Divided (The United Trilogy Book 2) (15 page)

“WHAT?! You’ve got to be mistaken!” I exclaim.

“Nope, like I said he didn’t say a name, but he did say it was out of this year’s group and the guy was a total genius, and didn’t get swayed by emotions. They thought he would be perfect for the Council, but the guy told them he’d rather put his mind to use for production purposes, and only after a few years of being useful he would consider it if they still wanted him.”

That does sound like Wes, and it makes perfect sense since he is the only one of us who was never slotted in a position. I didn't find it odd that they let him pick, until now that is. He must not have been able to tell me. Geez, when did our lives get so complicated?

“And what did you tell Samuel?” The way he looks at me breaks my heart. I know he cares for me, I can tell, but not enough to let go of his ghosts. If they don’t pass this and the ban stays, Dex isn’t going to come back, even if they let him he won't. He doesn’t even have to say it. I just know.

“You know I can’t go back there, Roz; there’s too much I left behind. I’m not the same guy who started training to be a Council member; that guy is gone. I told Samuel as much.”

“So if the ban stays and I don’t join the OC, what you’re saying is that we are done before we even get started?”

“Roz, don’t do this. You don’t know what’s going to happen. It sounds promising for them to lift the ban, and if they do that, you can come and visit us.”

“Come visit? For what, Dex? What kind of relationship will that be? I can come see you once a week for a few years and then what? I want a family, I want kids. Tell me how that will work with us living across the country from each other? This is stupid to think that we can make this work.” I stand up and start pacing.

“I don’t know what you want from me, Roz. I don’t have much to give, you know that.”

I nod, because he’s right: I do know that. Asking Dex to change isn’t fair. Asking him to leave the OC is just as bad as him asking me to leave the Zones. I’m not sure what is going to happen, but a future with Dex is looking bleak. I don’t say anything; I just stand and look out at the water.

He comes up and holds me from behind. “You remind me of my mother, of how she was before my father stole her spirit. She was tiny, just like you. Her hair was blonde and she had brown eyes, but you had the same soft spirit, the same love for people. She could be a firecracker too! She used to sing me to sleep every night when I was a boy, like you do now for Grace.” I don’t know what to say. He’s never opened up before, especially about his parents.

“How did she die?” He stiffens behind me.

“Of a broken heart, my father broke her.”

I turn in his arms and hug him. “I’m sorry, Dex.”

He whispers in my ear, “I don’t want to break you, Roz. You are so sweet and so good; I don’t want to change that. As much as I love you, the best thing to do probably is to let you go.”

I start to cry. I know he is right. Even though I want to yell at him that he is full of crap and that he is taking the coward’s way out, I know he isn’t. Hurting me now will be a lot better than waiting and hurting me more later on. I can’t ask him to give me more than he can, and poor Dex just doesn’t have much to give. I nod and take a few deep breaths to calm myself down. I have too much to worry about to let this get to me. It doesn’t make any sense to try to plan out our future when we don’t even know what the future holds.

“Can I go see Grace now?” I ask him, changing the subject.

He looks at me like he is unsure of how to read me. I’m guessing he is expecting another outburst or at least for me to come at him and tell him that he is wrong, but he isn’t wrong; he just says what I don’t have the strength to say: we just can’t work. Not now, at least.

“Are you okay?” He looks worried and sad.

“I’m fine; don’t be sad, you are right. We don’t need to figure anything out tonight. I’d like to go spend some time with that sweet angel if that’s okay with you.”

“Of course it is!” He gives me another tight hug and then we make our way towards his place. We pick Grace up at the neighbor’s and go back to his house. I read her a few stories and sing her several songs and lay with her until she falls asleep. Unfortunately, my exhaustion has caught up with me and I soon fall asleep right next to her.

I don’t wake up until the next morning when I feel tiny little hands rubbing my face. I open my eyes to the sweetest little face smiling down at me. “Well, good morning. Did I fall asleep here?” Grace nods and giggles.

“Oops, I didn’t mean to do that. You must be super cuddly, and that made me fall fast asleep.” She giggles again and jumps off her bed and jumps on her brother’s. I hear him groan out loud and he starts tickling her and she turns into a fit of giggles. I am not sure if I should just get up and leave or what. I feel bad for falling asleep, but it is nice to get some extra time with Grace.

“Good morning, Roz.” I look up to find Dex looking at me. His hair is completely disheveled and so long now that he could braid it if he wanted to. He seems happy and amazing first thing in the morning, and it just isn’t fair. I know I must have looked like a total mess. I am always grumpy and my hair is always a huge mess in the morning. I try to smile but I end up throwing myself back on Grace’s bed and groaning. He laughs and the next thing I know, I have one huge and one tiny pairs of hands tickling me.

“Okay, okay, I surrender!” I shout out while trying to get away from their hands.

They stop and I grab Grace into a hug. “I missed you so much; you know that, little mouse?” She cuddles into me and I cherish the moment. I am not sure how many more of these I will get. No matter what happens with Dex and I, I am going to make sure that I do not abandon her. I will find a way to stay in touch, even if I have to talk to her through the gate.

“Well, it’s time for me to get back to the Ministry. I have a fight on my hands!” I try to smile, but I think it comes out more like a grimace.

“Come give me a big hug; I’m not sure when I’ll be able to come see you again. It might be a while, but I’ll keep sending you things, okay?” She hugs me tight and it brings tears to my eyes. Dex can tell that I am sad and I know he doesn’t want Grace to see it.

“Run on outside and see if you can pick a few wild flowers for Roz to take back with her, okay, little mouse?” She nods and runs out the door. As soon as the door shuts, I am in his arms.

“It’s okay, love. Don’t cry; it will be okay. We are going to miss you too, and you are going to go take on the Council. You will be amazing, without a doubt. You know how much you mean to me, right?” I nod into his chest, because I do know.

“Okay then, dry your eyes. Masters is going to think you are a wimp.” That gets a laugh out of me.

I look up into his eyes. I am going to miss those deep brown eyes which are so full of pain. I bring his head down to me and I surprise him by giving him a kiss. It only takes him a second to kiss me back. Sometimes words aren’t enough; we both know the pain and regret the other feels. This is the best good-bye we can give to each other. Dex kisses my forehead one last time. Grace gives me a handful of wild flowers and I give her one more hug before I find Masters. I see Zara on my way back to the gate and I give her a huge hug as well. She tells me how much she has missed me and how proud she is for all of the good things I am doing.

Masters doesn’t say anything to me on the train ride back. I know he can tell that I have been crying, and I assume he knows why, but thank God he doesn’t ask so I don’t have to tell. We go straight to my house. He tells me that he will wait while I change and shower. Since Wes and Molly are already at work, I offer him to use Wes’s shower so he can clean up as well. Once we are both fresh again, I grab chocolate milk and toss a muffin to Masters.

“Are you ready?” I ask him.

“Are you?” he asks me back.

“Nope, but let’s go anyway.” I am surprised to see him smile. We walk in silence all the way to the Ministry until we reach the doors.

Before we go through, Masters grabs my hand and gives it a little squeeze. "I’m going to hang around here for a while. I want you to message me the moment you finish, alright? I don’t want to have to come looking for you.” What a tough teddy bear. I throw my arms around him and hug him tight. He hugs me back and then says, “You got this, Roz. Just remember to have confidence, understand?”

We walk side by side silently. Masters accompanies me all the way to Aspen’s office, and then nods and waits until I am at the Council room. I take a deep breath and scan myself in. I decided on the way here that instead of taking the offensive like I did last time, I am going to let them lead. I'm hoping that they have thought long and hard and that they are going to please me with their insight. One can hope anyway.

Chapter Eleven

I walk into the room and everyone is looking at me. Things are more strained now since my first few visits and that’s really too bad, but that can’t be helped. Annabelle gives me a big smile as well as most of the others. Peter and Seamus seem to be a bit guarded but that is not new.

“Have a seat, Roz. It’s nice to have you back.” Annabelle seems genuinely happy to see me again. I give her a small smile.

“Thank you. It went much longer than expected, but it was such an eye-opening experience; I’m very glad I was able to go.” I tell her.

Patience smiles at me. “What you are doing is so wonderful, Roz, and we are so proud of you. I just wish I could have seen that little boy’s face when he saw the monkeys.”

I smile at her. “You can. I took a lot of pictures; I will send you some.”

“Thank you. I’d love that.”

“Have you gotten the logistics started on the new program? It seems like an awfully big under taking,” Clarisse asks. I can’t tell if she is being skeptical or just being herself. I always have a hard time reading her.

“Yes, Molly has been working on them for a while now, and George has hand-picked someone to take over the new program itself, but you are right, it is a very big undertaking. Nevertheless, it’s one I think that will be very worth it in the end.”

“Of course it will be.” Samuel says, throwing me a wink.

“Now that you are here, I’m sure you are anxious to get down to it just like we are."  Can’t help but love Samuel. He is all fun and games, but he’s not shy to jump right in to the nitty-gritty.

“Please.” I tell him.

“Okay then, we all thought long and hard about what you said the last time you were here. You had some very valid points, Roz, and we wanted you to know that we heard you. We do understand now where you are coming from. I also took a tour of the OC compound and you were right there too. I was very impressed with how they ran things, and the people as a whole seemed very peaceful.” I take a deep breath. Everything he is saying so far sounds good, but there has to be a “but” in there somewhere.

“After I took the tour, we all sat down and hashed it all out again. Even though your points were valid, some other valid points were also presented, but we would like to hear first of what your plan would be if we did lift the ban. Maybe it would answer some of our questions and we could get down to it. So what is your exact plan of action for moving forward, Roz?”

Here it is: the make it or break it point. I know that whatever is going to happen will be hinged on what I say next.

“After seeing how they have lived and worked, you can see why I think they are such a unified and awe-inspiring community, right?” Samuel nods.

“Well I thought about it, and I guess the reason why they are so unified is because they have a special trust amongst them. They don’t have cameras or sentries or anything in the compound. They have to trust each other to stay peaceful for the good of the community. They are a very selfless people by nature too. I understand that not all people are that way and that some people need the monitoring and the policing to keep them on the straight path, but because people are different, I don’t think they all fit in one set of rules. I know what I’m proposing seems odd but please think it over before you turn it down immediately." I make sure I pause and make eye contact with everyone.

"Many of the people in the OC are there to get away from the Ministry. It’s not the rules that they don’t like; it’s being monitored and being told what to do with their lives that has chased them away. That kind of pressure can get to be too much for some people. They like the freedom that comes with the OC; however, I don’t like that they are vulnerable and without our protection. What happens if one of them needs major medical treatment? They have a community doctor and surgeon, but what if it’s not enough? They need to have access to some of our benefits, and with the ban, that is impossible. We need to embrace them and show them that we embrace their differences and respect their choices. We are one country and we need to act like it. What I propose is to lift the ban and unlock the gate, or at least give them a way to control the passwords for who comes in and out. Give them access to the Zones and help when they need it. Most of them won’t take it or use it, but it’s the show of faith on our part that is so essential.

"I also have a problem with the monitoring that goes on at the Ministry. I understand that everyone is better protected this way, but it is a huge invasion of privacy. I knew that we were being watched somewhat, but I had no clue until I toured the Career department. I felt so invaded and like I was doing something wrong. Before you get upset, I understand why it had to happen, but I want to discontinue the in depth nature of the monitoring. I don’t ever want any of my citizens to feel how I did, tricked and lied to. I want there to be a very public announcement that they are being monitored for their safety and well-being. I want them to be given a clear option on where they want to live. They can choose to be monitored by the Ministry and continue to get the benefits of living in the monitored areas, or they can go to the free community which I will change the name immediately from Outcasts, by the way. They can go to the free communities where they aren’t being monitored or have a job chosen for them, but the work is harder and longer and they will not have the luxuries of the monitored areas. Obviously, the Zones will have to be broken up a bit to give area to more compounds. I don’t want you to think of this as breaking up the Ministry, but just having different ways of life in a unified country."

“My fear is that if we don’t change this, more people are going to start leaving and joining the OC. These aren’t people down on their luck and talent either. Most of the people who make up the OC are people who were in a position of power or have worked for the Ministry. These people are smart and know what they are doing. We can be using them and tapping into their talent if we open the borders. For those of you who are history buffs, you’ve got to know that people start rebelling when they feel trapped, or when they feel like their freedom is being taken away. We can never have a truly flawless plan of action because people are flawed. But we can give safety, security and freedom. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.” I end my long speech with a straight face.

I am getting a few stumped looks, some nods and smiles, and a couple of sighs. This isn’t going as well as I have hoped for and I may just totally make the ship sink with my next comment, but it has to be said.

“I know I’m going to step on a few toes by saying this, but it must be said. I appreciate that you are doing what you think is best for the country, but how would you know how it feels to have your privacy taken away? You are the only people in the whole country who aren’t monitored, or in some way told what to do. You have a freedom that even I will never have, so how can you possibly know how violating it feels to have a mile-long file that’s dedicated to you? I can go into the system at any time and pull a file; any one of you can look at mine whenever you want. You will know how many boyfriends I’ve had, what I like for breakfast, and when I started my period, for God’s sake!”

Peter starts choking and several of the men in the room turn deep shades of red, but it’s completely true and I am not going to hold back.

“Do you think that’s fair that you can know these intimate details about me and I can’t even know your last names? All of your files are hidden or burned, I’m not sure which, but I’m the only one who even knows your faces. How can you judge how people are feeling about their rights being taken away when yours aren’t?”

“I think that’s enough, young lady!” Peter speaks up.

“She isn’t wrong,” Amira interjects.

“No, in fact she is very right, and I’ve never thought of that, Roz. I never thought of how intrusive it is, just that it is needed,” Samuel adds.

“I think you are right; it is needed, but it doesn’t hurt to let people know, and maybe not be as intrusive.” I reply.

Clarisse pipes up: “I feel like I’m almost repeating myself from what I said earlier, but this is a ginormous undertaking. You are talking about not only changing our whole system, but reframing how the whole country is run. It’s going to take a long time and there is going to be a lot of fall back from this. I don’t see how it can be done smoothly. It’s one thing to build from the ashes, but you are talking about tearing down and rebuilding.”

Many nods follow her statement.

“You are right. It is going to be a long and hard process, but I feel like it will be completely worth it in the end. Hard work is rewarding. I don’t think we shouldn’t do what is right just because it’s going to be a pain to do it. We will just have to be organized. Select people to do what they are good at and delegate; it doesn’t have to be done all at one time, but slowly bring about another change. If we are united on this, it will not be half as hard. I know I’m asking a lot, but I know we can do this.”

“Does anyone have any other questions or statements before we take a vote?” Samuel asks.

“I do,” Lucas says. “Who is going to be overseeing these changes and places? You? Don’t you think it’s going to be hard to focus 100% on two completely split communities?”

Well crap, I haven’t thought of that, but then Malik and Dex flash in my mind.

“As President of United America, my first goal is to unite the people. Once I do that, my leadership and loyalty is always going to be to the Ministry, but with that being said, I will not ignore the OC. I am the President of all, but I think we will need to elect someone from there who knows how to lead and represent that area to better fuse the two places together. They will still have to answer to the Council and I think it will even be beneficial for them to have one person stationed here at the Ministry as a representative, and one there, among the people.”

“That sounds very reasonable.” Annabelle adds. Thank God for that because I have no clue where I have pulled that from.

“Shall we vote?” Peter asks. Everyone nods.

“I will start,” He says. “Roz, I’m not saying I don’t agree with you. You are a very smart girl who loves people and does right by them. I think this is a good plan you’ve showed us, but I just can’t vote in favor of it. I’m old and I’m set in my ways and I don’t have the energy to put forth what it will take to get it done, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think you can. I just think at this time it’s too much. I vote no.”

Seamus was next. “I agree with Peter, Roz, I’m sorry. It is a good plan, but it’s too much without being really thought out. I think it’s something we can bring back to review at a later date for sure.” I nod to him. I can feel my eyes start to tear up. I know I still have eight more votes, but it is hard not to feel defeated already.

Samuel looks up at me and smiles wide. “I vote absolutely yes. Roz has vision and every ounce of spirit and heart to back that vision up.” I mouth thanks to Samuel who winks.

Next is Lucas. “I agree with Samuel. My vote is yes.”

Annabelle just smiles and nods. “Absolutely. I may be old, but I know when to back up and let the new blood do the work.”

That is more in my favor now; maybe I can just pull this off after all.

Clarisse only says “No” and nothing else. That woman is going on my list.

Patience says, “Yes, we can make this work.”

“Absolutely we can, yes.” Amira gives me a wink.

This is much too close for my liking.  My palms are starting to sweat and I feel like I am going to pass out at any minute.

Simon looks at me with regret in his eyes. “I’m so sorry, Roz. I really want to say yes, but I think it is much too big of an undertaking right now. Baby steps, Roz; if you bite off more than you can chew, you will choke. No for me.”

I can’t believe this. The final vote and my fate literally lie in Nadine’s hands. I’ve hardly heard anything out of this woman the whole time I’ve been in the Ministry, and now my fate is in her hands. Why haven’t I gotten a better idea of where she stands? She is so shy that I never even thought about her before. She is also the youngest member of the Council and neither Malik nor Dex has mentioned her so she must have replaced Ed. She looks at me now with compassion in her eyes. I’m hoping that’s a good sign.

“Roz, you are a breath of fresh air to the Ministry. You are a proven fact that age doesn’t mean you can’t handle responsibility. I have no doubt that you will be able to fulfill your promises, but what concerns me is the split in the Council. Splits are known to happen, but I think a vote for something this important should be closer than me being the final vote. I don’t feel comfortable passing this without more support; however, I think you are on the right path so I’m going to break this up. I vote yes for lifting the ban, but not on the rest. You can lift the ban, but we need more time to make such a huge change to our country.”

What has just happened? People are all talking at once but all I hear is noise. She says no, but she lifts the ban? So it isn’t a total loss, but that still means hiding things from the people. What do I do now? Do I step down and join the OC? I never thought for a second that they would pass only half of my plan; I am not prepared for this. I have tears streaming down my face and I can hardly breathe. Do I step down? I can’t make such a drastic decision in a heartbeat like this. I just can’t. All of a sudden, I realize the noise has completely died down. I have ten faces looking at me, all in concern. Somehow Amira, Samuel and Annabelle have surrounded me and I haven’t even noticed them move.