Divine Temptation (29 page)

“I’m going to bed. Please
don’t
come in,” she said. “But if you see any flames making a run for the house, kindly do put them out.”

That was the last they spoke to each other for the next week. Maggie sensed his presence everywhere, but he stayed hidden for the most part, allowing her the distance she’d requested. Even when he was in her line of vision, he gave up trying to talk to her after she’d ignored him enough times. Steeling herself with bitterness toward him made it easier to realign her emotions, and she knew that allowing him a single kind word or gesture was more than her raw and delicate heart could handle right then.

She ’fessed up to Kirsten that she’d been seeing someone, but explained that she hadn’t been sure enough about him to make introductions. She also told her daughter that the relationship was over, which Kirsten seemed to accept. For support, Maggie turned to her sister. Nancy’s sons hadn’t exactly been saints during the teen years, so she understood and didn’t judge Kirsten for the mistakes of the young.

“Carl’s attorney spoke with the other kids’ lawyers and they’re hoping to work something out with the farmer,” Maggie informed her sister over the phone. “He assures us that when all is said and done, this will be nothing more than a minor blip on Kirsten’s record.”

“Thank God.”

“Nothing can be settled until after the first of the year, but it’s not a bad thing that she has to sweat it out a little bit—she did screw up.”

“They all have. And maybe getting in trouble for it early on will help her make better choices in the future. It seems to have worked for my boys.”

“I can only hope.”

“And pray.”

Maggie stayed silent.

“…
and
pray
,” Nancy repeated expectantly.

“To be honest with you, Nance, praying doesn’t seem to have been doing a whole hell of a lot of good lately.”

“Um, it’s getting Kirsten off with nothing more than a blip.”

“No, Carl’s attorney is doing that. Look, I’m just going through a little bit of a dry spell spiritually right now. Between Father Tom getting shipped away and…other things.”

“Well, I’m going to pray that the holiday season moistens this dry spell. Ew, that didn’t sound good, did it?”

Maggie laughed. “No, it didn’t.”

“So when are you coming to visit? Let’s make it soon. I know I’ll be up for Christmas in a couple weeks, but that’s always so crazy and goes by too fast. I’d love to get you down here and have you all to myself.”

“That sounds great. I feel like I just need to get away from everything, even if it’s just for a long weekend. Assuming all goes as planned with the lawyers, what would you think of late January?”

“Perfect! Assuming Chicago doesn’t snow you in, of course.”

“Let’s plan on it then.”

After ending the call with her sister, Maggie pulled a load of laundry out of the dryer and folded it. It was Saturday, and she was reluctant to admit to herself that she was relieved the kids were at Carl’s for the weekend. Things had been strained between her and Kirsten since the fire, with Maggie trying to strike the right balance between stern discipline and maternal nurturing and Kirsten adeptly pushing every one of her mother’s guilt buttons. It had been stressful for both of them, and the break from each other was good. Maggie planned to go shopping for a few final Christmas gifts after church the next day and hoped setting her mind to that happy task would bring her heart and nerves back to something more normal. As the weekend had approached, Maggie forced herself to dismiss any fears about the fire being supernaturally malicious. All had been calm since, and she simply couldn’t fit one more ounce of anxiety into her emotional basket.

She finished folding and carried the clothes upstairs. As soon as she crossed the threshold into her bedroom, she felt Evan. She’d mastered her poker face and moved about the room putting away her clothes as if he wasn’t there.

“I understand your concern about the children overhearing,” he said, “but please, talk to me now.”

Maggie made the mistake of looking at him. The sincerity and anguish that strained his sublime features cradled her heart even as they ripped it apart. She pressed her lips resolutely together and brushed past him, her shoulder accidentally bumping against his arm. Pulling open a drawer, she shoved a few shirts inside.

“Please, Maggie. This hostility isn’t good for you.”

She whipped around. “Why are you even still here? Nothing has happened since last weekend—no fires, no possession, no nothing other than tension between me and Kirsten while Carl’s the big damn hero. You aren’t needed anymore.” She moved over to the next drawer and crammed a fistful of socks into it, then turned and stared hard into her empty laundry basket. “Please, just go away.”

“I honestly wish I could give you the space and time you need, Maggie.”

Gripping the sides of her basket, she said through clenched teeth, “Why don’t you, then—and do
not
tell me you don’t know.”

He was silent for a few moments, and Maggie was about to turn and walk out of the room, resolved to resume pretending he wasn’t there, when he spoke. “Something evil is drawing closer to you. It’s the only explanation I can give for my inability to leave you. I promise I’ve tried, but the pull to be with you, to envelop and protect you, is too strong.”

Maggie had to force her eyes to stay down as Evan dared a step closer. Her voice shook when she said, “If there’s a real danger, I’d rather have you with the children.”

“It’s not my choice. You’re the one I’ve been sent for.”

“It’s too hard,” she whispered and lifted her eyes, no longer attempting to conceal the desire burning within them. He took half a step back, and Maggie winced. “You see why I need to keep walking away? It’s what I do best when I’m not strong enough to handle something.”

“You’re strong enough, Maggie. I know you are.”

Maggie shook her head again. “The only thing that ever made me feel strong enough was you—when you would hold me and impart your bliss. But that wasn’t me being strong; it was me borrowing your strength. And now you won’t even let me do that. Is my weakness so repulsive that you can’t even stand to embrace me?”

“Maggie,” he said and reached a hand toward her, but let it drop, balling it into a fist at his side. “The peace you felt came from the Lord. He’s the one you need to depend on, not me.”

“So the answer to my question is yes.” She kept her gaze straight on him, but his image blurred as her eyes filled with angry and humiliated tears.

“Stop,” he murmured. “You don’t understand. It isn’t your weakness that keeps me away. It’s mine.” His head turned to the side and tilted toward the floor, away from her. “I can’t touch you without wanting…more. I have asked—
begged
,” he continued as he lifted his face to look at her, “to be reassigned. As much as I don’t like the idea of being permanently separated from you, being here has become too difficult for me too. But that doesn’t seem to matter to my superiors, because their answer was a resounding no.”

Maggie’s hold on the basket slackened, but she tightened it, forcing down the bubble of hope that tried to rise amidst all the heaviness of the last week. “I wasn’t making it all up?” Evan didn’t answer or gesture in any way, but the earnest lock of his eyes on hers told her she had it right. “So you do want me, and the powers that be won’t allow you to leave—have you ever thought for one moment, Evan, that just maybe you and I are
supposed
to be together?”

He held his hands up and took a step back. “No. Not in the way we want.”

They were right back where they always ended up—nowhere, and Maggie snapped, flinging the laundry basket across the room and shouting, “This is ridiculous! You want me, you push me away, you kiss me, and then refuse to touch me. I’m human, Evan. I am only human, and I can’t do this anymore! Decide what you want. Figure out exactly what the hell you’re doing here, and until you do,
stay away from me
.” She turned to storm out of the room, but he grabbed her bicep, holding her there.

“You have to control your anger, Maggie.” She found the incensed tremor in his voice ironic, and turned to look at him, his glowering face only inches away. “This is an extremely dangerous time to give maleficence a foothold. I’ve told you I can’t leave, so what do you expect me to do?”

She gritted her teeth and snarled, “I wish you’d never come here. I wish I’d never seen you, and I wish to holy hell I’d never let you in.”

“What do you want me to do?” He tightened his grip on her arm.

“You know what I want.”

He grabbed her other arm and pushed her backward until he held her arms pinned to the wall. The force he used shocked her, and before she fully absorbed what was happening his mouth crashed onto her lips and his torso pressed into hers, flattening her spine against the wall. Her body responded immediately, and by the time her brain caught up, she was biting into him with almost as much fury as he was into her.

His hands loosened their hold on her arms, and she pulled them free to wrap around his shoulders and clutch at his hair, pulling him closer. This kiss was unlike any of the others. It was hot and flowing and reached down to every part of Maggie’s body. Evan’s hands traveled over her, and not in the gentle strokes with which he’d previously caressed. He grabbed and clawed. Fabric ripped as he thrust a hand up her shirt and dug his fingernails into her breast. She let out a muted gasp at the pain.

Pulling his mouth from hers, he huffed, “Is this what you want?” He sank his teeth into her clavicle, and she clamped her lips together to stop from crying out. She saw now that he wanted her to tell him to stop. He lifted his face and asked again, “Is this what you want?”

Stinging tears leaked out the corners of her eyes. “Yes,” she whispered stubbornly.

His irises flickered rapidly back and forth over her face as if assessing her sincerity. If being close to Evan meant letting him tear her apart, she’d do it. She’d finally smashed down his barriers and wasn’t going to flinch now. His hand trailed down her abdomen and lingered at the waistband of her jeans.

“No!” he shouted and took three quick steps backward, then turned and vanished. But before his essence had fully left the room, he was back, taking determined steps to Maggie. With intent eyes on her, he lowered his palms against the back of her thighs, and gently lifted her to him. She wrapped her legs around his waist and held his shoulders. For several moments, they silently stared at each other. The violence had disappeared from his silvery eyes and the smooth lines of his features, and Maggie understood that he was letting her make the next move. This time it was real. She lowered her mouth to his, and when they made contact, everything Maggie ever knew faded away. There was only Evan.

He carried her to the bed, kissing her the whole way, and laid her down, his mouth leaving hers only to nuzzle away the red marks he’d left behind on her chest. She was hesitant to move too aggressively, not wanting to scare him away again, but her overwhelming curiosity to touch more of his flesh urged her to take a chance. She tentatively slid her fingers under his linen shirt and raked them over the supple skin of his lower back. He shuddered slightly as her flesh sank in, commingling with his.

A tugging below her navel told Maggie he was working at the closure on her jeans, and soon she felt his fingertips melting into the soft flesh beneath her zipper. She walked her fingers up his vertebrae and then skimmed them down his back, tilting her pelvis to entice him ever lower. His hand froze and he abruptly lifted his head, looking down on her with wide, frightened eyes.

“It’s okay,” Maggie murmured, quickly bringing one of her hands to the side of his face. “We can take this slow. It doesn’t all have to happen all at once.”

Without a word, Evan was off her, off the bed, and gone.

Maggie sat up and huffed sharply, half exasperated and half exhilarated. The stops and starts were frustrating, but she and Evan were finally getting somewhere, and she was confident he’d be back. She looked down at her torn shirt and smiled. Unclasping her bra, she pulled the straps through her sleeves and slid it off, pleased with the outline of her freed breasts through what was left of the thin fabric. She shimmied all the way out of her jeans and threw them on the floor, removing the obstacles.

There was still no sign of Evan, but she remained steady in her conviction that he’d be back. Everything had been moving toward this point. It only made sense for him to return and finish it. Still, even in her titillated state, she couldn’t convince herself that fornicating with an angel had been God’s purpose in sending Evan to her. But since the Lord was so irritatingly reticent to reveal his plans, she’d enact hers in the meantime.

It was taking Evan longer to work out his mind this time, and she was getting drowsy, so she pulled on her sleep mask to block the light of the declining sun and lay on top of her covers.