Authors: Robin Mellom
I decided the best approach was a direct one. Answer her question honestly and keep good posture. “Yes,” I said, as I pul ed my shoulders back. “I
dyed
them.” Al yson tilted her head. Brianna laughed and said, “So you thought the prom theme was an Easter egg hunt?” Which I’m sure she said for Al yson’s enjoyment, since she was the head of the prom planning committee. And that 81
meant Al yson took al of this way too seriously.
I wished Hailey was standing there with me. She’d roll and deflect and make these girls run away crying about their own shoes. I wanted to confront them—tel them they were rude and stuck-up. But no, I ended up babbling on with details of my Highly Involved Mother Horror Story and how it was her idea for me to wear matching shoes, trying to get their sympathy, I guess.
Brianna stared at me blankly. “Um, gasp?” Everyone laughed.
Time to get even more direct.
“At least they match my
dress
. Not another person.” I looked straight at their matching feet.
Al yson stepped back, probably shocked at my direct comment. Hel , I was shocked by my direct comment.
“They’re Jimmy Choos,” she said.
“They’re not even yours?” I tried to play dumb.
Brianna tightened her lips. “No. That’s the designer.” She lifted her dress to make sure I could see them in their entirety. “These are four hundred and fifty dol ar shoes.” I had no comeback. I was talking to girls who were wearing shoes that cost as much as a car payment. I desperately needed Ian. He was always quick with the witty replies. But he was nowhere in the vicinity.
Al yson squinted at me. “Who are you looking for?”
Direct. Keep being direct. Don’t back down. This wil al be
over soon, and you can move on to the kissing part of the night
82
without having to resort to rude remarks.
“I’m trying to find Ian.”
The vision of Ian and Al yson at the Sadie Hawkins Dance popped into my head, and al I could do was stare at her lips. The ones he said he’d stared at the whole night.
Al yson perked up. “Ian. Ian
Clark
?”
“Yeah, he’s my—”
“Where is he?” Al yson turned to Brianna. “I
have
to talk to him.”
My voice cracked. “But we’re—”
It was too late. Al yson waltzed out of the kitchen in pursuit of Ian. Brianna stepped up to me. “By the way . . .
love
the matching rose.”
She spoke sarcasm with an accent of evil.
But I had a sense of sarcasm too. Not highly developed, but it was there.
I touched a petal on my corsage and said. “Thanks. I hope the Easter Bunny likes it.” She had a confused look on her face when I pushed past her.
Al yson had to be stopped. Why was she suddenly looking for Ian? Of al the guys she could go for, why
him
?
He’d turned her down. It was over! Wel , maybe he didn’t reject her, but it’s not like he
pursued
her. That’s practical y the same thing! What was she doing?! I quickly weighed the consequences of running up behind her and dragging her out of there by her ridiculous fake ponytail.
The consequences didn’t real y seem al that awful, so I 83
trailed behind her on her way out to the pool. But just as I reached out for her hair, my cruise-ship-size foot got caught on the hem of my dress. I tripped and landed in a bed of pansies. Looking up, I saw Al yson stil charging ahead—
headed right for Ian. She didn’t even notice me on the ground in a pitiful heap.
“Dude, what the—?” Other Mike helped me up off the ground. Then Mike swooped in on the other side and guided me by my elbow. “No more walking solo for you, Sweetness.
These are dangerous times, and you need shelter.” He was so obscure. But total y helpful.
As soon as I made my way out of the pansy bed, I turned to the Mikes. “Thanks, guys. I can walk a straight line now.
My coordination is back. I’ll be sure to, you know, seek shelter.”
“Solid.” The Mikes gave each other a high five, like they were proud of their duo rescue effort. And that’s when two girls came running outside toward us.
“Ladies!” Mike twirled, showing off his surprisingly good balance. The girls squealed and hugged them. It was cute.
But they weren’t Huntington High girls—they were Ledbetter girls. Both of them were wearing black-and-white dresses, almost matching but not quite, each with different animal prints. Cheetah? Snow leopard? And both of their gowns were backless.
Completely
backless. One wrong move and someone could have a viral video on the Internet.
They both looked me over—they were up-and-down 84
not-so-friendly looks. So when the Mikes started kissing them with lots of tongue action, I quickly moved on.
The pool was the shape of a kidney, and beautiful people were wrapped around its edge. I turned and sucked in my bel y, squeezing past wel -dressed bodies, maneuvering my way out to the hot tub area, al the while fantasizing about pushing Al yson into that kidney pool. But I decided there would be a higher probability of me going in rather than her, so I decided against it. For the time being.
Hailey was on the far side of the pool with Dan getting warm by an outdoor heater, so I walked on by myself and scoped out the hot tub. I wanted to get a good feeling for where I might stand when I planted it on him. Facing the house? The back fence?
As I moved around, I spotted Ian. He was on the far side of the pool talking to Al yson next to a potted palm. Talking to Al yson? Next to a potted palm? I was not about to walk over to that side of the pool and engage in Moment of Lip Lock Bliss next to a
potted palm
.
Al yson was waving her arms around, talking in a frenzy, and Ian was inching away from her little by little. I could tell he was trying to get out of the conversation, but he was also the nicest guy on the planet. If someone wanted to talk to him, he was al ears.
Surely there was nothing more to this than basic peer interaction. I mean, he was entitled to talk to other girls. I didn’t own him.
85
My stomach growled at me.
That’s what this was about—low blood sugar. I was just being irrational because I was snack-deprived.
I took in a deep breath, let it out, and gave my growling stomach a pep talk about being patient, then got back to planning for The Moment of Lip Lock Bliss.
I paced back and forth, and when I found the right spot, I realized I was able to see everyone—Ian, Al yson, Hailey, (not Dan—he must’ve wandered off ), and that meant they could al see
me
. This private spot was not going to al ow for a private kiss with Ian.
But maybe I wanted it to be a little public. Maybe when Al yson saw me plant one on Ian, she’d go tel her stupid stories to her own boyfriend—not mine. Or soon to be mine.
“Green Jel -O?” Dan approached carrying another tray ful of shots.
“No. But you’re buzzed. Maybe you should take it easy.
Hailey wil want you to remember this night.” I motioned toward her. “Doesn’t she look gorgeous?”
“Yeah. I guess.” He shrugged without even looking her way. “The eyelashes are freaking me out, though. She looks like a spider.”
“Dan!”
He laughed and almost fel over, but caught himself just in time so he wouldn’t spil the shots of Jel -O.
“Don’t you feel kind of . . . you know . . . like maybe you 86
should take your friendship to the next level?” I asked, trying to be leading. And probably sounding obvious.
“The next level of friendship would make her my sister.
But that ain’t gonna happen.” He was slurring his words.
“We’l just have to settle for carpool buddies.” It hit me that he was acting like this because Hailey had turned him down. He probably felt he had to pretend it didn’t bother him. I almost wanted to reach out and give him a hug—I felt sorry for him. Because I knew if Ian turned me down in the next few minutes, I couldn’t say I wouldn’t do the same thing.
He put his hand on my shoulder, mostly to help him steady his balance, but also so he could make his point very clear. “Look, I need your help.”
“With?”
“Making someone jealous.”
“Hailey doesn’t get jealous. She’s too awesome for that.”
“Not her. Al yson Moore.”
“You’re confusing me.”
“Girls only want what they can’t have. If Al yson thinks you’re after me, she’l want me.”
“No. You’re wrong. That’s not how these things work.
Girls like guys who—”
“Nah, they want a reason to get jealous. It’s al like biological. Their DNA has a jealousy strand, or something.” I shook my head even though I wasn’t entirely sure he was wrong. “But you’re here with Hailey. Who is standing 87
over there watching us, by the way. And I’m here with Ian.”
“But everybody knows Hailey and I are just friends.
There’s nothing that would make Al yson jealous. But if
you
kiss me, her jealousy strands wil act up. She’s sooo hot!
Wil you just let me give you a kiss? No tongue, just lip.” He sighed, looking impatient. “Or maybe a little tongue to make it authentic?”
“What? This doesn’t even make sense!” I threw my hands back, not realizing that at that very moment Dan’s father was walking by with a tray of sushi and dumplings with extra dipping sauce.
The bowl of soy sauce crashed to the ground and splattered on my dress, just above my knee.
“I’m so sorry, Justina!” His dad set the tray down.
“It’s okay, Dad. I’l help her clean it off.” Dan covered his mouth when he talked, clearly attempting to block his vodka breath. His dad smiled, picked up the tray, and walked on, probably enjoying the role of Gracious Host In Sweater, but not wanting to be involved in the messy parts.
So once again, I had a guy on his knees rubbing a spot off my dress. But Dan wasn’t doing a very good job—he kept looking around. And clearly not for Hailey.
Dan was so buzzed he could barely focus on the stain—
he kept scrubbing my kneecap with his sleeve.
“Forget it,” I said. “The stupid dress is already ruined.” Dan stood up to face me. “Please. Just kiss me.” 88
“So Al yson can watch? That is creepy!”
“She’s right over there talking to Ian. It’s perfect. We’ll get ’em both jealous.”
I popped up on my toes to get a glimpse of Al yson—
just like I had at her fourth grade birthday party, only now she wasn’t unwrapping the gift that she never thanked me for. . . . She seemed to be unwrapping Ian.
Al yson was
stil
tel ing some story, and now Ian had cupped his chin with his hand and was nodding along with every word. Fascinating stories were like heroin to him.
He wasn’t inching away anymore. Was it possible Al yson Moore, flag twirler, could be
that
interesting?
Dan was right. Him kissing me would send Ian into a frenzy. It would send Al yson into a frenzy. But most of al , it would piss the hel out of Hailey.
Which was why I’d never kiss Dan.
Except there was one problem. Ian had gone and pissed the hel out of me. What was he doing talking to another girl when he was supposed to be with me? Why wasn’t she making her own boyfriend listen to that crap? I wanted to throttle her. Yank her ponytail. Shove her in the pool. Even better, I wanted to march right up to Ian and make out with him, right in front of her.
Oh, ick. Dan real y was right. We girls have jealousy flowing al through our DNA strands. We only want what we can’t have.
I shook my head. “No, Dan. It’s not right. I won’t—” 89
But it was too late. Dan planted one on me. The good thing was it was close mouthed, and it technical y didn’t feel like an actual kiss because he rammed his lips on mine—it was more like a fenderbender where two cars plow into each other and then there’s swearing.
I kept my eyes open during the wreck of a moment and in the distance I could see Hailey. Looking right at us.
I turned my head away. “Stop it. Stay the hel away from me!”
But Dan just smiled. “Hailey’s not gonna mind. Watch.” Dan wobbled at first, then staggered over to Hailey and put his arm around her. He whispered something in her ear.
But she shook her head, shoved him away and walked off.
Which was exactly what I should’ve done.
Oh no. No, no, no. I couldn’t hurt Hailey like this. This was not in the plan.
Ian kept nodding his head because of his enthral ing conversation with Al yson. I wasn’t sure if he saw the kiss. But if there was one thing I could do that would ruin everything between us, it would be to kiss another guy. At a party. A
pool
party! What the hel was wrong with me?
I considered throwing myself into the pool. Was it deep enough to kil me
and
this dress? Mom would be so disappointed. But instead, I slumped into a lawn chair, aching for my Moment of Lip Lock Bliss, and waited to see if Ian would join me by the hot tub.
He didn’t.
90
5
A Slurpee,
Jumbo-size, Berry
“SO WAS THIS Dan at least kind of cute?” Donna raises an eyebrow.
Gilda gives her this let-her-tel -the-story, butt-out kind of look.
“Dan was not himself, that’s for sure,” I explain. “But it gets worse. It gets confusing. Ian is such a great guy . . . but then there’s the daisy ring incident and the dress malfunction and the note from Eva. . . .” I sigh, realizing I’m getting ahead of myself.
Gilda fiddles with her braid. “Oh, no. His ex?” I nod. “I don’t know what to think.”
Donna clears her throat. “Here’s your problem, dol —
91
you don’t see the world as black or white.”
“But it isn’t black or white.”
“So you’re admitting you have a problem.”
“There are grays,” I say. “Things that aren’t just yes or no.”
“Aha! The problem.” Donna rubs her hands together, proud of herself.