Distinction: The Distraction Trilogy #3 (17 page)

My dad is calling me again but I don’t answer. I can’t speak to him right now, or ever for that matter. He doesn’t know that I know what happened. Nobody knows. Not even Hayley knows what’s going on.

It’s a heavy weight to bear on my shoulders but I haven’t yet decided how I feel about it. As soon as I figure that out, hopefully I’ll come to a decision on how to deal with it all.

Or that’s my plan at least.

Fortunately since it happened I haven’t seen much of anybody. I’ve been working hard at the inn, which is coming along beautifully, and I’ve been working hard in the nightclub where I took a job to keep the cash flowing.

Everything is so fast paced now that I’m out of university. Time is flying and I don’t know what I’m going to do next.

I’ve become obsessed with thinking about my future. It’s not healthy, the stress I’m putting on myself, but at the moment I’ve got a ton of money going out and not much coming in. This is why I’m glad Silas is my partner in all of this. If it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have been able to buy the inn in the first place.

My phone rings again and I pick it up, even though I don’t recognise the number.

“Hello?”

“Hi, can I please speak to a Miss Eloise Blackburn?” A gruff male voice asks politely; his accent definitely holds a Scottish edge to it.

“Speaking.”

“Excellent.” He clears his throat and I hear the phone rattle. “I’m calling with regard to the application you put forward to work alongside Professor Matterson.” My heart skips a beat. “Unfortunately we can’t offer you a position on his team at this point in time…” My heart just broke. “But we would like to offer you the opportunity to work alongside Gregory Hamish. We feel that your particular talents would better suit his vision. You were the first candidate for Matterson’s project and your University Professor has spoken very highly of you, but your work just doesn’t fit with his style.”

“I… I don’t know what to say.” I can’t believe this. “Gregory Hamish…
The
Gregory Hamish?”

“You’re a fan?”

“A
huge
fan. This is such an honour.” I run my fingers through my fringe before gripping it tight. The pain reminds me that I’m not dreaming.

“I’m glad you think so. I’ll email you the details right away.”

“Thank you so much. This is amazing! I didn’t realise Mr Hamish had an apprenticeship available or I would have applied.”

“He didn’t. Professor Matterson called in a favour.”

I should thank him somehow in the near future.

“I’ve sent the information over. If you give it a read and then email or call me with your response within the week, that would be brilliant.”

“I will.” I don’t even need to see the information to agree. “Thank you.”

“Take care.”

“You too.”

As soon as the call is disconnected I scream and I jump, startling the men working on the windows behind me. I don’t stop, even when Silas comes racing in. I grab his shoulders and keep on screaming.

I’ve never been so bored in my entire life. I’m so bored I went out and bought a games console but have yet to figure out how to make it work. I’m not that old am I?

The summer holidays need to end tomorrow. I can’t take four more weeks of shuffling back and forth between Boston and Lily Hill just to occupy myself.

I’m also kind of glad that I’m bored though; it means there’s no drama. My mum isn’t doing great but she’s better than she was.

Speaking of which…

I pick up the spoon she just threw at me. “Mum. Really?”

Where does she keep getting these from?

I’m startled when Eloise comes into view looking beautiful in a grey, floating summer dress that stops above her knees. A cardigan hangs loosely from her elbows and sunglasses rest on top of her head.

I watch as my mum instantly moves to her and wraps her in a tight hug. She kisses her cheek multiple times before releasing the red head, picking up a plastic cup off the table and throwing that at me too. The entire time she mutters about trains and hopscotch under her breath.

Eloise smiles but it doesn’t meet her eyes.

“She can be so funny.” I say, eyeing her warily. Then I add, “She hates me.” Elle doesn’t respond and my hands begin to sweat. She mutters to my mother and they both smile at each other. “Well, she loves you.” I throw the cup at her and it bounces off her ample cleavage. It was probably not the best or most mature of ideas, but at least she reacted to my presence with a glare.

“You look lovely.”

“You have rice pudding on your trouser leg.”

“You can thank my mother for that one,” I sigh and wipe at it with a napkin. She doesn’t even consume food. I don’t know where she got the spoon from but she’s always finding them. “I didn’t realise you were coming today.”

“I wasn’t supposed to be or I would have called ahead, but Hayley needs me to check the dress fitting and order the flowers from the florist in town so I thought I’d stop by.” She stares across the room, her teeth worrying her lower lip. Now that my mum has settled we both also settle into an uncomfortable silence.

“Is everything okay?”

Her eyes cut to me, the green sparkling with a frostiness I’m certain she’s never directed my way before. “Fine.”

Oh no. That word. I fucking hate that word. “Elle…”

“I should go.”

My body tenses. “Don’t.”

“I don’t know how to be around you.” Her admission breaks my heart.

“Is this about what I told you?” Her answering shrug confirms my assumption. “I’m sorry, you have no idea how sorry, but I thought you knew that? I thought we were okay.”

“Okay?” She asks incredulously. “My entire marriage ended up being a fucking joke. Not only have I lost my husband because of the men in my life, but I’ve also lost my dad, my mum, my family home, my marital home…”

“I know.” And hearing her say out loud just how bad of an effect I’ve had on her life makes me hate myself so much more. “I’m sorry.”

“If you’d just come to me,” she hisses, shaking her head angrily. “If you’d just been the man you promised me you’d be, we wouldn’t have…
you
wouldn’t have…” Her palms hit her thighs. “I can’t talk about this. Not here.”

“I’m not that man anymore. I’ve changed.”

She scoffs, clearly disbelieving me.

“I swear it. I lost my way for a while.” I take her hand and bring it to my lips before pressing my forehead to her knuckles. “If I can ask for just one more chance from you. Just one. Let me prove myself.” I bring our hands down and stare into her eyes. “Let me prove to you that I can at least be a decent person. A decent friend.”

Something shifts in her; her shoulders sag and her chest deflates. She pulls her hand free and sighs deeply.

I take this as permission to try and lighten the situation and attempt to change the subject. “How has everything been since graduation?” I’m an idiot.

“Surprisingly good. I start an apprenticeship with Gregory Hamish in three months.” Her lips twitch and I feel the energy around her slowly twist into something more positive.

“Who?”

She blinks as though I’m crazy and I hope he’s not somebody she’s told me about before and I’ve simply forgotten. That isn’t going to score me any points right now. “He’s a legend in the world of architecture. He restores old buildings and transforms them.” I listen intently as she describes and shows me the buildings he’s done and how it is she came to suddenly be in his employ.

I’m so proud of her. “You’re amazing, Elle. Proof that hard work pays off.”

“Thanks.” She looks so young when she smiles like that. “I’m so excited. I’ll be going up to Scotland for a while.”

“That’s amazing.” I place my hand over hers and smile warmly at her. Our eyes meet and I feel as if I’m being sucked back in time. The urge to lean forward and kiss those perfect, plump lips is overwhelming. But then I remember where I am and what we are to each other and I especially focus on everything that has transpired between us. Which brings me to another matter… Jocelyn. I should cancel on her to avoid this with Elle, but if I want to show Elle that I can change, I need to start moving on.

“I umm…” I remove my hand from hers. “I have something to ask you, while you’re here.” I’m screwing this up already. I’m going to push her away. I mentally slap myself. “Well, not ask, but tell.”

“Go on.” She relaxes back in her chair and eyes me as warily as I’m eyeing her. “Is everything okay?”

“It’s about Hayley’s wedding.”

The shutters come down in her eyes, locking away all emotion. She nods. I gulp.

“Would you be upset if I was to attend… with Jocelyn?”

Her lips part and I see her hands twitch but her voice is steady when she speaks. “You two are together?”

“Well not really; we went to dinner the day after the dress fitting.” I bite on my lip and assess her blank face. She’s being careful not to react. I hate that. Part of me wants to see her envy, if she has any. I’m sick for wanting that, I know I am, but I can’t help it. “We’ve spoken over the phone a few times since.”

“Why are you telling me this?”

“I don’t want to cause you any unnecessary stress. If it’s upsetting for you, just say and I won’t go at all.”

“Upsetting?” Her brows hit her hairline. “Why would it be upsetting? It’s fine. Date who you want.”

“You’re sure? Because you’re saying one thing and your tone is saying another.”

“I’m not bothered,” she states, though she’s frowning. “I don’t care. Do what you want.”

“And it won’t be weird for you?”

“Isaac,” blowing out a breath, she leans forward. “I’m with Silas now. He’ll be there. It’s not going to be weird unless we make it weird.”

Of course he is. “Good, because I’m actually looking forward to it.”

Her smile is soft and reassuring. I think she’s probably envious but, in reality, what I do doesn’t matter to her anymore. She’s moved on. This makes me happy and sad all at once. Happy because I want her to be happy and she seems it, despite everything, and sad because she loved me so desperately once that I never thought we’d be here.

She stands, smoothes down her dress and hooks her cardigan over one elbow. “I should go.”

“Don’t rush off because of me.”

“I’m not. I’ve got to meet Hayley. I’d invite you but you’d be bored out of your mind. Hell… I’m not even there yet and already I’m grinding my teeth.” I’m surprised when she wraps an arm around my neck and brings her body flush to mine. Feeling every soft inch of her against me sends painful tingles around by body. I place a hand on her hip, not daring to move for fear that I’ll walk out of here with a raging hard on.

Grannies and dying bunnies. Bathing in ice. Naked men. Hairy beast men in a sauna naked. Naked donkeys. Shaved lemurs. FUCK! Rhubarb… long legs… pulsing, warming, clenching as she...

She finally releases me but the damage is done.

“Try to have fun.” I croak, my voice strained.

“Thank you.”

My face feels warm. All I can picture in my mind is her, sinking onto me, grinding against me. The burning tingles she’d create were so powerful they could unman me. I need…

“See you later.” She gives me a little wave and turns. I stare at the outline of her arse underneath that thin dress and wonder if she’s wearing a thong.

I’m married to this goddess. Fucking married to her and I can’t just go over to her, rip it up and plunge my cock inside until we’re both satisfied.

It seems so unfair.

She turns just as I finish adjusting myself in my trousers. I stand ramrod straight and hope she doesn’t see through me. “I like this.”

“What?” Please… just go so I can leave and go home and make myself feel better.

“This.” She motions between us both. “I feel like we’re getting back to how we were before we complicated things all those years ago.”

I don’t know what to say so I simply nod. Does she truly not know that I don’t want to be just her friend? Does she think that I’ll be able to just go back to how everything was with ease? Sure I’m handling it well right now, but for the sake of my father and mother more than anything. It wouldn’t do anybody any good if I told her that I can’t see her. It hurts, physically and emotionally, to look at her, be near her, knowing that even though we’re married I can’t touch her, hold her, kiss those luscious lips.

No, I’m resolute. We need to stop bumping into each other like this. We need to stop acting like friends. As of right now, save for Hayley’s wedding, I’m going to avoid her. Hopefully then the ache in my chest will dissipate and maybe, just maybe, I’ll be able to move on. “Bye, Elle.”

Finally, she turns and leaves, signing out at the nurses’ station as she goes.

Silas helps me down from the ladder and wipes a speckle of paint from my nose. “It looks amazing.”

He’s right, it truly does.

I stare around the lobby which is finally only a step or two away from being finished. The rest of the inn is still being worked on but for now I can celebrate this small victory.

“I have great taste,” I boast and squeal when he grabs me around the neck and slams his lips down onto mine.

“I can’t wait until we can christen every single room in this house with our naked bodies.”

“I heard that!” One of the joiners yells. My uncle's gift to me was two of his work men, free of charge. I couldn’t afford to not accept. Because of him, we’ve pushed the finish date forward by three weeks. “I’m telling your uncle.”

“I’ll poison your tea,” Silas shouts back, making him laugh loudly. He dips his head and kisses me again. “Speaking of which…”

I watch him head towards the kitchen area to make drinks and smile at his back.

Hayley
:
I’m getting married in six weeks. I can’t cope. I’m too excited.

Eloise
:
I bet you are. And your hen night is in five weeks, ;-)

Hayley
:
Yay! What are you up to right now?

Eloise
:
I just finished painting the ceiling in the lobby. You?

Hayley
:
Darn… I was hoping you’d drive to see me for the night.

Eloise
:
Sorry, my lovely, but I’m working and I’ve got plans with Kira afterwards.

Hayley
:
Booooo!!!

Eloise
:
Shut it, woman. I’ve got to get back to work. I love you! <3

Hayley
:
You don’t know what love is! Love is skipping work to assist your mentally deranged friend in eating a tub of ice cream and bitching about boys.

Eloise
:
Don’t call Kira mentally deranged…

Hayley
:
Awwwwwww I’m telling her you said that!!!

I laugh and tuck my phone away, but only for a moment as another text comes through. Silas finally seems to have finished making drinks.

Yay.

Dad
:
We haven’t spoken in a few weeks. I’m worried. Are you avoiding me?

“Frowning like that will give you wrinkles,” Silas says as I switch off my phone and drain the rest of my lemonade. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I still have yet to speak to him or anybody about what my father did to me. I just don’t know how to process it all. “My phone just crashed is all.”

And suddenly I’m lying. I hate liars. I’m becoming what I hate.

“I did tell you that brand is shit,” he points out and wraps me in his arms.

“I have so much to do.” I pull free and nod to the other room. “You need to go around and measure all of the windows now they’ve been fitted.”

He salutes and pulls a notebook and pen from his back pocket. “Yes, Mistress.” But then he doubles back a few minutes later with his phone in his hand and a sour look on his face. “I don’t know how he got my number, but it’s your dad.”

Bollocks.

I take the phone and bring it to my ear. “Yeah?”

“Yeah?” My dad scoffs. “Are you ignoring me?”

“I don’t know… should I be ignoring you?” I can’t help it. Just hearing his voice makes me angry and sick. His betrayal still boils my blood.

“I hope not,” he chuckles, clearly not hearing my sour tone. “I miss my daughter. Can I see you?”

“I’m actually really busy this week. I’m at the…”

“Inn, I know, I know. I was thinking of coming up there to see you the day after tomorrow? I’ll bring lunch.”

“I’ll pass. I don’t need the distraction.” I say coldly.

He pauses. “Are we… are we okay, Elle?”

“No.” I shake my head, too caught up in my fury to remember that he can’t see me. “Not at all, dad.”

The phone rattles and I can just imagine him sitting up and resting his elbows on his knees. I can imagine the frown of concern marring his features. “Why?”

“I think you already know why… Did you think I’d never find out?”

Clearing his throat, he pauses for an even longer moment than before. “Find out what, exactly?”

“How many things are there for me to find out that you’d even need to ask that question?”

“Elle…” I hang up before he can finish and hand the phone back to a gaping Silas.

“What just happened?” He asks, frowning deeper than I was when I received my dad’s text.

“Nothing.”

“That didn’t look like nothing.”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now. I need to get ready to go.”

“Elle,” he practically begs and wraps his fingers around my wrist. “What’s going on with you? You never talk to me?”

How can I tell him though? For one, I really don’t want to talk about it and two, I don’t want him to think I still have feelings for Isaac.

“I don’t know how to tell you.” I admit and hate that my eyes begin to blur with unshed tears. “You probably won’t understand.”

His large, warm hand cups my cheek. “Try me.”

Exhaling and inhaling to clear my head, I nod and finally begin. I let it out, every part of it. I tell him everything from the beginning to the end. I tell him about Isaac’s gambling and how we fell apart. I tell him about how I thought Isaac had cheated but didn’t and how he sold our relationship to my dad.

The entire time he sits, listens and strokes my back, my face, my arm, anywhere his fingers can reach. By the end I’m a mess and he’s cradling me in his arms.

But I feel good.

I feel better.

A weight is suddenly gone from my shoulders.

“I love you, Elle. We’ll get past this. Your dad is a prick.”

That he is.

“Isaac too.”

“He was but he’s changed. I can see that.” I definitely can see that. He’s not as happy as he once was, but he’s more mature. He’s grown as a man and a person.

“I still don’t like him,” Silas grits.

“He’s my ex; I’d be surprised if you
did
like him.”

“Let’s go home,” he says softly, changing the conversation.

We say goodbye to the workmen and women and climb into his car.

I honestly can’t wait for ice cream with Kira. Truly I can’t.