Down and Out (Hawks MC: Caroline Springs Charter Book 3) (2 page)

And then my life, my heart, every-fucking-thing went down the drain.

Chapter One

Dive

My head was under the hood of a car in the Hawks garage when my phone rang. I ignored it and kept doing what I was doing, thinking they could leave a message because the client was gonna be back later that day to pick up the piece-of-shit car. Then my thoughts drifted over to hurting Willow for even booking the car in the first place. However, she was a sucker for a sad case, and the old woman had talked Willow into taking her shit car in for a service. It needed more than a service; it needed to be put down.

My phone rang again.

Then again.

And again.

"Fuck," I cursed, wiping my hands on the rag from my back pocket as my heart took off in my chest. Hell, I probably should have answered it anyway in case it had something to do with the fuckhead Baxter, but all my brothers were at the garage workin' alongside me, so nothing bad could have happened.

My heart slowed.

Just as it started ringing again, I answered with, "Yo."

"Josie, no," Simone yelled in the background. Again, my heart sped up as I tensed, my jaw clenching in worry.

"Josie, what's goin' on?" I clipped roughly. Both Pick and Billy, Josie's men, stopped what they were doin' and came towards me.

"Dive, y-you need to come to Simone's place, right now. She has something to tell you." Her voice was soft and quivered at the end.

Christ. If someone had hurt Simone, I'd stab the fucker.

"I'm there," I bit out, hung up, and thrust my phone in my back pocket of my jeans. Looking to the waiting men, I said, "Josie's fine, but she wants me to get to Simone's."

"We're comin', just in case," Pick said, throwing his cleaning rag to the bench next to him. I knew not to argue with him or even Billy when it came to Josie.

We made our way out the front after lettin' Dodge know we were taking off. He nearly bitched that all of us couldn't go until I told him about the phone call. Instead, he nodded. Concern filled his eyes before he said gruffly, "Call if you need me."

We straddled our bikes, and they roared to life. The ride seemed to take longer than it usually would. My hands sweated the whole way; my heart thumped hard in my chest, and my teeth fucking hurt from clenching them along the way while I agonised over what in the hell could have happened. Finally, we pulled up to a stop out the front of Simone's apartment building. We were all off at the same time, and swiftly, we made our way in and up to the second floor. Just as I was about to bang on her door, it swung open. Josie stepped out, her eyes red from crying. Stepping right up to Pick, she buried her head into his chest as Billy stepped up behind her, his body stiff, and his eyes hard with unease.

"What the fuck is going on?" I growled.

"Dive?" Simone called from inside.

Josie turned her face to me and smiled sadly. That was when I knew it was something bad. She reached out her hand and gripped my wrist, giving it a squeeze. "Go easy on her," Josie pleaded.

With a stiff nod, I shook off her hold and stepped into the living room. Billy closed the door after me, leaving them on the other side. It was then Simone walked in from the kitchen. With red-rimmed eyes, she offered me a small, shy smile. I gave her a chin lift, and that was when I looked down.

My eyes widened, and my jaw popped open. Shock froze me in place. "You're knocked up." Her stomach was huge, and she waddled as she took the last steps to the couch. Slowly, she lowered herself backwards and sat.

"Before you ask, you're the father." She cringed as my eyes darkened on her to a glare.

My body liquefied. Clenching my hands, my knees wobbled until I steadied myself. Anger flared inside of me instead. "And you chose to tell me like this?" I seethed through clenched teeth.

She looked to her stomach and rubbed a hand over it. "I'm sorry, Kalen."

My hands gripped my hair where I tugged on it. Then I threw my hands up in the air. I was pissed. I was fucking frustrated. None of it made sense. "Why did you disappear? Why would you do this to me when this is my kid? I could have been there for you through this. I could have helped you, supported you. But you ran, and it's never made sense because you knew I loved you. You knew I wanted us for-fuckin'-ever. Why in the fuck did you run?"

Tears ran freely from her eyes while her bottom lip trembled, and I realised I hadn't listened to Josie and gone easy on her. How could I, when I'd just found out I was going to be a father from a woman so selfish, she'd cut me out of the first part of everything there was to experience? How could I when the woman I loved shut me out, cut me off, and had just shit down my throat?

"Would I be here if it weren't for Josie?"

She wiped her face and shook her head. "No."

Pain threatened to weigh me down. My stomach flipped and then dropped in misery. Gutted. I was absolutely gutted. "Why?"

She shrugged. "I didn't think you would want it."

I picked up the picture frame next to me and threw it to the wall. My hands then landed on my hips so I wouldn't grab anything else. She jumped when I roared, "How could you think that when I loved you with everything I have?"

The door behind me crashed open. "Brother?" Billy said.

"I'm fine," I snarled. "It's fine. Everything is
fucking
fine."

As I went to walk out the door in need to calm the hell down, Simone's pain-filled voice called, "Kalen, please. Please, I'm so sorry. I know I went about this the wrong way. But I promise I thought I was doing it to save you." Spinning to her, I watched her struggle to stand. It was hard not to go to her and help. I still loved her, which was why her deceit was harder to take. We'd made a child together, something so precious, but she threw away my feelings. I didn't count at all to her in this situation. Anger at her selfishness caused me to clamp my teeth together.

Of course I would have wanted to know. I'd want to be there every step of the way. I'd missed out on so much already: the first time she got to hear the heartbeat, the first picture of our child, the growth. Fuck, everything. I would have taken care of her. I would have helped. But I had no choice given to me and not only did it piss me way the fuck off, but it felt like my heart had been sliced open.

Her cry of pain brought my attention back to her, just as a puddle of wetness pooled down her legs to the floor.

"Shit," Billy bit out. "Josie," he yelled.

Pick was the first in the room. When Josie got through the door, I heard her gasp.

"No, no, no. It's too soon. Call an ambulance," Josie ordered as she ran to Simone's side. "Dive, get your arse over here and help her." My body jolted and my eyes went to Simone. Panic held her eyes wide and kept me captive.

Moving to her side, I gripped her arm and slid my other arm behind her back. "Come on, baby. Let's get you outside." All anger fled seeing Simone scared.

"Dive," she whispered. Her nails bit into my arm as a contraction had her crying out again. Once it settled, she said, in a scared, soft voice, "It's too soon. He shouldn't be coming now. I don't want to…"

"The doctors will get it all sorted, baby. Could be,"—fuck, I didn't have a clue—"I don't know, a false alarm or something."

We started for the door when I heard Josie whisper, "Did you tell him?" Her voice was tight with sorrow. Simone shook her head, and Josie sighed. Her eyes met mine over Simone's head, and all I saw was pain.

What wasn't Simone telling me?

We'd made it down the stairs before another contraction nearly took her to the ground. The pain was obvious on her scrunched-up features, and I wished I could take it away from her. Even though she'd fucked up big time, my feelings never vanished. Hell, I even kept my dick in my pants since she'd been outta my life, in the hope she'd come back. Now I wouldn't leave her with a choice; she was having our kid. She was mine, and she'd better bloody accept it.

Billy stood out on the street ready to flag down the ambo. I was leaning against my ride with Simone between my legs leaning against me. Josie paced in front of us while Pick stood back watching his woman, his body tense. All of us wore a frown of worry, our brows drawn down in concern, and I knew I wasn't the only one feeling anxious, wishing help would hurry the hell up. Simone looked weak and tired. She'd lost weight even though she was pregnant. It was as if dark circles had been drawn under her eyes. Pale skin replaced what used to be a healthy glow, and she had no strength as she leaned against me. Her head rested in the crook of my neck until another contraction took hold. I grabbed her and held her up as she breathed through it, but every one she had seemed to drain her each time. More worry burned low in my belly as her panting breath worsened. Her eyes drooped lower and her cheeks seemed hollowed.

Thank fuck the sirens sounded off in the distance. It wouldn't be long until we had her at the hospital, and they'd be able to help her where I couldn't.

"They're coming, baby," I said and kissed her forehead. "We'll be okay."

"Dive," Simone whispered, her voice trembling.

"They're here," Billy announced. My shoulders sagged in relief. I gently guided Simone to stand and stood behind her as they pulled up. One woman and a guy jumped outta the vehicle and ran our way.

"What do we have here?" the woman asked.

"What in the fuck do you think?" I clipped out harshly. Did she know how to do her job?

"Casey," the guy ambo said. I watched the woman catch his eyes, and then he flicked his gaze to our Harleys. She stiffened and walked back to the ambulance to grab out the gurney and wheeled it over.

"Dive, let them get Simone to the hospital," Josie said in a soothing voice. "They know what they're doing."

Glaring at them, I said, "I'm going with her."

"No," Simone yelled.

"Don't start, woman," I barked down at her as they helped her lay on the mattress.

"Please, I need you to bring my car. The keys are inside, and I'll need the car seat."

"Billy can take care of it," I ground the words out through clenched teeth.

"Dive," Josie started, laying her hand on my arm. "I'll go with her. We know you won't be far behind, and I promise I won't let anything happen to her."

Fuck. I didn't want to leave her, and I didn't understand why she wanted me outta her hair for the ride there. None of it made sense. Though I didn't want Simone worked up more than she was. Time was taking a toll on her. Finally, I nodded, and they bolted, with my woman on the gurney, to the ambulance. Before they were ready to take off, I ran to Simone's apartment, grabbed her keys, and tailed it to her car. Pick and Billy were already on their rides. I knew they'd follow me the whole way there.

In the rear-view mirror, I saw Nary pull up out front. Billy stayed back to let Nary know what was going down. Betrayal clawed at my chest. Had she known Simone was pregnant with my kid and didn't tell me? Hell, I hoped not. I was ropable already, and I didn't want to take it out on Nary. She had enough going on.

My hands gripped the steering wheel tightly as I looked in the back seat at the small car seat strapped in. Christ, I was gonna be a father. Me, a dad. My mind struggled to comprehend it. Also, a deep-rooted dread pounded through my veins; Simone was holding something back from me.

Was something wrong with our kid?

My chest ached at the thought.

Pulling up out the front of emergency, I jumped out and bolted for the doors. Pick was hot on my heels. As soon as the doors opened, I was at the counter demanding to be let through for my woman.

From there, everything went fast. Too fuckin' fast.

A nurse led me through to Simone's room. Josie was in there holding her hand. Two different doctors were rushing around hooking my woman up to machines while a nurse was between her legs checking out something down there.

"Everything all right?" I asked. All movement ceased for a second to take me in. Then the doctors looked at the nurse.

She sighed and nodded. "All looks good for the child. It's a bit early, but we'll take care of everything."

I gave her a chin lift as another nurse came in with some space-looking crib thingy. She smiled at me and said, "It's an incubator. Your child will have to stay in here for a little while until it’s ready to go home."

Grunting out a reply, I then asked, "So, the kid is coming?" My head spun. Everything was happenin' so fast.

She smiled, but it was sad. "Yes, your child has had enough of waiting. It wants to come and now."

My feet took me to my woman's side before I even registered I'd moved. Josie, who stood on the other side, was crying. My knuckles were white with how hard my hands clenched at my sides. Something was going on I didn't know about. But just as I was about to demand answers, another contraction hit Simone. Her eyes closed. Her mouth pinched tightly, and she bared down.

My gut dropped at the sight of Simone in pain. I'd do anything to take it from her.
Fuck.
I ran a hand through my hair in frustration.

"Should she be pushing?" Josie asked in an alarmingly high voice. Panic reared inside of me.

A doctor pushed me aside and barked down at Simone, "No pushing, Simone. Please just let us do a C-section."

What in the fuck is goin' on?

She shook her head and licked her dry, cracked lips. "T-there's no point. We all know this." She opened her eyes and called, "Dive."

The doctor stepped back, his face solemn, his eyes sad.

I stepped up, my mouth dipping down with worry. "Baby, what's going on?" I pleaded.

"G-get Pick or Billy in here for Josie, please."

My head jerked back. "Why?"

"No one else can come in. The room is already too full." The other doctor said before he stepped up to Josie's side and held his stethoscope to Simone's chest, listening to her heart.

Simone snorted. "What's one more, Doc?"

"Simone." The doctor sighed and shook his head.