Authors: Kate Vale
Margaret
reached for Suzanna’s arm. “I’m not done
yet
.”
Suzanna blew her nose
, knowing it was useless to object when her dearest friend was on a roll
.
Margaret pursed her lips.
“
It seems to me t
he solution is obvious.
” She took a sip of her tea and reached for another cookie.
“You need to find out how you really feel. And there
’s only one way to do that. You need to stop
hiding out
here, pretending to be busy with Kevin’s wedding
.”
“But—”
“You have to
talk to Jonathan.”
“I tried. I called twice. Both times, Nate said Jonathan wasn’t home. I wrote him a letter, but he hasn’t written back, and it’s been more than a week.” She sighed.
I know I’ve lost him.
“Well, then you have to
go
see him
.
When you do,
you’ll know how you feel, and I have a hunch he’s going to tell you how he feels. I
n fact, I’ll bet he already has.
”
Suzann
a sipped her tea, ate a cookie
and
gazed back
at
her friend.
Do I dare when I don’t even know if he’ll speak to me?
“I’ll think about it.”
She looked at her watch. “I have that appointment for my facial and the hairdresser.”
“Go do that and meet the in-laws on Wednesday.” Margaret reached for her coat. “Then call me and tell me when you want me to watch Sam.”
Chapter 16
The next morning, Suzanna
checked with the airlines and had just pulled her bags out of the closet when the doorbell rang. Sam whined then woofed once, his tail wagging furiously as he approached the front door.
“Back up, Sam.” She opened the door to Jonathan’s broad shoulders in a fur-edged leather jacket. Stetson, boots, and all. Only his big spotted horse was missing.
“Hello,” he said, his blue eyes warming her.
Her heart skidded down to her toes. “Oh, my goodness. Come in.” She reached for his hand and pulled him inside.
After a hug she wanted to prolong forever, she looked into those blue orbs that seemed to magnetize her.
In answer to her unspoken question, he said, “Curly said you called.”
“Curly?” her voice seemed a trifle squeaky to her own ears.
Jonathan chuckled. “He said Nate was miffed—something about the way you left. When I called to tell him I’d be a couple days later than expected, Nate didn’t say you’d called, or that your letter had arrived.” He lifted her chin and gave her a welcome kiss that shot skyrockets of heat from her heart to her brain, then down to her toes, and back again.
Several kisses later, she walked him into the living room. “Are you here for a seminar?”
“No. A Western Ranchers Association meeting in Dallas. I rerouted myself through Minneapolis.” He stopped talking for a moment. “I have a question for you,” he said, his voice like velvet. She wanted to wrap herself around him and listen to that voice forever.
Her pulse stilled for a moment, before beginning to race. “You want to know why I left without saying good-bye. I didn’t want to leave and I was afraid if I saw you, well … I would have delayed going … for a while longer.”
Maybe forever.
“You said you weren’t going to stay at the cabin.” He enveloped her hands in one of his, its heat drawing her closer.
“Emma asked me to stay with her.”
Suzanna led him into the sun room. “
Let me make some tea
, or would you prefer coffee?”
“Tea’s fine. Any chocolate chewies?” He grinned at her.
She smiled
, walked into the kitchen to fill a plate
and placed
it
on the table
. “
A fresh batch, from yesterday
.”
He
reached for a cookie, stopped and
wrapped his arms around her
instead
. “Suzanna, I
want you to come back to the ranch
.”
Her heart was jumping and she had trouble catching her breath
.
Images of the two of them together cascaded through her mind, preventing her from speaking.
“How long were you thinking I should stay?”
Tell me forever and I will.
Someone rattled the front door.
“Were you expecting guests?” he asked.
“No. Could you hold that thought?” she asked as she edged toward the front door then stopped when she saw who was standing there.
Jonathan
opened his mouth to say more
,
and thought better of it when
Penny walked in.
She
halt
ed
in midstride, looked past Suzanna at Jonathan,
and crossed her arms over her chest. “What are
you
doing here?”
Jonathan stood up. “
I was in town and stopped by for a visit
.
”
Suzanna pointed toward the table. “
Would you like to join us? We were just about
to have
a cup of
tea,
or coffee,
if you’d pre
fer.”
“
Never
mind
, Mother. I’ll talk to you later
.”
Jonathan watched Penny depart. “Does she always pop in like that, unannounced?”
“If you mean, does she check up on me withou
t calling first, the answer is yes. But
I’m going to have to talk to her about it. It’s really getting on my nerves.”
Minutes later
, the phone rang.
“Oh, hello, Kevin. Yes, he is. Of course, you’re welcome.
No, tomorrow, I believe. Okay, darling. See you later. Give my love to Ronnie. Bye.” She returned to the table. “That was Kevin. He was planning to come for dinner, but he begged off.”
“It appears the troops are massing. Coming to your rescue, perhaps?”
“Oh, I’m sure not.”
But
her eyes took on a wary look, and she was biting her lower lip. “When did you say you were going back home, to the ranch?”
How long will it take me to convince you to come with me?
“I’ll stay another day, or two.”
As long as it takes.
“Maybe longer.”
“Are you staying at Jamie’s? Didn’t you say you do that when you come to the Twin Cities?”
“I came to see you.” He set his cup down.
“Then why don’t you stay here—I have a guest room.”
She
took
his hand and
headed for the stairs,
a look of anticipation in her eyes
that he took as a positive signal that his body was already responding to.
The
phone rang
again
.
“You’re very popular today,” he said, his mouth quirking to one side.
“I can’t imagine who it would be this time. Usually, it’s so quiet around here.” She reached the phone on the third ring.
“Oh, hello, Penny. I’m sorry. I forgot.
Let me call
you tomorrow.
” Suzanna’s brow wrinkled. “Penny, stop. No, I will not discuss this right now. Penny—
”
Suzanna pursed her lips together and walked to the corner of the kitchen, her shoulders hunched. “I’ve already told you. No, I’m not. Penny. Stop.”
During her silence, one of Suzanna’s feet began to tap nervously. Then her voice took on a firmer tone. “No. Not tonight. Not tomorrow, either. I’ll call you. Later. Good-bye.
”
She sighed as she put the phone down and turned back to him. She looked like she was trying to smile.
He waited an extra beat and set his cup down. “Will you come with me—back to the ranch?” Jonathan repeated. “You know I care about you.”
“I’d like to, but …” Her voice trailed off, uncertainty coating every word.
“
I imagine you need to make plans first. I understand.” He waited. Maybe if he gave her some space, though he ached to take her in his arms, to take her into his bed.
I love you, don’t you know that?
But had he said it? Was that why she was hesitating? Or was it something else?
Maybe she didn’t want him in the same house she’d shared with her husband.
“I think I’ll get a motel room. We’ll go to dinner. And talk.”
I’ll tell her then.
“No. No, Jonathan. Please.
You can stay here.
” She reached for his hand
again then stopped on the landing
.
“
Except
—it’s just that—
what if …
I feel kind of funny
…”
He’d guessed right.
I’ll bet she’s worried Penny will drop in again, unannounced.
He brushed her cheek with one hand and looked into her eyes. “I have a pretty good idea how you were treated by your husband. And I understand you had a lot to get over after he died.
” He couldn’t prevent a small sigh that escaped his lips.
“I never thought I’d ever let another woman into my life. Until I met you.” He gazed into her eyes, those green pools that begged him to take the leap exposing his heart. “You make me a better man, Suzanna.”
“You don’t need me to make you a better man. You’re already wonderful. The best man I’ve ever known.” Her eyes filled and she looked away from him, her hands plucking at her shirt.
Time to just say it.
“I love you, Suzanna.” He sighed. “Only
I can’t compete with
your husband
. He may be dead, but your memories of him and what he did to you are still very much alive. He’s a ghost I can’t fight, and I can’t erase him from your mind, either, much as I would like to.” He hugged her, loving the feel of her heartbeat against his chest
before lowering his mouth to claim her again, his lips and tongue telling her what he wanted, the rest of his body eager to follow suit.
She kissed him back
.
Jonathan watched her face. Wa
s she thinking about
her husband and how he had put her down?
Why
would a man do
that, unless it was to build
him
self up?
He
thought back to the many times he had encouraged his daughter to speak her mind, never to lose her sense of individuality, never to lose confidence in herself, married or not.
He had to make Suzanna see how easily she would fit into his life at the ranch. But would she leave her children, all her friends, to build a new life with him? He stroked her hair and began again. “I love you,” he repeated. “I want you to live with me at the ranch. Or is it something you just can’t do?”
He felt more than heard a little gasp from her. Was it a sign he’d said too much? He stepped away from her, the better to gain control over his feelings, his arousal.
In the long silence that followed, her eyes seemed to have shuttered closed, no longer a window into her heart, telling him how she felt about what he’d said.
He couldn’t help the small sigh that escaped his lips.
“I think
I’d better get a room at a hotel,” he repeated
.
“I
f
Penny
found me in your bed
, she’d
probably
try to gouge out my eyes.”
Suzanna laughed nervously.
“Actually, she might aim a bit lower than that.”
After another long pause, she asked, “Can we still have dinner, and talk?”
“Of course.”
But then Suzanna surprised him when s
he
slid her arms around his neck and
pressed against his chest
. He
backed
up and found
him
self
against
a
wall as her hands
began to
wander suggestively.
“If you insist on
getting a hotel room
, may I come with you?”
Her voice had taken on a breathy quality, as if she couldn’t get enough air. Her green eyes were huge, her cheeks a deeper hue than when he’d first arrived.
He chuckled, his heart speeding up at the thought as his blood zoomed straight down to the nether regions. “Y
ou are a vixen
.”
He held her close, all too aware of what her touch was doing to him.
Whose heart is beating faster now?
“What you’re doing, Suzanna … are you sure?”
She nodded.
He picked up his suitcase, reached for her hand and turned in the direction of the front door.
When they arrived at the hotel he selected, Suzanna followed him to the room, feeling shy and eager
by turns, as if this was her first time with a man
.
She felt an overwhelming need to touch him, to confirm that he had come to see her, to be with her, that he loved her. She couldn’t let him leave without showing him how much she wanted to be with him. But not in her home. Not where memories of Brad assailed her.
Jonathan
placed his suitcase on the stand next to the bed
, turned slowly and gazed at her, a slow smile lighting his face
.
Suzanna
stood for a moment, her back pressed against the door. Then she reached for him and he enveloped her in arms both strong and gentle. He seemed to be trembling
.
Were they both shaken by this unspoken declaration she’d made? She’d never done this before. She had to stop thinking and just act.
“I love you, Suzanna. Like I’ve never loved anyone.” His voice rumbled in his chest and seeped into her bones. Was that why her legs suddenly felt like rubber, unable to hold her upright? He’d said it again, words she’d wanted to hear for so long, had feared she’d never hear.
She burned with a heat that consumed every cell, every thought. No way was she going to leave. The kisses he’d given her before were a ribbon around her heart
tethering
her to him
, promising more
.
She wanted all of him, every inch of him, every part of him.