Dominated: The Enforcers 2 (The Enforcers Series) (29 page)

Agitation and fear—God,
fear
—registered in her eyes, replacing the flatness with panic. She began to struggle against him until he finally loosened his hold on her and leaned back far enough that she wasn’t pressed against his body.

“I want to go home,” she repeated, her tone and inflection never changing. Lifeless and dull. Like her eyes. Her body language. Her expression.

Her eyes chased to the doctor, a plea for an ally. Help. One would have to be made of stone not to react to the desperation in Evangeline’s eyes. But the doctor remained silent, studying Evangeline with a slight frown.

Drake closed his eyes, trying in vain to swallow the knot threatening to rob him of breath. Tears burned like acid in his eyes and he blinked furiously, refusing to break down. If he let go, if he ever let go of his tenuous grip on his composure, then he would completely fall apart and shatter into tiny, deadly shards.

“Angel,” he whispered. “Come home with me. To
our
home. Give me this much this one time and I’ll never ask for more. Please let me make this up to you. I can’t live without you. I don’t want to live without you. Without you . . .”

He trailed off, refusing to give voice to the reality of all he was, or rather wasn’t, without her. He couldn’t envision his life, his existence, without Evangeline. What had he ever done without her? What had his
life been before she stormed in and turned his entire world upside down? He adored every single thing about her. Loved the chaos she’d brought to his well-ordered routine. Loving her was so fucking
easy
. It was impossible
not
to love her. Everyone she met, influenced in some way, fell under her spell, and it took only one of her genuine, innocent smiles and a few sweet words. If only he’d realized his love for her sooner. If only he’d given her his trust as easily.

Oh, it wasn’t as though he’d only just fallen in love with her. He’d merely been a blind fool refusing to acknowledge the truth. That he’d fallen and fallen hard from the moment an enchanting blond-haired angel with big blue eyes had nervously walked into his club. The first time he’d kissed her, it had sealed his fate. A possessive, symbolic gesture of his claim.

And he’d proceeded to fuck up the very best part of his life time and time again.

“Without you I’m not whole,” he said painfully.

“I want to go home. Mama is expecting me,” she said desperately, stirring for the first time, panic and desperation briefly flaring in her eyes.

Her fingers twisted in the thin sheet covering her legs, her agitation radiating from her in nearly tangible waves. He could feel her distress, her entire body quivering, dark shadows coupled with the vivid bruises on her face making her appear so very vulnerable, afraid and . . . defeated.

That alone enraged him. His angel defeated? She was a fucking tigress, but right now she resembled an abused kitten, huddled on the bed, drawing herself into the smallest, tightest ball possible and keeping herself carefully away from his touch as if he were the one responsible for her abuse.

But wasn’t he?

He wanted to goddamn puke. He wanted to put his fist through the fucking wall. He wanted to cry for all he’d done—and all that was fast slipping through his fingertips.

The doctor shot him a warning glance, dipped his head in Evangeline’s
direction and then shook his head, his message clear.
Back off. She’s fragile. Don’t push her. Give her time to heal.

Let her go.

“I’ll send my preliminary report with her. She needs to see a doctor there as soon as possible,” the doctor said in a low tone.

Just as evident was the doctor’s firm opinion that forcing Evangeline could prove to be the last straw. Could break her last hold on the control she was so desperately clinging to like a lifeline. He didn’t need to voice that opinion. Drake could see it written all over the doctor’s face.

Panic clutched and clawed at his insides until he was sweating and shaking. Let her go? It was equivalent to cutting his own throat, but then he deserved no less. He had driven her to this. He had driven her away. She wasn’t running from him. He’d violently shoved her away with no remorse or hesitation—at the time. There was plenty of regret now. When it was too fucking late. He’d been given one of life’s most precious gifts—certainly the most precious gift he’d ever been given—and he’d cruelly rejected it. Had rejected her and everything she’d so freely given him, never asking for a single thing in return.

Except . . . the one thing he hadn’t been willing to give. His trust. His absolute belief in her. The same unwavering, unconditional belief she had in him. He was the worst sort of monster. Just like his mother and father. He hadn’t risen above his past. He’d become his past.

Evangeline looked wildly around the room, tears welling in her eyes, with a look of such hopelessness that it was like a knife to Drake’s gut.

He gently stroked a hand through her tangled hair. Then he leaned in, unable to resist pressing his lips to her golden crown. It was a benediction. It was a gesture of regret. Sorrow. Grief. Apology. And love. So much love, and it had come far too late. He hadn’t given her what she needed most. His belief, his trust, his
love
. But he could at least give her this.

“I’ll get you home, Angel. Don’t worry. I’ll take care of everything. Just rest and focus only on getting better and putting this behind you.”

Oh God, please don’t let her put
me
behind her as well.

He couldn’t think about that. Couldn’t imagine a life without her shining light banishing long-held shadows in the black depths of his soul. Somehow, some way, she had to come back to him. He wouldn’t consider any other option. If he did, he’d completely break down.

She relaxed slightly, though there was still a troubled, guarded look shadowing her eyes. As though she didn’t trust him to tell her the truth. But then who could blame her when he’d been such a ruthless bastard?

Feeling himself coming undone one piece at a time, he pulled her into his arms, cradling her ever so tenderly against his heart—
her
heart. She owned it. He buried his face in her hair, the strands dampening as tears slithered over the tormented lines in his features as he wept silently, hiding his heartbreak and devastation in her silken tresses.

Ah, Angel, my precious, precious love. Letting you go is the hardest damn thing I’ve ever had to do or
will
ever have to do in my life. Wherever you go, you take my heart. My soul. Everything within me. I’ll always be with you. I’ll dream of you every night, every hour of the day, and pray with every breath that one day you’ll come back where you belong. To me. Until then, I’ll never be whole. You’re my other half. The very best part of me. The only good thing I’ve ever touched, loved, held close to my heart. Without you I am lost.

Could someone live with half a heart and a broken soul so tarnished by a lifetime of sins? She deserved so much better than what he’d given her. She deserved better than the man he was. And yet she’d chosen him and he’d cruelly betrayed her. He stared bleakly down at Evangeline, who lay limply in his arms. It wasn’t true. You didn’t need a heart to live, because his had been walking around outside his body ever since Evangeline had entered his world and effortlessly stolen it. And he’d never have it back, he’d never feel truly alive or live, until—unless—she came back to him.

His heart had lived inside her, a part of her, for the last months and he
never
wanted it back. Not unless it came as part of her.

Evangeline stared through unseeing eyes as the plane touched down in the small municipal airport just half an hour from her hometown. In the seat across the aisle sat Maddox and across from him Silas sat, staring at her in brooding silence.

Such had been the case ever since they’d taken off from New York City, but she’d refused to meet his gaze. She didn’t make eye contact with either Silas or Maddox the entire trip, opting instead to either pretend to sleep or aim her focus out the window. But she could see both men in her periphery and neither was happy. No, they were downright pissed.

That might have set her off; after all, what did they have to be pissed off about? But more predominant than the anger betrayed by their tight, clenched jaws was the very real worry in their eyes.

They took turns studying her, probing as though they were doing a thorough physical exam, and it made her want to squirm right out of her seat. By sheer will alone, she’d forced herself to remain stoic and seemingly unaware of their scrutiny.

She knew they were furious with Drake, and it should have heartened her that their belief in her was so resolute, but all she felt was overwhelming sadness that his men had absolute, unwavering trust in her
and hadn’t doubted her for a minute, while Drake, the man she loved, the man she thought had loved her even though he hadn’t given her the words, the man she’d planned to spend the rest of her life with and have his children, had been so quick to denounce her and throw her out. Coldly furious, his eyes icy and impenetrable, looking through her, not at her, not seeing her, not hearing her. No, he’d shut her completely out without a second thought. No hesitation.

She glanced down at her flat abdomen where her—their—child was nestled, no outward sign of its presence as of yet, and she closed her eyes. Well, at least one part of her dream would endure. She would have his child, but only one, and she wouldn’t have any other part of him. Not his love. But then she’d never had his love. Only the foolish notion that he loved her but was too alpha, too stoic, too reserved to say the words. She’d thought he’d shown his love in every way that mattered, and because she believed that he loved her, the words hadn’t been important to her. Only that he did love her. It was enough. Had been enough. But it had all been nothing more than fantasy, and she had only herself to blame for immersing herself in a dream world, ignoring the harsh reality, and for not seeing the truth until it was too late to protect herself from utter devastation.

She breathed a sigh of relief when the plane taxied to the small FBO building where her parents would be waiting to drive her home. Oh, please let her keep it together, at least until Silas and Maddox said good-bye and climbed on the plane to return to New York. Then and only then would she allow herself to cry in her mother’s arms. She wouldn’t humiliate herself more than she already had by losing it in front of Drake’s men. Her pride had already suffered irreparable damage when she’d begged Drake on her knees, in front of his men,
begged
him to believe her, to listen to her. Oh, how she’d begged, only for her pleas to fall on deaf ears. She might as well have been talking to stone because that was what Drake had become the moment the asshole cop had wrongly named her their informant.

Tears burned like acid and she clenched her teeth, refusing to break down, refusing to fall apart in front of Silas and Maddox.

“Evangeline,” Maddox said in a quiet, somber tone.

She turned her head, her gaze briefly skittering over his face before she focused on a point beyond his right shoulder.

“We’re here, sweetheart. Your parents are waiting just outside for you.”

When she would have risen, Silas was there, his hand curling underneath her elbow to help her up. He and Maddox assisted her down the stairway that had been pushed to the plane door.

Her parents stood a few feet away, but Maddox motioned them to give him, Evangeline and Silas just a moment. Her father nodded from his wheelchair, his lips pressed tightly together as he critically surveyed his daughter’s appearance.

She knew she looked a wreck, but why lie by disguising all signs of her devastation? She’d just ruin her makeup and hairdo the minute she cried all over her mother.

Maddox took one of her hands, holding it loosely between his own, and expelled a deep sigh that was surprisingly sad sounding.

“Evangeline, look at me,” he said gently.

She closed her eyes, tears pricking the corners. Oh God. She couldn’t do this.

“Babe, look at me, please? Can you not even look at me? Are you so angry with us too?”

The words sounded raw with pain and regret, apology in his voice. Her eyes flew open and immediately found his.

“No!” she denied forcefully.

She glanced at Silas to see if he also assumed she was angry with him. His expression was unreadable. Except . . . his eyes. They looked pained. Raw. Exposed. It shocked her because he was always so inscrutable.

“This is hard,” Evangeline choked out, momentarily squeezing Maddox’s hand.

“I know,” Maddox murmured. “Come, give me a hug. Your parents are anxious to greet you and your mother wants to fuss over you.”

She threw herself into Maddox’s arms and despite her vow not to cry, hot tears trailed down her cheeks as she absorbed the solid strength of Maddox’s embrace.

“You and Silas are the dearest friends I’ve ever had,” she whispered. “I’ll never forget you or your kindness. And your support. It means the world to me.”

Maddox pressed a tender kiss to her hair as he pulled away. Then he trailed his finger down her wet cheek, pushing a damp strand of her hair behind her ear.

“You are a remarkable woman, Evangeline. I’m grateful to have known you.”

She gave him a shaky smile before he nudged her in Silas’s direction.

“There’s someone else who would like to say good-bye,” Maddox murmured.

Evangeline took one hesitant step and then another. And then Silas simply opened his arms and she threw herself forward into his crushing embrace. His arms were like steel bands around her, and he shook as he hugged her fiercely.

“I’ll miss you so much,” she choked out.

“I’ll miss you, doll,” he said in a voice thick with emotion. “Take care of yourself and the little one.”

Then he drew away and tipped her chin up with his fingers until she looked directly into his eyes.

“If you ever need anything. If you just want to hear a friendly voice or just need to talk, you have my number. You get me?”

She nodded, tears sliding unchecked down her face. She glanced down and the flash of the diamond ring Drake had given her caught her eye and then blurred when more tears flooded her eyes.

Her engagement ring. Her very last material tie to Drake. She’d
forgotten all about it. Slowly she slid it from her finger. She didn’t need it. She had her baby and it was all the reminder of Drake she’d ever need.

She held the ring out to Silas, her voice cracking when she spoke. “Give this back to Drake, please.”

“Any message?” Silas asked softly.

She shook her head. “There’s nothing to say,” she said sadly.

“Take care, doll. Maddox and I are only a phone call away. Remember that.”

She tried to smile, but it was hard when she was dying on the inside, her heart breaking into a million jagged pieces.

“You and Maddox better take care of yourselves,” she admonished. “And Drake. Take care of him too.”

It hurt to say his name. It was like a physical blow that unsteadied her. Maddox curled his hand underneath her arm and then slipped her beneath his shoulder.

“Come on, sweetheart. Your parents are waiting.”

Despite her vow not to fall apart until she was well away from Maddox and Silas and in her mother’s loving arms, she wept the moment her mother reached for her.