Dodger of the Dials (6 page)

‘Where you off to?’ I heard Lily call from the back parlour. I stepped into the room what overlooked the backyard and saw her in the area not visible from the hallway. She was sat in the tin bathtub and there was three empty water buckets by the side of the tub. Her silk robe hanging from a wash-stand and she was scrubbing herself with some fancy bars of soap what I had stolen for her as a recent gift.

‘I was looking for you,’ I replied as my breathing began to slow again. ‘I had a panic.’

‘Ah, bless you,’ she said and pretended to splash me. ‘Thought some robbers had made off with me, did you? You are sweet.’

I nodded to say that this was exactly what I had thought and then there was a second where we just looked at one another. I could see she was working out what had really rattled me but I could not help giving it away first. ‘Lily,’ I ventured – knowing what offense the question could cause – ‘where is the necklace?’ Her face darkened as she took this in.

‘Did you think I ran off with it?’

‘No!’ I returned and laughed at the ludicrousness of the idea. ‘Of course I never.’

‘You thought I’d stolen it from you.’

‘Course not! I wouldn’t even entertain the idea, Lily. I know you’d never do me a wrong turn.’ There was another long pause as she held my eyes and said nothing. I softened my voice and broke
the silence. ‘Where is it, though?’ She sniffed and turned her head towards the window behind her. On the dresser underneath I saw it wrapped within a small hand towel. I crossed over, unwrapped it and saw that she had given the necklace a good wash and was letting it dry in the sun. I took it in my hands and inspected it for damages.

‘You’ve given it a nice clean, Lily,’ I said as I held it up to the light. ‘Thanks. Percival should be well pleased with—’

The door behind me slammed and I turned to see that the bath was empty and the robe had gone.

For the next hour – and in spite of all my many attempts at appeasement – I could not get a civil word out of the sullen miss. I tried to cheer her up by promising her that I would take her to St Bartholomew’s Fair that coming Saturday – a social event I knew she was very keen on – and that I would be happy to pay for everything. But Lily was deep in sulk and so instead I just left her alone and readied myself for the hour when my gang would come to collect me for our appointment with Percival.

After I had washed myself, and used the buckets to throw the dirty water out of the rear window and onto the patch of dry grass below, I started to dress for the meeting. I considered wearing some of my flashest colours in order to impress our paying customer when I strolled into the arranged location but, just before I reached for my bright blue waistcoat, I remembered that Mouse Flynn was coming with us and that an all black outfit would be more appropriate. Mouse had suffered a recent bereavement and was sure to be dressed in full mourning so it was right for me to do likewise. Agnes Dunn, his beloved kept woman, had died in childbirth just two weeks before and Mouse was devastated. It was a very sorrowful event in our local community as Agnes had been popular and I had promised Mouse that, as his top sawyer, I
would ensure that his baby would never want for nothing. I had already found a local midwife to take care of the child and had paid for a decent stone to be placed over his mother’s grave. I was the treasurer of the local burial club but the few coppers I had been paid from the Flynns was just enough to keep her out of the paupers’ end of the graveyard. The stone was my own expense and this outlay was among the many reasons why I was so behind with the rent. But, I told myself as I tied the laces of my black shoes after dressing myself, if you want to run a crew like mine then you have to be forever making them love you. And more important than that, I considered as I walked over to the small parlour mirror and inspected how handsome this black suit was making me look, was that they must want you to love them back. That was the best way to inspire loyalty in a criminal gang, I considered.

Soon the sound of pebbles being thrown against pane was heard at the front of the house and I crossed the apartment to the bedroom. Lily, who was in the kitchen, complained that the queer girl must be here again and that one day she would break that bloody window. Lily did not care for the way Tom would alert me to her presence but then Lily had never liked anything about Tom Skinner. I lifted the bedroom window and stuck my head out to greet the three noble crims what stood in the courtyard below. Tom, who occupied the centre of the yard and was flanked by the other two, lifted her hat and grinned as she rested on her cane while, to her left, Georgie was chomping into an apple. On the right, as I had predicted, was Mouse Flynn, his suit of black contrasting with the loud attire of the other two. I told them I would be down in a second.

‘Mouse is out there?’ Lily asked in surprise after I had explained the black. ‘Not Scratcher?’

‘You can’t expect a kinchin to come to business meetings like
this one, Lily’ I told her as I went over to give her a goodbye kiss. ‘It’d be irresponsible.’ As I went to approach her she looked like she was still going to turn me away instead of kissing me goodbye. ‘There is no one I trust more than you, Lil,’ I said before giving her a quick embrace.

‘Which is not saying much,’ she returned but she let me kiss her and I darted out of the door. I was halfway down the staircase before she whistled for me to stop. ‘You know, for a pickpocket,’ she said as she stood at the top of the stairs with the necklace I had placed in my coat pocket moments before now in her hand, ‘you’re an easy touch.’ I rolled my eyes and stepped back up to take it from her. ‘Good thing you can trust me,’ she smiled after we kissed again.

By the time I had made it down to the courtyard, having dodged another awkward encounter with Mrs Grogan, Lily had stuck her head out of the bedroom window to talk to the recent widower about his baby, Robin.

‘He’s better than gold and the image of his mother,’ Mouse said back to her as I shut the door after myself and nodded them all hello. Lily gave Mouse her love and said she would be visiting the babe soon before shutting the window without even acknowledging Tom or Georgie. I stepped forward and the whole company turned.

‘Very good, troops,’ I said, and made a show of inspecting their uniforms and bearing as if I was the officer and this lowly courtyard our barracks. I would not tolerate scruffiness in a member of my gang and was pleased not to find it here. I also noted with approval that all three carried canes what was similar to mine and this was not the first time I had set a trend among them. My silver top was fashioned into the image of a bird with a protruding beak and theirs was all also bearing icons of the natural world. Georgie’s top was
moulded into the shape of a horse’s head, Tom’s was that of a cat’s paw and Mouse’s was of a fox with its toothy mouth open, which was perfect for forcing open stubborn bottles. The silversmith what must have forged these stolen items was quite the artisan but I liked mine best as the bird’s beak could be used to hook itself into any door panel what I chose to hit with the cane and prise open a hole for a smaller thief to crawl through.

‘I ain’t ever seen a smarter bunch of lads,’ I remarked as I swivelled the bird’s beak up and over so the cane was now held behind my neck as I strutted past them. There was four of us, including Scratcher, what had stolen the necklace and the money would be split equal. Mouse was only coming so that we would look like an organised mob in front of Percival, and he would receive some coins for his trouble.

So I turned about and led my happy band out of Five Fingers and out through the maze of the slums towards the direction of Temple. We was followed for a spell by a young Irish lad of about eleven who skipped behind us asking what we was doing and where we was going. Young boys such as he was often captured by the romance of a gang like ours and this one was making a proper nuisance of himself as he buzzed after, imitating our cocky swagger. It was not until we reached the bottom of Drury Lane that we at last shook him off and then the four of us crossed the thoroughfare of Pickford Street. Knowing what a troublesome gang of villains we must have appeared as we did not even stop for carriages but just let their drivers avoid us instead. Finally we drew near to Temple Bar but it was not to the legal district itself where we was heading. Instead Percival had chosen as our rendezvous a quiet little public-house down a narrow lane nearby called the Drop of Courage. This was the sort of place where the families of the accused might visit before or after taking professional advice, a
much lower haunt where solicitors might be found but the criminal element was also not unwelcome. Percival had no doubt selected it as it was a place where his class and our class would not look so suspicious talking to one another.

The sum of money what he had promised to pay us for the safe return of the Lady of Stars was considerable, as much as I had ever been offered during my short career as a burglar-on-demand. I hoped that if this transaction went well then it would prove to be the first of many such engagements as Percival might start recommending me to other wealthy gents what might have similar felonious requests. It would be good, I reflected as the four of us turned into the long sooty lane what led towards the pub, to at last start making some real money from these God-given talents of mine.

We had advanced halfway down the lane before two figures what had been blocking our passage at the end made themselves visible. One of them had been lying in a slump between some empty barrels of ale outside the pub and we had at first taken him for a drunken vagrant. But, as we drew closer, he stood up in a manner of confident sobriety just as another man emerged from around the corner like he had been waiting there. They both held large wooden sticks.

The four of us stopped in our tracks and, without exchanging a word, raised up our canes. We clutched them by the bottom and brandished the heavy silver icons at the other end like the weapons they truly was. Then we stood in such a way that communicated to these two roughs that we was not to be mistaken for their usual prey. We was four while they was just two and our canes had longer reaches than their thick clubs.

Then they did something what was most peculiar for urban robbers. They both reached behind their backs and pulled up
matching hats what had been dangling from their necks on string. Then they tugged up what at first looked like black neckerchiefs and with them they masked the lower half of their faces. The hats was three-cornered and belonged to the previous century.

‘Good afternoon fellas,’ said a voice from behind us. We spun around to see three other coves stood in our wake what was hatted and masked in the same fashion. Two was set further back down the lane and holding clubs just like the first. The fifth was stood much closer to us and was pointing two long-barrelled barkers at me and at Georgie. ‘I’m Dick,’ his voice was a proud and unmistakeable Irish, ‘and these here are my Turpins. And, just so you’re in no doubt, be assured that I would not hesitate to shoot.’

Even with his face half-masked, I could tell that he was all of a grin and in love with his own mischief. I considered handing over my purse and telling my gang to do likewise in the hope that they would then be satisfied and move on.

‘Lower those smart sticks, so,’ this Dick continued. ‘And we’ll be taking that necklace of yours if you please.’

My three confederates all turned to me in surprise. I could not contain my dismay at his words and, for some moments, I was at a loss as to how to proceed. But I had no intention of handing over my hard-won treasure to this sniggering bandit and so I steeled myself and raised my cane even higher.

‘This is Temple Bar, Dick,’ I returned and felt my gang all stiffen themselves for battle. ‘There are lawyers and peelers all over what’ll come running at the first shot so spare us these stand and deliver theatricals. We ain’t bumpkins.’

Dick raised his eyebrows. ‘You’re a brazen one,’ he chuckled and cocked the pistols. ‘And it’ll be over in a heartbeat, I swear it.’

I considered our chances. He could easily shoot me and Georgie with those pistols and his four Turpins, who had been closing in
slow from both sides, would make short work of the other two. Georgie turned to me, itching for the word to charge, but I had already begun lowering my cane with one hand while my other reached for my coat pocket.

‘That’s best,’ Dick nodded and I could see the heavy weights of his guns already drooping as my cane slipped down through my hand. ‘That’s the smartest way. As my dear old mammy used to say it always—’

But we never learnt what Dick’s dear old mammy used to say on account of the silver bird at the end of my cane being smashed upwards into his face most sudden. He staggered backwards and fired off one cannon but it hit the brick wall to the left and he almost dropped the other. His then roared and charged but mine all followed my lead and each spun around to face their nearest challengers, going at them with their vicious canes. Weapons clashed all around, the sounds of street war rang out and I concentrated on their leader. I dropped Dick with another sharp punch to his face and he went down onto his back. Georgie ran past us and headed towards those coming in fast from behind but as Dick fell his second weapon fired and the shot hit Georgie’s leg. He cried out and staggered in front of them and they both started bashing him with their wooden clubs. I stepped onto Dick’s chest and he howled as I went straight over him to help Georgie. They both turned and rushed me and I struck one on the ear with my bird-cane. The other Turpin landed a blow with his club into my side and the force of it took me down.

‘That’s the one,’ I heard Dick shout in a hacking voice. ‘He’s got the necklace in his pocket. Gettit off him!’ I tried to fight as they advanced again but soon they had me helpless against the wall and was searching through my coat pockets.

At the other end of the alley, I could see my other two soldiers
locked in battle with their robbers but Tom had already taken a proper beating from hers who, with shameful disregard for her sex, had her on the ground and was punching her. Meanwhile Mouse, who when things turned violent was always tougher than his size and customary mildness would have people believe, had gained victory over his Turpin who had dropped his club and was under serious assault from the fox-cane. But Tom’s assailant finished with her, jumped onto the back of Mouse and the two men defeated him.