Dragon Lord (39 page)

As embarrassed as she was to admit she hadn’t managed to pick up even a handful of words in their language, she shook her head. “Sorry. I haven’t actually tried to learn. I figured when Simon got tired of me, again, he’d send me home. There just didn’t seem to be much point in learning the language.”

He looked taken aback. “He worships the ground you walk upon, little fool! I have never seen him behave so foolishly over
any
woman and I have been with him my entire life! Unless he tires of having a heart, I do not think that is anything you need concern yourself over.”

He shrugged, apparently oblivious to the fact that he’d sent her reeling with that information. Raina desperately wanted him to continue in that intriguing vein, wondering if he included Simon’s wife in that ‘any’, but she decided it was probably just a figure of speech. It was enough to thrill her no end that Audric considered that she held a special place in Simon’s heart. She couldn’t help being envious of that long dead woman who’d meant so much to him, but she was
not
going to let it ruin her enjoyment of being special to him now.

“I do not suppose there is any point in learning our language, unless you wish to please Simon. He told me when we were coming back that he would do this, but I did not truly believe he would. Even
I
thought that it was no more than lust and possessiveness that he felt for you, that he would realize that and forget you …. Or, at least, I suppose I only hoped that that was it. He would hardly eat or rest. I had begun to be seriously alarmed about his health, but once he had made the decision to go back to you it eased his mind.”

Raina stared at him speechlessly. “He said that?
Before
he discovered I was pregnant?”

The look he gave her was skeptical, but he smiled wryly. “Love has made us all blind and deaf to the rest of the universe. It is you he wants, dearling. I think that he did not know that himself until he left you and came to realize you were all that mattered to him. I told him that he could not go into battle with his heart and mind divided, that he must focus on the prize. And he told me the only prize of any value to him was the one he had left--you.

“He knew that he would have to give up all to have you--for there has never sat a consort upon the throne that was not draconian--and he knew that he could only have one or the other, not both.”

Raina felt faint with the thoughts churning through her mind, so thrilled she could hardly catch her breath, but hungry to hear more, and still doubtful. “He didn’t say he loved me,” she said after a moment.

“He calls you beloved. Is that not saying it?” he demanded with a mixture of amusement and irritation.

Raina blinked at him. “I thought that was only a term of affection. You both call me ‘sweeting’ and ‘dearling’ all the time. And he hasn’t acted any differently that I can tell.”

“Because we
both
love you! And there is no reason to behave differently when we both did almost from the first moment.”

“Oh!” Raina cooed with a mixture of pleasure and shock. “That’s … that’s …Oh, that’s bad!” she finished. “He’s not going to be happy not being the king, is he?”

“Emperor,” Simon corrected as he reached them. “But he knows what he wants. Do not doubt that, beloved.”

Raina jumped, whirling to look at him in surprise, having dismissed the sound of approaching footsteps because she was so engrossed in her conversation with Audric and thought, besides, that it was just one of the guards.

She looked up at him hopefully, feeling both shy and uneasy as she searched his gaze. “They’re still mad, huh?”

He shrugged. “They will recover,” he said dismissively, taking her hand and helping her from the bench. “They are arguing over who they will find to take my place when we leave. To appease them, and because we can not go anyway until you are able to travel, I told them I would do what I could to untangle the mess the realm is in before I left. For now, though, beloved, I am yours. I have arranged a traveling skimmer to show you about Schalome. I am anxious to see for myself how much has changed since last I was here.”

He grinned at her once he’d settled her in the thing he had called a skimmer, looking more relaxed and carefree than she’d ever seen him. “Ah! Alone at last,” he quipped.

Raina gave him a look. “Just you and me and the dozen heavily armed skimmers following us,” she said dryly.

He chuckled, but shrugged. “The realm is still in a bit of unrest. We can not be certain, yet, that we have ferreted out and eliminated all of Jaelen’s supporters. We will ignore them.”

He
ignored them. Raina found that a little more difficult, but the droves of people they met up with made that easier. Everywhere they went excitement rippled through the people that saw them, that bowed respectfully to Simon, looking at him, when they dared, as if they were in the presence of a god. Simon seemed to take it stride, smiling easily at anyone that made eye contact with them, although there weren’t many who seemed able to get up the nerve to do so.

“What does Pater-Draken mean? Your name isn’t Draken?”

Simon shrugged. “It is … ah ….” He paused to consider it. “An honorary thing from ancient times.” He smiled wryly and dropped an arm around her shoulders. “Long ago, the people looked upon the emperor as the son of the gods,” he whispered conspiratorially. “That is why the heir to the throne is always referred to as Father Dragon. We are credited--or were--as the origin of the race.”

She looked at him askance, not because she doubted it for a moment, despite the teasing way he’d said it, but because even she could see, without any understanding of the language at all, that they
still
looked upon him as a god.

“This is why they call you Matra-Draken,” he added, his eyes gleaming with amusement and something else she found hard to decipher. “But also because they have heard of your feats in battle and respect you as a great warrioress.”

“My feats …? You’re kidding, right?”

He chuckled. “
Now
you are credited with having slain a dozen draconian warriors. Before much longer it will be an entire battalion, but they are right about the gist of it. You are a remarkable woman, Rainie. You deserve their respect and honor. You were brave and strong and I would have swollen with pride in you myself if I had not been too terrified to appreciate it at the time.”

Raina reddened, both gratified by his praise and embarrassed. “I wasn’t brave. I was scared to death. I ran and hid.”

“You confounded the enemy, retreated to a more defensible position, and held them off with stones until I could rescue you--to say nothing of the man you dispatched to protect Audric. You kept your wits and fought them, for which I will be eternally grateful--because you protected the one thing most important to me--you. I am proud of you, and justifiably so. Few women in your position would have had the courage or the wit to fight for their lives. They would have wept, or screamed, and waited for someone else to protect them.”

She still felt very undeserving of his praise when she’d only acted on her instincts for survival, but if he wanted to be proud of her for it, she was happy to bask in it. She smiled at him and slipped an arm around his waist as they walked together. As much as she enjoyed seeing the things he took her to see, and admired the beauty he’d spoken of--and the place
was
beautiful, the scenery as well as the fine architecture of the buildings he took her to see--she enjoyed being with him far more.

She was exhausted by the time they returned to Draken Fortress, but happily so. She didn’t regret it even though her feet hurt from the soft soled slippers she’d been given to wear and her back hurt, and her belly felt as if it needed something more substantial to support its weight than her body, because she barely saw him for days on end afterward. Almost the only time they were together was at night, and she was usually exhausted and Simon seemed both exhausted and aggravated.

Audric entertained her. She didn’t doubt that Simon was behind it. If he hadn’t wanted Audric around her, he would’ve placed an army of guards between them, so she didn’t know if Audric actually wanted to be with her or not, but she enjoyed his company anyway. He took her for walks, which got shorter and shorter as time went on because it became an exercise in teeth gritted endurance for her to walk at all after many more weeks and she began to fear she was going to have to spend the last weeks of her pregnancy confined to bed. She was determined not to if she could help it. She had reached a point where she was just as miserable, physically, no matter whether she sat, or stood, walked, or reclined. At least as long as she could move around she wouldn’t be bored to death, or worse, have nothing to occupy her mind but her fears.

Those alternated between the baby’s health, having the baby, and the fear that Simon would dump her, whatever Audric had said, because he seemed to lose interest in having sex with her.

She quit worrying about any of it after a while, though. She’d grown too miserable to have any room left for anything except hoping the baby would come so she could get it over with. She ‘ripened’ well past her anxiety about not being able to get around, when even getting a decent breath of air was a struggle.

Audric stopped walking her to the garden and started carrying her out to get a breath of fresh air. As much as she appreciated his thoughtfulness, though, it was pure torture to sit for very long on the hard, backless bench. She couldn’t sit up straight because of the mound in her lap, and she couldn’t lean back far without her muscles screaming in agony.

As she sat staring at nothing in particular, thinking about nothing beyond the fact that she had to pee again when she’d just gone before she came out, idly rubbing her stomach, Audric finally turned to straddle the bench. “Come here. I will rub it and try to make it better.”

Raina looked at him doubtfully, but she was tempted. Finally, she dismissed her concern that Simon would find out and be mad and shifted closer. Audric dragged her between his thighs and pulled her back against his chest. Raina relaxed against him after a moment, closing her eyes in enjoyment as he began rubbing her belly soothingly. Just having him to lean against made her feel tremendously better because it was a strain to sit up without anything to lean on when she couldn’t sit straight up anymore because of her belly. The pressure of his hands was heavenly. Within moments she was half asleep.

“Simon’s going to be mad at both of us,” she murmured, feeling compelled to point that out.

Audric glanced up at Simon as he appeared in the door and strode toward them with angry, purposeful strides. Their gazes locked as Simon came to a halt a few feet away, his eyes blazing with anger. “I will deal with Simon’s temper,” he said grimly. “Does that make it feel any better, dearling?”

Raina expelled a deep, contented breath. “It feels wonderful! It almost doesn’t hurt now. I used to wonder what people meant when they’d say ‘it’ll feel good when it stops hurting’. I can almost get a really deep breath. Will you feel slighted if I fall asleep?”

“No.”

“Good,” she murmured. She drowsed, but she knew the moment Simon crouched beside her even before she felt the light touch of his lips. “Don’t be mad, Simon.”

He slipped an arm behind her back and one beneath her knees. “I am not, but I think you will be more comfortable sleeping in our bed.”

She doubted it, but she was relaxed enough she felt some hope of taking a nap so she didn’t argue. If the baby would just take a nap with her she thought she could manage it, but he was rarely still for very long at the time.

* * * *

Audric sent Simon a look that was a mixture of guilt and belligerence when Simon returned a short time later. He relaxed slightly when Simon, instead of blasting him with his temper, settled on the bench where Raina had been sitting and dropped his head into his hands.

“I am nigh sick with fear for her, Simon,” he said after a prolonged silence had settled between them that had grown from tension. “There is little more to her than belly now. It is your child, and I know that you will not like for me to say this, but is there not something that could be done?”

Simon lifted a haggard face to him. “Do you think I am not worried? I feel like weeping every time I look at her and it is all I can do to pretend that I am not anxious to keep from infecting her with my fear. I want the child, but not more than Rainie! Gods help me, but I would sacrifice it if I thought it would save her. I spoke to the court healer--asked him to take it from her, even though I know she would probably never forgive me for it--but he said it was too late, that it would be more dangerous to try, now, than to wait for nature to take its course.”

Audric’s shoulders slumped. “Mayhap it only seems huge because she is so small,” he said gruffly.

“It seems huge because it
is
--to her. The healer thought there might be more than one--which would have made me feel a great deal better, I do not mind telling you--but he could not find but one heartbeat.”

“Mayhap he is right and there are two,” Audric said more hopefully.

Simon nodded in agreement, but he didn’t look much heartened. He said nothing more and Audric had just decided to leave him with his thoughts when he finally spoke again.

“I have suggested to the council that they should consider you to take my place.”

Audric stared at Simon’s profile in disbelief for several moments before anger settled over him. “May I speak to you as your brother?”

Simon sent him a questioning look, but smiled faintly. “I thought that you always spoke to me as my brother.”

Audric glared him, unwilling to allow Simon to tease him out of his ill temper as he generally did. “Then I will tell you straight out that I want no part of it! I love you, Simon, both as my brother and my sovereign, but
this
I will not do for you! I have never refused to do anything you asked. I have always tried my best, regardless of how I might feel--but not this!

“I was not born to it, and not trained to it. I could not do it if I wanted to, and I do not want to even try. I knew from the moment that I realized that I loved Raina, that she was already lost to me, that there was no hope … at all. I can live with that because I must, but I will not be pushed into a position where I must marry for the sake of the realm! I will not
tie
myself to a woman I do love, and could never love--very likely could not even tolerate. I have no doubt that I will be miserable, but I am not going to be made
more
miserable by struggling with affairs of state and listening to the whining of some
princess
who thinks she has married beneath her because I am only a royal bastard!