“Well, we’ll see if we can’t do something about that.”
The momentary gap in conversation wasn’t awkward at all, rather pleasant, as if just being in the kitchen together, feeling her presence, was more than enough.
“You like to cook?” The red juice from the severed chucks of tomato oozed across her fingers
“Use too. For one person, it can be a lonely experience. I don’t go all out, like this, as much as I’d like.”
“I’d think with your black book, you’d want to show off your skills in the kitchen to all your dates.”
“What makes you think I have a black book?”
Lilah paused and rotated her glance. “Well, don’t you?”
“I date on occasion but nothing serious.”
“How come? Not into long term relationships?”
“I know women think all men dream of playing the field, but there are a few of us that search for more.”
“Like what exactly?
“The one.”
“Meaning?”
“I want a single traveler to experience my days and nights, Lilah. I always have, just haven’t been very successful at finding her. I made a mistake once; don’t want to go through that pain again. Beside, you’re the first woman I’ve cooked for in years.”
“Why’s that?”
This time he stopped and turned to face his date. “Good question. I guess—just haven’t felt the buzz for a long time.”
“The buzz?”
“You know. The way your mind races at the possibilities, your body pulses at what might be, even your heart flitters when you’re around someone that makes you feel different, as if, maybe there’s a chance for more.”
“Wow. I’ve never heard a man talk like that before.” She stole a peek through her hair. “Yes, I know exactly what you mean.”
“I miss having someone to spend mate moments with.”
She completely turned around this time. “Mate moments?”
“The conversations together, the events where you do special things as a team, like that craft show, or like now, working in the kitchen with someone whose presence you enjoy. In the beginning of my marriage, Helen and I had some good times together, before we drifted apart. As newlyweds, I’d cook for her all the time, then she just seemed to lose interest in me.”
“Hard to believe anyone could not find you…interesting. Do you know what happened?”
“Part of it was my job. As a navy pilot, I was assigned to flight ops off carriers in theater a lot. The long, six-month tours apart tend to take a toll on marriages. She grew distant, happy to exist on her own without the encumbrance of a husband around. Plus, she was looking for things I couldn’t provide.”
“Like what?”
“Let’s just say she was into a higher social standard. She was a rather famous lawyer, a tabloid icon, and the glory became more important to her than maintaining her marriage to a virtual nobody. She didn’t understand how I could hate the publicity, the glamour, and rubbing elbows with the rich and famous.”
Her face grew ashen, and he wondered what he’d said to cause her to lose color. She stared at her plate. “Shallow woman, and a fool to match.”
“What about you? Married before?” His eyes searched hers for answers.
“Yes, once.”
“And?”
“Like you, I didn’t meet all my spouse’s appetites.” She turned quiet for a moment before he offered. “Shallow man, and a fool to match.”
A slice of carrot shot across the room and they shared a mild chuckle. Reece reached down, picked up the debris and tossed it in the sink. “Ever think of jumping into the fire again?”
“I – Sometimes. And you?”
“Sometimes.”
The sauce was ready, but he didn’t want the exchange to end. Her form moving in rhythm to the music, the shape of her body swaying beneath the flowing dress; every motion conveyed the wonder of true feminine charm. He sighed at the profound sensations stirring his heart, as if the gods had reached down and blessed mankind with these strange yet remarkable, and vulnerable creatures; their very essence, their shape, the inner sparkle reflected only through the eyes of a woman.
God I miss this.
Sixteen
Lilah worked around the edge of her plate, rolling the massive link of sausage through the glob of spicy rich, red sauce. When he’d talked of his ex-wife being famous, a weight settled upon her spirit. She should tell him her real name, confess her identity, but she feared his reaction now that he’d talked about how he hated the notoriety.
“Don’t you like it?” Reece sliced another one-inch section of his
sausage and tossed it into his gullet.
What could she say? “I’ve never had pasta this tasty, not even from my mother, and she was an unbelievable cook.”
“Too much?”
“A bit.”
“That’s why I let you serve yourself. I know you girls prefer to nibble like little birds.”
“It’s not a case of like; it’s a matter of survival.” She latched on to his assumed reason for her sudden loss of appetite. “If I ate as much as you, well, trust me, you wouldn’t enjoy the result of such a folly.”
He smiled and speared one of her meatballs. “Let me help you out. I don’t want you feeling guilty for not eating what’s on your plate. I just appreciate you sharing the meal with me.”
She smiled, feeling calmer. “Do you enjoy flying?”
“Yes, I love it, but not as much as before.”
“Before what?”
“There’s much more freedom as a military pilot once you get away from the ship. Out at sea, things aren’t as restrictive as operating in the states.”
“You mean the FAA regulations?”
“No, those are necessary for safety. I understand that. But working for a small airline, struggling each day to make a profit; it’s very mechanized. Hurry, hurry, all the time. With the economy being screwed by the politicians in DC, people can’t travel like they were. They’ve cut my hours down significantly, and when I am scheduled, I no sooner hit the ground, and they want me back in the air.”
“Sorry to hear that.”
“Someday way off in the future, I hope to start my own small charter service. Problem is money, but I’m working toward it, developing contacts with as many passengers and business professionals as I can.”
“I bet you get to make a lot of friends in your job.”
“Some.”
Her lips quirked to one side. “And the stewardesses, get to meet some very interesting ladies, right?”
He cast a confused glance her way. “Oh, the black book thing again, right?”
A man as gorgeous as this one had to have a lot of girlfriends he could call on at a moment’s notice. He was a man after all and all men had appetites. So why the sudden surge of jealously? She continued to play with the remaining crouton in her salad bowl then lifted her eyes gradually to his face.
He leaned back into his chair. “I apologize. I didn’t mean to stare. It’s just…”
“What? Go ahead, Reece, please.”
“I’m trying to fathom how any husband would not cherish every moment with you by his side. Doesn’t make sense. I mean, what more could a man want in life than you.”
She swallowed the remnant of garlic bread stuck in her throat then took two sips of wine to drown the flush rushing across her body, but it only made it worse.
Reece must have sensed her difficulty and lightly tapped her back. “You okay?”
“Yes. I was just considering what you said. I, too, have toyed with those exact thoughts, I mean about your wife. I guess some never know what they have, not even when it’s gone.”
“There’s a word for that.”
“Yeah?” she asked.
“The technical term is cognitive denial. I call it sheer ass blindness.”
They shared an honest grin.
Why was I so afraid to come tonight?
Lilah’s inner voice blurted the truth.
Because you’ve forgotten what it can be like with a man that makes you feel special.
Now would be a good time to confide in him, to let him know her difficulties.
“Can I share a secret?”
He placed his fork on the plate. “Oh, I love secrets, and mysteries.”
“Mysteries?”
He pointed at the book shelve crammed with suspense and thriller novels. “Sure. When I was a kid, the times when I’d hide in the tool shed, I’d pretend to be a private eye solving some murder case. Always took me away from stuff I was dealing with at the moment.”
“What kind of stuff?”
His large chest expanded and those blue-castled eyes shut down, as if to redirect her attempted probe.
“Just kid things. Especially loved to sit out there in a storm. The rhythm of rain drops drumming their soothing melody against the tin roof. Just kind of washed away the bad crap.”
She sat back basking in his wholesome tales. A man like Reece would make any woman a wonderful husband, mate. He was a handsome alluring male, confident, strong, yet compassionate, while on the inside, a young boy harboring childhood wounds. Conflicted, she sought to settle the raging emotions flowing through her. The woman within wanted more; to touch, taste, and come alive beneath his raw masculinity. Yet her maternal instinct cried out to hold the boy still trapped inside and smooth the broken edges of his foundation.
“So what’s the secret?”
“Oh, yeah.” Lilah sipped another mouth full of wine, knowing it was just too soon to reveal the demons she carried with her. “I almost didn’t come tonight?”
“Why? Aren’t you enjoying our time together?”
She ventured forth a touch of his hand. “Oh, God no. I don’t mean it that way. Our time together has been wonderful.”
“Then why?”
“I was a bit afraid.”
“Of what?”
“Of you, but mostly of me.”
“Why?”
“I…” She stared at his large, tapered hands, feeling inept. How could she explain her troubled feelings without sounding like a candidate for the loony bin? “We only shared a day and already I’m feeling as if I’ve known you forever, as if…”
“I’m feeling the same. I don’t see how that’s such a bad thing.”
“Yes, but I’m – It’s all going so fast.”
“Take a deep breath. I’m not going to devour you if that’s what has you worried.”
“Hardly.” Two more sips calmed her somewhat. “I just don’t want you to get the wrong idea…I mean, I know it’s early…I don’t know how to say it.”
He fondled the full length of each finger, one by one, up and down, with soft but deliberate strokes, the kind meant to tease yet soothe. “We’re not in a hurry, Lilah. Take your time.”
“That’s the problem, Reece. I need time. Lots of it, but I don’t want to chase you away with all my, with all the complexities in my life.”