Authors: Linda Daly
Wiping his mouth with his linen napkin, Michael applauded his
father’s comment, saying, “Here, here Father. Precisely why I’ve decided
to dabble in writing a novel, myself.”
“How wonderful Michael!” Vivian cooed. “Does that small home that
Sarah picked out . . .” Her eyes drifted quickly to Sarah with contempt,
then she returned her attention back to Michael, and said sweetly, “. . . have
a room that will afford you the quiet you will require with such an
undertaking? After hearing all the decorating it will need, I am sure your
father would offer you his study while he’s away during the day. That way
Sarah could try to make a more presentable home while not disturbing you
in the process.”
Sarah’s back stiffened hearing Vivian’s comment, knowing this was
Michael’s mother’s way of saying she didn’t approve of their choice in
homes, and she was trying to keep her son close to her and away from
Sarah.
“That won't be necessary, Mother. Sarah and I have already discussed
my need for privacy and she has graciously agreed to allow me to use her
boudoir while the carpenters work on the first floor. Besides, since I intend
to write a Northerner’s point of view while living in the South, Sarah will
be a great help in recalling situations.”
Obviously not pleased with her son’s response, Vivian’s attentions
were directed to her grandson. “Well surely with your father and Sarah so
preoccupied with their new lives, whatever are you going to do while
living there?”
Before Tad had a chance to respond, Alfred spoke firmly, “Vivian,
we’ve already had this discussion. Tad is going to be with his father where
he belongs. I was hoping to persuade him to come and join me at
Honeycutt and Son’s now that he’s graduated and has had ample time off
following school. How does that sound to you, Tad?”
“Well Grandfather, I was intending to discuss my future with you and
Father of course later, but since we are all here . . . I was thinking of
pursuing a career in law. As a matter of fact, with Joshua now in the family,
I thought once he returned I’d discuss the possibilities of joining his
father’s firm.”
Alfred looked at his grandson with disappointment in his eyes, and
said, “I had no idea law intrigued you. But since it does, there’s no need to
wait for Joshua and Elise’s return. If you would like, I can speak with
William Carmidy on your behalf. After all, with his firm now handling a
great deal of my holdings, I see him quite frequently.”
“Oh Tad you can’t be serious. The law of all professions, having to
deal with all those undesirables and bad people,” spouted Vivian.
Chuckling, Michael said, “Well it’s a good thing Joshua isn’t here. I’m
sure he would have something to say about that remark, Mother.”
“Indeed!” agreed Alfred, who added. “Where did I hear that if there
were no bad people there would be no good lawyers?”
“Dickens, in
The Old Curiosity Shop
, as I recall,” James said.
“My, but you are well versed this evening aren’t you, darling? Where
do you find the time to read so much?” Lavinia asked.
“Oh you would be surprised, my dear!” James gave Lavinia a snide
grin, sending her mind whirling.
Does he know of my afternoon
rendezvous?
As was the norm every night following dinner, the women joined
Vivian in her drawing room, while the men met in Alfred’s study. However,
this evening Sarah excused herself following the meal, explaining she
needed to catch up on her correspondence. Miranda and Tad claimed they
would begin reading and made their way to the adjacent room off the
drawing room, in Vivian’s private sitting room with the door open. As was
the practice for couples who were courting, Tad took a seat across from
Miranda who sat on Vivian’s davenport.
Pulling out a worn copy of Hawthorne’s
The House of Seven Gables
,
Tad whispered to Miranda, “You have read this, haven’t you Miranda?”
“Yes, of course,” she replied, puzzled.
“Good, then if we should be asked about it, you can truthfully recall
the story.”
Not comfortable with deceiving others as a rule, she nodded.
To keep up the pretense, Tad began reading from the first chapter. After
hearing chatter from the other room, he looked at Miranda and winked,
laying the book on his knees. “If I know Grandmother and Lavinia, the two
of them will be so busy conspiring they won’t give us another thought.”
A smile crossed her lips, recalling how she and Constance had done
something similar when Lucas was in his study.
“You surprise me, Miranda.”
“In what way?” she asked, being careful to keep her voice barely above
a whisper.
“From that knowing grin, I would have to assume this was not your
first time at concealing your true intentions.”
Realizing she had let her guard down, her smile faded. “As I told you
earlier in the garden Tad, there is much you don’t know about me.”
“Yes, I hope to remedy that soon.”
Knowing this was Tad’s way of asking her to share her past, Miranda
quickly replied, “And in time perhaps you will, but this evening I was
rather hoping you would tell me why Mr. Hobbs came to visit you. From
the look on your face following his visit, I could tell you were quite
agitated.”
“Could you?” Tad smiled, yet his eyes disclosed anything but
amusement as he made up some excuse for Daniel’s visit. As Miranda
listened to him, she suddenly became aware that when he lied to her, he
often looked slightly over her head rather than into her eyes.
In the other room, Vivian filled Lavinia in on all that had transpired,
including how Alfred had prevented her from going to her son or grandson
when they obviously needed her the most.
“Oh how simply dreadful for you, Viv darling. So you have no idea
what was said between Tad and Michael this afternoon?”
“No. That obnoxious wife of my son saw to it I was kept well away
from them, talking endlessly with Alfred and me about that new house of
theirs. I’m telling you Lavinia, I don’t know what’s worse, having that
wretched woman as a daughter-in-law or dealing with Alfred’s sudden
interest in our family. Lately I can’t move from room to room without him
knowing everything I do. Honestly, I don’t know what to make of it. Ever
since Michael’s return, he is constantly underfoot. Why, I don’t think he’s
been to the club once this week.”
Lavinia’s eyes widened and she looked at her host suspiciously. “What
did you say? Why, James told me he met with Alfred this very
afternoon . . .”
“Oh I can assure you Alfred has been here the entire day,” Vivian said,
shaking her head in disgust. “Why, he’s only been to the office twice this
week as a matter of fact. And I can tell you having that man watch my
every move, along with dealing with that ghastly wife of Michael’s, well
I’m at my wits end.”
As Vivian kept twittering on, complaining about Sarah and Alfred,
Lavinia’s heart raced knowing that James had been lying to her. She
recalled how James had excused his lateness this evening by saying he had
been delayed at the club with Alfred. At the time, Lavinia had been grateful
since Isaac’s and her afternoon of lovemaking had gotten out of hand and
he had left far later than they had intended. However, she couldn’t help but
wonder what James was really doing.
“Lavinia! Have you heard a word I’ve said?” Vivian asked annoyed.
“Why if I intended to be ignored, I could have waited to discuss my
troubles with Alfred. God knows that man has perfected the art of ignoring
me.”
“Oh Viv, I’m so sorry. It’s just something you said got me to thinking.
This afternoon, Isaac and my sitting went longer than usual. You remember
how I told you how I’ve commissioned him to paint my portrait as a
surprise to James?”
“Yes of course, but what does that have to do with what I said,” she
replied hotly, obviously still upset that Lavinia had not paid sufficient
attention to her.
Annoyed by Vivian’s tone, Lavinia chose to ignore it for the time being
and continued, “Well, as I was saying, Isaac was detained and as luck
would have it so was James. His excuse was that he was detained at the
club with Alfred.”
Raising her eyebrow, Vivian smirked. “Ah, so now you are wondering
where that husband of yours really was, or more importantly, does he know
about you and that lusty painter of yours?”
Lavinia gasped and looked at the older woman with her mouth still
opened. “Vivian, why of all the ridiculous . . .”
Raising her hand, Vivian stopped Lavinia from continuing her lie. “Oh
please Lavinia, do you honestly think for one moment I haven’t known
from the start what you and that artist friend of yours have been doing all
these months? First off, no portrait takes that long to paint.”
Lavinia was stunned and didn’t know what to say. Knowingly, Vivian
said ruefully, “Personally, I feel it serves James right for leaving such a
beautiful vivacious woman alone as much as he does. But after what I’ve
observed over dinner my dear, I would be very concerned if your husband
hasn’t become wise to your little amusement with your artist friend. And if
I’m not mistaken, he has enlisted Alfred as an ally.”
“Dear God, I think you’re right,” she whispered, more to herself than
to Vivian. “So now what do I do?”
“Why nothing dear. If your artist suddenly didn’t show up anymore,
surely it would only confirm his suspicions. But I would definitely make
certain that a portrait is completed or nearly complete, in the event you are
questioned. I’m assuming this Isaac can paint, right dear?”
“Yes, of course he can.” Lavinia’s voice drifted off as her mind raced.
So if James suspects my infidelities than why hasn’t he tried to stop me?
So deep in her own thoughts, Lavinia barely heard Vivian say, “Take it
from someone who knows. A man of James’ position will not openly
destroy his wife’s reputation, especially when he has his own pride to
consider among his colleagues. If you don’t believe me, just look at our
late president. Mary Todd spent well above her means, but to protect his
good name and hers, Lincoln practically blackmailed Congress in paying
them off, for the position of his office. Men have a code they must live by
and James’s pride would never allow anyone to find out the truth of his
wife. That is, unless it serves him too for his own purpose. For instance, if
he found someone more desirable in social standing, or unless his wife
forced him to by flaunting her indiscretions openly. Which of course you
wouldn’t, so then my question would be, does James have his eye on
someone else?”
Lavinia’s heart raced as her eyes widened.
That little bitch, Felicity!
Well, I’ll just have to inform her cousin of this as well!
Trying to control
her voice she said, “Why of course not, don’t be absurd.”
“How foolish of me to even ask such a thing.” Vivian smiled brazenly,
raising her eyebrow wondering whom James was interested in.
Long after the residents had retired for the evening, Tad waited in the
shadows of the Honeycutt property for his friend Daniel, as prearranged.
Hearing the hooves of a horse approach, Tad stepped out from behind a
tree, while Michael in his father’s study, watched his son get into a buggy
that had stopped briefly in front of the Honeycutt estate. Shaking his head
discouragingly, Michael glanced at Alfred who had sat and waited with him
in the darkened room to see what Tad was up to.
Striking a match to light his pipe, Alfred drew in several small intakes
of breath to assure the tobacco was fully lit in the bowl of his pipe.
Blowing out the match, he raised his eyebrow while increasing the flame of
the hurricane lamp beside him on the mahogany table.
“Son, as I said earlier, Tad is a full-grown man. The decision he makes
is of his own choosing. He chose to lie, and that Michael, has nothing to do
with you or me, for that matter,” Alfred said sternly.
“That might be so, but the fact that I was not here to guide him
certainly contributes to my son making bad decisions. And nothing you can
say, Father, will ease my guilt.”
Sighing heavily, Alfred motioned his son to take a seat beside him in
the high-back Queen Anne chair next to his. Obligingly, Michael sat and
glanced at his father who was obviously troubled. “Father, what is it?”
“Son, what I’m about to tell you, I had never intended for you to know.
However now, under the circumstances, the truth must come out.”
Frowning, Michael looked at his father, allowing Alfred the time he
needed to gather his thoughts. “Before I begin, I need to tell you Michael,
that the man you have become, I value as my greatest accomplishment.
Now, hear me out . . .” Alfred said, seeing his son ready to respond. “I
don’t say this as a means to console you, but rather to point out why I feel I
can trust you with what I’m about to reveal to you now. Understand?”
“I believe so... Please go on.”
“As you know, your mother has always been a high-strung woman,
requiring a great deal of attention. I knew this when we met and fell in
love. In truth, that is what I fell in love with, her zest for life. When I took
my bride back to England to meet my family and friends, never had I
imagined it would nearly destroy our marriage and her in the process.
Looking back now, I suppose they resented your mother not just because
she was from America, but they had hoped I would marry another woman
in our set. It didn’t help that your mother was not as demure and cultured
as those that my family associated with. After months of watching your
poor mother struggle to fit in and win the love of my mother, which she
never could, since your grandmother was so rigid in her thinking, Vivian
and I left England after a terrible row. My father, heartbroken and fearful
he would lose his son as did his friend William Phelps, funded any business
adventure I wanted to start. Up until that time, in truth, I dabbled in
business but never took it serious. I was young and was quite fond of
enjoying life of the gentry.”
Stopping to take a pull from his pipe, Alfred continued. “That all
changed though upon returning to America. Feeling as if I had something
to prove to my father, I became obsessed in my work while your mother
was determined to improve her image. At the time, I thought your mother
was merely trying to impress my mother and friends so she would be
viewed as worthy. So involved in my own quest, I never realized how
much she needed my approval as well. As it turned out, I was extremely
fortunate and my investments paid off; all the while your mother built a
lavish home for us, spending the money as quickly as it was made. Over
time, we drifted further and further apart, me working long hours and then
stopping at the club more frequently to unwind and avoid her complaints of
me never being around. That all changed though when you were born and
for a few years your mother and I were genuinely happy. She was busy
tending to you while I kept building an empire, never satisfied with what I
had, always wanting more. Before long, we both drifted apart from one
another again. Then the worst day of my life happened when I discovered
your mother was having an affair with the artist who painted that portrait.”
Alfred’s voice trailed off, pointing to the painting that hung above the
mantel.
Michael, so shocked at what he was hearing, looked up at the familiar
painting that had hung in his father’s study for as long as he could
remember. In a low voice barely above a whisper, Alfred spoke again.
“That afternoon I had just closed a deal that was sure to make me quite
wealthy and I came home early to share my good fortune. Stopping by the
nursery, I saw you were playing quietly with your nanny so I tiptoed to
your mother’s boudoir to surprise her. There I found her engaging in sexual
activities with the man I had commissioned to paint her portrait. Stunned, I
stood watching that bastard gratifying himself on your mother as she
watched me looking on. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes . . . cold and
scornful. When I stormed in and flung him off her, your mother just lay
there not even trying to conceal her nakedness. It was as if she had wanted
me to find out what I had turned her into.”
Stunned and angry, Michael lashed out. “For God sakes Father, I don’t
know what to say! You certainly didn’t force mother into betraying you.”
Alfred glanced back at his son coyly. “Didn’t I? Michael, I had ignored
her needs and desires to satisfy my own greed for power and wealth.
Leaving her day and night for years alone, knowing full well, her insatiable
zest for life, but not giving a damn.”
“What did you do? I mean following that afternoon?” Michael asked
hesitantly.
“Do? What I had done our entire marriage; made a business
arrangement. After hanging up that damned portrait, more as means to
torment her as a constant reminder of her infidelities, I made a deal with
your mother. If she continued to raise you and appear as a happy couple for
my business associates, in exchange, she could do as she pleased as long as
she was discreet.”
“Are you telling me father that since that day to this, you and
mother . . . .”
“What I am saying Michael is, I forced that beautiful woman you see
up in that picture so filled with life to change into the bitter, conniving
woman she is today. Never to know pure happiness or contentment. I’ll
hand it to her though, Vivian kept her promise and from that day to this, if
she had other affairs, I knew nothing of them, nor did I care. Sadly though
from that day to this, we have never been intimate.”
Michael's mouth dropped. “Father, that had to be more than thirty-five
years ago.”
“Forty-three actually. From that day to this, never have I allowed her or
myself to be forgiven for what we have done to one another and to our only
child. And for that I am truly sorry, Michael.”
Puzzled Michael asked, “I don't follow . . .”
Interrupting his son, Alfred said, “You were raised by two people who
cared more to fill their home with materialistic fineries to impress others
and keep up appearances, rather than show one another love. The only
thing of value that resulted from this shameful existence is you! And for
years I’ve been a hypocrite, telling you that loving another was the greatest
possession a man had, while living a private life and not giving a damn if
your mother did or not.”
“Are you telling me that you had affairs, Father?”
“Countless women who meant nothing to me. Their names I would
prefer to keep private.”
Michael nodded to his father not really wanting to know them by
name.
Acknowledging his son’s gesture, Alfred added. “After you went off to
college and returned with a wife to live with us, for the first time in
decades there was warmth and genuine love under this roof. Was it any
wonder your mother resented your marriage? Not only had Vivian been
taught not to be accepted by my mother, but also over the years I had
taught her how to be manipulative to get what she required. What Vivian
wanted most in the world was what you and Emily had, and that was
something your mother could never have at any cost. After Emily’s tragic
death, your mother came to me pleading to at least let her raise her
grandson since I had denied her a life she deserved. So I did. Again, my
selfishness overruled my better judgment, convincing myself that it was
best for all concerned. Over the years, I made it easier for you to leave
Thaddeus with us. Then when Tad went off to college, you were spending
more and more time in Fairfax and it became clear to me that you had
again found love. With Tad away, I kept telling myself that you deserved
some happiness. Frankly Michael, I lived for your happiness, even envied
what it must be like to risk your own life for the love of a woman. When
Miranda came to live with us, my heart soared at discovering what a fine
and decent man you had become despite your parents. Then it suddenly
occurred to me that all the while I had been appeasing your mother out of
my own guilt and shame, I had prevented your son from knowing just how
truly wonderful his father actually was. In addition, I prayed that God
would allow you to return and not punish me any further. So you see
Michael, if anyone is to blame for Tad’s lack of character, it’s me!”
Alfred’s voice cracked, as he looked at his son for forgiveness.
Shaking his head, Michael leaned over and patted his father’s hand.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Father, I could have stood up to you and
mother, but I chose not to. I took the easy way out, not able to face my
grief losing Emily, and I hid behind my work. That is something I shall live
with for the rest of my life. If it wasn’t for Sarah, hell I might still be . . .”
“I don’t believe that, son. From what I’ve heard and seen since your
return home, I’ve observed a woman who has endured your mother’s
hateful tongue and schemes simply out of the love she has for my son. That
love was based on two people finding one another and sharing their heart,
not just one. My only advice to you now is, don’t get so caught up in your
own pain Michael, that you lose sight of what your wife’s needs are, son,
like I did. When you and Sarah move into your new home, allow Tad to
witness how a man and a woman should treat one another, rather than what
he has known living with us. If your son learns what you have achieved
with your Sarah, I can tell you Michael, no matter how successful he may
become in the life he builds for himself, what will matter the most when
his life is nearly over is how he loved. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very proud
of your accomplishments, but I envy your ability to put what matters the
most to you first in your life. If only I had been able to see that loving
another came before my career, perhaps things could have been different
for your mother and me.”
Seeing the pain in his father’s eyes, Michael wanted to ease his
tormented mind but somehow he knew what his father needed the most
was to finally release his pain by exposing the truth. Alfred, looking up at
the portrait of his wife as she once had been, lovingly smiled.
“By God Michael, do you see how beautiful your mother was? Instead
of punishing her, this portrait is now a constant reminder to me of how I
had chosen my own ambition over her needs. How I wish to God I could
change our pasts.”
Then looking at Michael, his tone became more urgent. “For some
unknown reason, Miranda has taken an interest in your son. And one thing
I know for certain is that young woman has no tolerance for conniving or
deceitfulness. If Tad is fortunate to ever truly win her heart, he will have to
be honest with that woman or lose her. And if he loses her, it will haunt
him forever. Take it from someone who knows. So rather than be
consumed with the past in which you have no control of, help Tad to
become the man I feel he truly wants to be. We both have more than
enough money for him to live in comfort. What he needs more than wealth
is to feel loved and to be able to love. You, Michael, can teach him that.”
Alfred’s voice, so full of emotion, cracked.
Suddenly Michael saw his father as more than an untouchable
successful businessman, but as a vulnerable man with a life full of regrets
that tormented him, and who was now reaching out for the love of his son.
“Father, thank you . . .” Unable to find the words to express all that he
was feeling, Michael knelt in front of his father and said, “I love you.”
For the fist time in Michael’s life, he saw his father cry as he
whispered, “I love you too, son.”
Tenderly patting Michael on the shoulder, Alfred said, “Go to your
Sarah and let me wait up for my grandson tonight. We have a few things to
talk over.”
Nodding, Michael stood, wanting to ask him what he intended to
discuss with Tad, but instead decided whatever it was that his father wanted
to share with Tad, he knew it would be beneficial for them both.