Double the Trouble (Texas Trouble 3) (22 page)

Clothed or not, Gabe didn't think he was going to be able to sleep in the same bed with Karlie and not touch her.  They were like two
opposite
poles of a magnet, just automatically drawn to each other.  Or at least he was with her.  The way she'd acted after they'd made love made him think she wasn't quite as attached to him as he was to her.
And her reation wasn't because of the condom incident, b
ecause she'd
basically
made a joke of it...
totally blown that off.

The only thing he could reason out was she'd just used him for sex, and now she was tossing him to the curb.  Her anger was a useful tool to do that, he guessed.  He'd done that often enough to women to know the signs...not that he was proud of it by any means.  Now that he knew what it felt like, he'd never do it again, that was for sure.

Gabe had even offered to
do the right thing and
marry her if she was pregnant,
even though the thought of marriage for any reason made him want to hurl.  T
hat
had only
seemed to make her even more pissed.  Shaking his head, Gabe walked into the bedroom, slid on his underwear, then got in the bed on the other side of Sarge, who was snuggled up to Karlie's side, his face in her neck.  Lucky damned dog, he thought, and punched his pillow.

V
isions of he and Karlie making love
helped him fall asleep
,
but those
blended
into horrific images of
her beaten to a pulp and dying
,
with a man sitting on top of her like
he
had
sat on
Jake
Johnson
, then that
image
faded to scenes of him
and Kenny
as kids
on his daddy's farm
,
before they were
overpowered by the dream he'd tried to keep away for two years, but couldn't.  The day Kenny died...the day Gabe had let him die. 

Every emotion he'd experienced that day replayed in the dream, t
he deep sense of
hopelessness
, the fear,
when he knew he'd fucked up and blown their cover, to his determination to get them out
. 
L
ike a cut scene in a movie
, that faded
to
the
agitation
he'd felt
when K
enny wink
ed
at him and tr
ied
to smooth things over with the gang
members
.  Soon, that was overwritten
by the
paralyzing indecision and
absolute
horror when
Kenny yell
ed
, "Run, G!" right before he dove into the gang surrounding him like a death squad
. 
His dream transition
ed
to him running for his life toward the warehouse door
,
with a couple of gang members hot on his heels, as overwhelming grief almost took him to his knees when he heard the gunshots that took his best friend's life.

A
ll of those feelings he'd experienced
swirl
ed
inside of him,
and
Gabe
fought
against
them, but
the
ir
acid
burned
in his chest
, along with extreme guilt
that
demanded
release
.  Sitting up, he
screamed
,
then screamed again,
try
ing to purge them from his soul
.  His
whole body was shaking
violently
and he felt like he wanted to vomit.
  His breathing was labored and he felt like his throat was closed off
,
as hot tears scalded his cheeks for what he should have done to help his friend, but
hadn't
.

Someone was shaking him and he fought against the
hands gripping
his shoulders and flailed against
the
imaginary thugs, until a voice calling his name penetrated the demons that had claimed him.  Disoriented, he opened his eyes and looked around the darkened room, then he blinked when a lamp came on and he finally realized he wasn't in that warehouse, but in his cabin.
..and he wasn't alone.

Gabe
was wheezing trying to drag in breaths, and gather all those demons back into the black box
where
he kept them in inside of him.  They didn't escape often, but often enough
that he'd never let a woman sleep all night with him to see it.  He'd done that now, and paid the price for it, he realized
,
as he looked into Karlie's frightened tear-filled eyes, as she ran her hand over his face trying to calm him down. 
He saw her cheek was red and he put his hand to it, and asked with dread, his voice raw, "Did I do that?"

Karlie
shook her head no, but he knew he had
done it
when he flailed around.  He told her in a flat
guilt-ridden
voice
and rubbed her cheek
, "I'm
so
sorry Karlie...I shouldn't have let you stay...I should have brought you back to the Double B.
  Let me get dressed and I'll take you, then bring Freddie to you tomorrow.
"

There was no way in hell Karlie was leaving Gabe
like this
.  She'd never seen someone so gripped like that by a dream, like
they were
reliving some horrific event and w
ere
being tortured by it. 
In his dream,
Gabe had been
back in the moment
when his best friend was killed, and he'd been talking to him in his sleep, trying to save him.
 
Karlie
hadn't been afraid for herself by the dream, she was afraid for Gabe
,
and
that she wouldn't be able to wake him up from it
.  He couldn't keep all that bottled up inside of him, and just let it out while he slept
,
and
expect to
keep his sanity. 

In a soft whisper she
ran her hand along his stubbled jaw
,
and told him,
"Gabe, I'm not leaving you, baby.  Lay back down and I'm going get some water and a rag. I'll be right back," she told him and kissed his cheek, her lips trembling.

As Karlie slid off the bed and went to the kitchen, she was amazed that he'd apologized to her for having the nightmare
, like it was his fault
.  She also felt like a total shit for thinking he was a player
, b
ecause
now she knew why he didn't let women stay overnight at his apartment in
Mesa
.  H
e thought the demons inside of him would scare them off, when th
ose specters
crept out at night
to haunt him
.
 

Karlie was sure this wasn't the first, or fiftieth time he'd had th
at
dream, since his friend Kenny was killed.
  She knew how guilty he felt about it, had seen it in his face, heard it in his voice when he'd talked about it
, but she hadn't realized how deep
his pain went
, or how much
the guilt was torturing
him, until tonight
.

Karlie grabbed a glass of water for him, then went to the bathroom and dragged out a clean washrag and wet it down in the sink.
When she walked back into the bedroom, she saw him laying back with his arm over his eyes, his body covered in sweat, his heart beating swiftly. 

"Sit up, sugar..." she said and he opened blue eyes
full of
misery
so complete, a knot of emotion surged up into her throat.
He shoved up on his elbow and held his hand out for the glass, then drank it all down and handed it back to her,
before collapsing
back on the pillow.  "Thanks...I'm sorry, Karlie
,
"
he said in a disgusted tone.

She shooed Sarge off the bed, then sat down and scooted over beside him, and pulled his arm off of his face,
and
ran the wash cloth across his forehead, along his cheeks, across his mouth, and down his throat.
  Gabe moaned and sucked in a breath when she moved it across his chest.  Leaning down she placed a kiss over his heart, then
kissed
his lips.  "It's fine, Gabe...I'm fine.  I'm worried about you though."

He snorted, then rolled over so his back was facing her, "Don't worry about me,
Karlie
.  This is all my fault...I thought I could do this, but I can't...just go back to the Double B."

"Do what, Gabe?" Karlie asked and put her hand on his shoulder and rubbed.

He shrugged off her hand and said nastily, "The all night thing...sex and a sleepover.  Like I said, I don't have women stay at my place, so just go.
..it's better for both of us.
"

Karlie's heart thudded then skipped a beat
,
it was so soaked in hurt. 
"Sex huh?  That's what I
was
to you...tell me that straight up, Gabe, and look at me when you do it," she told him
then
climbed over him
and grabbed his shoulders. 
"Open your eyes, dammit!  Tell me!" she yelled
at him and shook his shoulders.

"Fucking back off, Karlie...I can't talk about this right now," he grated, his face flushing red, and she saw a tear leak out of the corner of his left eye.

"Talk to me, Gabe," she begged him in a broken whisper.  "Tell me what's wrong...I want to help you."

When he vaulted up in the bed and grabbed her shoulders, Karlie automatically
whimpered, then shrank away from him and
folded her arms over her head protectively. 
Gabe sobbed then his fingers loosened on her shoulders and he pulled her into his chest, holding her. "Oh, god, baby...I'm sorry I scared you," he said kissing her hair and rubbing her back.  "I'm not fit to be around, darlin'...you need to leave."

"I'm not leaving you, Gabe," she told him firmly against his chest.  "No matter how nasty you are to me.
..I made it through what Jake dished out to me, I can help you get
through this."

He shoved her away from him then and pinned her with angry blue eyes.  "Don't ever compare me to that bastard again, Karlie
," his nostrils were flared and she saw his fists clenched along with his jaw
.
  "
What am I to you Karlie, a project?  A charity case? 
If that's what you think of me, you really can get the hell out of here.
..
now
.  I don't
want
your fucking pity, and I don't need your help."

She slid across the bed to stand and look at him,
tears burning behind her eyes as she told him,
"Well, you need someone's help, Gabe.  You can't keep all that crap inside of you and expect to have a
normal
relationship with anyone. No, you're not a fucking project to me...I
love
you
,
and wanted to help you, but obviously you don't need anyone
.
"
  Karlie spun on her heel and stomped out of the room, and through the cabin to the front door.

Karlie was halfway back to the Double B, watching the sun bathe the landscape in a
tangerine
glow.  She would appreciate
the beauty of it
more
,
if she wasn't so mad she was seeing it all through a red haze. 
That red haze almost made her miss the red and blue lights flashing in her rearview mirror
,
and the
police car
hauling ass to catch up with her.
  She looked down at her speedometer and just realized she was going ninety
-five
.