Don't... 04 Backlash (4 page)

But in the art
gallery, a wry smile had touched Jan’s lips in the same moment that
the art discussion had pissed Gray off, and in many ways it had
settled him. Jan had seen through the ignorance of the man, and the
need to make a few people disappear had come and gone within the
wake of a weary smile. Jan hadn’t even corrected the man, and the
difference between them both was there: the gentleman, then
Gray.

It had been
good to see him that day. But where Jan had been quick to interpret
this work on the day in question, he struggled to place it now. And
that was a concern.

Jack
seemed to come from nowhere, although the Tigger footfalls on
granite stairs gave him away a little too much. He finished
wrapping the black tie around his throat, more content with letting
the loose ends rest on his shirt. He always seemed to carry
that
fuck getting
dressed, we’ll get naked soon enough
look about him, even if it was unconscious most
times.

“You look
good.” Jack came in close to Jan, his arm also slipping under
Gray’s jacket to stroke his back and no doubt keep his triad close.
He rested his head against Jan’s, briefly closing his eyes as
another touch cuddled Jan in close too. “Smell...” Jack took a deep
breath, shifting slightly as if to climb into Jan’s soul. “You
smell so much better, baby.”

Jan still
fought with the origins of the painting, only looking at Jack when
his name was called.

“You okay,
breakdown?” Jack frowned, his hand finding Jan’s neck and stroking
gently.

“
It’s
getting on for nine, Jack.” Jan looked back at the painting, then
frowned at the door. “Gray’s got work in the morning, I’m...
I’m...” Gray felt the brush of thumb at the back of his hand from
Jan. He wanted out, and that touch was Jan giving a very
polite
stop
this
please.

Jack flicked a
look at Gray. Shifting black hair from his eyes, he pulled Jan into
him. “You tired, breakdown? You know, whether it’s here or a
nightclub, doesn’t really matter. I can just as easily get you some
hot cocoa topped off with marshmallows. Spider-Man pyjamas... big
bunny slippers to flop around in?”

Jack got an
elbow in the ribs and he winced, rubbing at the fake damage as Jan
finally found a chuckle. “Funny. This taking the piss thing you
rely on, Harrison? Stop it,” said Jan.

Jack flashed a
grin. “I was being serious.” He winced. “Which is slightly
concerning, considering the thought of loving you in Spider-Man PJs
is twisted, even by my standards.”

Gray eased a
touch along Jack’s slender hip as he moved in close to Jack’s ear.
“He needs home, Jack.”

Closing his
eyes, Jack brushed his cheek against Gray’s and Gray resisted the
natural instinct to shift and let him touch. All too easily the
instinct finally won over, and Gray nudged back at Jack’s cheek,
asking... needing to be intimate, if only for a minute. Jack
shifted a touch and Gray eased the hair from Jack’s neck and
feathered a kiss into the curve of his throat.

“Hmm.” Jack
sounded distracted. “A 9:00 p.m. precise call to bed. Showing your
age, mukka,” he said, finally looking down and patting at Gray’s
stomach.

“So said the
old guy in his thirties now.” That came off Jan and earned a thin
smile from Gray.

“Carry it on
siding with him, Richards. He’s old. I’m—”

“Yeah, an
adult,” said Gray, pulling away slightly. “Say it often enough,
throw a bit of pixie dust on it, take off your tights, and it might
just help you work some magic on your street cred, Jack.”

Jack lowered
his look. “I don’t wear fucking tights... they’re... man stockings,
under my coveralls, and there to keep my bollocks warm when I’m
under a car, on the floor.” He’d taken to wearing them lately.

“Yeah? You
order via Amazon or have a particular ladies lingerie section you
prefer?” asked Jan. “And how many pairs do you have ordered in rows
in your drawers?”

“One, maybe
three.”

“Hah! Got you,
Jacky boy.” Jan’s look darkened.

“What?” said
Jack.

“Nothing.” A
slight blush burned Jan’s cheek.

Jack levelled a
finger. “That head of yours goes anywhere near fucking tights, high
heels, and a satin skirt....”

Jan’s smile
deepened at about the same time as his blush turned blood-red.
“Just a thought,” he said quietly.

“Oh well...
thoughts.” Jack slid up close to Jan and slipped an arm around his
shoulder. “Tell me more about these... thoughts.”

How Jack played
Jan like this, and how Jan bit back, was good to see. But the
smiles and playful gazes didn’t quite reach “normal”. Gray saw it
in how Jack called it a night now and headed back over to the
stairs after kissing at Jan’s cheek.

“Boring
fuckers,” Jack shouted, sounding light-hearted enough, and Gray
almost smiled. Go back seven months, he’d have fucked that mouth
out of Jack, with Jack calling him out on doing just that. And
yeah, the temptation would have been there to pull Jan a little
closer and corrupt his vanilla look, fuel that need for them both
to fuck Jack.

Only they’d
both been held in the wrong hold, disjointed and broken down where
only echoes remained. Gray was in that mix somewhere. A part of him
hated himself for it, for how stepping into the public eye beyond
MI5 had him wanting to close the door too.

That put his
Master Dom skills just where in all of this shit?

Gray hid in the
silence that fell. Jan seemed happy enough to study the painting
again, and Gray stayed with him, his hold a little closer now.
“C’mon,” he said, eventually tugging him away. “I’ll let Brennan
know it’s a no for tonight.”

“Yeah,” mumbled
Jan, glancing over his shoulder. “Sounds good.”

Jack was right;
Jan looked good in suit trousers, casual T-shirt, and jumper. He
smelled even better. Go back five months, Jack hadn’t been able to
stomach Jan being so close, not without throwing up. Care in the
psychiatric unit had helped Jack face that, and the soft smile
touching Jan’s lips said he’d caught how Jack had taken time to
breathe him in, but still he paused now, waiting for Jack to go up
to bed first, making all that soft heart slip and falter.

He’d follow, as
he did now, but it was at a slower pace. Closer to Gray, farther
behind Jack.

As Gray pushed
through to his master bedroom, only the en suite bathroom light
made its way into the bedroom, arcing over the pale carpet as the
sound of Jack taking a shower drifted over. He was finding comfort
in some old routines, sometimes more so than even Jack’s OCD levels
would deem normal, but they both let him find them.

Easing a smile
back at Jan seeing him look for Jack, Gray went over to his bedside
unit and started unclipping his sidearm. He liked to sleep naked as
a rule and pull whoever shared his bed in close, skin on skin, but
lately his sidearm was kept closer. Jan glanced over, and the focus
on the gun said he needed Gray to keep it closer. Jan had kept the
full security of the Masters’ Circle, with a few MI5 ops thrown
into the mix when he’d had to travel long distance, and his home
had been kitted out with full CCTV and panic buttons. It gave him
every security, but just how well had he coped of a night when he
was alone? Jack hadn’t been alone, not where he’d been, and Jan’s
long gaze at Gray’s firearm cried every hate and hurt at the
longevity of those dark nights spent alone.

Another fuck-up
on his part. He knew that.

With how Jack
always ducked into the spare room to change and put on pyjama
bottoms over the past month, echoed by Jan now, Gray also covered
up, opting for black silk pyjamas himself. Jan’s were cotton, and
the soft soul was only left shrugging a smile at the barrage of
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles doing battle over them. Another
birthday gift from Jack. Apparently. “No Spider-Man?”

“Hey.” Jan’s
blush was deep. “He’s on about buying you a pair,” said Jan,
pulling back the covers when Gray failed to make it obvious just
how he needed to... burn some artwork of his own right there along
with Jack, if Jan mentioned that again.

“Okay,” said
Jan, laughing softly as he got in bed. “I’ll have a word in his
ear. Try and get him to go for the BDSM badass option.” Jan’s life
faded a touch, his smile petering out, and giving a frown, he
pulled the covers up over him, now facing away from Gray. Gray
couldn’t put the comment in context, but after hanging his clothes
for dry cleaning, he went over and brushed down the length of Jan’s
arm. “You all right?”

“Hm,” mumbled
Jan, already fighting the pull of sleep and losing.

“I’m going to
check in with security,” said Gray. “They will have had time to
oversee any reports, then I’ll be back. Try and get some
sleep.”

Jan nodded, or
tried to at least. Then as Jan faded, Gray didn’t realise he’d
delayed moving, opting for another brush of hand down Jan’s arm
until Jan shivered.

Somewhere along the line, you fell in love with him, didn’t
you?

Gray frowned,
the confusion from Jack as he’d said that to Jan unsettling life
around him again.

Over the
past year, Jan had slipped in between him and Jack, barely noticed.
“Gentle Jan” Gregory had called him. Only not when it came to Jack.
Not—“
So loving,
Gray. Jack just wanted to hide, to stay close. Not tough, not so
fucking tough. And Vince said he answered all of that tenderness by
raping him with a fucking baseball bat...”

Never when it
came to Jack.

Jan had caught
such a horrific backlash sleeping between them. Did Jack know what
Jan was capable of? That he’d smashed into Vince’s jaw, shattering
bone, and wouldn’t have stopped hitting? Would Jack close his eyes
to that too?

Gray refused
to. Part of him liked that Jan wouldn’t crumble, but the bigger
part hated just how much he’d corrupted Jan’s look without even
knowing it. But—

Somewhere along the line, you fell in love with him, didn’t
you?

Gray let his
touch linger just a moment longer there on Jan’s arm, then left him
to the sound of the shower playing, and eased the door shut behind
before going into the hall and hitting the intercom. He made a call
to Brennan first, letting him know to shut things down at the
nightclub. With security, they reported nothing out of the
ordinary. Ed would be back around 2:00 a.m. from Mrs. Booth’s;
perimeter control was in place in case Jack slipped into old habits
and went “walking”, but other than that... nothing.

Yet still the
sidearm slept close to hand.

He headed back
through to the bedroom and water hitting tile still sang in the
air. Gray looked at his watch before slipping it off. Jan was
asleep, the soft rise and fall of his chest giving him away. Jack
had been in the shower for twenty-five minutes now, and Gray
frowned over towards the half-open bathroom door and the steam
breathing through it.

Keeping his
footfalls light for Jan’s sake, he went over, needing a shave. The
rough stubble look he’d taken on lately wouldn’t go unnoticed at
Thames House tomorrow, and he rubbed at it as he buried a yawn. As
he pushed on through, black granite tile was cool under foot
despite the heat off the shower, but he barely felt it as he
noticed Jack.

Stood by the
unit, hands resting either side, Jack was looking at something in
the sink. Gone was his sleeveless V-shirt, but he still wore his
black suit trousers, feet now bare too.

Gray glanced at
the shower. Towels had been laid out, along with a neat row of
Jack’s assortment of shower gel, shampoo, and soap. He’d usually
use each a couple of times, repeating, rinsing, repeating. But all
stood closed and unused now.

He looked back
over his shoulder to where his watch usually rested on his bedside
unit.

Twenty-five
minutes.

Christ.

Going over to
Jack, Gray rested his hands on the slim, toned hips, then let his
head find the back of Jack’s. “You here with me, stunner?”

Just the patter
of water fell on tile and Gray slipped an arm around Jack’s waist.
Nothing came, forcing Gray to shift his stance, get in closer, pull
Jack back to him, breathe some life into the ghost, then—

“’M here,
mukka.”

Jack’s voice
sounded slurred, muted, as though he was talking after a heavy
night drinking and was trying not to show it. He’d had nothing but
coffee tonight, and Gray caught Jack’s shiver, his fall back into
sync with life.

“Easy,” said
Gray, quietly.

Jack dipped his
head, his grip on the edge of the bathroom unit whitening his
knuckles.

“Screwed that
shit up with the nightclub, huh?” he mumbled, and Gray frowned,
keeping quiet. “Jan didn’t need tonight. He’s so fucking tired
lately, just wanting to sleep... and... I forced it, tried to push
him back to normal and... shit,” said Jack, and he met the grip
Gray had around his waist, almost holding on for fear of losing his
grip on everything else in life.