Dress Me in Wildflowers (26 page)

“I don’t want you to hold anything back on my account. You can tell her how awful I was. I won’t mind. It’s common knowledge around here anyway.”

“I’m not going to do that.” She paused and looked at the other woman, wondering when she’d put their past relationship behind her as well. “I wouldn’t do that to you.”

Janie’s eyes filled with tears. “But I don’t deserve—”

Farrin reached across the table and grabbed Janie’s hands. “Listen to me. I know better than anyone how hard it is to leave things behind, to not let them sour the now. But I’m trying and succeeding a little. I want you to do the same. Yes, you were harsh. And I was too self-pitying. But look at us now. We’re not those girls we used to be.”

Janie nodded. Farrin suspected it was because her voice would have cracked had she tried to speak.

With a final squeeze, Farrin released Janie’s hands and went to the coffeepot to get another cup even though she didn’t really want one. By the time she turned around, Janie had pulled her feelings together and was smiling again.

“I’m glad about you and Drew.”

“I don’t know where it’s going, if anywhere. There’s still the fact that his life is here and despite recent weeks, my life is in New York.” She hadn’t even made relationships in the same city last.

“I have faith it’ll work out.”

“We’ll see.” Already, the thought of returning to Manhattan and leaving Drew behind made her heart ache. Getting involved really wasn’t a good idea, but it was too late to stop it now. She’d lowered her defenses and let him waltz inside and see feelings that no one other than Tammie had seen.

Would their relationship somehow work as Janie’s faith indicated? Or had she allowed the hope of finding someone who might grow to love her for who she was — both past and present — to lead her into making a gigantic mistake?

****

Transformation. That was the best adjective to describe the world around Farrin during the days that followed her evening with Drew. The bright canopy of leaves that had greeted her when she’d returned to Oak Valley dimmed as autumn gave way to winter. The town’s residents bundled up in thick coats, gloves and hats to finish raking and burning the last of the straggling leaves to blanket their yards.

The first of her new dress designs were being sewn by several local ladies, both the older members of the Homemakers Club and young mothers who needed the money. Farrin smiled every time she walked by the back room where the women sewed and chattered. She and Janie worked hard to get another first floor room ready for a showroom. They’d chosen the other room facing the street across from the gift shop so a dress could be displayed in the front window. Farrin couldn’t help the surge of satisfaction at the thought of Jewel Carlisle seeing it there instead of in her own shop’s window and knowing her daughter had something to do with it.

Janie still hadn’t told her parents about her illness, and for the most part Farrin didn’t pressure her about it. Janie knew her family dynamics better than she did. Still, the increasing fatigue and deepening darkness around Janie’s eyes worried Farrin. She never talked about her chemo treatments and never complained about having to work. And every time Farrin tried to give her an afternoon off, she refused.

“If I take an afternoon off, it’s like the first step toward accepting defeat,” she finally admitted one afternoon when she looked particularly tired and drained.

But if their mother appeared worn out, the twins were anything but. They continued to work doing odd jobs for Farrin, and they bugged her constantly to tell them stories about New York and all the places she’d been around the world. Dara was fascinated by the activity in the sewing room and could often be found sitting in a corner of that room watching as the stitches flew through silks, satins and what Dara called “filmy fabric.”

And perhaps the biggest transformation — and surprise — was that Drew didn’t fade away. He continued to bring her lunches and even sent flowers, a large lovely bouquet of pink tulips with a card that said, “Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady. Hope these brighten up your office on this winter day.”

If she wasn’t careful, she was going to really fall hard for him. That she couldn’t allow, not when she had to return to New York right after Christmas.

Tammie wandered into her office the afternoon the flowers arrived. “I’m guessing those aren’t from the mayor.” She pointed toward the tulips that had made Farrin smile every time she looked at them.

“They could be. We passed codes with flying colors. And he seems to like me now that the inn has some life in it and is generating a little positive press for the town.”

“If Mayor Randolph sent you those, I’ll perform The Nutcracker Suite on the roof of the inn.”

“That might draw some more visitors, especially if we do some advertising in advance.”

“Ha ha. So, is it getting serious between you and Drew?”

“We’re having fun. It can’t get too serious.”

“Because you’re going to leave.”

“Yes, I have responsibilities in New York. I’ve rescheduled and postponed all I can.”

“You still think you’re going to sell this place, after everything you’ve put into it?”

“I have to.”

“Why? Because it’s ‘a business investment’ or because you still can’t stand the thought of ties to Oak Valley?”

“Why is everyone around me playing shrink all of a sudden?”

“No answering a question with a question. Are you going to leave because of your job, or are you really just running again?”

“I’m not running.”

Tammie continued to stare at her.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because I think deep down you like it here, you love this inn and everything you’ve done with it, that you don’t want to leave it or Drew, but you’re afraid of letting go of that belief that you
have
to leave, that you can’t possibly be happy here. And if you are, it won’t last.”

Farrin opened her mouth with an automatic denial, but she didn’t say anything. There was enough truth in what Tammie said to startle her. Despite facing her past and all her twisted feelings about it, she wasn’t totally free of it. Doubts still picked at her whenever she had the passing thought of staying. Would the good life she was living now last?

“I don’t know what to do, but you and Janie are good at telling me your ideas.”

“You and Janie, you’re close now?”

Farrin looked across the desk at her oldest and dearest friend and remembered the secret fear she’d held in her heart when they’d been young — that Tammie would suddenly decide one day to not be her friend anymore, leaving her utterly alone. “Yeah. And here’s the good thing. It seems I possess the capacity to have more than one friend. Who knew?”

Tammie offered a small smile, and Farrin leaned forward, placing her forearms on the desk.

“You know you’re my best friend and always will be. But you’ve said yourself that we’re all different people now, that bygones should be bygones. I’ve decided you’re right.”

“Is she sick?”

The question surprised Farrin, but it shouldn’t have. She wondered how many other people had noticed the illness despite Janie’s efforts to hide it. And why hadn’t her parents expressed concern? Were they oblivious? Uncaring? Too proud to make the first step toward reconciliation?

Farrin avoided Tammie’s question by not meeting her gaze.

“You’re not at liberty to say,” Tammie said. “You don’t think she’s been friendly just to have someone help her?”

Farrin looked up. “No. She’s not like that anymore.”

Tammie nodded. “That’s good.”

The front door opened and after a few moments, Faye halted in the doorway to Farrin’s office. “You told her yet?”

“No, I wanted to wait for you,” Tammie said.

“Told me what?” Farrin asked.

“You remember telling me to think about expanding to Oak Valley and how you’re always teasing Mom about how she’d make a killing if she opened a restaurant? Well, we’ve decided to take a leap of faith and do both. Here in the inn.”

Farrin smiled so wide her cheek muscles protested. “Let’s go look at the space.”

After a couple of hours of examining, measuring and brainstorming, they decided the fifteen-table restaurant should be called Faye’s despite her protests and that the dessert menu would include Tammie’s signature desserts plus one she would create specifically for the restaurant. She’d also have a small corner of the room as a secondary location for Sweet Everythings.

“Let’s see, a restaurant, a bakery, a gift shop, a wedding dress shop . . . all the inn needs now is some overnight guests,” Tammie said.

“Opening up the rooms is a different venture altogether,” Farrin said.

“You seem to juggle about ten balls at once. What’s another?”

Guests would definitely generate more traffic for the businesses on the first floor of the inn, but it was huge undertaking and didn’t she already have way too much going on? She looked down at her feet, swearing she felt that ivy growing tighter around her ankles.

****

The noise was deafening, but Farrin had never seen so many gloriously happy kids in such a small space. Streamers and balloons hung from the ceiling, the table, the bar that separated the living area from the galley kitchen. The twins, celebrating their tenth birthday, were busy opening presents from their friends. When Dara picked up the box from her, Farrin held her breath.

Dara ripped away the wrapping paper and pulled open the box’s lid. She stared, dumbstruck, at the dress inside. Then she looked up at Farrin with wide eyes. “You made this for me?”

“Yes, it’s just like one of the new wedding gown designs, only in pink.” And with a little row of embroidered wildflowers around the waist.

Dara launched herself at Farrin, nearly tipping her over with the powerful hug. “Oh, thank you, it’s beautiful.”

Over the top of Dara’s head, Farrin made eye contact with Jewel Carlisle and saw the resentment and jealousy staring back at her. She had gotten Dara piano lessons which would “help her grow into a proper and accomplished young lady.”

It didn’t take a detective to identify the slap against her own daughter and what she’d made of her life. Even the fact that Janie was heading up so many ventures at the inn had not redeemed her any in her mother’s cold eyes. In that moment, an overwhelming empathy for what Janie had experienced growing up settled in Farrin’s heart.

When Dara turned away to show her mother the dress, Drew wrapped his hand around Farrin’s. She looked up at him and saw admiration and a sweet and scary tenderness in his eyes.

“That was a wonderful thing to do for her,” he said.

She shrugged. “It’s no big deal.”

“Maybe not workwise, but it shows you care and I think gestures like that are what those kids need.”

“You noticed Cruella de Grandma, too?” she said under her breath.

“She’s a harder woman than I ever realized.”

Something about the way Drew looked in a navy corduroy shirt and khakis and the texture and warmth of his hard holding hers made her want to kiss him right then and there.

“Are you two going to get married?”

Farrin jerked, freeing her hand from Drew’s, and looked down into Dara’s big, questioning eyes. Speech eluded her.

“We haven’t talked about it, but anything’s possible,” Drew finally said, reclaiming her hand.

Farrin looked up at him and saw the tenderness again, dared not give it another name. They’d had nothing but wonderful times together, but marriage? She’d not even thought about that type of commitment. She couldn’t even think about it until she settled the question of whether she could somehow live part of her life here in Oak Valley. If she wanted to.

“I think you should,” Dara continued. “You could wear one of your new dresses and get married in the garden, and I could be the flower girl and wear my new dress.”

“Dara Renee, you are too young to be playing matchmaker,” Janie said as she steered her enthusiastic daughter toward a freshly cut slice of chocolate birthday cake.

Considering she was having a hard time looking Drew in the eye after the marriage comment and Jewel kept giving her looks sharp enough to flay her flesh, Farrin had a great time at the party. For someone who’d always proclaimed she wasn’t good with children, she was beginning to love Dara and Jason as much as a person could love children who weren’t her own. And amazingly, they seemed to return the affection. She reveled in their admiration, more so than that of the fans of her fashion.

Gradually, the party guests departed. While Janie tucked the twins into bed despite Jason’s assertion that he was now too old for his mom to be tucking him in, Drew placed a kiss on Farrin’s forehead. “Sorry I’ve got to leave, but I have a ton to do. Busy court docket tomorrow.”

After Drew left, Farrin stuffed paper plates and cups in the trash, then ran a sink of warm, soapy water to wash the punch bowl.

“Be back in a minute,” Janie said from behind her.

Farrin turned to see Janie taking the large bag of trash toward the door. “I can take that on the way down.”