Authors: Melvin Burgess
Rage. Tears. Hacking of air with the hands. Make-up all over her face. Ashes. Despair.
‘How could he? After I
humiliated
myself for him!’ she wailed.
It lasted about a week and then she was over it.
The idea was for them all to go to the cinema, or bowling or swimming or something – Jon and Deborah, Ben, Dino and Jackie. Except that Dino had given Jackie the push and was being very secretive about maybe someone else coming along.
‘So I’ll be the gooseberry again,’ said Ben. But he came along anyway. He was thinking, if they went bowling he’d go too, if they went to the cinema he’d leave them to it. He did think about asking Marianne to go along with him – but it was too soon. Relationships. All that closeness. It was too much.
They met in a café by the leisure complex and sat at a table drinking soft drinks and eating crisps. About ten minutes later, Dino turned up with the new girl on his elbow.
‘Hi,’ he said self-consciously.
‘Hello,’ said Jonathon.
‘Um,’ said Ben.
‘Hi, Marianne,’ said Deborah.
Dino smiled happily. Marianne said hello and gave Ben a cool smile and a tilt of the head.
‘So what are you two up to, then?’ asked Jonathon, to try and break the silence.
‘We’re going to walk about a bit, don’t know really, see what happens,’ said Dino. He was just so pleased with himself. Isn’t she lovely? Isn’t she gorgeous? Aren’t you all pleased for me? Don’t you all wish you were me?
Deborah started a brief conversation with Marianne about what there was to do in town. Dino stood and smiled anxiously at his two friends, who seemed to be a bit put out, he couldn’t think why. After that, he and his new girl said goodbye and headed off for the door.
‘See you later,’ he called.
‘Later,’ said Jon. He waited until they were out of the door.
‘The fucker,’ he said.
Ben smiled and bobbed his head, blushing pinkly.
‘What’s up, you two were really off with him?’ said Deborah.
‘That’s the one Ben fancies,’ said Jonathon.
Ben shook his head. ‘That was ages ago,’ he said, but his blush turned from pink to bright red.
‘Oh, really, but, oh, that’s so mean,’ said Deborah. She pulled a face. ‘Isn’t that just so typical Dino?’
‘He didn’t know I still fancied her, did he?’ insisted Ben.
‘He knew,’ said Jonathon, outraged on Ben’s behalf. After all that running around looking after him! And after all that Ben had been through – he’d only just shaken free and now Dino had waltzed off with the one girl he really fancied!
‘But he didn’t
know
, did he?’ said Ben. ‘I mean, he was telling me I should ask her out only a couple of weeks ago and I wouldn’t. Remember? I told him I didn’t want to.’
‘But …’ began Jonathon. But it was true. Dino knew nothing about Alison Young. He had no idea why Ben hadn’t asked Marianne out.
Neither did Deborah. ‘But why didn’t you ask her, I bet she’d have said yes,’ said Deborah. ‘You’ve got to ask, Ben, what’s she supposed to do, wait for you or something?’
‘No, no, it’s right.’
‘I don’t care if he knew or not, he’s still a shit. It can’t be an accident,’ insisted Jonathon. ‘How can he be so accurate except on purpose?’
Ben grimaced.
‘It’s typical Dino,’ said Deborah.
‘It’s just amazing. Bang on the nose. How does he do it?’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Ben. He really didn’t want to talk any more about it.
He stayed and chatted a little longer. Jon and Debs tried to convince him to stay, but that was it, his heart was jolted out of place, the last thing he wanted was to hang around with a couple. He finished his drink and went off, leaving Jon and Debs to do their stuff on their own. He turned back to look at them through the window and saw that they’d leaned close together already, noses almost touching across the little wooden table. Sweet. He’d never seen Jon look so happy. He wandered off into HMV and looked at a few CDs he wanted but couldn’t afford to buy, then caught the bus home. His parents were out shopping, his brother was at a friend’s, he had the place to himself. Ben walked into the front room and stood there, gazing at the wall.
‘Fuck,’ he said. ‘Fuck fuck fuck. Shit wank bollocks! ARRRRGGGHHH!’ He ran over to the door and kicked it as hard as he could. It split. He was going to have to answer for that but he didn’t care. He ran around the house yelling and throwing cushions and kicking walls and trying not to break anything valuable. Finally he flung himself down on the sofa. He felt like weeping or screaming or laughing or all three. He put his teeth into a hideous grimace and grinned like the devil at the ceiling.
In a minute he put his hands behind his head, sighed, and closed his eyes. Not that he’d had any intention of asking Marianne out, and it was totally unreasonable to expect her to wait around for him; but it just had to be Dino who got her, didn’t it, and it had to be then, just days after he’d broken free. Like Jon said, it was too accurate to be an accident, but he was willing to bet Dino had no idea what he was doing.
Ben got up and looked at himself in the mirror. He had a good face, small even features, tight curly black hair. His eyes were bright and red with anger – he’d been close to tears – but he looked OK. The world was full of good-looking girls. Someone else would be there. Dino and Marianne wouldn’t last for ever and he’d still be there. What was the hurry? He could wait if he wanted to, or not.