Chapter 20
Payce kissed Tressie on the shoulder. “I'm going to miss you.”
“I'm going to miss you more,” she replied.
They lay in her bed wrapped in nothing but a sheet. They took advantage of Tressie's parents' long weekend getaway by having their own private getaway. This was their last night together before he reported to court the following day. His lawyer forewarned him that his parole would be revoked and he would have to serve out the final three years of his prison sentence.
The hardest thing for him to accept wasn't going back to jail, but leaving Tressie behind. She was the most valuable thing in the world to him. He had never opened up his heart to anyone until he met her. A lot of the girls he met in the past he used as toys, but Tressie was different. She was the kind of woman he dreamed of spending his life with, a woman who would stand by his side no matter the circumstance.
He pulled his arms around her tighter. Their eyes locked and silence seized the moment as their spirits took a hold of one another and wouldn't let go. It seemed as if God had taken the blinders off their eyes and they could see for the first time their destiny as soul mates.
“I need to talk to you about something.” Payce broke away from their shared moment. “I'm going to be away for three years and a lot can happen during that time.”
“Three years won't stop me from loving you.”
“You're familiar with that old saying âout of sight, out of mind?' The last time I was only away for six days and someone managed to steal you away from me. This time I'll be away for years.”
Tressie was embarrassed at how she had allowed a moment of weakness to overcome her.
“If you meet someone, don't hold yourself back because of me. We can use this time as a test. If we were really meant to be, then no one you go out with will be able to come between us. Of course we'll write and I'll call you, but if it is really meant for us to be together, we'll weather this storm. Do you understand?”
She nodded.
“Promise me one thing?”
“Anything,” she replied.
“Don't go out with Quinton.”
“What's wrong with Quinton?” she asked.
“I don't like him. He's not someone I'd like to see you with.”
“Don't be jealous,” she responded.
“I'm not jealous. I think that when you two got together he took advantage of the situation. He knew I was locked up and went after you. I don't trust him. Let's change the subject. I don't want to spend my last night with you talking about him. Where is the shoe box of money that I gave to you?” he asked.
“I put it in the bottom of my closet.”
“I need you to hold on to that money until I come home.”
“That's a lot of money. You trust me with ten thousand dollars in cash?”
“I trust you with my life,” he replied.
It warmed her heart to hear him say those words.
“Before I forget, can you leave me your Social Security Number before you leave in the morning?” she asked.
“What do you need that for?”
“I have to check your credit report just in case we ever get married. My mother believes that a man is only as good as his credit. She has always told me that a man who pays his bills on time will always take care of you.”
“Well, what does she say about a man who doesn't have any credit because I don't believe I've ever applied for anything before?”
“I don't know what she says about that. I'll have to ask her.”
She laid her head against his chest and drifted off to sleep.
At sunrise, Payce got up and dressed. He sat on the side of the bed for a second and watched Tressie sleep.
She is so beautiful
, he thought. He knew he was a really lucky guy to have her by his side. He had put her through hell and she still loved him.
“God,” he whispered softly, “watch out for her. She's a good girl who deserves the best. I'm not going to be around, so can you send a few angels to look out for her until I come home? Thanks.”
He got up, grabbed his bag, and left a single white rose lying next to her. He kissed her lips. “I love you,” he told her one last time and left.
A few hours later Tressie woke up to the sound of her alarm. She turned over, hit the off button, and opened her eyes. She felt around for Payce. He was gone and in his place was a white rose. She held the flower up to her nose to get a whiff of its faint fragrance.
He left without saying good-bye
, she thought. A tear rolled down her cheek. She had hoped to touch his face one more time before he went to jail. The next time she laid eyes on him would be through a glass partition.
She understood why he left the way he did. Neither of them could bear the thought of saying good-bye. She trembled at the thought of what was going to happen later that day in court. She suppressed the urge to throw on her clothes and run down to the courthouse. She envisioned throwing herself at the mercy of the court and begging them to release the only man she'd ever loved. But she knew deep down inside it didn't matter what she did, Payce was still going to have to do the time. She missed him alreadyâhis smile, his corny jokes.
She sat up, threw her legs off the side of her bed, and looked out the window. Dark storm clouds lingered above her house. Her first morning class started in forty-five minutes, but she couldn't concentrate on school. All she could think about was Payce. She lay back down in bed and wrapped the blankets around herself.
After watching an afternoon full of talk shows, Tressie got bored and turned on her computer. “I might as well get some school work done,” she mumbled. She shook the mouse connected to her computer and knocked over a small piece of scrap paper. She picked it up from off the floor. Written inside was Payce's Social Security number.
He remembered.
In no time, she logged onto the Equifax Web site, entered Payce's Social Security number, and answered a few questions. Within minutes a copy of his credit report appeared on the screen.
She scanned the report carefully. The only debt he owed was to a cellular wireless company. The outstanding balance was a little over two hundred dollars.
“That's not bad. We can handle that,” she said.
She scrolled down. Listed at the bottom were two judgments against him for child support. The balance exceeded thirty-five thousand dollars.
“Thirty-five thousand dollars!” she screamed. “For two children under the age of one he owes thirty-five thousand dollars?” She studied the report more carefully. “How in the world did he accumulate a debt this large?”
She remembered her friend Hope who had gotten married last year. Her husband had three children from a previous marriage. He was also behind in his child support payments. Once they got married, anything they tried to get on credit was denied.
Hope told her that there was no way of escaping child support. They couldn't get a house, a car, or a credit card. They couldn't even get approved for an apartment. Currently they were living in a garage apartment atop his momma's house.
Tressie figured that by the time Payce was released, his debt would have tripled.
Another obstacle
, she thought. Every time she and Payce got closer, something was there to tear them apart. Anxiety filled her stomach.
“What am I supposed to do?” she yelled.
The phone rang loudly in her ear. She stared at it for a moment. Not wanting to talk with anyone, she reluctantly answered it. “Hello.”
“Hello,” a woman called out from the other end. “I have a collect call from Payce. Will you accept the charges?”
“Yes, I will,” Tressie replied.
“Hello,” Payce screamed into the phone. Tressie could hear cars driving by in the distance.
“Payce, where are you?” she asked suspiciously.
“Tressie, I can't talk right now. I need you to listen. I jumped bail.”
“You did what?”
“I couldn't go back to jail. I got scared and ran.”
“Honey, we need to sit down and talk this through rationally. If you go down to the courthouse now, things won't be that bad.”
“I can't, Tressie. You don't how it is to be locked up. Those cells are cages and the inmates are the animals. Being confined plays with your mind. You're not just physically locked up, but also mentally.”
“Payce, I understand what you're saying, but running is not going to solve the problem. Tell me where you are and I'll come and get you.”
“Remember when I told you about the safe house that the fellows and I bought out of state for emergencies?”
“Yes, I remember.”
“Well that's where I am.”
“Okay, just tell me how to get there and I'll be on my way.”
“I don't want to say too much over the phone. I have already talked to Darshon. He's on his way to bring you the directions on how to get here. When you get here I want us to get married. I don't want to wait any longer. I want you to be my wife.”
“What about my family?” she asked. “My mother will be devastated if she isn't there to see me get married.”
“Tressie, we don't have to have a big wedding right now. We can go to the justice of peace. I promise you we will have a big wedding later. All right?”
“I suppose,” she replied.
“I'm going to hang up. I'll talk to you later tonight.” Before she hung up, he called out her name.
“Yes?” She replied. She thought he had remembered at the last minute to tell her he loved her.
“Don't forget to bring that shoe box full of money,” he told her.
“I won't,” she replied, disappointed.
She hung up the phone and began to pack her things. She pulled out sneakers, jeans, and sweaters. If Payce needed her, she was going to be there for him. She glanced over at her computer. Payce's credit report was still displayed on the screen.
What am I going to do? Payce wants to get married now. Does it really matter that he owes thirty-five thousand dollars in child support? Will he think I'm being selfish if I tell him I don't want to get married because of his children and the money he owes?
She sat on the side of the bed for a moment to think.
What about all the things that Payce has done to me?
She loved him, but she questioned his love for her. Would anyone else have gone through the things she did to make their love last? He was arrested for prostitution, cheated on her twice, had two children outside of their relationship, and endangered her freedom. Now he had a child support balance of over thirty-five thousand dollars. Elise's words echoed in her mind.
Things happen for a reason. Some things weren't meant to be.
“God, what am I supposed to do?” she cried out. She needed someone to talk to. She picked up the phone and called the only person she knew who would be honest with her.
An hour later Danyelle sat in Tressie's room.
“What do you think I should do?” Tressie asked.
“Did you pray on it?” Danyelle asked.
“No,” Tressie replied.
“Did you look to the Bible for answers?”
“Yes, and I couldn't find anything in there that pertained to Payce and me,” Tressie told her.
“That's hard for me to believe. Hand me that Bible please.”
Danyelle held a blunt in one hand as she reached for the Bible in the other. She began searching through the Bible.
“What about thisâEphesians 5:25: âHusbands must love their wives with the same love Christ showed the church. He gave up his life for her.'”
“Payce loves me,” Tressie said, defending herself and Payce.
“I didn't say he didn't love you, but to what extent does he love you? Does he love you enough to always put your interests before his? Did he put your interests before his when he picked up that bag full of cocaine in Harrisburg?”
“That was an isolated incident. Danyelle, watch what you're doing. You're burning up the Bible.”
Danyelle looked down. She had dropped a few ashes on the pages she was reading from.
“My fault,” she wiped away the ashes. “Listen to this. I Corinthians 13:4-5: âLove is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged.' Does that describe you and Payce?”
“I think so,” Tressie replied.
“Tressie, you can't think, you have got to
know
. We are talking about your future. Do you trust Payce with your future? You know I'm not going to tell you not to be with Payce, because I like him. But if you're thinking about marrying him, you have to be sure he's the one for you. Let's be honest, he has put you through a lot.”
“I can't blame him for all the problems we've been having. I did cheat on him with Quinton.”
“I wouldn't consider Quinton cheating. Quinton was a test to see if you really loved Payce, and you failed.”
“You can't tell me that I don't love Payce just because I made one mistake.”
“You have to ask yourself, was Quinton a mistake or were you drawn to him because there was something not quite right in your relationship with Payce? The only reason you and Quinton aren't together right now is because
you
chose to go back to Payce.”
Danyelle closed the Bible. “Did Darshon bring over the directions on how to get there?”
“Yeah, they're sitting over there on the desk.” She pointed to a sheet of paper. Danyelle went over and glanced at the directions, then placed them back on the desk.