Draculas (55 page)

Is this okay with everybody?

Paul

* * *

Sounds good, Paul. Lanz will be your main antag, right?

Joe

* * *

Haven't thought of a main antag for Clay. Randall should hate Lanz's guts since he got Jenny fired. And Lanz hates Jenny.

Clay hates them all. They're vermin. He's the Order half of Law & Order and these draculas are radically offensive.

Paul

* * *

Totally down with it. Can't wait to read!

Blake

* * *

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_bat

Just thinking here on ways to continue to make our monsters interesting...since we're basing our draculas more on biology than supernature (word?), what if our draculas exhibit a few creepy characteristics of the real vampire bats...they don't suck blood, their saliva contains an anticoagulant which stops blood from clotting and prolongs bleeding and they lap up the flow (I already made Oasis' tongue a sponge). Maybe this doesn't matter if our draculas are ripping heads off and disemboweling their prey. Also, what if our draculas, along with their keen sense of smell, hunt by sonar, emitting a low-energy sound pulse...they could make some disturbing sound and our characters (maybe my biology-teacher pregnant mother) could speculate on what's going on, and find ways to combat it.

Blake

* * *

When are we losing it? And is Lanz going to cut it? Obviously there's going to be some backup system, but can that be taken out too? Are we going completely dark, limited lighting?

Blake

August 24, 2010

I'm only attaching this because I won't have access to Dropbox until late tonight, and I'm not sure how it will impact what Joe is writing.

Jeff

* * *

Just added a thousand or so words of Clay's first appearance. I'm assuming most of the draculas have left the ER by now in search of fresh blood, leaving the ones they've killed behind...who are now turning.

Paul

August 25, 2010

I think that assumption is a good one. Can't wait to read this, Paul.

FYI - I'll be out of pocket in the mountains on a backpacking trip for a few days starting tomorrow and back into civilization on Saturday.

Blake

* * *

I'm having problems thinking Clay wouldn't call in the cavalry after one look in the ER --
then
go in after Shanna.

I think we need more premeditation by Morty. He's been planning this all along. He hired a demolition guy to wire the cell towers to explode, disable land lines, derail the train.

After he receives the skull he makes a call and simply says: "It's here. Go."

Clay can come out of the ER, try to call the sheriff and get no service. He looks up at the hilltop and sees the cell tower lying on its side. "WTF?"

Paul

* * *

Cell phones don't work in the hospital--they have jammers, like the do on airplanes. When Shanna calls Clay, she'll have to use a payphone.

Clay can, and should, radio for help. But there's really not a lot of help. Durango's police force is only about a dozen cops, and half of them are at the train derailing. And even if a dozen cops do come, most will quickly get slaughtered. Then they'll form a perimeter around the hospital and wait for the military to assist. But between Clay arriving and the military coming can be a good two hours. Once the military does arrive, the CDC won't let them in right away, having quarantined the hospital--meaning Clay is stuck in there. They'd need P-4 containment suits, and there probably aren't many in Colorado.

Having Mort premeditate a trap would mean he knew he would go into convulsions when he bit himself with the skull, and then be taken to the hospital. While that could happen, I'm not sure it's necessary. Through simple chain of command and politics it could take five hours before the army finally storms through the hospital, and by that time our book is over.

Joe

* * *

But wouldn't it be kind of cool if Mortimer does have an idea of what will happen? What if he tried the skull on a mouse first? What if that's the opening scene? A cute little mouse getting punctured by a fang and going apeshit and turning into this ravenous little monster. Mort needs lots of blood to pull off his plan, what he really wants, which is to be forever young. What better place to go than a hospital with sick, dying people, and A BLOOD BANK? I think what Paul is getting at is giving Mort a little more forethought. We know we want Mort to walk out a young, healthy 28-year old looking man at the end (reverse night of the living dead end), so what if he has done some orchestration here? He certainly has the means. What would need to be finessed though, is how additional draculas help Mort's goal. Don't they just gobble up more blood he could have? Maybe he intends to fully kill everyone he attacks so they can't regenerate, but that doesn't happen. Or he wants an army of draculas for some other purpose, possibly he has some control over them...maybe he needs them for a diversion so he can walk out unnoticed at the end...

Blake

* * *

Blake and I were just on the phone, and we decided to go with quarantining the hospital, and having the army and CDC come in.

Mort should have some more backstory, but not to the point where he booby-trapped the hospital.

Clay can call it in, go look for Shanna, and the Calvary will come and get wiped out. Then the second tier can set up a perimeter around the hospital, to prevent the infection from spreading, but they won't go in right away.

Joe

* * *

Okay. Either way, Clay gets to make the call, which was my concern.

Paul

* * *

I'm with Joe on this one...I think it's better to keep it an out-of-control outbreak rather than something that Mortimer had planned. There are a shitload of logic issues we'd have to address is this is all part of some grand scheme.

Jeff

August 26, 2010

Have fun, Blake! I'll be heading off to a cabin in the Wisconsin woods the day after you get back.

Jeff

August 27, 2010

I'm planning a scene with Shanna in the chapel where she learns the hard way that crosses are ineffective against the draculas. Anyone else have something like this going? Don't want to duplicate...

Paul

* * *

I believe Blake has written a scene along those lines.

But that doesn't mean you can't do one as well. Or that Shanna can't also be in the chapel at the same time Blake's character is.

When he gets back from his drunken camping weekend, you two can merge the scenes.

Joe

August 28, 2010

I ended my last section with the power going out...but it seems like it'll be insanely difficult for all of us to work this element into our individual sections and keep the timeline consistent. Perhaps we should save that for the finale, where the characters all come together?

Jeff

August 29, 2010

Read your sections, Jeff. Awesome. I'm fine with the lights going out then. I can time it to coincide with you. Make sure Randall has a flashlight on his belt.

I'm almost finished with the section where Randall takes off after the girl. She went to look for her mommy. You might want to fix the ending of JEFF 2.0. Randall can still see Mort run past, and maybe even want to go after him, thinking that he'll kill him and all the others will die, just like you've written it. Except have Jenny stop him and say she needs him with her. End it that way.

Then, when the lights go out, Randall can figure it's Mort who did it. And he's right--Blake and I will write a Mort POV scene where he takes out the generator. So Randall will go looking for the generator to get it started again.

Does that work for you?

Joe

* * *

"Is that...a flamingo?" asked the old woman.

You are a sick, sick man, Joe Konrath.

Paul

* * *

This had a gun show beat to shit.

Just read your scenes, Paul. Awesome. Laughed at the Dirty Harry line. Clay kicks ass.

I fixed a few small typos. At the end of the Shanna chapel scene (or maybe during it) have the electricity cut out. Then we'll all be in the dark for a few scenes until Randall gets the lights working again.

Your Sheriff $$--why not name him after one of your other characters from the RJ series? Maybe a brother or father of someone who died. Be cool if this tied in to your other books in a minor way.

Joe

* * *

A few quickie notes.

We're at 30k words already, and everyone is writing standout scenes. I'm happy to be working with you guys.

We're at a point where global things are happening that we all need to address in our scenes.

1. There's gunfire, thanks to Clay. It will be heard throughout the hospital, so make sure your POV characters address it.

2. Clay used the intercom. This is something that can also be addressed. I'm going to have Jenny do the same thing to contact Randall.

3. The electricity goes out, and will remain out until Randall fixes it. Dr. Lanz is the one who did it. We should all be in the dark while writing our 4.0 scenes.

Paul, your Shanna scene you labeled 1.1 is actually 3.1. So during the current scene, or the next scene, lights out.

Blake, you can go dark right about where your scene left off.

I believe overlapping timeframes is the best way to do this. Readers will be able to pick up that this is all happening at once, and by using cues such as the gunshots and the intercom announcements, they'll be able to keep track of what is happening when.

So far, I see zero difficulty in piecing this together seamlessly. We might need to juggle a scene or two, but it's going to mesh very well.

Joe

* * *

Shanna's conversion at the end of her big scene might be a little over the top, but god it was fun.

Lanz kills the power...anyone know how to make that work? There's gotta be a backup generator. He could destroy that first, then go after the main. But total darkness -- uh-uh. All hospitals have battery-operated emergency lights in all the hallways. I don't see how we can have total darkness, folks, but we can have loooong, deeeeep shadows from which friends and foes can spring.

Randall and Clay need to bump skulls at some point.

Lanz has to go after Jenny. I'd love to do that from alternating POVs with Jenny finally outwitting and killing him -- and he can't believe that he's fallen victim to a lesser mind.

This is proving to be fun.

BTW, I've passed the 10k mark and have miles to go before I sleep.

Paul

* * *

I like Shanna's conversion. It may need to be described in a bit more detail, but it's totally plausible and you did it well.

The lights out will mean the generator will kick on, which will supply power to essential hospital equipment and utilities, but the lights will be dimmer (emergency boxes only above doorways) and the intercom will be out.

I dug the Jenny/Lanz dynamic. He's currently after her in Pediatrics. If you'd like to do his POV scenes, we can work it out.

Joe

* * *

We can tag-team it. Fun.

Paul

* * *

All - I'm back in civilization, and can't wait to read everyone's parts...Paul - feel free to do the chapel scene, I wasn't seeing a way to work it out in my scene...a question about the hospital power going out...are we going completely dark? No backup lights...having to use flashlights or glo-sticks only? Let me know.

Blake

* * *

Also, I'm writing a Lanz POV scene to take him up to pediatrics, and show he seems to be smarter than the rest of the draculas. Possibly because he ingested the infection rather than got bitten.

Paul, aren't there some diseases that can be more severe based on the method of infection? My mind is blanking. But I'm pretty sure there are some bugs that are worse if you ingest them, as oppose to inhale them, or something...

Joe

* * *

Up to speed finally on everyone's sections, and damn, boys! Really happy with how this is shaping up. Love Randall and Tina dynamic. Clay going through the hospital with his big guns is just plain badass, and Joe, we knew this already, but something is seriously wrong with you..."is that a flamingo?" OMG. Bravo, gents!

Blake

August 30, 2010

I wasn't happy with her immediate gonzetta transformation, so I toned it down.

Paul

August 31, 2010

JCPL had a fire somewhere yesterday afternoon that left much of this area of the Shore without power. (I was reading by flashlight last night.) But we're back now.

Paul

* * *

Doesn't sound too hard...

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100827/ap_on_fe_st/us_odd_snake_hospital_outage

Paul

* * *

I've made it so Lanz has more of his mental faculties than most of the draculas, due to ingesting the blood rather than being bitten. It's in the JOE folder, LANZ_2.0.

But it occurred to me that Benny also seems higher-functioning and calmer than the others. I was thinking that because Benny is severely depressed, he'd take SSRIs (Prozac, Paxil, Zoloft) which might negate some of the "wildness" that being a dracula causes.

When Randall tussles with Benny, a half empty bottle of sertraline can fall out of his clown suit, and I'm thinking he can tell Jenny the nurse, and she can arm herself with bottles of pills and start throwing them in draculas' mouths. They'll still be hostile, but not as frantic. Could be cool to have her walk past a bunch of docile draculas, standing there watching her without coming after her.