Draculas (16 page)

"For blood, I think."

Nurse Herrick walked over.

"Look," she said, opening her hand. "One of the teeth broke off when it tried to come through the window."

Stacie lifted it out of the nurse's hand.

A two-inch fang.

Still slimy with blood and a pungent-smelling saliva.

"They have a mouthful of these," Adam said. "And their hands are like a bird of prey's."

Stacie turned the fang over in her hand.

She was a biology teacher at the local high school, and she could feel that inquisitive, scientific current coursing through her, despite the horror.

"This is a fang," she said. "And it's hollow. See the opening at the end?" She tossed the tooth away. "We should wash our hands. The saliva is probably brimming with neurotoxins. I bet it's how they transmit the disease."

She could feel something inside her solidifying, this primal need to be someplace dark, quiet, and warm. It reminded her of her favorite calico she'd had as a little girl. Whenever she was carrying a litter of kittens, Samantha became a different animal altogether. More guarded. More apt to lash out. And when it came time to give birth to the kittens, she always retreated to a corner of the deepest closet in the house.

Three words kept rushing through her brain, on a loop like a stock ticker--
This isn't happening This isn't happening This isn't happening This isn't happening This isn't happening This isn't happening

But it was.

And she couldn't curl up into the fetal position and cry and wish things weren't the way they were. She had something more important than herself to protect.

"I'm going back to my room now," she said.

"We're going to barricade the doors," Adam said. "I'll come be with you when we're done."

As Stacie started back toward her room, she felt the first rumblings of a new contraction coming on.

THEY pulled the dressers out of two private rooms and pushed them up against the double doors. Nurse Herrick grabbed several sheets of paper from the printer and stapled them over the square windows.

"There's no other way in here?" Adam asked. "No stairwell? No--?"

"Just the windows, but we're three stories up."

"Do you keep any firearms in this wing?"

She shook her head.

"No weapons or--"

"Nothing. We deliver babies here, Pastor. We bring life into the world."

"How are we supposed to defend ourselves?"

"I suppose we could check the operating room."

Scalpels.

Retractors.

Scissors.

Forceps.

Clamps.

It was something, but not much.

"Where are the saws and the drills?" Adam asked, staring at the cold, steel operating table.

"First floor, orthopedics. That's where all the fun is."

Adam lifted a small scalpel, tried to imagine defending himself, his wife, his unborn child, from one of those monsters.

"How' the single-mom-to-be doing?"

"Scared."

He slipped the scalpel into the side pocket of his jeans.

"Shanna? Shanna Davies?"
A twangy, male voice boomed over the hospital paging system.
"Shanna, if you're in the hospital and can hear this, please call extension two-seven-nine-four.
Shanna Davies call extension two-seven-nine-four."

A soft, female voice inside Room 12 said, "Come in."

Adam smiled and opened the door, left it open as he walked over to the bed where a young woman--nineteen, maybe twenty--sat propped up against a mountain of pillows.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, stopping at the foot of the bed.

She didn't have to answer. Her face said it all--terrified.

"Are we going to die?" she asked.

He didn't know how to answer that, so instead he gestured to a chair.

She nodded.

He pulled it over to the side of the bed.

"My wife's two doors down."

The girl smiled. "What are you having?"

"We haven't found out yet. We're going to let it be a surprise."

"I'm having a boy."

"How wonderful. Do you have a name picked out?"

"Tristan. What about you?"

"We're thinking Matthew if it's a boy, Daniella if it's a girl."

"That's pretty."

"I'm Adam, by the way." He offered his hand and she took it.

"Brittany."

"You're here alone?"

She nodded. "My baby's father...he left six months ago. My parents didn't want me to keep it, said if I did they wouldn't be involved. I didn't think they'd actually keep their word on that, but..." She gave a wry smile and he caught a whiff of the sass Brittany sported underneath the present fear. "...here I am, alone."

"You aren't alone."

"Oh, because God's with me?"

"I believe He's with all of us."

"Even those people who are getting slaughtered out there?"

"All of us. Brittany, would you like me to pray with you?"

"No thanks. How old are you?"

He laughed. "Why do you ask?"

"You're the youngest-looking pastor I ever saw."

"I'm thirty-two."

"Do you like being a pastor?"

"Sometimes I love it. Sometimes...it sucks."

Nurse Herrick appeared in the doorway. "Pastor, could you come with me?"

"What's wrong?"

She smiled. "Nothing. Just that your wife is getting ready to have a baby."

"Now?"

"Now."

As he came to his feet, the lights went out.

TINA screamed when it happened, but the complete darkness lasted only a second. Then a backup generator or something turned on, and dim lights came on in the hallway, though not the office. Of course the hospital would have backup power, and of course it would be funneled to things like breathing machines and not to somebody's number-crunching office.

Squeak...squeak...squeak...

Right outside the door.

The sound of squeaking was not typically something that chilled Randall's bones, particularly in a situation that had involved lots of screaming and wet splattering sounds, but there was something oddly unnerving about this squeak.

Something menacing.

He looked through the tiny window in the door. A clown stood outside, staring in at him. Just staring. He had a fright wig, a big red nose, and, yes, a lower half of his face that was shredded and bloody and laden with fangs.

A clown dracula. Wonderful.

Randall hated clowns.

He was not, he had hastened to point out in the past,
scared
of clowns. Grease-painted weirdos with shiny red noses did not fill him with terror. He simply
hated
clowns. He'd never seen a funny one. Never seen one that was anything more than an annoying, obnoxious freak.

"Is somebody out there?" Tina asked, her voice trembling.

Randall shook his head. "Nah. Just a clown."

Even in the mostly dark room, Randall could see Tina's eyes widen. "A clown?"

"Yeah. Don't worry about him. He's like Ronald McDonald."
A Ronald McDonald who will devour your face like a Big Mac and large fries...

Tina put her hand over her mouth, as if trying not to throw up. Then she looked as if she were going to hyperventilate.

"I'm not gonna let the clown hurt you," Randall promised. "No way. I didn't let the other monster get you, so there's no way in the world a stupid rotten clown is gonna do anything to you. Okay?"

The little girl didn't seem convinced. She struggled for breath--deep, wheezing gasps that sounded a lot worse than just a kid getting spooked by a clown. Did she have asthma?

"Are you all right?" he asked. "Do you...do you need an inhaler?"

She nodded vigorously.

"Do you have one?"

She shook her head and pointed to the door. He assumed she meant that she left it in pediatrics. Son of a bitch. A sick kid in a hospital--who'd've thunk it?

"What can I do to help?" Randall asked.

He had no idea what you did for people having an asthma attack except giving them a honk off their inhaler. There weren't a lot of asthmatic lumberjacks out there.

She couldn't answer. Tina didn't seem to be suffocating--at least
some
air was getting in--but this was definitely serious.

Randall glanced back at the door. That goddamn clown was still staring in at them. Why was he doing that? Why wasn't he clawing at the wood and snarling like a wild animal? Weren't these things supposed to be all feral and stuff?

Randall wasn't scared of clowns, he swore he wasn't, but this was becoming creepy.

"Fuck off!" he told the clown.

Shit. He shouldn't have said "fuck" in front of the little girl.

The clown just stood there. Randall couldn't tell for sure if he was grinning--
all
of the creatures kind of looked like they were grinning--but he had a sadistic glint in his eyes.

"Okay, Tina, I'm gonna get you to your inhaler," Randall said. "I'm gonna take you on a piggyback ride, okay?"

"How do..." Tina gasped for breath, a long, pained gasp that tore at Randall's heart. "...we get out?"

"Through the door. Past the clown."

"No!"

"I can handle Bozo, don't worry. I'll pop his head like a water balloon. Hop on."

"No!"

"Tina, there's no other way out of here!"

Randall inwardly raged about the stupidity of the building designers to
not
have included another way out of the office, then immediately decided that architects did not typically have "homicidal monster infestation" on their list of situations that required safety precautions.

"He'll eat us!"

"No, he won't. He's too lame and stupid to eat us." Randall was one step away from shouting "
Goddamn it, Tina, get on my back
!" but kept himself in check. "Cross my heart, the clown isn't gonna hurt you, I promise. But we have to get out of here before more of them come. How do we know there isn't a clown car downstairs? There could be more of them on the way!"

Randall wasn't sure if that was a necessary lie or sheer cruelty, but it got the job done. He crouched as Tina climbed up onto his back. She was nice and light and her weight didn't make his leg hurt any more than the unbearable agony he was already feeling from it.

The clown was still staring at them.

Now Randall had a decision to make: chainsaw or no chainsaw? It didn't have any gas, and was hardly the most effective bludgeoning weapon available to him, but leaving it behind would be like leaving behind his...well, maybe not his
penis,
but rather...well, he supposed it was just like leaving behind his beloved chainsaw. He couldn't do it. If refusing to do battle with a clown without his chainsaw made him insane, fine, he was insane. Plenty of insane people had done great things for the world.

"Are you ready?" Randall asked.

Tina gasped for breath in reply.

Randall unlocked and opened the door with his free hand. The clown stood motionless for a split second, then sprung to life like an electrified Frankenstein and
lunged
at him, mouth wide open.

Randall thrust the chainsaw blade at him, as hard as he could. The blade went straight into the clown's mouth, making a cringe-inducing fingernails-on-chalkboard screech as the metal blades scraped against his teeth. The blade did not burst out through the back of the clown's neck, which would've been helpful, but Randall settled for leaving it there for a moment, deep-throating the white-faced son of a bitch.

The clown did not gag as it reached for him, arms wildly flapping.

Randall yanked out the chainsaw blade. A few of the clown's teeth came with it. The clown's suit was completely soaked with blood, and dangling from the waist of his pants was a short rope of twisted intestine that Randall didn't think originally belonged to him. A blood-streaked button identified him as Benny the Clown.

Randall slammed the chainsaw blade back into Benny the Clown's mouth, taking out most of his lower row of fangs.

Benny the Clown was notably less sedate than he'd been while peeking through the window. His claws scraped against Randall's arm, hurting like hell but not cutting very deep.

Randall gave the chainsaw a violent
twist
, and that took care of most of Benny the Clown's remaining teeth. He turned the blade in a complete circle. Twice.

Tina was, quite understandably, shrieking. Randall wished she wouldn't do that, because it could attract more of the creatures, but he wasn't sure he could convince a five-year-old girl to stop screaming while he was in the process of mutilating a monster clown.

Randall yanked the chainsaw out again. A spurt of blood soaked Benny the Clown's already-blood-soaked oversized squeaky shoes. Using his good foot, Randall kicked the clown in the nuts.

Benny the Clown clutched at his groin and fell to the floor.

Now
that
was a clown pratfall Randall could enjoy.

Three separate bottles of pills had fallen out of Benny the Clown's pockets as he struck the tile. Fuckin' clown was probably thoroughly drugged up. Maybe that was why he wasn't in total "wild animal" mode like the others.

Benny the Clown was far from dead, but he was disabled enough to suit Randall's purposes. The extra ten seconds he spent beating the fucker to death might be ten seconds he needed for running away, especially if...

A pair of draculas came around the corner.

Shit!

Randall didn't want to lock himself in the office again--he needed to make
some
progress. But this was going to take him farther away from Jenny and pediatrics.

Nothing he could do about that. It was a hospital, so there had to be more than one place he could find an inhaler.

With Tina still on his back, he limped down the hallway as quickly as he could.

Then his blood-soaked chainsaw popped out of his hands and dropped onto the floor.

Damn! Shit! Piss! Crap! Ass! Fuck!

He couldn't stop to pick up his chainsaw without gas with a little girl on his back and two draculas on his tail. It wasn't worth dying for.