Don't Read in the Closet volume one (37 page)

Jackson dipped
his head in a nod of acknowledgment. “I think so, too. I’m sorry things took
this turn.” He looked at Ash. “I didn’t come here to fight with you.” He
glanced over the others. “Hope you have a good set.”

He looked again
to Ash, and at seeing the hardness in his gaze, he turned away and jogged down
the steps, closing the bus’s door once outside. He strode quickly away, but as
thoughts of what happened filled his mind, his pace slowed.

That would go
down as one of his biggest screw-ups of all time. He should’ve known something
like that would
happen
the instant he and Ash met in
person. With all the tension that’d built between them through the media, it
wasn’t as if he expected them to embrace like long lost friends. Still, he
hadn’t quite expected that much of a blowup.

He lifted a
hand to his chest, rubbing over his heart. What he expected even less was how
he felt about it. The hurt at Ash’s reaction to him hit with so much intensity
and went so deep. Why did Ash have to be like that? All he wanted from him
was…was what? What
did
he want from Ash? Why had he really wanted to
talk to him?

Jackson shook
his head. The answer to those questions wasn’t something he wanted to face, and
with how things turned out, it didn’t look like he’d ever have to.

CHAPTER 3

His plate of
untouched pizza forgotten on the table, Ash stared out the tour bus’s window,
not noticing anything beyond. He vaguely heard the bus door open, but didn’t
bother looking to see who’d come on.

Standing with
his hands on his hips, Jeremy exhaled a loud sigh. “You were sitting like that two
hours ago when we left. If you were going to do nothing but stare at the
trailer next door, you should’ve come with us to say hi to everyone.”

“I’m not in the
mood to say hi,” Ash mumbled.

“Yeah, I know,
because you’re pouting.”

“I’m not
pouting.”

Jeremy went to
him and sat on the couch. “If you’re this upset about it, why don’t you go find
him? I saw his trailer. I can tell you where it’s at.”

Ash snapped his
head toward him, giving him a glare. “I have
zero
desire to talk to him
again.”

“I think you
have a little more than that. And, I think you need to talk to him. You acted
like a total dick to him.”

Disbelief in
his tone, Ash said, “And he didn’t act like one toward me?”

“I’m not saying
he didn’t. He said some harsh things, too. But you escalated it by blowing up
at him right at the start. How many times have I told you, sometimes you gotta
play things cool? I know you and him have pissed at each other for a long time,
but even you got to admit, what he did coming onto our bus, into your
territory, to try and talk things out, that took some balls.”

Ash took a deep
breath and sighed as he exhaled. “I know. It’s one of the reasons I feel so
shitty about what happened. And you know, I can’t even figure out why I went at
him like that. I mean, yeah, there’s all the media bullshit, but he came here
waving a white flag and I shit all over it. That’s not who I am.”

Jeremy rested a
hand on Ash’s knee. “I know that. No doubt your temper gets the better of you
sometimes, but you usually have a reason for it. But it was probably all the
past anger and resentment. Maybe it just all burst out when you saw him because
it was the first time you had a chance to let loose on him in person.”

“Yeah,” Ash
said,
his voice soft. “But that’s not what I wanted to
happen. I’ve been thinking about it a lot since I found out he was going to be
here too, trying to figure out what I’d say to him if I got the chance. I
really decided I’d apologize for starting all this crap to begin with.”

“And you still
can.” Jeremy grinned at him. “But now you have to apologize twice. Once for
starting things and again for using his white flag to wipe your ass.”

Ash laughed.
“Yeah. I guess I’ve got all kinds of
manning up
to do, don’t
I
?”

“Just a little.
And he’s still here. I saw him chilling outside his trailer on my way back.”

One of Ash’s
eyebrows arched as a look of suspicion came over him. “You’re being a little
too helpful about this.”

“What else are
good friends for?”

Ash stayed
silent, Jeremy’s answer making him even more suspicious.

Wearing a grin,
Jeremy stood up and stretched. “So, we’re heading back to the hotel.
You sticking
around for a little while longer?”

“I guess. But
your shitty little grin is making me think you’re up to something.”

Jeremy waved
him off. “You’re too paranoid. Just go talk to Country and do your manning up.
His trailer is in the row in front of where we’re parked. Turn left and it’s
about five down. You’ll see his sign.” He started toward the door. “We’ll catch
you later. We’re probably going to hang at the hotel bar for a while.”

“Alright.”

Ash stayed in
place for a few moments more, weighing whether he really wanted to go talk to
Jackson. He wanted to see him again, that was a given, but he wasn’t sure he
wanted to face Jackson’s reaction to him. He knew it wasn’t going to be good.
Still, if Jackson had the balls to come talk to him in the first place, he
should show his own by going to him this time.

His decision
made, Ash hopped up and left the bus. The hot day had faded into a warm night,
but the high humidity continued to linger. He followed Jeremy’s directions,
cutting between trailers. The area was quiet, many artists having left for
their hotels or to hit the Chicago clubs. He saw the outside lights lit on a
trailer up ahead, and figured it had to be Jackson’s. Laughing voices floated
near him, and as he neared, he realized why Jeremy had been smirking. He’d been
setup.

Jackson sat
outside the trailer with the guys who played in his band. He might be a solo
artist, but he still had regular musicians who joined him in the studio and on
stage. Along with the bass player, drummer, and guitarist, were two other
popular country music stars who were going to be performing, Clint Murray and
Elizabeth Harlan. He didn’t know the names of Jackson’s band members. Like with
so many solo artists, the people who played for them didn’t always get as much
spotlight as what members of an “official” band did. Either way, now he was the
one walking into Jackson’s territory with Jackson surrounded by his allies.

Ash took a deep
breath and started toward the group. Jackson wasn’t the only one who could
flaunt his balls.

His strides
slowed to a stop again as everyone burst out laughing. Not out of intimidation,
but because his ears picked up a sound so deep and rich, he wanted to savor it;
Jackson’s laugh. Out of all the laughing voices mixed together, he was able to
pick Jackson’s voice out.

Wearing a
bright smile and still chuckling, Jackson glanced up, his gaze meeting Ash’s.
His laughter slowed and his smile faded. Seeming to pick up the shift in his
mood, the others followed his gaze, and Ash became all too aware he was now the
focus of everyone’s attention. He stood motionless, not sure if he should take
the last few steps to join everyone, or just walk by the group as if he hadn’t
intended to stop to begin with. It was totally messed up. He was used to being
the focus of attention for thousands of people at a time, but here with a gang
of six, he didn’t know what the hell to do with himself.

Jackson broke
their gaze and leaned over the side of his chair to a cooler. He pulled out a
bottle of beer and looked to Ash, extending the bottle toward him.

Ash stared at
the invitation, but only for a few quick heartbeats before he moved forward. He
stopped in front of Jackson, wrapping his fingers around the bottle neck as he
looked into Jackson’s eyes. “Thanks.”

Jackson nodded
once. “No problem. It’s too hot a night to not have a cold beer.”

The guitarist
slapped Jackson on the arm. “It’s also too hot to be drinking outside when
there’s air conditioned bars not even five minutes away, and with better
scenery than a parking lot. Let’s get out of here.”

Jackson’s gaze
flicked toward Ash before he turned to his guitarist. “I think I’m going to
stick around for a little while longer. I’m not in the mood for a bar. You guys
go on ahead.”

The drummer
stared at Ash while he spoke to Jackson. “I think we better stay, too.”

Ash looked at
each of them, noticing the hard, cold expressions they all wore.

Jackson sat
back in his chair, letting out a huff. “If you’re staying because of him, you
better be doing it because you want to get to know him. But if it’s for any
other reasons, there’s no point in sticking around. You don’t have anything to
worry about.”

Ash stood in
complete shock. Jackson was defending him. After all their harsh words, Jackson
was basically telling his band members he trusted him enough to be alone with
him. Ash lowered his gaze. More than once he’d felt like an ass in his life,
but never as big of one as he did now.

The guitarist
stood, still eyeing Ash warily. “If you say so. We’ll catch you in the morning
then unless you want to join us later.”

“If I do, I’ll
text you to find you,” Jackson said.

The three band
members walked past Ash. He flashed a bright smile, making eye contact with
each of them as they passed by, doing his best to mock their sour expressions.
He might feel like an ass for talking to Jackson the way he did earlier, but
these guys had nothing to do with that.

Jackson
motioned to the vacated chair next to him. “Have a seat, Ash.”

Ash felt his
heartbeat pick up at Jackson saying his name. Jackson had such a warm tone to
his voice, and even with having heard it so many times when Jackson sang or
spoke in interviews, in person there was something different about it. Ash
smiled his thanks and took the chair next to him.

Elizabeth
stretched across Jackson, offering her hand to Ash. “It’s nice to meet you,
Ash. I have to admit, I’m a huge fan of yours.” She threw a grin at Jackson.
“Even with all the bickering you two do.”

Ash took
Elizabeth’s hand in his, smiling at her. With her wavy blonde hair, blue eyes,
and charming smile, the term “Southern beauty” came to his mind about her.
“Thanks. I have to admit I’ve rocked out to your music, too. You’ve got a
beautiful voice and I’m a sucker for your love songs.”

Elizabeth laid
her other hand over his. “What a sweetie, you are. Thank you, honey.” She
glanced at Jackson. “Isn’t he sweet?”

A slight smirk
quirked up one corner of Jackson’s lips. “I’m not sure I’d go quite that far.”

Ash glanced at
him, seeing the humor in Jackson’s expression and eyes.

Elizabeth
released Ash’s hand, giving Jackson a backhanded slap on the chest in
reprimand. “Be nice.”

Clint shook his
head at them. “You two act like an old married couple.”

“Oh, we do
not,” Elizabeth said.

“I wasn’t
talking about you and him. I was talking about him and him.” Clint waved his
hand between Ash and Jackson. “Always bickering at each
other,
and now look at you, settling down like nothing happened.”

Jackson nodded
his head slowly, seeming lost for a response.

Ash took a sip
of his beer to appear unable to answer.

Uncomfortable
silence fell over everyone.

Ash lowered his
beer. He glanced to his left, to his right, up at the sky. Well, how damn
awkward was this? He didn’t have the first clue what to say, especially after
that comment.

Elizabeth
finally broke the silence. “So, Ash, I always wanted to ask you, is Ash your
real name?”

Ash
contemplated standing up and hugging her for trying to ease the tension.
Thinking that’d probably seem odd, he gave her a smile instead. “Sort of. It’s
Ashton, but people have always called me Ash for short, and when I started
playing in bands, I thought it sounded more rock star, so I rolled with it for
my stage name.”

“Well I think
Ashton is a pretty name.”

“Exactly.
That’s why I go by Ash. Rock stars aren’t supposed to have pretty names.”

Elizabeth
laughed. “Now, I think if a rock star wants to have a pretty name, he should be
able to. I like that your band name plays on it.”