Don't... (20 page)

“Two ways to fuck-up, Jack,” said Gray. “If he fails and you pass, he’s out of your life as with any failed Dom. If you fail and he passes, Jan will be offered another sub, and you’ll remain with me.”

Offered? Jan wouldn’t take another sub. Would he? But then after knowing me only a few days, why would he sign a contract for me to be his sub after I’d hit him? I knew one thing, that the thought of another sub with Jan forced me to control my breathing and the will to “offer” to break the arm of any sub who tried to claim him.

“And you’re still failing to address a trainee Dom, Jack.” Gray’s eyes came alive. “Tie that into hitting Jan, you’re really pushing me today.”

Watching Gray for a moment longer, I looked at Jan. “What conditions,” it didn’t come easy in public like this, even doing it for Jan, especially doing it for Jan. “Sir?”

“Read your contract,” said Jan, and his hands went in his pockets. I picked the paper up off the desk and opened the envelope. There were three groups of papers; a copy for me, Gray, and Jan; each one containing four sheets and fastened at the edges with paperclips. On it were my personal details, Jan’s, everything I liked as a Master’s sub, my whole fucking sordid likes reduced to note format for Jan’s appraisal. Did he even understand half of the terms? The second page was Jan’s part of the contract, and I flicked mine away to get to his. After only the first highlighted clause, I frowned at Gray.

“Collaring?” I didn’t understand. “But....” With most fully trained subs it represented total commitment, care, something to be worked toward, even pleaded for. It wasn’t given lightly, it wasn’t earned easily. I hadn’t seen many subs collared, not in the Master’s Circle. It represented a Dom’s acknowledgement that his world revolved around his sub, and pretty much vice versa. I’d never thought about it; some things you just don’t ask Gray anyway, and he seemed unimpressed, even though I’d subbed for him for nine years now. So it was damn strange being given one now when I’d hit someone who was to become a trainee Dom.

Gray reached into his pocket and pulled out a collar. “Personally, I’d have had you whipped, caged, and held in the company of all five Masters for as many days to ensure you never touched him adversely again. Jan chose this.”

“Jan?” I still didn’t understand, and it must have shown.

“Most subs have worked to earn the right to wear this,” said Gray, “with you, Jan doesn’t want this contract to have a base of negative reinforcement encouraging your good behaviour, he wants to continue with positive reinforcement.” Gray made it clear with a thinning of the lips what he’d prefer, and that jolted me a little. What the hell did he have against collaring? Gray continued. “Jan wants to go into this showing that you both can move on, so the collar becomes your visual reminder of the commitment and respect you need to show to Jan in order to re-build his confidence, and it’s his reminder that you are committed to working at that.”

“The collar comes off for work,” said Jan, “and is to be worn for the next six weeks, with a review at that time to see if a longer period is warranted.”

I started to read through the rest of the collaring clause.

“You reside with me for that period,” Jan said as I read. “Unless I have guests, you wear nothing but the collar. But you do not question my orders or decisions. You show me the same respect as any Dom; your body is mine. You do not touch yourself without my permission; you do not come without my permission; you do not warm my bed until I say so, until I trust you enough to allow it.”

I briefly closed my eyes.

“Your safe word is always in place, and I will respect your use if ever you feel the need to call it.”

“What is your personal safe word to your Dom, Jack?” said Gray. It was always passed between trainee and Master’s sub in a Master’s presence so there could be no excuses later for failing to listen to it if it were ever called.

“Mercedes,” I said quietly.

“Mr. Richards, can you repeat that, please?” He did and Gray nodded. “Understand, Jan, Doms are in training, the Master sub usually isn’t, and if Jack says Mercedes at any time
you
must stop the scene. He’ll give you other sorts of feedback for problems that don’t require a complete stop. Plus, the MC’s system of a safe word is slightly more formal than most BDSM community safe words; if the Dom does not stop the scene, there is an additional safe word to alert my security. Jack, what is the Master Circle’s security safe word?”

“Mercedes Benz.”

“Jan, can you repeat that please?”

“Mercedes Benz.”

“Thank you. If Jack is heard to utter that, be aware that my security will end the scene, and they will do so with the sole aim of protecting my sub.”

Gray glanced at me.

“This contract is a little unusual even for the Masters.” He was back with Jan now. “Usually a trainee Dom comes with a certain level of aptitude for a Dom role, which means BDSM scenes are given a little more freedom at home and only observed via CCTV, complemented by a Master’s training at rare intervals away from the setting. With you, Jan, no BDSM scene will be permitted without a Master present. This is to help give you confidence and ensure equipment is used safely. Sex that does not incorporate any kind of bondage is permitted without a Master’s presence. Again, respect, trust, and compassion from both of you.”

Gray nodded at Jan.

“This is your Master’s clause,” said Jan, “for the first week you will wear a cock cage. This is purely to allow me time to adjust. The decision to remove it at any time is mine, as is the decision to extend that period of time. There is a list of duties you will be expected to follow to the letter. Break any aspect of the contract, you will be reprimanded with Gray there as supervisor.” He paused, maybe a little uncomfortable, but he’d been briefed on the basics by Gray, apparently. “I take the right of any Dom to punish you by any means I see fit if you do not respect the collar.”

“Because of your previous violence,” added Gray, “this contract is non-negotiable.”

Jan came over, pushing me up against the desk as he reached over for a pen. The friction of our bodies, cock against cock had me hard and reaching to brush my nose along his throat just to take in his scent. A hand under my jaw stopped me.

“His pleasure,” Gray pushed me away, and I felt the muscles strain in my neck. “Not yours.”

I muttered “sir” quietly, and Jan pulled back to look curiously between me and Gray.

“This isn’t about you, Jack,” said Gray, his tone more soothing. “It’s about going back to the basics: respect, trust, compassion. Keep that in mind.”

I looked down at the collar in his hands, then looked at the cut on Jan’s lip. If anyone was worth being collared for, it was Jan. Taking the pen from Jan’s hand, I signed all three copies, then slipped them back in the envelope. I took the collar from Gray and offered it to Jan, the contracts also now in Gray’s hand. The collar wasn’t contracted to be worn at work, and it was Jan’s position as Dom to remove and replace it outside of office hours. Jan took it, and then took something out of his pocket and handed it to Gray. This I’d wear now, and Gray, maybe more than Jan, knew how I fucking hated it.

Gray knelt in front of me and laid out the items to the cock cage on the floor. Unceremoniously unzipped and exposed within a few seconds, with Jan watching, learning, Gray expertly secured my cock in the cage and got to his feet. Stepping out of the way, he handed Jan the key.

Jan came close, and his eyes met mine as he reached a hand down and took the weight of the silver shaft in his hand. His groin dug into my thigh and he reacted as calmly as any fully-trained Dom claiming his sub.

“Trust,” he said. “Show me.”

I let him turn me around to face the desk, and I felt Jan’s breath brush down my neck. Coveralls were tugged off my shoulders, and Jan ran his hands under my T-shirt, pushing the material up my back. For a moment there was quiet, then almost as if he’d forgotten himself, Jan’s gentle brush of lips brushed over the rise of the whip marks. He murmured something; then Gray was next to him, pulling Jan back, and whispering in his ear.

The crinkle of plastic was heard; then I sucked in a pained breath feeling Jan push against me. I was still raw from Ben, and Jan was bigger. Something that at that moment worried the hell out of me.

“Easy,” murmured Jan. His hand brushed my hip, then slipped into the front of my coveralls to stroke at my balls. The moment he made contact, he breached my ass, then filled me all the way down to the root, forcing me up slightly.

“Ah.” It hurt like hell, and I gripped at the table more out of panic that it was some kind of cruel payback from Jan.

“I’m hurting him.” Jan groaned, although his voice was breathless, and he held himself still, his cock all thick and hard, but unwilling to carry on. I rested my head down on the table. Fool me for thinking he’d hurt me intentionally—this was Jan.

“It’s okay to hurt him,” Gray murmured quietly, and I felt Gray’s hand brush soothingly at my shoulder. “Pain, pleasure, he’ll control it. He always has. Then there’s his safe word if things go too far. Pay attention to him, and he won’t have to use it.”

Jan moaned softly.

“You need to find your control level, though, Jan,” said Gray. “Part of you knows it already. Use it.”

“Jesus.” That came from me as kisses haunted my back. Long, gentle strokes started deep in my ass just before Jan rested his forehead on my back, and then let his hand play devil between my thighs.

“Mine,” came a gentle whisper, just light and breathless against my skin—and then I cried out. Jan’s touch had me swelling hard against my cage, and was a torture all of its own, yet it was how all of his passion, all of his love, care, and attention, came on that single whispered word that blinded me to everything but him.

I surrendered body, mind, soul—the sort code to my bank account if he’d needed it, all just to hear him say that word again.

Jan curled over me, hands guiding mine to the table, twining our fingers, gently kissing my neck. “Just for me, Jack,” I heard whispered in my ear, “take this just for me.”

“Jan...” Pleasure twisted with hurt as the full push of my cock against the cage made me groan.

I couldn’t think of anything else, every focus went on not riding the pleasure, on forcing it away, all just to let Jan know I was his, that he had every part of me, that I could forgo my own pleasure, ride the pain, all to keep him close, all to let him take his pleasure and know he could do so safely.

“God, Jack, yes.” A kiss turned into a teasing bite on my shoulder, and his intensity as he took me increased. Slaps of his jeans against the flesh of my ass became sharper, the jolts of my body under his, more intense. “Fuck yes.”

The noises he made had me trembling, and I willed it to be over, I needed it to stop—him to stop. He felt too good, gave me too much of everything I needed, and I cried out again, my only defence before begging him to stop.

“Jack,” Jan choked as he came deep inside me. “Jesus.” He collapsed on my back. “Fuck me.” I could feel his pounding heart against me as his cock pushed out its last few ounces of come. Kisses feathered my back, and I couldn’t help but murmur as it continued to set my body alive. “For me. You took it,” breathed Jan. “Just—So fucking sexy, Jack. So fucking sex—”

He stilled, and something changed. All of his comfort was suddenly gone from my body, leaving me doubled over the table. A little lost, shaking, I pushed from the desk and tidied myself up.

“Gray has to set up the camera obs at my house tonight.” Hardly looking like he’d just fucked someone, Jan was tidy, over by the door and pulling it open. “I expect you back to help clean up the mess. You eat after I have, you go to sleep after I do.”

“Where,” reality hit a little hard. “Where am I sleeping, sir?”

“Nowhere near me.” That couldn’t have been colder. “Set up a camp-bed in one of the spare rooms. You’ll be staying there.”

“Jan,” called Gray as Jan turned to leave. Gray threw some keys at him and Jan cocked an eyebrow at Gray.

“Company car,” said Gray flatly. “Black Mercedes. Welcome to the community.”

Jan’s eyes narrowed in my direction; then he disappeared, leaving me alone despite Gray being there. Gray came over as I finished tidying myself up.

“You’re lucky to get this, Jack.”

I looked up at him as I fastened my zip and found his hand resting on my neck, the touch sending shivers down my side. I quickly buried it. “I know,” I said quietly. “Doesn’t stop me missing him, knowing what he can be like, though.”

“You did good.” A slight smile ghosted the curve of Gray’s lips, far from touching his eyes. “I’ve seen you surrender, Jack, but never so fucking quickly, not like that. You offer him everything already, you just need to acknowledge that, then remind him why it’s important. Compassion, trust, respect.”

I snorted a cold laugh and looked away. “After what I’ve done?” I muttered quietly, and Gray reached a hand to the back of my neck.

“Concentrate on the now,” he said quietly. “Jan needs his safety, Jack. The contract gives him that.” Gray’s blue eyes went decidedly cold. “You wearing the collar shows him you’re serious. Don’t fuck this up for him. You look fucking gorgeous together.”

His touch was like a cool breeze across the hardest shaft, my body automatically reacting to just who this man was, and I almost,
almost,
ran with the need to touch him back. Screwing my eyes shut, I backed away. It was the wisest option, especially just by hearing his change in breathing; he was in full Mastering mode.

“You’ll need some things from yours,” said Gray, and when I glanced up, he was already over by the door. “Don’t piss me off anymore and be late.”

Gray left with my contract in hand, and I went over to the window. Jan had waited for Gray, and I stood there watching as they stood talking for a while. Hands in pockets, Jan’s shoulders seemed to drop, and he looked away from Gray, the garage, life in fucking general. Gray looked in the opposite direction, then reached an arm around his shoulder and whispered something to him.

No. I wouldn’t fuck this up for him. I’d wear his collar until I made it right, and I’d wear it fucking beyond if he asked it.