Dreams (7 page)

The atmosphere suddenly changed, the closeness between them replaced by tension. “I know.” Joe stepped away from her.

She watched him, half nervous, half excited. What was he going to say?

He swallowed. “I’ve actually been thinking about it a lot, Els.”

“And?” She held her breath, her heart starting to race.

Joe pushed a hand through his hair. “And…” He hesitated, his eyes on hers. “We just can’t do things like that.”

She felt a crashing sense of anti-climax. It was so not what she’d expected him to say. “You…you mean you don’t
want
to?” she stammered.

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” he answered swiftly.

“But we’re cousins. Dad would flip—”

“We could keep it secret!” Ellie burst out.

“It would never stay secret. You know it wouldn’t. Someone would find out. And…we just shouldn’t.”

Ellie stared at him. She knew what he was like, how he liked to please people, how he hated fights. But the more he said no, the more certain she felt that it was what she wanted. “If we want it, we shouldn’t just give up. You
do
like me?”

He looked torn. “Yes. Of course I do—so much.”

“Well, I like you so couldn’t…couldn’t we just try?”

But even as she spoke, she saw the resignation in his eyes. He was shaking his head.

Ellie felt tears well up. Not wanting him to see how upset she was, she swung around and started to hurry away.

“Ellie! Wait!”

Taking a breath to calm herself, she stopped and turned.

Joe was looking at her pleadingly. “This doesn’t have to change anything. We can still be friends, can’t we?”

She hesitated, but couldn’t imagine them not being friends and so she nodded. “Yes.” Her throat hurt with the tears she was holding back. “Though you’re wrong about this,” she said stubbornly. “I know you are.”

Turning on her heel, she walked on. This time he didn’t call her back.

ELLIE WENT STRAIGHT TO SPIRIT
. Reaching the sanctuary of his stable, she put her arms around his neck. The words tumbled out of her as she told him what had just happened. She wasn’t sure how much he understood about boy and girl stuff but it was enough he knew she was upset. She felt the waves of comfort coming from him and gradually her feelings calmed. She sighed and, resting her head against his neck, replayed the conversation with Joe in her head. It was almost impossible to believe that Joe had completely given up the idea of them being together. They really were so perfect for each other.

I’m not going to give up
, she thought,
feeling a rush of determination. I’m right about this and Joe will see it in the end. I know he will.

By the time Ellie went to help with the feeds, she felt back in control. She would give Joe some time. If he liked her and she liked him, surely he was going to change his mind and they could become boyfriend and girlfriend in the end. All she had to do was wait. Admittedly she never found waiting easy but she was going to try.

She felt a bit awkward as she went into the feedroom and saw Joe, but with Len and Luke both there too, she quickly slipped back into acting normally. She and Joe didn’t have much chance to talk; they were both too busy with the usual morning chores. But they did meet up by the muck heap when Luke rode Lucifer for the first time. Wanting to watch, Ellie grabbed a broom, only to arrive at the muck heap and find Joe had done the same. Realizing they’d had the same thought, they smiled awkwardly.

“Great minds think alike.” Joe spoke lightly, but Ellie knew him well enough to read the uncertainty in his eyes.

“I couldn’t miss this.” She smiled at him and instantly he looked relieved, glad she wasn’t in a mood with him.

Luke led Lucifer up to the ring. The gelding sidled and jogged like a racehorse in the paddock. Sasha walked alongside, talking constantly to Luke, but his attention was completely on the tense horse, his hands firm on the reins. Len was waiting by the gate.

“Good luck,” Sasha called as Luke reached the gate.

“Luck’s got nothing to do with it,” Len said brusquely from the ring. “Riding well is what counts.”

Ellie could see the excitement in Luke’s eyes. She knew she would have felt exactly the same if she’d been about to prove herself capable of riding Lucifer in the ring.

Luke swung himself easily into the saddle. The gelding immediately plunged forward, but Luke kept his seat and moved with him. Clicking his tongue, he gathered the reins and started to trot him around in circles.

Ellie watched, wondering if there would be a fight, but to her relief Lucifer settled down quickly. He was soon on the bit, his neck arched, his smooth stride effortlessly covering the ground. He was beautiful to watch and Ellie could see why he had won so much during his first year in the show ring. He was very responsive, and Luke barely had to move in the saddle as he rode him in figures of eight and serpentines.

“Look at him,” said Joe admiringly as he and Ellie swept, keeping their eyes on the ring. “He’s got real star quality.”

Both Luke and Len were soon smiling. Eventually, Luke brought the horse to a halt and patted him, then Len mounted. He rode as a judge in the ring would, his reins slightly long and hands light, seeing how responsive the horse was. Lucifer went just as easily for him.

“There,” he said, when he finally stopped him. “I said he’d calm down and be just fine.” He clapped the horse’s neck. “Good lad.”

“Should I take him down the lane to cool him off?” Luke asked.

Len nodded and dismounted. “Then he can go out in the field again.”

“Well, that went better than expected,” Joe said to Ellie as Luke patted the horse too and led him out of the ring.

Ellie watched Lucifer. In the menage he had seemed fairly calm and relaxed, but as Luke led him back towards the yard he tensed up. His ears flickered back and forward and he started to jog and sidle.
Why?
Ellie thought to herself. Most horses walked eagerly out of the school, pleased to have finished work. She leaned on her broom. She just couldn’t figure Lucifer out. She wished he had talked to her.

Just listen.
Spirit’s words came to her as she watched Lucifer being led into his stable.

I tried that
, she thought in frustration.
But as he didn’t talk to me, I had nothing to listen to!
If only Spirit had given her some other clue about what to do.

John Taylor, the vet, arrived just before lunch in his battered four-wheel drive. He was an experienced vet in his fifties. After checking Lucifer over and finding him in good health, John turned his attention to Spirit.

“So, what’s up with him?” he asked Ellie as they walked to the stable.

“He’s been stiff for the last few days. I think his fetlocks are hurting him,” said Ellie.

At first, Spirit was nervous. He was still wary of strangers, particularly men. But his trust in Ellie was obvious, and while she held and soothed him he let John listen to his heart, examine him and check his legs. After Ellie had trotted him up and down so John could see his movement, the vet looked thoughtful. “Well, there’s nothing definite,” he said as Stuart came over to join them and see what he thought. “Spirit’s a little stiff, as you say. At his age and with his past…” He looked at Spirit assessingly. “I’d say it’s likely he’s got a degenerative joint problem—a touch of arthritis.”

Ellie frowned. “Arthritis?”

“Yes, I’m afraid there’s nothing you can do about it, love. It’s just old age and wear and tear, but there’s also no need to panic.” John’s eyes were kindly as he saw her face. “If you manage it carefully, he’ll probably be fine for quite a few years to come. Keep exercising him and turning him out—rest him if the ground is particularly hard or if he looks especially stiff. If it gets worse let me know and I’ll investigate further. We’ll probably have to consider pain relief in the future, but he should be OK for now.”

Ellie nodded, feeling torn between relief that there wasn’t anything badly wrong and worry about what it would mean. “Is there anything else I can do?”

“You could add cod liver oil to his feed. That’s a traditional remedy.”

“Equi-Glow does several supplements for joint problems,” Stuart told Ellie. “We can use one of those. There’s a nettle and dandelion one—”

“Nettles?” Ellie interrupted.

Stuart nodded. “I know it sounds odd, but they’re good for arthritis. And horses seem to know that. You’ll often see older horses graze on them if there are any in their field—although a lot of horses will only eat them if they’ve been picked and left on the ground.”

So that was why Spirit had been showing her nettles! Ellie was dumbfounded. She stared at Spirit. He looked back patiently.

All along, you were trying to show me what you needed
, she thought.

She became aware that Stuart was talking to her about the different supplements that were available. She smiled and nodded, but was too busy watching Spirit to pay much attention. How could she have ignored his messages so completely?

As soon as she could she took him to his stall and, although it was the afternoon and there were things to do, she locked herself in his stable and opened her mind to his.

Spirit, I’m so sorry
, she told him quickly.
All the time you kept showing me the nettles—you tried to
take me to them
, she said, remembering how he had pulled her to the side of the path.
But I just didn’t get it. Deep down I knew there had to be a reason why you kept showing me nettles, but I couldn’t work it out so I just decided to ignore you.

Spirit sent her a wave of love.

She stared at him. There wasn’t even a hint of reproach. She had ignored him but he wasn’t blaming her.

You should be mad with me
.

She sensed his confusion. It was as if he couldn’t understand the thought. She suddenly realized that to him it didn’t matter that she hadn’t listened. He didn’t blame her the way a human might have done. All she felt from him was relief now she knew what he meant—and the same love as always. She swallowed. Horses were amazing. They didn’t lie, they didn’t blame—all they asked for was to be treated kindly, and that made them content. She hugged him. A picture of some nettles came into her mind and Spirit nudged her gently with his nose.

Ellie took the hint and smiled. There was no way she would ignore him again.
OK. I’ll fetch some now.

Still thinking about it all, Ellie went out and found some gloves and secateurs, then returned ten minutes later with a bucketful of nettles. She put them on the straw and Spirit started to eat them. It was amazing when she thought how hard he had been trying to communicate what he wanted.

“I’ll listen next time you tell me something,” she whispered. “Oh, Spirit, I promise I will.”

ON FRIDAY, JOE WAS COMPETING
in an Easter show on Wisp, a young show hunter pony. Three of the liveries were entered too, so Joe and Len were out for the whole day. Ellie enjoyed riding without her every move being watched, and at lunchtime she took Spirit out for a hack. Since the vet’s visit, she had picked nettles for him twice a day and Stuart had found an Equi-Glow supplement that was particularly good for horses with arthritis. There might be no cure but she wanted to make sure Spirit’s aches and pains were eased as much as possible.

It was lovely being out with him; they ambled along the lane and stopped to look down the mountainside. The sun was shining and lambs were bouncing around the fields. Ellie leaned forward, putting her arms around Spirit’s neck. There was no place she would rather be. Her thoughts skipped forward to that night when she and Joe would go to the movies.

Would the evening end with her feeling as happy as she was now?

Maybe. After all, despite everything Joe had said, he did like her. She wondered if he was also thinking about the night ahead while he was at the show. Smiling to herself, she sat up, touched her heels to Spirit’s sides and rode on.

When she got back, she decided to groom Merlin. She knew Joe would be pleased and so she brushed the little bay pony with the body brush until his coat shone. She even oiled his hooves and put a tail bandage on his tail. He seemed to love the fuss, nuzzling her shoulder as she put a final polish on his coat by smoothing over him with a cactus cloth.

As she stood back to admire him, Luke brought Gabriel and Pericles on to the yard and started preparing them for the evening’s indoor jumping show. Sasha was helping him.

“I could come with you tonight,” the elder girl offered, a little too hopefully.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine,” Luke told her. “It’s just a jumping show.”

“But—”

“Nah, don’t worry, babe. I’ll manage.”

Sasha obviously wanted to go, and pouted, but Luke took no notice.

Ellie wondered if things were cooling between them. It wouldn’t surprise her. After all, they’d lasted almost a month—a record by Luke’s standards.

At five o’clock all the grooms left. Sasha flounced off, barely saying goodbye to Luke. He didn’t seem bothered, though, as he packed up the small horsebox.

Ellie was just doing a final check of the water buckets for the evening when she heard Joe returning. She went to help unload the horses.

“How did it go?” she called, reaching the car park as Joe got out of the cab.

“Great. Wisp won. Fizz got a second, Bill got a fourth and Darcey won her class and the championship.”

They both helped to put the horses and ponies away, rugging them up and feeding them.

“So, what time are we leaving?” Ellie finally asked Joe, trying to sound casual, as they carried the last two saddles to the tackroom.

Joe looked awkward. “Um…I need to talk to you about that.”

“Why?”

Just then, the house door opened. Len stood in the doorway, wearing smart trousers. “Get yourself moving, Joe. We need to be gone in ten minutes.” He went back inside.

Ellie looked at Joe. “Gone? Where are you going?”

“Look, I’m sorry, Ellie.” Joe looked a bit embarrassed. “But Dad wants me to go with him to Jeff Hallett’s party tonight. All the people that Equi-Glow sponsors are supposed to be there. I don’t want to, but Dad thinks we should keep up the united family front.” He saw her face. “I really should go, Els. I’m sorry. I hadn’t realized Dad would expect me to.”