Don't Hate the Player...Hate the Game (31 page)

When she finally glanced up at me, there was such
hurt in her eyes. I stepped forward just in time for her to tip
forward and pass out. I stared up at the sky and rolled my eyes.
“Fuck my life!” I grumbled as I gathered her up in my arms and
started towards the Jeep.

***

Holding Maddie, I couldn’t unlock the door,
so I had to ring the doorbell. Thankfully Mom, rather than Greg,
answered the door. At the sight of me carrying an unconscious
Maddie in my arms like Fabio in some trashy romance novel cover,
her eyes widened. “What in the world?” she demanded.

“She got drunk at Blaine’s party and passed out,” I
grunted as I stepped through the foyer.

Mom slapped my arm. “Noah! How could you let her get
drunk?”

I rolled my eyes. “Jesus Mom, I didn’t force her to
drink it.”

“Don’t say, ‘Jesus’,” she admonished.

“Whatever.”

“Well, you should’ve been watching her better.”

“Presley needed to talk to me,” I replied.

Mom arched a dark eyebrow skeptically at me.

“
Yes
, she really needed to talk to me,” I
said.

Mom sighed. “Get her settled on the couch and then
you and I are going to have a long talk about this party,” she
ordered, in a no-nonsense tone.

I didn’t argue. Instead, I gently laid Maddie down on
the couch. I pulled the mauve throw off the back and draped it over
before rubbing her cheek tenderly When I turned around, Mom’s
expression had completely changed. Instead of being in a pissed
Rambo mode, she was gaping at me.

“What?” I asked.

“You love her,” she murmured.

My eyes bulged. “No, I, uh…shit!”

Mom smiled knowingly at me. “Yes, you do. I can’t
believe I didn’t see it until just now.”

Maddie stirred on the couch, and I stiffened. “Can we
please discuss this somewhere else?”

Mom nodded and motioned for the sun room. I followed
her out there and shut the door behind me.

“There’s nothing wrong with you loving her, honey”
Mom said, softly.

“I know that.”

“Then why are you fighting it so much?”

Grimacing, I jerked a hand through my hair.
“Because….of Jake.”

Mom’s brows furrowed in confusion. “What does Jake
have to do with Maddie?”

“Everything,” I muttered before plopped down in a
wicker chair across from Mom. “You know that night that Mr. Nelson
and I were in Jake’s room?”

She nodded.

“Well, we found something that was pretty shocking.”
From the look on her face, I could tell my mom was preparing
herself for anything considering it was Jake. “It was an engagement
ring.”

Well, maybe she hadn’t prepared herself for that.
“What?” she questioned in a high, pitched shriek.

I nodded. “Yeah. He had the box wrapped up in the
song lyrics to
You Were Always on My Mind”.

“But who in the world was Jake in love with?”

I drew in a painful, ragged breath. “Maddie.”

Mom widened her eyes. “You can’t be serious! Jake
Nelson, who was never faithful to a girl for over five minutes, was
in love with a preacher’s daughter?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t know
how
. Why do
any two people fall in love? It just happens.”

“You’re right, sweetie. That was a silly question.”
Mom cocked her head in thought. “And I suppose Jake did have his
good points.”

“And he changed,” I admitted.

“He did?”

“Yeah, in the last few months of his life. Then he’d
also told me he’d fallen in love, but he wouldn’t tell me who
because he hadn’t told the girl yet. I just never imagined it was
Maddie.”

She leaned forward and took my hand in hers. “But did
Maddie love Jake?”

Even though I knew the answer, I didn’t want the
words to leave my lips. “Yes, she did,” I murmured.

“And does Maddie love you?”

My gaze snapped to meet Mom’s. “What?”

Mom smiled. “You heard me.”

I got up from the chair and started pacing around. “I
don’t know if she does or not. I mean, I know she loved Jake—she
probably still does. Jesus, what kind a friend am I to hit on my
dead best friend’s girl?”

“But she wasn’t his girl, Noah,” Mom protested.

“Yeah, she was. He may not have openly acknowledged
it as well as he should, but he loved her. I thought he was
incapable of loving anyone but himself, but I was wrong.”

“Have you talked to Maddie about any of this?”

“No.”

“You haven’t told her about the ring?”

I couldn’t help squirming in my seat under Mom’s
intense glare. “No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I was waiting. I wanted to be sure it was
her before I said anything.”

Mom raised her eyebrows. “Waiting for what? For
Maddie to realize she liked you instead of Jake?”

I stared her before blinking a few times in
disbelief. How in the hell could she see through me so well?
“Maybe,” I muttered.

Crossing her arms over her chest, Mom said, “I’m
guessing you’ve known the ring belonged to Maddie for a long time,
but you didn’t want to tell her.”

“Yeah,” I muttered.

“But why?”

“Cause I’m a selfish prick!” I exclaimed rising out
of my chair.

Mom didn’t bother chastising my language. She knew I
was too upset. “Honey, you have to tell her about Jake. But most of
all, you have to tell her how you feel about her.”

I raised my eyebrows. “And just what am I supposed to
say? ‘Oh by the way, Maddie, deep down, Jake was in love with you.
How do I know? Oh, because he bought you a fat diamond engagement
ring. But I guess it’s a good thing he’s dead because guess what?
I’m in love with you’!”

Mom gave me an exasperated look. “No, I think you can
do it better than that.”

I sunk back down in the chair. “I’ve never…felt this
way about anybody like I do Maddie. I’m…afraid.”

“Of being shot down?”

“Of losing her,” I murmured.

Mom sat down beside me. Her eyes welled with tears.
“Oh sweetie, I’ve always wanted you to be in love with someone. I
was so afraid I’d caused you to be jaded and bitter towards love.
I’m so happy you’ve found it. But more than anything in the world,
I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Thanks, Mom,” I said. Then I shook my head. “But
you’re right. I have to tell Maddie the truth. It isn’t fair
keeping all this from her. She deserves better than that.” I
glanced back at the living room. “As soon as she wakes up, I’ll
tell her.”

Mom smiled. “Good. You’ll feel better when you do.”
We stood up to start inside, but Mom doubled over. “Ouch!”

“Are you okay?”

She nodded. “Yeah, your little sister gets
temperamental this time of night. She must be hungry.”

I stared at her belly. “Want to feel her?” Mom
questioned.

Not just no, but HELL NO!
screeched in my
mind, but I bit my tongue. “Um, uh…” I finally muttered.

Mom laughed. “Only if you want to, Noah. I’m not
going to make you do it.”

I forced a smile to my lips as I prepared to conquer
the unknown. “Sorry. It’s just kinda weird thinking about it, but
yeah, why not. I’ll do it.”

She took my hand in hers and placed in on a
particular spot. I felt a tiny bump, bump under the surface. I
glanced up at Mom. “She’s pretty strong.”

“Yes, she is.”

“By those kicks, I guess she’s going to be the one to
inherit the Sullivan sports gene that I obviously missed out on,” I
mused.

“You didn’t miss out on the sports gene. You simply
chose not to do it.”

“Huh?”

“Don’t you remember playing T-Ball?”

“Yeah, and I sucked.”

Mom shook her head. “No, you didn’t. You were one of
the best players on the team.”

“I was?”

“Yes, you were.”

“Then why did I quit?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you were afraid of not measuring
up to your father, or maybe you were afraid of hurting me. Who
knows. Sometimes we just have two sides to us, Noah. One that we’re
willing to let the world see, and then the other that we hide deep
within ourselves.”

Mom’s words cut me to my soul. Maybe Jake and I
weren’t so different. He had hid a side of himself from
everyone—except for Maddie and Pastor Dan. So why would it be so
crazy to think I’d done the same thing with the part of me that was
like my dad.

Mom smiled. “As for your sister, she’s not hiding her
ability to be an accomplished dancer—I’m getting a tap dancer
vibe.”

“Maybe.”

“Do you know I can remember the first time I felt you
kick?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You do?”

Mom nodded. “It was right after your father told me
he didn’t love me, and he wasn’t going to marry me.”

“Seriously?”

“He’d strung me along for a few months after I told
him I was pregnant. Then he finally leveled with me. I was crying
so hard and all the sudden I felt you.” Tears welled in Mom’s eyes,
and she smiled. “It was like you were telling me in your own little
way that you’d always be here for me—no matter what happened.”

Wow, I was kinda overwhelmed. “Mom…”

She waved me away with her hand. “I’m sorry, sweetie.
I’m on hormone overload right now.”

“Well, that’s true, but I wanted to say-” I drew in a
deep breath. “I wanted to say thanks.”

Mom’s eyebrows furrowed together. “For what?”

“You know—for having me and for always loving me, no
matter what.”

My declaration sent Mom’s hormones skyrocketing. She
was laughing and crying at the same time as she pulled me into her
arms. “How did I get such a wonderful son?”

I fought the urge to argue with her that deep down I
was a real shit. A real screwed up mess and a half-assed version of
a man. But I kept my mouth shut.

Mom patted my back. “All right, I think that’s enough
on the shows of affection. We need to get to bed.”

After we walked back into the living room, Mom eyed
Maddie’s damp cami and underwear. “Let me get something to put on
her. She’d die of mortification to wake up in the morning
half-naked.” She turned and headed down the hall to her
bedroom.

I sat down on the couch next to Maddie, watching her
sleep. Her hair was still wet from swimming. As I pushed a stray
strand away from her face, my heart thudded in my chest.

Mom came back with a gown. She gave me a look. “Even
though you’ve practically seen everything, you can have the decency
to turn your back.”

“Well, I haven’t gotten to see everything,” I
countered, shooting Mom a sly smile.

She rolled her eyes. “God, what a typical man thing
to say.” She motioned to Maddie. “You can pull her up for me before
you turn around.”

“If you insist,” I replied. I peeled back the blanket
and gently grabbed Maddie’s shoulder’s pulling her forward. Once
Mom held Maddie’s shoulders, I turned my head, so I wouldn’t get a
glimpse at her bare breasts after Mom pulled off the cami. At the
sound of the fabric smacking to the floor, I jumped. I waited until
I knew Mom had pulled the pale blue gown over Maddie’s head. Once
she was clothed, I eased Maddie back down on the couch and covered
her up. She didn’t stir once.

Mom started for the stairs but then stopped.
“Coming?”

I shook my head. “I want to stay downstairs with her
in case she wakes up in a strange place and freaks out.”

She gave me a skeptical look, and I rolled her eyes.
“Oh come on, Mom! Give me a little credit that I’m not going to
molest a passed out girl!”

Mom nodded. “All right. Goodnight then. Come and get
me if you need anything.”

“Okay.”

I sat listening to Maddie’s small snores for what
felt like an eternity. Each time I would almost doze off, my mind
would begin whirling again, and I would wake up. I’d probably been
asleep maybe an hour when I snapped wide awake. There was something
I needed to do, so I grabbed my keys and headed for the door.