Drive (6 page)

             
“Is everything okay?”

             
It was Sawyer.

             
“Huh?” Jordan snapped back to the present only to find that she had been frozen in place, holding up the spare bandaging in one hand and the scissors she had used to cut them with in the other, whilst staring directly at him, and not in a way that could be considered even remotely appropriate. “Yeah, everything’s fine,” she stammered as she averted her eyes and rushed to put her things away. Jordan zipped up her bag and bent down to retrieve the shirt and jacket she had dropped on the floor earlier. Returning to an upright position she moved to reach the end of the room where the sink and trash can were located. She had barely taken a step when she felt Sawyer’s hand clasp around her wrist. When she turned back to face him, she found him standing directly in front of her. There was a moment of silence as they stood there, Jordan feeding off of his energy and drinking it in until she thought she might burst. No man had ever made her feel this way. She felt reckless and not in the way that made her unafraid of dying, but in a way that made her want to feel the savage burn of being alive. When Jordan’s eyes met Sawyer’s, she saw the same building need in them, as if their desire for each other was trying to claw its way to freedom from the inside out. Dizzy from the heightened emotions and the lack of sleep, Jordan felt her knees go weak just as Sawyer caught her in his arms. Gone were any signs of his pain as he steadied her against him, his face charging down to meet Jordan’s until the moment his lips found hers.

             
Jordan’s mind began to race again, but she pushed every thought that told her to stop what she was doing out of her mind almost the instant it came in. Even as Sawyer began to lower her down to the bed, she blew caution to the wind and gave in to her body’s overwhelming need to be with him.

              It was pitch black out when Jordan awoke. She let her hand slide out from under the covers to search the mattress beside her. The bed was empty. Startled by the realization that she was alone, she lifted her head from the pillow to look around the room. There was Sawyer, standing in the corner beside the window and staring out into the night as though he was keeping watch. Unnerved by his behavior, Jordan sat up straight and moved her legs over the edge of the bed preparing to stand.

             
“Is someone out there?” she whispered, annoyed by the quiver of fear she heard as she spoke.

             
Sawyer shook his head.

             
“No.” His tone was normal and unlike her, he hadn’t lowered his voice. He was telling the truth. Jordan breathed a sigh of relief as she watched the dark outline of his body move through the room and back toward the bed.

             
“It’s just habit I guess, always being on the lookout for something,” Sawyer explained apologetically as he got back under the covers and pulled her to him.

“Probably a good habit to have, given our little predicament,” Jordan replied dryly. Sawyer laughed.
“Yeah, probably.”

             
Jordan felt his hand take hold of hers as he wrapped his arm around her waist and held her tight.

             
Glancing down at their intertwined fingers, she caught sight of his tattoo again.

             
“So, what’s the deal with your tats? Do they have some kind of deep special meaning to you or what?”

             
Sawyer laughed. “Not exactly.” He stretched out his fingers, making the letters on his knuckles ripple. “I got this one back in high school. It was at a party and I was drunk and some guy dared me.”

             
“How very literal,” Jordan said mocking him. She let her thumb brush over the scars of his youth. Then she reached for his other hand and pointed at the little squiggle. “And this one?”

             
“That one’s a little more creative. It’s a gypsy symbol. It means a police officer lives here.”

             
“Bit risky don’t you think? I mean, for someone who’s so concerned about blowing his cover.”

             
Sawyer wriggled out of her grip and curled his arm around her once more. “Nah, I just blame that one on a drunken high school party, too.”

             
“Is that when you got it?” Jordan asked, nestling into his chest.

             
“No. That one came much later. It was the first time I was ever in really deep on a case. I had been cut off from my real life for so long, I felt like I needed something to keep me focused, connected to who I really was.”

             
“That’s kind of deep and special,” said Jordan. “Next time I would lead with that one.”

             
Sawyer chuckled again and she could feel him nodding his head in the pillow behind her. Jordan leaned into him more, soaking in the comfort of his presence. It wasn’t until she caught a glimpse of the clock that she remembered.             

             
She looked over her shoulder at Sawyer and asked, “How’s your bandage? Do we need to change it again?”

             
“It’s fine,” he murmured into her ear. His breathing tickled her neck but she refused to be distracted.

             
“What about pain? Are you in any pain?”

             
“It aches, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” he said still nuzzling her.

             
For a long while neither of them spoke and Jordan began to think that he had fallen asleep again. She just lay there quietly, staring into the black nothingness that surrounded them. Somewhere far away, an ambulance siren was announcing its presence in an otherwise silent night and Jordan couldn’t help but recount the events of the last twenty-four hours that had led her to this very moment. Had it really only been one day? How had everything happened so fast? Lying there in the false safety of Sawyer’s arms, Jordan became eerily aware of the fact that she regretted nothing. There wasn’t a single thing she would have done differently. And that was the most frightening thing of all. Not the fact that chances were high that she would wind up with a bullet in her chest, or even the part where she was committing several crimes by aiding Sawyer. No, what scared her the most was the way he was able to make her feel. The way that those feelings made everything else pale in comparison. He had changed something in her the moment he had charged into her life and Jordan had yet to discover whether he marked the beginning or the end of things for her. However, there would be no going back now. That she was certain of.

             
“What are you thinking about?” Sawyer whispered.

             
“I thought you were sleeping,” Jordan replied, feeling strangely exposed even though she knew he hadn’t actually been able to hear her innermost thoughts.

             
“No. I’ll probably catch a little shut eye in the morning. Something about the night makes me feel like a sitting duck just waiting to be pounced on,” he said. Jordan could feel him stretch his legs as they rubbed up against hers. He was tense even if he didn’t want her to know it.

             
“Maybe we should take turns keeping watch. I can go sit by the window and let you get some rest. You need it more than I do anyway,” Jordan said. She was about to scoot herself to the edge of the bed when she felt Sawyer’s grip tighten around her waist.

             
“Where do you think you’re going?” he asked, playfully tugging at her side. Jordan leaned all the way back to get a better look at him.

             
“This just seems inefficient, both of us being awake. Somebody should be getting some sleep around here,” she reasoned, but the grin on his face told her she was wasting her breath.

             
“You’re right, we should use this time more wisely,” he said as he propped himself up onto his good arm and looked down at her. “Why don’t you tell me a little bit more about yourself?”

             
“Are you kidding me?”

             
“Not at all. Let’s see, I already know what you do for a living and where you live…not to mention the fact that you have a death wish and a serious issue with needing to save everyone – not that I’m complaining! Really, what else is there? Oh, didn’t you mention something about being pissed at your boss? Why don’t you tell me about that?” Sawyer said as he lifted her hand into the air, gently stroking her wrist and hand before hooking his index finger around hers.

             
“Why would you want to hear about that?” Jordan asked, unable to take her eyes off of their hands. There was something fascinating about the way they fit together, her fingers intertwined with his, making it almost impossible to tell which were his and which were her own.

             
“I don’t know. I have a feeling it will be an entertaining story,” Sawyer replied smirking, a spark of trouble flew from his eyes, egging her on to prove him right.

             
“Well, it probably won’t come as much of a surprise to you that I occasionally break the rules. Needless to say, my boss doesn’t exactly find that particularly endearing about me,” Jordan paused to see if Sawyer was really interested in hearing the whole story. He was.

             
“You rebel, you. What did you do to piss him off last night?”

             
Jordan took a deep breath in, ramping up to give him the rundown of the previous night’s events.

             
“Okay, so, our shift had just started when we got called in on a domestic abuse case. We took off immediately and I’m not trying to brag or anything - but you’ve seen my driving - and we got there pretty quickly. Much quicker than anyone else, which is a problem since, as I’m sure you are well aware, we aren’t able to go in without police back up in those sorts of situations.” Jordan stopped to take a breath.

             
“Let me guess, you didn’t wait for back up,” Sawyer said, clearly amused by Jordan’s tale.

             
“Not exactly, no,” Jordan admitted hanging her head in a shame that neither of them believed she felt. “Once we got inside, the victim’s neighbor flagged us down. He told us that the guy had locked himself and his wife and children into their apartment. That he was threatening to kill them all. The neighbor also said that he hadn’t heard the wife shouting or calling out for help in a while. So, I had this idea…I told my partner to give me a few minutes to get inside and then to kill the power. It was pitch black out that night, overcast, no moon, no stars…I knew that it would catch the guy off guard just long enough to give me the window of opportunity I needed to take him out.”

             
Sawyer’s face had turned completely serious.

             
“And you pulled it off?”

             
“Uh-huh. I got in and the guy was completely erratic, but when the lights went out I was prepared. The lights came back on a few seconds later. The guy was unconscious and we were able to save the woman’s life.” Jordan stopped. The whole story sounded surreal now that she was saying it all out loud.

             
“And you got in trouble for that? You’re a freaking hero! They should have given you a medal or something!” said Sawyer.

             
Jordan shrugged, “Yeah well, they didn’t see it that way. Instead of a medal I got a suspension. Three days…and worst part is, my partner quit on me. Not that any of that matters now though, does it? Not like I’ll be going back to work anytime soon.”

             
Sawyer lowered their hands, wrapping himself around her again.

             
“I know I should be sorry for everything that’s happened since I tried to kidnap you and force you to save my worthless ass, but I can’t be. Whatever this is, wherever it will lead, I’m glad you’re here.” He kissed her shoulder and lowered his head, burying his face in her long black hair.

             
Jordan shuffled her body around under the covers to face him.

             
“I’m glad, too.”

             
Sawyer’s eyes met hers. They stayed locked that way for a long while, both searching the other for what lie beneath, buried deep within the dark entangled abyss that made up each of their souls, and neither of them shying away from what they saw there.

             
“If we survive this…maybe someday you’ll tell me,” Jordan said softly.

             
“What’s that?” Sawyer asked, pulling back slightly and cocking his head to the side curiously.

             
“Who it was you lost,” she replied simply as she reached up and gently stroked his jawline with her free hand.

             
Sawyer smiled sadly.

             
“If we survive this…I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

             
Then he leaned in and kissed her sweetly on the tip of her nose.

             
“You really should try to get some sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a long day,” he said as he glanced at her pillow suggestively. Jordan ignored the gesture and carried on the conversation as though she hadn’t noticed.

             
“Where are we headed next? I mean, do you have any kind of a plan?”

              Sawyer grinned. He had already known she had a stubborn streak, but he had thought she might be a little more open to his suggestions now that he wasn’t holding a gun to her head anymore. Truth was he liked that about her; her need to be defiant whenever the rules didn’t suit her and her refusal to be submissive under any circumstances. Some men would have called her combative and difficult. Sawyer saw her as strong and as having an insightful sense of herself. He envied that about her. His whole life had been about living up to the expectations of others and it had taken him much too long to figure out what his own expectations were. And it was taking even longer to meet them. Sawyer got the feeling that Jordan had been setting her own standards for a long time and he wondered if she would think that he was up to par if she knew the truth. He hadn’t met many women like her. If he really thought about it, he hadn’t met
any
women like her and even though his gut told him that he should give her up now before this mess got any worse and she got trapped in it any deeper, he simply couldn’t let her go just yet.

              “Sawyer?” The sound of Jordan’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“Sorry…I was looking at you and my thoughts got derailed,” he said leering playfully.

Jordan pulled her blanket up to her chin, making sure she was fully covered.