Down To You (The Love On Edge Series) (6 page)

Then one day, he just didn’t come home. Frantic with worry, Holly called his mother in Colorado. Doris explained to Holly how concerned she was over Brant. He was depressed and isolating himself. Holly became angry because Brant wasn’t the only one going through this crisis. Families are supposed to stick together. The final straw that broke the camel’s back occurred when Doris told Holly, “Please take care of my boy.”

Holly simply replied, “Doris, I’ve had a miscarriage, emergency surgery, and I have children to look after. You don’t abandon your family.”

Holly hung up and never looked back. When Brant tried to return the following week, he tried to explain that he had been looking for work. But without a phone call, a note, or any evidence that he was even alive for a week, Holly was not trying to hear any excuses. From that day on, she closed him out. From that day on, Brant has been trying to claw his way back in to her good graces.

It was not a graceful dance for either of them. If only Holly knew just how distraught Brant was.

Chapter
Six

Out of the Comfort Zone…

December 23, 2013

Rogue

Sloane walked through the double doors of Rogue like she owned the joint. She waved to a group of women that were seated at a table by the door, and walked up to a pair of men who were standing casually by the bar. She kissed the one man on both cheeks and then the other. Holly immediately recognized them. It was none other than Luke Casile and Russell Weiss. Russell gave Holly a polite wave, but Luke leaned in and gave Holly a friendly hug. Luke was one of Brant’s oldest friends, but he was also a good friend of her’s, too. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw another man approaching them.

“Oh, Jesus. Not him,” said Luke as he casted a dirty look in the man’s direction. Chris Beckman was walking right towards them.

Chris stood at six feet tall with blond sandy hair and dark brown eyes, and he had a mischevious quality to his smile. Chris looked thrilled to see Holly and leaned in to give her a kiss on her cheek that lingered a second too long. Holly pulled back as her cheeks began to blush.

“Holly! Long time no see…”

“Hi Chris, how are you?”

“What can I get you to drink?” asked Chris, expecting Holly to ramble off a girly drink.

“How about a Jack on the rocks?” asked Holly nonchalantly.

Chris was taken aback by Holly’s drink request and had to catch his breath. “Uh, sure… Hey Roz! Jack on the rocks for the lady!”

Roz the bartender started making Holly’s drink while Sloane stood there drinkless and feeling left out. She eyed Holly’s drink and rolled her eyes. A bad habit Holly caught from Brant was drinking Jack Daniels straight. The thought made the hair on her arm stick up.

“What the hell, Beckman! Weiss! Casile! Gimme a drink!”

Chris and Russell raised their eyebrows at their testy friend, while Luke gave Sloane a sly smile.

“Err… Order the woman a bay breeze.”

Holly laughed at Sloane’s drink of choice, “Wow. You’re badass.” Sloane casted an evil look in Holly’s direction.

“You got it… None for me. I’m the designated driver,” said Russell with a smirk. Russell then looked at Luke to see if he needed a drink, but he already had a beer in his hand.

“I’m good.”

The night was going along nicely and Holly was actually having a good time. Chris had bought them another round of drinks and Sloane was beginning to get sloshed off of her fruity drinks. Holly was just beginning to lighten up, which is something that Holly wasn’t having an easy time with lately. Luke had spun Holly around the dance floor a few times, but then Sloane wanted a turn, so Holly returned back to the bar for another drink. While Sloane was on the dance floor with Luke, and Russell was arguing on the cell phone with his mother, Holly sat alone at the bar. Chris Beckman saw the perfect opportunity to make his move.

A song came on the radio that both Chris and Holly recognized. Chris grabbed her hand, and the next thing she knew she was being led out into the middle of the dance floor at Rogue, her inhibitions dropping by the second. Chris could really dance, and he wasn’t bad to look at either. At six feet, he was tall but lean, not muscular like Brant.

What am I thinking? Chris Beckman was Brant’s best man at our wedding. But they weren’t married anymore. Right? She was a free woman, and she could dance with whoever she wanted. It’s not like she was marrying him.

Chris was
actually
fun to be around. She couldn’t help but laugh and smile as he twirled her around the dance floor. It was so long since Holly had gone dancing. His reputation as a ladies man proceeded him though, and she knew not to let herself stumble. Suddenly, a slow song came on, and Chris moved in closer, grabbing Holly by the waist. He took Holly’s hand and began to lead, slowly swaying their bodies to the music. Everything was going fine until he went in for the kiss. He leaned in, taking advantage of the moment. As his lips approached hers, Holly quickly turned her head, denying Chris a kiss as a glimmer of sadness overcame her beautiful face. It wasn’t that she wasn’t attracted to Chris. It’s just that her heart belonged to someone else.

“What’s wrong?”

“Too fast.”

“Want another drink?”

“No… I think I’ve had enough.”

“Holly!” Chris called from the dance floor, but Holly pretended not to hear him.

Luke and Sloane, who were slow dancing on the opposite side of the dance floor, saw Holly rush off of the floor. They divided and conquered, Sloane to Holly and Luke to Chris.

“What the hell are you thinking, man?!” yelled Luke, getting right in his face.

“What? I’m single. She’s single. What’s the problem?”

“That’s your best friend’s ex-wife!”

Chris still didn’t see the problem, and walked off.

“Whatever, man!”

Sloane found Holly back at the bar where she was in deep conversation with Roz, the bartender. Sloane took one look at Holly and said, “All partied out?”

Holly looked back at the dance floor and saw that Chris was already chatting up a brunette that was sitting at a table on the other side of the restaurant.

“Yeah…”

“Hey, designated dude…” Sloane said to Russell, trying to get his attention.

Russell was half asleep at the bar. He raised his head in response.

“Care to give Holly a ride home? She’s spent.”

With a nod, Russell grabbed his keys and the girls followed him out of the bar, leaving Chris alone on the dance floor. Luke stayed behind, keeping a watchful eye on Chris from the bar.

Chapter Seven

All Partied Out…

She should have never gone out. Now Holly felt worse than ever. Going out wasn’t making her forget about Brant… It was making her want him back more. Holly sat in the passenger seat of Russell’s car feeling tipsy and aggravated.

“C’mon girl… Let’s get you home,” said Russell as he put the keys into the ignition.

“Yes, please.”

“Hey, Russ, could you give us a minute?” asked Sloane.

Russell nodded and he stepped outside the car for a few minutes.

“Just keep putting yourself out there. You’ll find someone,” said Sloane a bit carelessly. She could be a bit obtuse after a few drinks. Holly gave Sloane an annoyed look.

“Do you really think that I couldn’t have had whatever guy I wanted in that bar tonight?”

“I know you could have. Even the guy I was talking to was staring at you.”

“It’s not like that with Luke. He protects his friends.”

“It was a joke.”

“The fact is, I don’t
want
to put myself out there.”

Sloane looked at her friend for a moment.

“What
do
you want?” she asked honestly but bluntly.

Holly considered her friend’s question. She didn’t know the answer.

“I just want to go home… I need to figure some things out.”

“No, that’s
not
what you want…” said Sloane bravely.

“Really? Okay, Ms. Fortune Teller! What is it that I want? Solve all my problems!”

“Okay, I will! You want… No, you NEED Brant to come home. You need to fix that! Not just for him and the kids’ sake either… For your sake. You still love him, and I have it under good authority that he still loves you, too,” said Sloane matter-of-factly, hitting the target with precise aim.

“What would you like me to say?! That I want Brant back?! You know I do… But aren’t I also supposed to stick up for myself?!”

Sloane shook her head, recognizing the plight that her friend was faced with. For two long years Holly had fought hard to maintain her self-respect while pretending that she didn’t love the man that left her. She was finally cracking under the pressure.

Sloane knew the reason why Brant left, and she knew what Brant wanted to tell Holly. He had rehearsed it many times to Sloane over the phone. She also knew that Brant’s departure had nothing at all to do with Holly, but everything to do with Brant’s own guilt. A guilt that had devoured him from the inside out. He felt he had done enough damage. He couldn’t stay at the house that he shared with his family and further hurt them. In his mind he had let everyone down. Sloane knew what she had to do.

“Do you know where he was that week? The week when he was gone?” asked Sloane calmly.

“He tried to explain, but I shut him out.”

“He was in a hotel at the airport.
Alone
. He shut the blinds and allowed his guilt to consume him. He blamed the miscarriage on himself. He didn’t know how to forgive himself for leaving you back home pregnant while he was abroad. Then, knowing he couldn’t be there when you needed him most, it killed him. It still kills him. And then, when he was ready to talk, you shut him out. Nobody’s perfect, Holly. He loves you. You love him. You need to let him explain himself. At what point does your war path for self-respect become more harmful than good for you?”

Holly didn’t respond. She sat quietly and stared out the car window. Finally Russell returned to the car, and within minutes Holly was climbing up her front steps feeling far worse than she did when she had left earlier today.

After she made sure Holly got home safely, Sloane picked up her cell phone and dialed Brant’s digits.

“We gotta talk…”

*****

Luke sat on his barstool keeping a watchful eye on Chris. It didn’t sit well with him what he was doing. He knew Chris had a thing for Holly for years. An attraction that burgeoned freshman year in college. The fact remained that Holly was Brant’s ex-wife, and Chris, being one of the Brant’s oldest friends, was stepping over a line that shouldn’t be crossed. As a friend, Luke felt he owed it to Brant to let him know what Chris did. Holly had done the right thing. It seemed like she had a little too much to drink, and just assumed Chris wanted to dance and have fun. Then when Chris leaned in to kiss her, she outright rejected him. That said something, too. Holly still respected Brant.

Luke picked up his cell phone off of the bar, and immediately began texting Brant.

“Yo.”

“Hey, what’s up?”