His thumbs beat nervously against one another. “Graves said Siobhan followed the fairy to the entry of the club. I’d knotted the magic again so that if a Mantero tried to mask something, Graves would know immediately. He has permission to kill anyone who tries to walk out—well, except for the idiot humans who go in there in the first place.”
“I know. So the fairy that attempted to kill Siobhan was trying to leave. How did he get the jump on her?” Mr. McMurphy hadn’t lied about his niece. She was most definitely one powerful Guardian.
“No one saw, and Siobhan can’t remember. But when she hit the floor, Graves slit the fellow’s throat and brought her here. I hadn’t thought of it before, but there’s your answer.”
“What? I don’t follow.”
“If Death was as evil as everyone seems to think, he would have never found me.”
“What do you mean?”
He looked chagrined. “Evil can’t see this place, lass; I’ve told you time and again.”
“Oh, right. Sorry. I’m not firing on all cylinders. So you think Graves isn’t so bad?”
“May I ask why you are so curious about him?”
“Just trying to figure it all out and his place in it,” I admitted. “I know I keep saying this, but that the Manteros were in that club really does make me want to burn the whole place down.”
“Aye, my nieces said the same thing. But it’s patience we’ll be needin’. Graves has been able to come up with the location of a couple more of the Manteros’ hangouts through the information he’s received at Bells. So it will need to stay around a while longer.”
I wasn’t happy about that, but there wasn’t a lot I could do about it for now. “So you’re going to set up shop again? Help us fight the bad guys?”
He nodded. “There will come a time when those fighting on the side of good need a place where no evil can dwell. My guess is, even in your home you have those who have turned against you.”
I thought about what had happened a few weeks ago when one of our computer programmers had installed a virus that virtually shut everything down. That and the fact that the Manteros had controlled Gilly’s ex had made us all a little leery.
“This is a place where you and your kind are always welcome. It’s a safe house and will continue to be for as long as it’s needed.”
He sounded like that might be a really long time.
“Thank you for your time tonight.” I glanced down at my watch.
“Anytime, lass.”
I stood and leaned over and kissed the top of his head. “I should be mad at you for masking your magic, but I’m just grateful you’re on our side.”
He squeezed my hand. “Be gone with you, silly girl.”
I held my wrists in front of him, “Do you mind?”
“Not a bit.”
I touched them together and a few seconds later I landed in the weapons room. I’d meant to teleport to my bedroom, but once again my mind had wandered.
“Do you ever think about leaving a person a note or telling someone where you’re going?” Jake stood in the corner behind me.
“Jeez. You scared the crap out of me.” I whirled around. “For your information, I looked for you before I left, but you were busy talking to my mother.”
He leaned back against the wall. “So you took off so you didn’t have to be in the same room with her.”
What was it with everyone wanting to analyze my relationship with my mother? “No, if you must know, I went to check on Lourdes.”
He sighed. “That’s where you were for the first three hours.”
Damn GPS.
“I stopped by to chat with Mr. McMurphy. I was going to head out to London to check on the castle for the wedding, but Aspen was busy doing some charity thing with Huff.”
It took me a minute to realize why he was giving me an evil look.
“Oh, hell. I was off the grid—again.”
He raised an eyebrow as if to say I got it in one.
“It’s that damn pub. How about from now on when I’m in Montreal, you just assume that’s where I am.”
His tongue poked at the inside of his cheek. “Except when you’re ripped up and dying in the bottom of a basement where your comm doesn’t work?”
I rolled my eyes. “Yes, except for then.” I pushed myself up onto the counter. “I’m not going to win this argument, am I?”
The man didn’t say a word.
I know it’s low, but I faked a wince and moved my shoulder as if it hurt.
Concern slid onto his face, and I had to bite back a smile. “Are you okay?”
I pursed my lips. “Yes. But I think I may need some of those healing kisses again. I mean, you did such a great job last night.”
He didn’t fall for it. “That reminds me,” he said. “I’m curious. Did you happen to stop by the healers to make sure it was okay for you to teleport? Did it ever occur to you that you might have reinjured your arm again? For the third time in less than a week? Oh, and that you almost died for the third time in less than a week, less than twelve hours ago?”
This so wasn’t where I wanted to go with this. “I’m pretty sure we’ve already had this conversation, but to answer your question, no, I didn’t go to the healers. The wound has healed; for the most part anyway. I didn’t even pop a stitch.” I would never admit that at that particular moment my arm didn’t feel so great.
He reached out and put his hand on my shoulder, lightly, but I had to bite my lip from crying out. “That’s what I thought.” Taking his hand away, he moved to the door. “Courtesy. That’s all I ask, just let someone know you’re headed out. We can keep track of you, but when you go off the grid, like you’ve been for the last forty-five minutes, people worry.”
He slammed the door behind him.
Damn pub. Every time I went in, I ended up fighting with Jake. Why could I never just push the damn comm and tell them I was headed in? I needed to talk to Bailey. Maybe he could work with Mr. M so that if we walked into the place, it would send off a flare or something.
The crazy thing was, Jake cared. A lot. A guy didn’t get mad like that if he was just concerned.
Huh. I might be able to work this to my advantage. That is, if I could talk him into forgiving me.
No easy task, since he was pretty pissed.
I looked up to see the guys in the control room watching me. Once I made eye contact, they all pretended to be very busy.
I needed to talk to Jake, but in private. And I had to do it now.
CHAPTER 23
Jake was in the kitchen when I found him, pulling a soda out of one of the Sub-Zeroes.
“You’re right about everything. I can be an inconsiderate bitch at times. Does that help?” I pulled myself up on the granite countertop, which wasn’t easy with one hand. If Mrs. P saw me, she’d swat me with a dish towel. She didn’t like ass on the counter where she made food; of course, she would never say the word “ass.”
He shut the door but didn’t turn to look at me, choosing instead to look out the back window into the darkness. It took a moment, but I realized he could see me in the reflection of the glass. I stifled a smile.
“Not really.” Twisting the cap off, he took a long swig of the highly caffeinated beverage. “Do you remember several weeks ago when Claire brought you back after a particularly nasty fight? You’d been hurt so bad that she had to carry you home.”
I shrugged nonchalantly. “Yeah.” That night had changed me. That’s when it first occurred to me that I had a thing for Jake.
“Something happened when I saw you like that. For the first time I realized just how fragile you were. I’d seen you that bad off before, but it never quite affected me like it did that night. That’s when I realized I wasn’t as objective where you’re concerned as I’d like, because the idea that something terrible could happen to you pretty much rips at my soul.”
His back was still to me, but the meaning of his words washed over me. He more than cared.
Thank you, Jesus.
“Jake, I had no idea.” I reached a hand toward him, but he was too far away. “I told you I’m tough to kill.”
Turning, he took my hand in his. “You always say that. I agree that you’re tougher than most, but you’re still human. You could have died that night. You have to understand that makes it difficult for someone who cares about you.”
“You care about me?”
“Too much.” He let go of my hand and sat back in the chair. “Honestly, I don’t want to. I like my job, and caring about you makes it tough to be objective. Wondering if you’re going to come back this time and whether or not you’ve been injured interferes with everything I need to do to protect what is most important to all of us. Intellectually I know you are only doing your job as a Guardian, but here”—he put my hand on his heart—“I find it difficult. Caring about you is definitely interfering with my ability to do my job.”
I blew out a breath. “So what are you saying?”
“There’s something between us. Something I want to explore, but we can’t.” He let go of my hand, and I suddenly felt adrift. “I can’t do my job and be with you at the same time. I can pretend for the time being so that Ginjin will stay off of your back, but we can’t—do you understand what I’m trying to say?”
“No.”
Confused, he started to explain again.
The hurt curled up inside me like a giant ball and made me feel sick. I held up a hand to stop him. “No, I get what you said. But it doesn’t make sense. We both want to explore whatever this is. That should be the beginning of a really great story, not the end. Are you saying that you can stop caring about me?” I pushed myself off of the counter. “Seriously, Jake? Because I want you more than anything, and I know there’s nothing that could stop that. Nothing. I ached for you last night, and I’m not just talking about an extreme need for sex. I wanted your arms around me. I wanted to feel my head on your chest. I wanted to feel safe for one more second.”
I don’t cry, but I wanted to in that moment.
Suck it up, Al.
I pointed an accusatory finger at him, but he stood there as if he were frozen. “What kind of person can turn off feelings like that?” I moved to the door. “You know, I think I have a solution. I’ll find someone else to continue the ruse if need be. You know us Caruthers girls. We go through men like crazy. So you don’t worry that pretty little head of yours, Jake. I’ll find some other boy to play with me. And maybe he won’t be such a coward and will actually want me back.” I stomped out of the kitchen.
Stupid men. I didn’t know why I even bothered. He was no different than any of the others I dated; he just was better at masking the fact he was a big, scared jerk.
I made it to my bedroom door, but Jake stopped me from getting inside. Grabbing me by my good shoulder, he shoved me back against the wall and planted his lips on mine.
My first instinct when someone grabbed me like that was to throw a punch, but he must have anticipated it. Both of my hands were trapped in his, and he shoved them behind me. Warmth spread from my lips down my spine as his tongue forced my mouth open. I gave in to the sensation and kissed him back.
His body pressed into mine, and I honestly forgot where we were. The heat of him warmed me from my fingers to my toes, and I struggled to free my hands so I could touch him.
When he finally lifted his lips, I almost groaned with disappointment.
“From here on out, I am the only boy you will play with,” he said softly. “And for the record, the answer is no.”
“What?” I was in a haze of need, and my brain did not compute.
“I can’t turn off my feelings for you. I can’t stop wanting you.” The kiss this time was so filled with passion I thought I might melt from the intensity of it all.
He finally let go of my hands, and my arms wrapped around him. “I’m really pissed at you,” I whispered against his mouth.
“I know. How about you be mad somewhere besides here?” He nodded toward the corridor, and I heard the footsteps. We couldn’t be alone here. Even in my room there was a chance someone would interrupt us. I took the comm from behind my ear and stuck it on the doorframe.
“Fine.” I tried to be mean, but I couldn’t help but smile. “Put your arms around my waist.”
Twenty seconds later we were in Jake’s bedroom at his ranch.
He was the tiniest bit green, but he’d live.
“I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to that.” He leaned his forehead against mine.
“But you’re doing so much better.” I reached up and put my hand to his cheek.
He lifted his head, and we stared at one another.
“We’re going to do this, aren’t we?” I put a hand on his chest. Embarrassed and enthralled all at once, I kissed him.
Taking my hand, he tugged me toward him and wrapped his arms around me. “Everything changes.”
“Maybe, but this is good, Jake.” I put my hand on his chest. “Can’t you feel it?”
He kissed me again. “There’s nothing right now in the world that I want more than you,” he whispered against my lips.
I grinned and looked up through my lashes at him. “You’re making me kinda hot.”
“Kinda?” He tugged my hand and pulled me toward the bed. I landed on top of him. Pushing myself up, I straddled him.
The length of him warmed and grew beneath me and gave me power. His fingers slid along my chin and lips. “You’re so beautiful. There were days when I had to sit on my hands to keep from touching you.”
His hand slid down my hip. I leaned over for another kiss, unbuttoning his shirt as I did. The muscles beneath the starched white button-down were hard, and I decided in that moment that by the time the night ended, I would know every inch of the man’s body.
But right now I had a need, and I felt I’d go mad if we didn’t hurry.
“You know how we’ve been taking it slow? Right now I need things to move really, really fast, or I’m gonna explode.” I pulled my T-shirt over my head and tried not to wince when it caught on my shoulder. I didn’t do such a great job, because he lifted me off of him and sat me on the side of the bed.
“We can’t do this. You’ll hurt yourself again.” He examined the stitches.
I twisted around so that the shoulder was away from him. “If we don’t do this”—I took his hand and put it on my heart—“I’m not going to make it through the night. I’ll die of sheer need.” I leaned back on his pillows. “Make me feel safe, Jake. Please.”