Do Not Forsake Me (37 page)

“Well, if I'm just like Jake Harkner, I guess I don't mind so much,” he muttered. “Mean and all.”

Randy brushed her hair, thinking how Jake liked it long and loose. She'd been home two days and still no word. The constant worry over whether Jake and Lloyd and Evie and Little Jake were alive stabbed at her constantly, leaving her unable to sleep. Everything seemed unreal, and loneliness engulfed her.

Someone lightly knocked at her bedroom door. “Randy? It's Peter. Can I come in?”

She wrapped her robe tighter around herself. “Yes.”

He opened the door and left it open as he stepped inside, folding his arms. “I know you'd rather I didn't come into this room, but Katie and Stephen went back across the street to help her parents with more cleaning at her house, and there is a woman here who wants to see you. Now, mind you, I'm not real familiar with her type, but I'm pretty sure she's a prostitute.”

Randy rose, drawing in her breath. “Then she knows Jake! Maybe she's seen him!”

Peter shook his head. “Why am I not surprised?”

“Let her in, Peter! Have her come in here and close the door.” Randy retied her robe.

Peter looked her over with a frown. “Randy, she's a harlot.”

“And she has news of Jake—I'm sure of it. And don't look down on her, Peter. Jake wouldn't.”

“And that doesn't bother you?”

“Of course not. It's probably Dixie James. They're good friends.”

Peter's eyebrows raised in disbelief. “And
that
doesn't bother you?”

“Not at all. It's all right, Peter. This is Jake we're talking about.”

Peter dropped his arms and then put his hands out as though to give up. “Of course. What was I thinking?”

Her eyes teared. “Peter, she knows something important, or she wouldn't be here. Whatever it is, I need to know too. Maybe…maybe Jake's dead and she knows it.”

He reached out and touched her arm. “Don't think that way. And by the way, she has a kid with her—maybe eight or nine years old, blond hair, kind of shy. Do you know who he is?”

Randy frowned. “No. Maybe he belongs to Dixie.”

Peter sighed and left. Moments later he ushered in a plump woman with faded blond hair that was pulled into a twist at the nape of her neck. She showed subtle signs of having once been pretty. She'd left off the heavy paint such women usually used, other than a little face powder and lips demurely painted with a soft pink color. She wore tiny diamond earrings and a prim, close-fitting dress and straw hat with a blue ribbon that brought out the blue in her eyes. She turned to the boy with her.

“You stay out there with that nice man, Ben, till I talk to Jake's wife, all right?”

The boy glanced at Randy. “She's real pretty. I knew she would be 'cuz Jake said so.”

Randy frowned in confusion as the boy turned away, and the woman came inside and closed the door.

“You're Dixie James,” Randy said matter-of-factly.

“Yes, ma'am. How did you know?”

“Jake tells me everything.” Randy blinked back tears. “Please tell me you haven't come here to tell me he's dead.”

Dixie shook her head. “No, ma'am. I don't know myself what has happened to him. I only came here to tell you about the kid out there…and I was hoping Jake was back by now so I'd know he's okay.” Her own eyes filled with tears. “I care a lot about that man, Mrs. Harkner, and the last time I saw him he was a mess…a real dark, menacing, angry, starving, sleep-deprived mess.”

Randy covered her face. “My God,” she groaned.

“He'd just found out about your daughter, ma'am. He was headed to Guthrie to find out for sure, but somehow he already knew she'd been taken.” She shook her head. “I've never seen him like that, Mrs. Harkner, and I hope to never see it again. Never since I've known him has he scared me, but he scared me that day. And he was real upset over wanting to kill some…some loose woman up at Hell's Nest who knew about Evie but didn't tell him right away. She wanted…well, when he found out she knew and didn't say anything, he told me that was the first time he wanted to hurt a woman, but he didn't. He was just…my God, he had the darkest look in his eyes I've ever seen in a man, like Satan himself was boiling right up inside of him.”

“Dear God,” Randy whispered, putting a hand to her eyes. “I knew it would be bad. He needed me in the worst way.”

“I wasn't sure if you'd be upset that he stopped at my place. I mean, he only stopped to change horses. I gave him some fresh food and made him promise to eat and try to sleep a little bit more. The man was killing himself trying to get to Guthrie. I came here hoping he was back and everything was okay. I'm just real worried maybe he rescued his daughter but got sick and died afterward from the way he was abusing himself. Then again, Jake's a mighty tough man. He's survived an awful lot in his life. And he had that son of yours with him. Still, I'm not sure which one of them was worse off. Poor Lloyd was beside himself too, thinking they'd taken his wife and son. I tried real hard to get them to stay a bit, maybe sleep for a while, but Jake wouldn't have it. He insisted on going on.”

Randy turned. “Dixie, I'm sure you helped both of them as much as you could. I couldn't be there for them, and I just ache over that. I know Jake sometimes stops at your place. He likes to tease me about it. You're a good friend, and you are always welcome in this house.”

Dixie looked her over. “I saw you once in town. You probably don't remember…”

“I
do
remember—your face, anyway. I didn't know who you were, but I knew…well…”

“Yeah, we all have that look about us.” Dixie sighed. “I was so impressed by how beautiful and gracious you were. Jake said if I'd told you who I was, you probably would have invited me over, but he said he'd have a lot of explaining to do afterward.”

Randy managed a smile. “Jake is Jake, Dixie. Nothing you could tell me would upset me.”

“Well, then… I mean, you should probably know that he stopped by on the way to Hell's Nest. That was before all of this other happened—before he knew about Evie. He was a real mess then too. He…I…he kind of broke down over you, thinking you could be dying. I held him half the night. I thought you should know. I swear to God it was just holding, that's all. He needed someone to cry on, someone not close to him like family is. I think he just didn't want anybody in the family to see that, especially not Lloyd. He was so damn scared for you. I'm glad to see you looking so well. And I hope you understand. He'll probably tell you himself. I just want you to know nothing wrong happened.”

Randy turned away. “I understand him much better than you think, Dixie. I know how he was raised. And I know the kind of people he turns to in times like this. Don't fret about it. I know Jake inside and out. I believe you.” Her eyes teared at how much she loved him, how she missed him. “He teases me constantly about stopping there,” she added. “It's kind of a running joke with us. He can be so exasperating sometimes, goading me about things like that. I think part of what he loves about me is that I understand.”

Dixie smiled. “It's easy for me to picture that. He teases me too. When Jake is in a good mood, he's so handsome and likable and has that great sense of humor. He really cares about people. Really cares. You have no idea how much that means. I'm not just some prostitute who's worth nothing more than—well, I'm a friend. Not many people, especially men, call me that.” She sighed. “Anyway, I hope he's found your daughter and grandson by now. You just remember that this is Jake Harkner. If anybody can get them out of this and live through it, it's Jake. I told him that to be strong and think straight he had to be the
old
Jake, the mean one, the one with no feelings. I said he couldn't let feelings get in the way, and believe me, when he left, the feelings were buried way down deep and he was some other man I'd never met before.”

Randy nodded. “I've seen that Jake.” She turned away and went to sit down on the bed. Dixie stared at the bed, feeling suddenly uncomfortable. So, this was Jake's bedroom.

“Mrs. Harkner, I have to ask…how did your surgery go?”

Randy wiped at tears. “Good. I'm fine. There was no cancer.”

Dixie breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, I'm so glad! Jake would be so lost without you. If anything happened to you, I'm not sure he wouldn't turn one of those guns on himself. It just broke my heart to see how bad he was hurting that night he came to me. Can you beat that? He can face down fifteen men with those guns and it doesn't scare him a bit…but losing you? That terrifies him. And I gotta say, for a man who grew up unloved, he sure knows how to love back. That little boy I brought here with me, Jake already loves him…treats him like his own kid. I brought him here to tell you about him so's you'd be prepared. Whether Jake comes back or not, he'd expect you to take and love that boy.”

Randy motioned for her to sit down in a nearby rocker. “Who is he? Why would Jake expect me to take him in?”

Dixie sat down, removing her gloves. “I won't need to explain once I tell you how he found him.” She looked Randy over. “Are you all right? I mean, am I wearing you out? You can lie down if you want. I don't mind. Maybe I should leave now.”

“No. Please stay. I'm fine. In two more days I'll have stitches taken out, and everything is healing well. I just still get tired easily. Tell me about that boy out there.”

“His name is Ben Perry. After Jake left my place and headed for Hell's Nest, he came upon the kid being…beat…with a belt.”

Randy closed her eyes. “Dear God.”

“Yeah, you can imagine what that must have done to him. Jake dropped him off at my place on his way to Guthrie, and he was in such a hurry he didn't have time to explain much more than that. But I've talked with Ben since then, and the kid told me that Lloyd had a hell of a time stopping Jake from beating the kid's pa to death with the same belt once he got it away from him. It was pretty bad, I guess, and Jake fell against a shovel and cut that handsome face pretty bad. I saw the cut. I have a feeling that once it's totally healed, it won't much mess up his looks, but it looked real bad the day he stopped at my place. Lord knows men don't come much more handsome than Jake…except maybe that son of yours.”

Randy wiped at her eyes. “It must have been horrible for him…seeing that man beating on the boy.”

“Well, the way little Ben tells it, his pa said for Jake to go ahead and take him…said he didn't want him. Jake—he knows that feeling of not being wanted, I reckon'. It must have broke his heart, so he took the boy. Apparently he wants to keep him, Mrs. Harkner, raise him as his own and love him like he ought to be loved. The boy was a real mess when Jake dropped him off—terrible welts all over his body. He's a real good boy, very polite, kind of lost. He's scared Jake won't come back. I told him I figured you were kind enough that if you can't keep him yourself, you'd make sure he was with real good people who would love him.”

Randy pulled a handkerchief from the pocket of her robe and blew her nose, then wiped at her eyes. “Of course I will.” She sighed and stood up, walking to a window. “I'm glad you came, Dixie, so I'd know what to expect. If Jake makes it through this, it's still going to be hard for him. He's very good at blaming himself for everything bad that happens to his family.” She turned to meet Dixie's gaze. “But Evie—she will find a way to help him. No matter what has happened to her, she'll be concerned about Jake instead of herself. She'll never let Jake take the blame for any of this.”

Dixie nodded. “I hope she can manage that, and I hope with all my heart he makes it back, Mrs. Harkner, all in one piece, with your daughter and grandson in tow, as well as your son, of course. I saw a lovely redheaded woman headed across the street earlier—came from this house. Might that be Lloyd's new wife?”

“Yes. Her name is Katie. And she's a strong, brave young woman. She has already lost one husband and a child. Stephen has taken to her like the mother he needs, and she's going to be a perfect wife for Lloyd. She even held off some of those outlaws when they raided the town. When one of them came through the bedroom door, she shot him with a rifle. Isn't that something?”

“It sure is! She's the kind of wife Lloyd needs, just like you're the kind of wife Jake needs. He told me once that you shot a couple of men yourself, back when you went with Jake to rescue Lloyd from some gang of outlaws up in outlaw country in Wyoming. I'm surprised he took you with him.”

“I wouldn't take no for an answer. I wanted to find my son.”

Dixie nodded. “And whatever Randy Harkner wants, she gets, I'll bet.”

Randy smiled more. “I know how to handle Jake Harkner.”

Dixie grinned. “I'll bet you do—but I won't ever tell him you said that.”

“Please don't.” Their gazes held, and Randy realized this woman loved Jake in that distant, untouchable way that Peter Brown loved her. “Life can be so strange can't it, Dixie?”

“It surely can, Mrs. Harkner.” She rose to leave then. “I just thought you should know all these things before Jake gets back…and he
will
come back any day now, I'm sure.”

“I'm hoping he'll make it here in just another day or two,” Randy told her. “It will depend on Evie's condition and if they have to stop somewhere with her first. She could…lose her baby.”

“She won't. I just know this will work out, Mrs. Harkner. God is looking down on your family, and this whole thing will somehow help Jake. He'll realize prayer can be answered.”

The remark surprised Randy, coming from a woman who likely had never set foot in a church in her life. But then neither had Jake…yet he was a good man who loved with every fiber of his being. “Do you want to know something that might cheer you up, Dixie?”