Don't... 04 Backlash (47 page)

“
You
think I did that? You think I’d hurt you—like that?” Stood in the
gallery, Gray moved in, feeling the blood coat his fingers as he
stroked at Jack’s hip, the cut-away scar... “Fuck, you’re so lost,
kid.” He shifted slightly, screwing his eyes shut. “...Hurts too
much, so fucking much now, Jack. Mercedes—”

“Mercedes
fucking Benz.” Jack said it so quietly, lost to his own memories,
and another tear worked free. “I know where you go to sometimes,
mukka.” The smile there bought back the ghost. “Press play, please.
What’s on the screen doesn’t come close to how it hurts looking at
you sometimes.”

Gray held the
remote up. “This stops the moment I see it’s too much. If it moves
past a point where you can’t call hurt and you struggle to breathe,
I’ll call it for you. We clear?”

Jack gave a
short, sharp nod, his gaze not shifting from the screen. “It’s the
video of the rape and branding,” he said flatly, that resigned tone
coming in hard, and Gray put the remote in his pocket and went up
close.

“Safe word,” he
said quietly, now nose-to-nose with Jack.

“Mercedes.”

Gray brushed a
hand at his cheek. “External safe word?” he said gently.

“Fucking
Mercedes Benz.” Jack choked a smile. “Please.”

Gray cupped the
back of his neck, pulling their heads together and exhaling slowly.
“Tell me to stop, Jack. Tell me to run the fuck away and take you
and Jan with me. You’re all that matter to me.”

“No we’re not,
mukka.” Jack twisted his head to look at Jan and Jan shifted,
taking a step forward, but Jack shook his head, keeping him there
in someone’s hold for now. “Press play.” He looked back. “Just
please press fucking play and stop it for us.”

Gray shifted
and took the remote; feeling the buttons under the pad of his
thumb, he pressed play.

There was
nothing at first, just quiet in the hall, then the sound of a
bedroom door eased open, the scuffle of feet was heard as Jan was
dragged into the darkness, then Jan’s cry—

“
Jack.”

Jack jolted,
instantly pulling to get away and causing the remote to fall from
Gray’s hand. Gray went in cupping Jack’s face, heads now pressed
together.

“Don’t...”
Jack’s eyes were shut tight as hands tried to pull Gray’s grip
away. Gray backed him up a few paces, hands covering Jack’s ears,
enough so he only heard what Gray whispered.

“I’m here,
okay?”

“I know, mukka,
I—” Vince had crouched by Jack in the DVD. Gray knew it, still by
brutal still. So did Jack, and now Vince stroked at his arm and
said...

“Break his arm,
baby...”

Jan cried out
in the video. “Wasn’t me, Jack... Wasn’t us. Stop.... Body and
soul. Love you body and soul, Jack.”

“
Don’t... kiss me anymore...”
Through all of the hurt, the drugs, the
deception... Jack hadn’t gone for Jan to hurt him, instead he’d
held onto him in the darkness and whispered,
“Please. Don’t touch me
anymore....”

“You touching
Jan intimately? Boy?” Vince dragged Jack off Jan, forced him to his
knees, and fastened him by collar and chain to a hook in the floor.
A kick in the ribs made sure Jack found the floor properly. “Did I
say you could touch anyone intimately... boy?”

“Fuck...
fuck...” Tears streaked free from Jack, and Gray glanced back at
Trace. “Stops.” He gave a nod. “This fucking stops now—”

“No.” A hand
gripped Gray’s jaw, pulling him back to Jack. He had his eyes open
and the fear there in grey moons caused Gray to groan. “ You...” he
said quickly, and Gray had a full taste of Jack as Jack came in
hard with a kiss. “Please. Don’t let that bastard hold on. Don’t
let him fucking hold onto me for too long.”

The second kiss
tore at him, but as Jack snaked his arms around Gray’s neck and
held on, it shattered every part of Gray. “I can’t see it,” Jack
whispered, eyes still closed. “Hearing is enough. Hearing is—”

“For pissing
your Dom off,” Vince said into the hall.

“Fuck....” Jack
gripped Gray’s hair.

Gray kept a low
whispering in Jack’s ear, something in his own first language, a
single line of Welsh marked on Jack’s hip. Breathing was so
controlled, so well-practiced that Gray knew Jack was fighting
reacting; he was trying to control the reaction by flat-lining, but
then—

“
Mercedes... Mercedes fucking Benz,”
cried Jan as Jack writhed from the iron
burning skin for the second time in the DVD.
“Gray, for godssake,
please.”

“
Fucking cunts...,
” cried Jack, and Gray made sure all the hurt was grounded
on him. “Didn’t have to fucking make him hurt. Not Jan. Didn’t have
to—”

Jan cried out
and thumped the hall wall. Trace was there with Dare a moment
later, trying to calm him as Gray fought between going over to Jan
and staying here with Jack. Craig’s uncross of arms from his chest
said he was close to calling enough for both of them, and Gabe
moved closer to Gray, his quietness and tension focused on
Jack.

“Jesus, mukka,”
Jack said so quietly, all breathing out of control and grief
dampening his cheeks. “They didn’t have to fucking hurt him too.
Soft lad, such a fucking soft soul.”

On screen,
after the branding, Jack was pinned to the floor and Henry came in
with a knife, pressing it against Jack’s fingers. Gray remembered
Kes’s image, the writing that came with it of—

“Christ, Vince.
Stop him, for fuckssake.”

Jack cried out
hearing an echo of his words, of his own denial of Gray, of
choosing the rapist over two lost lovers. “Didn’t mean it,” he
rushed out into Gray’s ear. “Didn’t fucking mean it, mukka—”

“I know... I
know—”

“Just needed to
stop it hurting, just needed—”

“
Not
yours, never fucking yours,”
Jan cried from the DVD, and it was probably the
first time Jack had heard it because he fought so hard to get free,
to run now and get at Jan as Jan cried it out again into the
hall.

“
Not
fucking yours, you bastards
.”

And all
to Vince’s whisper of,
“Still think he’s yours...? Gray’s? That he gives a fuck
about you outside of a dream?”

“Time out,”
Jack whispered heatedly, and it tore Gray apart to shake his head.
“Tell me your safe word, it stops.”

And it was
there, bleeding into his eyes, pupils so wide and taking everything
in, the shaking going on his body. “You don’t let that bastard near
him, Gray. You hear me? You keep Jan safe.”

“Do you need
this to stop?”

“
No
.”

The fight there
forced Gray in close, and he dug a hand into Jack’s hip, where the
tattoo still burned, and he forced a cry out of Jack as he hurt
skin. “This, it’s such a good fucking hurt. You remember that,
because I’ll be there when we’re coloured into your soul,
stunner—”

Such a rough
kiss came, one that took every breath, life, words of threat and
promise, and made it linger and play with all of Jack’s.

“
Bleed... make them fucking bleed, baby.”

A sob choked
free at Jan’s change from crying hurt to calling out murder, then
it fell deathly quiet as Jack suddenly broke away. “Stop.”

“Stop?”

“Fucking stop.”
Pupils weren’t dilated, just filled with heavy confusion. “Can’t do
this.”

“Safe word?”
said Gray, the abrupt change a concern.

“Mercedes-Benz.”

Gray eased back
and nodded over at Trace, at Craig, and Gray picked up the remote
and switched off the video as Craig came over and started to check
Jack over, running through a set of questions they both seemed to
know by heart now.

“Name?”

“Jack.”

“Age?”

“Going on fifty
by the...” Another dig of fingers into his head. “Feel... feel of
things.”

“Where are
we?”

Jack shivered.
“Hall. Gray’s manor, London, England, planet fucking Earth.”

Craig smiled.
“Today’s date?”

Jack seemed
unsteady and he gripped Craig’s arm, pushing up his sleeve
slightly. “Friday, 12th.”

“Okay good.”
Craig glanced at Gray. “I’m calling enough here; his heart rate is
tachycardic. He needs to get his head down.”

Gray nodded.
“Get him up to my room. I’ll be there in a minute. You know where
you’re going, right?” Craig nodded, and Gray gave a rub at Jack’s
arm and a kiss to his cheek that Jack turned into, made sure the
kiss lasted. Gray pulled back slightly at the brush of tongue. Then
he headed over to Jan.

“Jan. Look at
me.” As Jan did, Gray pulled him in close, feeling Jan’s fast
heartbeat match his own. “You okay?”

“No.” And the
shaking going on with his body cried it out. It wasn’t so much
grief, just pure anger that needed a release point.

“Gray, where
does this leave Sam—”

Jack had pulled
away from Craig, out of the hold on his arm, and a look at them, he
came over, frowning at Jan.

Gray put a hand
out, stopping him. “Sleep.”

“Hm?” That
confusion still laced Jack’s eyes as Gray levelled his gaze on
him.

“You said you
needed sleep.”

He nodded at
Gray, but his look was at Jan, for Jan. All Jan.

Gray was back
with him too. “We find out another way to see what codes Martin
saw. Mase was there in that garage, too, along with his father.
Whatever happened, it must have been after Martin fucked Mase,
after he let him and his father go and saw your mother in a back
room. If we find out what codes Martin saw after that, what he did
with them, we get to Kes, the one behind yours and Jack’s
rape.”

Jan looked at
him a little strange, as if not understanding why he’d said all
that. Jan knew all that. “If we don’t?”

“If we don’t,
Kes finds out this trigger didn’t work either, so he’ll, if he is a
he, he’ll make sure Jack doesn’t walk away from the next time they
rape him. We still have a lead, though; the name of the man who
recommended you to Jack. Who was it again?”

Jan’s anger was
only amplified. “James Matheson. I told you that.”

“Good.” There
was quiet, then a glance back saw Craig pull Jack away. “Craig,
just hang on a minute.” The man stopped, then frowned as Jack
carried on.

“What?” said
Craig. When Gray didn’t answer and Craig went to push through the
doors again, after Jack, Gray said the same thing, “Wait a minute.”
Again Craig frowned, not understanding. Then Gray called Trace over
as Jack disappeared.

“Problem?”

Gray shifted
and pulled Jan into Trace.

“You look after
him like your life depends on it. That goes for Greg and Ed
too.”

Trace frowned,
then he seemed to catch on the same time Jan did. “Do I need to get
them to the Oval?” said Trace.

Gray nodded.
“Take Craig. He has methadone for Jan. Anyone but me approaches,
they’re not friendly. Clear?”

“Okay. How long
do we stay there?”

“Until the
morning. You hear nothing from me, you take Jan with you back to
America. Clear?”

“
What
?” Jan
sputtered, and Gray instantly went in for a hard kiss.

“Stay safe,
Jan. Please. I need to sort this, but I need you to stay safe and
out of harm’s way to do it. Are we clear?” Gray pushed away, unable
to see Jan answer. He gave a nod at Craig as he left him frowning
at the door.

The shuffle of
wood against wood came from the reception hall, and Gray paused to
listen for a moment before heading on in from the lounge. Resting
against the doorframe, he watched as a touch sorted through the
mail desk close to the door. A heavy sigh came, then a body was
straightened as a look went to the door, then back to the floor.
Again that confusion laced grey eyes, maybe tinged with being a
little pissed off now.

“You moved the
Mercedes keys from the hook here.”

“This morning,”
said Gray. “Despite all of my security, Jack’s never been happy
with leaving them in close proximity to the door.” He gave half a
smile. “That was a pretty lousy party trick with needing to look at
Craig’s watch to get the date.”

Grey eyes found
his and all fear bled away. “Damn. You got me. How you doin’ there,
Welsh?”

Gray folded his
arms. “Fucking peachy.”

Martin
laughed softly. “You’ve been fucking Jack for too long. You told
him about us yet, by the way?” That wicked smile. “You want me
too?” Gray felt something slip as black hair fell across
Jack’s
look just then, despite such a
slight smile at the corners of those lips. “Was it the kiss at the
end of it? Y’know, back there in the hall?” Martin came a little
closer, then a little more, then Gray let Martin step in really
close. A look stayed on Gray’s lips and Martin licked at his own.
“Too much tongue?” More of a flicker of a smile. “Not
enough?”

Gray removed
the touch that started to sneak into his suit jacket. Martin shook
his head, pulled his hand away from Gray’s, then gave a deliberate
shift back under Gray’s jacket. The sigh was contented, and a
breath brushed Gray’s neck, starting from the back of the ear down
to the curve of his neck.

“Did I ever say
I was sorry?” A single soft kiss brushed just above his collar,
pausing for a moment before he tongued his way along Jack’s
necklace. “For following you to Wales after fucking you with that
knife?” He could sense Martin’s smile. “You tell Jack about that
too, or is that just between you, me, and the twisted darkness of
Welsh home shores? How the real bastard in you came out to fuck
with me?”