“I’m going to fuck you like no one else ever could.”
“You two are the loudest whisperers in the world.” Paul moaned as he rolled onto his back, stopping when his gaze landed on them. “What are you doing?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” Josh sucked Sadie’s nipple into his mouth. Without thinking, her hand shot to his head to hold him in place.
“I don’t think I can manage again for a bit,” Paul said, sitting up.
“Who said you were invited?” Sadie was only teasing, but it was clearly the wrong thing to say.
“What?” The relaxed pose of Paul’s long body was gone. “Who said I
wasn’t
invited?”
Before she could answer, Josh pushed his way between her legs. “Sadie says, man. Not my rules.”
It was weird how one moment, everything was perfect and fairytale-like, and the next, Sadie’s world imploded.
Paul rolled off the bed, snapping his shirt off the ground. “Fine.”
“Where are you going, Paul? I was only kidding.” Sadie tried to push Josh off her. “Move.”
“No.” He kissed her temple.
“I’m glad you had a great time, Sadie. I’ll get out of your way so you can have what you’ve been clearly eyeing all night.”
“Paul!”
He didn’t even bother putting on his boots before he stormed out of the room.
Once the door had closed behind him, Sadie sat up slowly, pulling the sheet with her. “What the hell was that about? Shit, he’ll never talk to me again.”
“Give him time to cool down and he’ll see reason.”
“No, I need to go catch him.” Sadie threw the sheet aside and scrambled to find her clothing. Holding up the corset she knew there was no easy way to get back into it. Certainly not a fast way. “Some fucking friend you are.”
“Sadie, please sit.”
“No. This is your fault. Why would you make him think I wouldn’t want him?” She swallowed down the sudden rush of tears threatening to choke her. “I finally got him to notice me.”
“Please.” Josh patted the bed. “He’s gone by now anyway.”
Dropping to the floor, she didn’t even bother to wipe the tears away. “Dammit.”
Josh got up and joined her on the floor. “I know that was extreme, but I need you to know.”
“Know what?” She turned and glared at him. “I’ve never seen him that upset. Not at me, at least.”
“And what possible reason would a man like Paul have for overreacting to a situation like that? We weren’t doing much of anything yet, were we? A few teasing remarks and a little cuddling.”
“No.” She sniffed and wiped her cheek.
“It’s been my experience that a man only reacts like that when he’s jealous.”
“But he’s the one who asked what I wanted. I never would have said anything if he hadn’t pushed.”
“I know that. And Paul will too when he has a chance to cool down.”
Sadie nodded, not feeling even a little better. Josh slipped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “Do you need me to get you home?”
“No. But I will need some help with my corset.”
Leaning across the floor, he grabbed his shirt and pulled it over her head. “Take mine. It will be sufficient to get you where you need to be.”
“What about Paul?” Slipping her arms though the holes, the worry lessening by a degree. “Should I call him?”
“Nope. Make the bastard suffer.”
Sadie couldn’t help but giggle. “Not the answer I was expecting.”
“I’ve known him for more years than I can count. He’ll realize he was being an asshole right around the time he gets home. Then he’ll show up here too late to find you to apologize and try to punch me instead.”
“I thought you said you’ve never done this together before?”
“Not this. Let’s say we have fall-back behaviors we rely on. I’ll tell him he has three days to suck it up and apologize to you. It will probably take two for him to man up.”
“And you think he will?” Sadie hated the insecurity. It wasn’t like her. While she wasn’t loud, she’d never considered herself weak.
“Do you need to ask?” Josh smiled. “I’ll get you a cab. I don’t want you walking around looking like you’ve had fantastic sex.”
“Okay.”
Josh helped her to her feet, but before he could move away, she pulled him into a hug.
“Thanks.”
“For?”
“Everything.”
Now she had to sit and wait for Paul to come back to her.
“Sadie, I need a low-fat cappuccino,” Ian called out from the counter. “Sadie?”
She shook her head, trying to clear it. She’d been having difficulty focusing all morning. “Got it.”
Josh’s prediction of Paul showing up in two days’ time was wrong. He didn’t show up on day three or four either. And now, on day six, Sadie had moved from fear and concern to jump feet-first into depression. Josh’s plan had backfired and she was the one paying the price.
“One low-fat cappuccino.” She handed the mug to Ian and shrugged at his raised eyebrow. She hadn’t been her normal, perky self the past few days, and it was only a matter of time before one of her siblings called her on it.
Ian frowned but turned back to the customer, leaving her in peace. It was more than a little unusual for Ian to
not
give her the third degree. Then again, it wasn’t like her to mope around.
Ian spun around and pointed a finger at her the second the customer left. “Okay, spill it. What the hell is going on with you? I don’t remember seeing you this down since Mike Johnson dumped you in grade ten.”
Sadie snorted.
It was only a matter of time.
“I’m fine. It’s just been a long week.”
“Bull. You haven’t been yourself since the Mavericks event. Did something happen to you while you were there? Do I need to call someone out?” Ian shuffled closer. “This isn’t like you.”
“It’s nothing.” She ran her hand along the back of her neck, trying to force away some of the tension. “If I thought there was something you could do to help, believe me, I’d let you know.” At this point, having Ian punch Paul wouldn’t do either of them much good.
Ian crossed his arms. “I have ways of making you talk.”
“Like?”
“I found this new recipe for banana bread—”
“If you go near my kitchen with the intent to bake, I’ll kill you.” Sadie tried to hide a smile, knowing full well Ian was only teasing, but couldn’t.
He laughed and pointed. “There it is. For a moment there I thought someone traded my sister for an alien. I get worried when you’re not happy. You’re always Miss Sunshine.”
Sadie would normally go to one of her friends when it came to her love life. Not that she didn’t trust her siblings’ perspectives in that department, but she couldn’t stand the constant stream of follow-up questions.
“Let’s start again. Are you okay?” Ian bumped her shoulder. “You’ve been quieter than normal.”
“I’m fine. I was expecting something and it hasn’t happened yet.”
“Has someone gone and broken your heart? Was it Paul? I’ll kill him if he did.”
Sadie grabbed Ian by the shoulders. “Thanks for looking out for me, but I’m fine.”
“Shit, it
was
Paul. What did he do?”
Ian was more than capable of holding his own in a fight and had enough of a temper to act on it. The last thing she wanted was him going off on a tear after an unsuspecting Paul.
Sadie kissed his forehead and did her best to wipe away any of his concern. She didn’t want this turning into something it wasn’t. Paul would either come around or he wouldn’t. And if not, then she had one night of amazing sex to remember their friendship by.
“Ian, please let me handle this.”
“Sadie—”
“I mean it. And don’t go telling Paige either. Despite what the two of you think, I am more than capable of dealing with things on my own.”
“She’s pretty good at it, actually.”
Sadie tensed at the sound of Paul’s voice. How had she missed the door chime? She released Ian and stepped up to the counter. “Hey.”
“Hey.” Paul scratched his fingers through his hair. “Can we go someplace to talk?”
Ian cleared his throat and tossed his apartment keys at her. “I even cleaned last night.”
When she went to protest, Ian rolled his eyes and started making a cappuccino. “What was that? I can’t hear you over the sound of the steam. Going to take a break? Okay, see you later.”
Paul chuckled and held out his hand. “I promise to behave.”
Seeing that she wasn’t about to get any support from Ian, Sadie pulled off her apron and tossed it at her brother. “We can take the back stairs.”
They didn’t speak as they went out through the kitchen to the hidden staircase that led to Ian’s upstairs apartment. Paul even kept his distance as she fumbled with the keys in the lock, waiting until she stepped inside and held the door open.
“Funny enough, he doesn’t have a coffeemaker. I can offer you a cup of tea though.”
“Yeah, that would be perfect.”
Paul sat at the table and stared at her as Sadie did her best to ignore him and get everything they needed for tea. Unfortunately, that took far less time than it took for the water to boil, leaving Sadie at a loss for what to say.
“I’m sorry.” Paul’s voice was nearly lost over the sounds of the kettle. “I’m an idiot.”
The sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, the one that had formed the moment Paul stormed out of Josh’s room, finally started to recede. “It took you six days to figure that out?”
She glanced his way, not sure she wanted to know what he was feeling. The last thing she wanted was pity, especially coming from Paul.
The snap of the kettle turning off had her jumping. She threw tea bags into the mugs and quickly poured the water to the brim, carefully carrying them over to the table. Paul took his without looking up and began to rub his thumb across the top of the handle.
Sadie had to fight every natural instinct she had to want to smooth things over and dismiss his overreaction. To carry on like nothing had happened. But if she did that then any chance they had at a real relationship would wither and die here at this table. She’d be damned if she was going to let that happen.
“You know what?” She pulled the tea bag out and took a big sip, letting the liquid burn her tongue. “You’re right, you were an idiot.”
Paul flicked his gaze to her but didn’t otherwise move.
After taking another sip, Sadie set her mug down with a clunk and leaned across the table. She wasn’t going to settle for being the friend, not when she wanted more, but she needed to remind him of that basis first.
“Do you remember a few years ago, that camping trip the ten of us took up to Sibbald Point?” Her question was a bit out there, but she wanted to get them back to a place that was familiar to them both, a common ground they’d be able to move forward on.
The smirk on his lips chased away some of the darkness of his expression. “Ryan and Scott, running naked around the fire.”
They both chuckled and she reached out to brush his hand. “Do you remember we stayed up all night talking?”
“God, what was it we were debating?” He sat back in his chair as the tension in his shoulders visibly lessened. “It was something stupid.”
“Movie remakes, blessing or a curse.” It had been the first time she’d realized her feelings for Paul had the potential to be a lot more than simple lust. The laugher they’d shared, the close conversation, had kept her fired up for weeks after. “We hadn’t even realized it was morning until your girlfriend stumbled out of the tent.”
He nodded. “We broke up shortly after that.”
“You never did tell me why.”
“I realized we didn’t have much in common.” Meeting her gaze, Paul’s smile faded. “Not like I did with you.”
Thank God it hadn’t only been her. “We’ve been friends for a long time.”
“I know.”
“I thought you trusted me?”
“I do.” Paul pushed his mug aside. “You know I do.”
She let her gaze drop to the space between them, knowing if she met his eyes head-on, she’d back down. “Josh said and did those things to freak you out. I had sex with you both after you spent the better part of a week needling me about my sexual fantasies. I never asked for anything like that to happen. I would
never
have done it if I suspected for a second it would ruin our friendship. We’ve known each other far too long for that to happen.” Paul tried to interrupt, but she wasn’t about to stop now. “Whatever you have going on inside that head of yours, we’re going to discuss it. Now.”
When she finally met his eyes, Paul was smiling at her. “I think that’s the most berating I’ve heard from you in ten years.”
“Yeah, well, you and Josh created a monster, remember? I’ve decided that if I want something I need to fight for it. I’m not going to sit back and be the peacemaker all the time.”
“I’m glad.”
“What the hell happened? I thought we were…getting somewhere.”
Paul pushed his mug aside and got to his feet. He paced around the room, only to stop at the window. “Ever feel like you’re out of sync with the world?”
“Sometimes. Mostly when I’m talking to Paige.”
“I’ve been feeling a lot like that recently. For months, actually. I’ve been spending a lot of time reevaluating what I want out of life and what I need to do to get it.”
When he didn’t continue, Sadie got to her feet and joined him. She slipped her arm through his and rested her head against the side of his shoulder. “And?”
“And…Josh sat me down one day and we got to talking. After your name came up half a dozen times, he started asking about you.”
She turned, pressing her back to the window. “Me?”
Paul nodded. “Josh remembered me mentioning you over the years but knew we’d never dated. He put the idea in my head without saying much of anything. After that I found I’d lost interest in the club and the scene. It got to the point where I stopped chasing other women and waited for you to notice me.”
Sadie coughed until the laugh finally escaped her throat. “You were waiting for me to notice you? Are you insane?”
“I’m not that bad! I knew you only saw me as a friend and not as a potential bed partner. I didn’t know how to even start without risking what we’d had. Then Josh had the idea for the appreciation party and I knew that was my in.” When she started laughing again, his frown deepened. “What’s so funny?”
“You.” All this time they could have been together and they’d both been too blind and stupid to see what was in front of them. “I’ve been on the sidelines for years watching you parade an endless stream of women in front of me. When would I have even had a chance to squeeze myself in there?”
“It wasn’t like—”
“Yes, Paul, it was exactly like that.” Standing up straight, Sadie put one hand on her hip and poked Paul in the chest with the other. “You went to your club with all those women. Paige told me enough of what went on for me to know I would be one of the last people you would ever consider taking along for the ride. I was your girl-buddy. The one who you took along to the action movies when your girlfriend bailed. Not the girl who went dancing at Mavericks.”
Reaching out, Paul took her hand and brought it to his lips in a kiss. “But you did come with me. And you surpassed every dream I’ve ever had about you.”
“But then you ran away.”
“And now we’re back to the
I’m an idiot
part of the conversation.”
“Why? After everything we’d done, all
three
of us, what was it about Josh and I that freaked you out?”
Paul huffed but didn’t pull back. “I figured you were more attracted to Josh. Believe me, you wouldn’t be the first woman to pass me over in favor of him.”
She couldn’t stop from snorting. “Not that I have anything bad to say about Josh, but why would you think that?”
“You’ve seen him. It’s hard to compete with a guy like that.”
“But the fact you thought I was going to pass you over…?”
“I…I finally realized that I want you, Sadie. I mean want you in a way that goes far beyond our friendship or sex. We were both single and I had you in the club, hot enough that I wanted to fuck you in the middle of the floor. Then I saw the look on your face as Josh whispered in your ear and I didn’t think I’d ever be able to make you that happy.”
Sadie stared at him for a long moment before slowly shaking her head. “You
are
an idiot. You thought I would give up a chance at being with you for someone I don’t know? And you claim to know me.”
Paul squeezed her hand. “That’s why I came back to the club an hour later. But you’d left and I figured, that’s it, I’ve lost my chance. When I got home I wanted to call you, but I didn’t know what to say. I probably wouldn’t have come over here today if Josh hadn’t kicked my ass.”
“Remind me to send him a thank-you card.” Men were dumb when it came to this stuff.
Sadie tried to move past Paul when he caught her around the waist and picked her up. She squealed in protest, but all he did was press her against the wall, pinning her with his body.
With the space between them now gone, neither one of them had any choice but to look each other in the eyes. Sadie licked her lips and smiled when Paul’s cock started to harden against her.
“You and Josh are pretty close.”
“He’s been my one constant over the years. Besides you.”
“This may sound ignorant, but you seem pretty comfortable with the whole…you know.” She pursed her lips without thinking.
“Kissing a guy?”
Sadie shrugged. “Yeah. According to Ian, most straight guys would rather gouge their eyes out than do that.”
Paul pressed his body a bit firmer to her, grinding with more purpose. “Yeah, well, I’m not most guys. And before you ask, Josh is the only man I’d even let myself get into a situation like that with, at the club.”
“Why?” It didn’t make sense from what she knew of Paul, and yet Sadie didn’t feel threatened, only confused.
With a shake of his head, he leaned in and brushed a kiss across her lips. “Josh and I went through some things back in high school. He literally saved my life back then. I was…going through some stuff. He stopped me from doing something stupid, even though at the time I barely knew him. I owe him big time for giving a damn when he didn’t have to.”
Sadie tried to keep her shock from showing. The image of the normally strong, confident Paul feeling lost and depressed enough to even consider
doing something stupid
was a punch. “And Josh?”
Paul smiled. “You’re perceptive.”