Dreamscape: Saving Alex
Read Dreamscape: Saving Alex Online
Authors: Kirstin Pulioff
Dreamscape: Saving Alex
by Kirstin Pulioff
Dreamscape: Saving Alex
Copyright © 2015 Kirstin Pulioff
Cover Copyright © 2015 Elizabeth Mackey Graphics
Edited by Quill Pen Editorial Services
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED:
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prior permission in writing of the author, nor be otherwise circulated in any
form of binding or cover other than which is published. Your purchase allows
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Warning:
The
unauthorized reproduction or distribution of this work is illegal. Criminal
copyright infringement is investigated by the FBI and is punishable by up to 5
years in federal prison and a fine of $250,000.
Publisher’s Note:
This is a work of fiction. All characters, places, businesses, and incidents
are from the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual places, people, or
events is purely coincidental.
First Edition—2015
Dedication
This book is dedicated to the friendships that shape my life.
To my best friend and husband, Chris—life wouldn’t be the adventure it is
without you.
And to my childhood friend, Natalie—Whatsamattmoo.
I pushed the golden
nuggets around my plate. It was a bribe meal. I knew it as soon as I saw the
table laid out with all my favorite food. Mom was buttering me up for
something. I just didn’t realize it would be something that was going to
totally ruin my life. And maybe, if I was still five years old, it would’ve
worked.
I shuffled the
food, pushing one of the nuggets under the mashed potato volcano until it
erupted. A slow trail of chunky gravy slid down over the side of the plate.
My mom arched a
brow, glancing purposefully between me and the brown puddle congealing on her
nice tablecloth.
I ignored her. She
had been doing it to me for years. Now it was my turn. It killed me not eating
the bribe, but I couldn’t do it. She wouldn’t win. Not this time. As long as I
didn’t look at the pile of sweet rolls in the middle, I would be fine. Easier
said than done. My mouth watered as I glared across the table.
My mom lowered her
napkin and refilled her wine glass. “Alexis, honey, do you want to talk
about
it?”
I met her gaze
coolly. “Do I want to talk
about
it? I
thought
we did talk
about
it last month, when you told me we were moving over winter break. Three months,
Mom, that’s what you and Dad said. Not this weekend.” My teeth hurt from
clenching, but if I released my jaw, tears
would
fall. I couldn’t let that happen. Nothing would be worse than giving
her that satisfaction.
I focused on the
wall behind her, skimming over the sealed moving boxes until I found the corner
with the torn paisley wallpaper.
Bad
idea. I’d never understood why they hadn’t fixed it. Everything else in our
house had been upgraded over time, except that. It stood out as the one
imperfection. And it was my fault. Why couldn’t they just fix it so we could
move on? I brushed my blonde hair out of my eyes, pausing at the slight
indentation of the scar at my hairline. It had been seven years now, but still,
I hadn’t forgotten. They hadn’t let me.
With that one
glance, I was nine years old again, crying in the corner. But I wasn’t that
little girl anymore, and I wasn’t going to let her see me cry. No matter how
much I wanted to. No matter how powerless I felt. I wasn’t going to admit it.
Admitting it only tightened the collar around my neck. No, I wasn’t going to
break. Not this time.
“Really Alex, try
to be reasonable.” Mom’s voice broke through my thoughts.
“Reasonable?” I
heard my voice squeak as I turned my attention back to her. My knuckles
tightened around the fork. “You
think
I’m
the one being unreasonable? When you bumped up our move to tomorrow? How did
you expect me to react?”
“Civilly,” she
muttered, taking a sip of her wine.
I glared at her.
“Why couldn’t we wait until break?”
“Sometimes plans
change,” she said. She wrung the cloth napkin around her polished nails and
pushed her plate to the side. “We have to do what’s best for the family, and
right now, that’s moving a bit sooner. Your dad’s
already
over there. He’s been working long hours and misses
us. You can’t blame him or me for wanting to be together. Being apart like this
has been hard for us.”
“And what
about
me? Don’t you care
about
how hard this is for me?”
“We do, but it
won’t
seem
so
bad
once we’re all back together and you’re settled in.
Dad’s already checked out the school and gotten the house ready for us. He says
everyone’s real nice. You’ll make new friends in no time.”
I narrowed my eyes
and cocked my head to the side, looking closer at my mom. Her voice was calm,
but the slight twitch of her lower lip gave her away. It was her tell. They had
known and just hadn’t told me. Well, if they
thought
I was mad with three months’ notice, how did they
expect me to handle this?
“I don’t want new
friends or a new
anything
. I just want to
stay here. Can’t I stay with Natalie or something, at least until break? I
don’t want to miss the—”
“Honey, that’s just
not possible.” She lifted the half-emptied wine glass to her lips.
“Why not?”
“Because we’ve made
up our minds. We want you with us. Our family’s been apart long enough. Too
long,” she said, finishing off the glass.
“But y-you
promised,” I sputtered, wishing my voice didn’t shake.
She didn’t notice.
She was focused on filling her empty glass, swirling it until it left a residue
below the rim. “And we’re sorry, but this decision’s final.”
“You’re sorry?
That’s supposed to make me feel better? How can I believe a word you say
anymore? You keep changing things so they’re more convenient for you!” I
could
n’t help myself. Upsetting her made me feel better.
She spread her
hands out in defeat. “You’re right, and we knew you’d be upset.”
“You knew, and yet
you did it anyway?”
“Alex, you’re not
the only one in this family. The decision was ours. And it’s final.”
“But—” I
floundered. She was right. I wasn’t the only one in this family—just the only
one without a choice.
“That’s it,” she
said with an edge that told me we were done. She pulled her plate back in front
of her, pretending the cold chicken was her favorite. “Now tell me, what
happened at school today?”
I pressed my tongue against the back of my teeth,
waiting until my chin stopped quivering.
“You
want to
know
how school was? Let me tell
you.” Anger punctuated each word as I shook my head. “Mr. Phillips loved my
sketch. I got a C on my chemistry test. Oh yeah, and Brian asked me to
Homecoming.” The last words spilled out before my voice could falter.
My mom stopped
mid-bite and smiled. “Oh honey, that sounds wonderful. Hmm, Brian… That name
sounds familiar. Is he the one from your homeroom class?”
My mouth dropped
open. Was she serious? “Yeah, it’d be great if we had three months left here,
like
you promised. But now I’ll have to cancel. How
could
you do this to me?” I shouted, almost falling out of
my chair as I pushed away from the table. I stomped past her, avoiding her
eyes. It hurt to
look
at her.
“We’re just trying
to do what’s right for the family,” she yelled at my back.
“Whatever,” I yelled down the stairs. They didn’t
care about
the family
, just about them. I slammed the door and nearly
tripped over a pile of boxes stacked behind the door.
Did she really expect me to pack when my whole world was
falling apart?
I threw
myself on
the bed and screamed into one of my pillows.
How could they do this to
me? Make me leave my friends, my school, everything familiar? I didn’t care if
it made sense to them. It wasn’t fair to me. Where was the reassurance that the
cracks widening in my heart would heal?
Tears
stained
the pillow, and I tossed it to the far corner. I was tired of
feeling. Of being torn between extremes. Since they’d told me we were moving,
the past month had been a roller coaster of emotions. Swells of fury punctuated
by brief moments of relief…then I plunged into the depths of inconsolable
grief. I wanted off the ride.
Tonight would be hard enough without giving in to
every emotion.
Tonight… The clocked ticked down in my mind. I
groaned, flipping onto my back. How could she expect me to pack my whole room,
my whole life, in one night? It was impossible.
I looked around the room, the perfect time capsule
of my life. Shelves, bulletin boards, and my desk overflowed with stuff. I
didn’t believe in empty space. Empty space meant something was missing. Beside
my desk, behind a row of rock climbing trophies, a mosaic of bright colors hid
the white walls. My abstract art projects curled around a still life, and the
ribbons from my competitions fit together like a puzzle.
Mom and I had argued for weeks about that wall.
Not too much of a surprise. We argued about everything. But that wall topped
the list. She wanted to frame them, to highlight my achievements, as she called
it. I refused. I knew the truth. She wanted order and control in the one place
I denied it.
She controlled everything else around the house,
but not here. My room was off-limits. And they had respected that, but now… now
the cardboard boxes leaning against my dresser said something different. I
clenched my jaw tighter.
A stray tear broke through my defenses, cooling
the flush of my cheeks.
No matter how many times I replayed it in my mind,
it never got better. When they told me, I lost it, in the worst possible way.
Everything became their fault. It didn’t matter if it was or not, I blamed
them. More specifically, I blamed my dad, and he knew it as he boarded the
plane.
After he left, I stopped talking to him and my
mom. It wasn’t worth the aggravation. I couldn’t even look at them without
flipping out, let alone articulate the concerns that really mattered. And
anything I said now was pointless. It was too late. I was walking into social
suicide, and I’d let them get away with it without a real fight. My social
career was over, and it had only just begun, especially since Brian had started
paying attention to me.
I smiled.
Brian
.
Everything about him was perfect. From the
disheveled way his bleach-blonde spiked hair shot off in different directions
to the deep blue eyes that always seemed to be on the move, I found nothing
wrong with him. Even the feature he considered his one imperfection, the small
patch of freckles over his nose, matched mine.
We were made for each other. But now I would never
know how it would end.
I screamed into the pillows again. No matter how I
looked at it, this move sucked. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. I
wanted my happy ending!
From under the pillows, I barely heard the
doorbell. When it rang again, I glanced at the clock by my bed, half-hidden
behind a stack of notes and photos. Seven o’clock. Who would be here that late?
Crap. How had I forgotten?
That had to be my
best friend Natalie.
When my parents told me we were moving, her
solution was simple—sleepovers. Just like when we were kids. I had been looking
forward to this all week, until my mom dropped the bombshell at dinner.
My feet hit the ground at the same time my mom
yelled my name.
“Coming!” I yelled, shooting daggers at the door
with my eyes. I shook my head. It didn’t matter. None of that mattered. I ran
down the stairs and through the house, focused on the red door at the end of
the hall.
When I ran past the living room, I heard my mom’s
magazine ruffle. I could picture her raised eyebrows. But I didn't look. She
had ruined my day. I didn’t want her to ruin my night.
“Natalie,” I squealed, throwing open the door.
“Geez, took you long enough,” she said, waving
back to her mom who was waiting in the car. “Let me in—it’s cold out here.
Brr.” She shivered, prancing in place.
Her cheerleading skirt swished back and forth
as she pushed past me. I noticed her heavy eyeliner and bright lipstick; she
must have come straight from a game.
“Sorry. I, uh...long story,” I sighed, closing the
door.
“Then it’s a good thing I’m here early. We have
all night!”
“Maybe not,” I mumbled.
“What?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.
Her ponytail flipped out over her shoulder.
I hesitated a moment too long. Mom peeked in from
around the corner, her magazine bookmarked with one of her fingers. “Natalie,”
she said, lowering her reading glasses to the bridge of her nose. “I’m so glad
you’re here.”
“Me too, Mrs. Stone.” She shifted her sleeping bag
and backpack.
“How was the game?”
“You’d never believe it. We won, but barely,” she
said. “I mean, the other team must have been all seniors. They were giants! We
only scraped by with a last-minute field goal.”
“That sounds nice,” Mom said,
drumming her crimson nails against the doorway. “You
know, since you’re here, maybe you can help Alexis with her packing.”
“Mom! That’s not
why she’s here.”
“Well, it needs to
be done. I’m sure she won’t mind helping. Would you?” She looked over at my
friend with an overly sweet smile.
“Uh, of course not,
Mrs. Stone,” Natalie said hesitantly, her eyes darting between us.
I rolled my eyes. “Let’s go.” I hurried, grabbing
her stuff, turning my back to the doorway where my mom stood.
That was the last thing
we were going to do.
Before we reached
the first step, Mom stopped us. “I’m serious. I don’t want to leave it all for
the movers tomorrow.”
I glared back and
tightened my lips.
“Yes, Mrs. Stone,”
Natalie said, politely breaking the silence. “I’m sure we’ll be able to get
some
done.”
“Thank you,
Natalie. I knew I could count on you.” With that reassurance, Mom pushed up her
glasses and disappeared back into the living room.
“Come on,” I said,
dragging Natalie up the stairs behind me. I shut the door behind us and dropped
her bags on top of the boxes. “Anytime, Mrs. Stone,” I mocked, batting my
eyelashes for effect.