam nodded. “Fair enough. And your purpose for coming into camp?”

“I didn't.” She gave him a frank stare. “I was headed to the creek for a bath—I like to bathe alone at night—when I saw the woman leave and this man follow her.”

Jealousy hit Sam. Unbidden and certainly unwanted. Why would Grant follow Toni? He turned to the man with whom he had spent the last few months working side by side. “Grant?”

“If I'd known you were looking out for Toni I wouldn't have bothered. But you know you don't make a sound or leave a trail so it wasn't obvious.”

“Why not just stop her from leaving camp in the first place?” Ginger said, suspicion written all over her features—which were pleasant enough—but not as beautiful as Toni, by any stretch of the imagination. Her hair was dark. Not black, but a deep brown. Even in the light of the campfire, he noted her eyes were about as dark as her hair. If her features had been more pronounced, he might have guessed her to be part Indian. He turned to Grant for the answer to Ginger's question.

“Not that I owe you an explanation,” Grant said, scowling deeply at the young woman. He turned back to Sam. “I heard some of the women talking earlier.” He cleared his throat and darted a glance to Ginger, whose arms were folded across her
chest. “It seems Toni didn't bathe when the other women did. They seemed to be gossiping. You know how women do.” Annoyance slid across his face. “I figured she didn't want to undress in front of them and waited until everyone was gone for some privacy. Stopping her didn't seem right. So I followed her to keep an eye on her. But I thought it would be better to stay out of sight.”

“Of all the cockamamie stories.” Ginger stomped her foot and jabbed a finger toward Grant. “Are you going to believe that hogwash?”

A quick perusal of the situation brought a swift decision. “Yes. I have no reason to call this man a liar.”

“Thank you, Sam,” Grant said with a nod of acceptance. “I appreciate the confidence.”

“Fine. If you'll excuse me. I'm going back to the fort.”

“Not by yourself, you're not,” Grant said.

“Who's going to stop me?”

“I'm not stopping you, but I'm not letting you go alone either.”

Anger flashed in the woman's eyes. “You seem to make a habit of following women who'd rather be alone.”

Sam tried not to grin. It really wasn't fair to Grant considering he'd only been trying to protect Toni, just as he was bent on protecting this young woman. But he'd never seen a woman put Grant in his place before.

From the fort, the sound of the bugle announced the end of the day.

“I'm afraid it's too late for you to return to the fort tonight,” Sam said.

The young woman frowned. “What do you mean? You're keeping me here against my will?”

“No, miss,” Sam replied. “The reveille has sounded. The last of our people will be on their way back and the gate closed and locked for the night. They will not open the gate for you.”

His words seemed to silence her and she frowned as though in heavy thought. Expelling a breath, she planted her hands on her hips. “First they won't let me out, now they won't let me in.” She gave Sam a pointed stare. “Where's a lady supposed to sleep?”

Sam made a quick decision. “Grant, will you please escort Miss Ginger to Miss Sadie's tent and ask if she'd be willing to put this woman up for the night?”

Sam watched them go, pleased with himself. This solved two problems. It kept the girl from trying to leave camp and got her out of his hair. But he'd be glad to hand her back to the soldiers at the fort first thing in the morning. He had a feeling about this girl and it wasn't necessarily a good one.

 

Sleep eluded Toni. As much as she tried to force herself to relax, she knew it was futile until Fannie returned with news. Was she going to marry Blake at the fort? Her mind wandered back over the events of the night, and back to Sam's warm arms and rock hard chest. She allowed herself a few moments of weakness and dreamed of gentle caresses and whispered words of love, then pushed them firmly aside as the camp began to fill up with the travelers returning from the fort.

Finally, a knock outside the wagon alerted her to Fannie's presence. “Toni? Are you awake?”

Toni crawled to the opening in the canvas. “What are you knocking for?”

Fannie pointed to Blake, who held a sleeping child in his arms. “Katie couldn't hold her head up another minute.” Fannie gave the child a tender smile. “And you know how soundly she sleeps, so Blake carried her home. Can he come in and lay her down?”

Fingering the top of her nightgown, Toni was suddenly struck with a modesty she hadn't known she possessed. “Just a minute. Let me grab my shawl.” She draped the shawl over her shoulders and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I suppose he can come in now.” She held back the canvas flap so the wagon master wouldn't have to struggle to climb up to the canvas and crawl over the back of the wagon. Nevertheless, forced to bend low inside the cramped quarters, he stumbled, but righted himself in time to prevent sending Katie and himself tumbling to the floor.

“That pallet,” Toni said, feeling the embarrassment of being this close to a man in their very own quarters. It really wasn't decent. Even
she
knew that. And she hadn't been faced with the situation in months. A thrill rose inside of her at the thought that she never again had to entertain a man's presence.

Blake kept his gaze averted from Toni and carefully lowered Katie to the pallet and then cleared his throat. “Night, Toni. Sorry to bother you.”

“No bother.”

Fannie, who had remained outside, poked her head in. “I'll be there in a minute,” she said to Toni.

Toni nodded and closed the canvas flap in order to give her friend some privacy. She heard the low tones of an intimate conversation and then silence. They must be sharing a goodnight kiss. Toni smiled. And just earlier today, Fannie had been on the verge of calling the whole thing off. Thank goodness the girl had come to her senses. Blake wasn't always the most sensitive of men, but it was clear he loved Fannie a great deal.

A few more minutes passed and finally Fannie returned. “How was the celebration at the fort?” Toni asked, practically pouncing on the chance for conversation with her dearest friend. She couldn't wait to tell Fannie about her swim and Sam rescuing her after the snake swam across her legs.

But one look at Fannie's face and Toni knew her friend needed to talk about something much more important.

“Well?” Toni asked, her patience scarcely allowing for Fannie to change into her bed clothes. Fannie's hands trembled as she worked the buttons on the blue dress, but her eyes shone.

“The scouts were right. There's a preacher at the fort.”

“Is Blake speaking with him?”

She nodded and slid onto her pallet, lying on top of the covers. “He already did.” Taking a quick, deep breath, she lay on her side, head resting in the palm of her hand. “Tomorrow is the day. The Captain said we can hold another dance and he's arranged for Blake and me to have private quarters for the rest of our stopover.”

“Fannie, that's wonderful.” And it truly was wonderful. Only a twinge of regret pinched Toni's heart now that the plans had indeed been made.

“Blake is purchasing a wagon and team.”

“I assumed he would.” Toni tried to keep the tremble from her voice.

“Do you know what that means?”

Toni turned on her side, facing Fannie and rested her head in her own palm. “You'll be driving your wagon since Blake has to ride on horseback.”

Fannie nodded. “Are you going to be all right driving the wagon alone every day?”

“I'll be fine.” But she wasn't sure she would be. There would be no one to take over when she needed to walk, no one to talk to…Toni hated things to change. As happy as she was for her friend, she was beginning to see her future for what it was. Alone on the trail, and once they reached Oregon she'd be alone for the rest of her life. She knew Blake would not allow Fannie to be her friend once they arrived at their destination. It would bring too much shame to their home. Tears burned her eyes. She brushed them away quickly.

As though reading her thoughts, Fannie sat up and reached for Toni's hand. “The right man will find his way to you, Toni.”

A short laugh escaped Toni's lips. “There is no right man out there for me.”

“What about Sam?”

At her friend's words, Toni once again relived the mo
ments of comfort in Sam's arms. But it was useless. “Oh, Fannie. We've discussed this before. Sam's first love is God. A woman like me could never be good enough. He deserves someone…better. Pure.”

“But…”

Toni slid her hand away from Fannie's. “Let's not discuss this. I'd rather talk about tomorrow and how lovely you're going to look in your new wedding gown.”

“Oh, Toni. I wish…”

“Don't wish, Fannie. I'm resigned to knowing I'll be alone forever.”

“Blake says there are several men to every one woman in Oregon. Surely you could find a man.”

“Goodness, Fannie. I'd rather be alone than marry a man that settled for me just because he needs a wife.”

“I suppose you're right. Still, some women think it's better to have any husband than no husband at all.”

“Well, I'm not one of them,” Toni replied flatly. “Truly, if I can set up a business for myself and take in sewing for a living, I'll make do just fine.” And she truly would. Anything was better than going back to the life she had led. Oh, she knew people thought she'd end up at the first brothel she came to. But they didn't know her. Never again.