Drive and Determination (19 page)

            Looking around the room, her eyes latched onto the corner of the room and her heart sank. She remembered that she had placed it with the stuff Manuel had taken to box up for her. She would have to wait until she got home to read through it.
           
A tear slowly made its way down Elyssa’s face as she realized that she may have fallen in love with the laid-back, considerate man at the lake, but in reality, his behaviour these past few days was probably nothing like the driven, manipulative corporate president that characterized him elsewhere.
           
She needed some time away from him to reflect on everything more clearly. As she looked over at her luggage, she knew one thing for certain -- she could not fly home with him in his jet. She needed to distance herself from him to allow her to think judiciously -- and the sooner the better!
           
She knew she would be vulnerable just being in his presence, that her feelings for him would overrule any reasonable objection to him. No, she would somehow decline his offer to fly her home and take the time apart from him to sort out who she truly believed him to be.
           
Elyssa stood up and walked into the bathroom. Looking into the mirror, she splashed some water on her face to help wipe away the redness that stained her eyes and blotted her cheeks. Staring at the image looking back at her, she whispered, “I’ve got to talk to Shelley.”
           
She took a few deep breaths to steady herself and walked through the complex to the Walkers’ townhouse. Knocking on the door, she waited, her heart pounding thunderously in her chest.
           
The door opened and Shelley greeted Elyssa with a beaming smile. “I am so glad you came by! I was hoping to see you before you left!” She reached for Elyssa’s hand and gave it a gentle tug. “Come in.”
           
Elyssa stepped in and couldn’t prevent herself from inhaling deeply the aromas filling the house. It was obvious Shelley was cooking.
           
“How was the lake? Did you think it was just beautiful?”
           
Elyssa nodded. “Yes, but unfortunately I was sick for a good part of it. I ate some fruit that I neglected to rinse in bottled water.”
           
Shelley ushered Elyssa into the living room. “That will get you every time. Here, have a seat.”
           
“No, no thank you, Shelley. I’ll only stay for a minute. I had a couple questions I’d like to ask.”
           
“Sure.”
           
John walked in at that moment and Elyssa couldn’t help smiling when she saw him wearing a large white apron. It was obvious that he was the chef this evening and she thought how nice it would be to have a husband who was willing to help out this way. A sudden pang of realization hit her that Will was too corporately ambitious to be this kind of man and husband.
           
“Hello, Elyssa,” John smiled. “Are you staying for dinner?”
           
“Oh, no, I can’t.”
           
“Please do,” encouraged Shelley. “We have plenty.”
           
Elyssa shook her head. “Thank you both, but I have a lot to do before I leave in the morning.”
           
“Are you sure?” John asked.
           
“Yes, but I do have a favor to ask.”
           
“Anything,” Shelley reached out and took her hand. “What is it?”
           
“My plane leaves at nine thirty in the morning and I wondered if I could get a ride to the airport at around seven thirty.” She looked back and forth at each of them. “If it’s not too much trouble.”
           
“Sure, I can take you, but I thought… wasn’t this already taken care of? I mean, isn’t Will…”
           
“Will had a meeting come up in the morning,” Elyssa quickly interjected.
           
“Well, sure. Come on by when you’re ready.”
           
“Thanks, Shelley.”
           
Elyssa briskly rubbed the palms of her hands together while searching for the right words to her next question. Finally, she asked, “Do either of you know the details concerning Chad going to Will for advice about asking Janet to marry him?” A deep breath steadied her shaky voice. “Did Will really tell Chad he didn’t think he should ask her to marry him?”
           
When Shelly and John stole a guarded glance at one another, Elyssa knew the answer immediately. He
had!
           
“He did, didn’t he?
            “Look, Elyssa, that was two years ago. Will only thought he was looking out for Chad’s future with the company.”
           
“As opposed to his happiness in life with Janet by his side as his wife!” Elyssa felt the throbbing in her head grow increasingly prominent and her ire against Will rising. “I can’t believe he did that!”
           
John took a step toward Elyssa. “We can only assume it was because of the possibility of Chad being sent here to Guatemala. He may have wondered whether Janet would have been a hindrance.”
           
Elyssa stood up and tried to smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound so angry. I need to get back to the townhouse and get myself ready to leave tomorrow. I want to thank you both for all you did to help me out here. I really appreciate it.”
           
Shelley stepped toward her and walked with her to the door. “If you can’t eat with us, can I bring you a plate? John makes the best enchiladas!”
           
Elyssa smiled. “That does sound great. Thanks!”
           
“Good. I’ll bring some over in about an hour. Besides, there is a matter I want to talk with you about.”
           
Elyssa then recalled what Maria told her earlier and thought it would be best to tell Shelley about it when they were alone. “That reminds me, Shelley. There’s something
I
would like to talk with
you
about. Don’t let me forget.”
           
After saying goodbye, Elyssa walked slowly back to the townhouse.  Her hands were shaking, her stomach was churning with confusion, and her head was spinning. She knew she had seen and had been with a very different man the past few days, but didn’t know whether Will could have changed so dramatically -- and completely -- in the two years since she first met him. How she wished she had Janet’s journal!
           
One thing of which she was certain, though, was that she enjoyed her simple, country life and knew that a relationship with Will would require her to relocate to Chicago. She couldn’t see herself making such a drastic move without the assurance that he was everything she wanted in a man.
           
A cold shiver passed through her, despite the warmth of the late afternoon. No, until she knew for a certainty who he really was, she would try to push aside all the thoughts and feelings that surfaced this past weekend towards him. She would return to her simple life in the Santa Ynez Valley and go on as if nothing ever happened between them.

Chapter 18

            By the time Shelley arrived with the plate of food, Elyssa’s stomach was growling from hunger, although she really wasn’t sure if she felt like eating.
            Shelley brought the foil-covered plate inside and took it into the kitchen, placing it on the counter. Her eyes were downcast for a moment before she finally looked up at Elyssa.
            “I mentioned earlier that there was something I needed to tell you.”
            “Yes?”
            Shelley looked down at her hands wringing together nervously. When she finally looked up, her face was drawn with concern. “We were notified today of some pictures, Elyssa, that have appeared on an Internet site.”
            “Unfortunately, I know.”
            “You do?”
            Elyssa looked down and nodded. “I saw them.”
            Elyssa turned and walked over to the small table in the corner of the room. She began picking things up and rearranging them as if it was therapeutic for her. “I know it is best not to try and defend yourself when these things appear.” Elyssa let out a sarcastic chuckle. “Not that I am used to this type of thing.” She turned back and faced Shelley. “I know it doesn’t really matter, but the pictures and comments suggest a very evocative weekend rendezvous, when actually, nothing happened.
            Shelley stepped forward and grasped Elyssa’s hands. “You don’t need to explain anything to me, Elyssa. That’s not why I came over to tell you.”
            “But I feel as though I do need to explain! That’s why this is so frustrating! I want to tell everyone who sees those pictures and reads those captions that nothing happened between us!” Elyssa fought back the tears that welled up in her eyes.
            Shelley released Elyssa’s hands. “I told you how Will doesn’t tolerate gossip and I am sure he will be infuriated by the insinuations. He takes no pleasure in this invasion of privacy and I know he won’t be happy that people are getting the wrong impression about the two of you.”
            Elyssa’s eyes shot up and she bit her lip.  Shaking her head slowly, she said, “No, he wouldn’t want that, would he?”
            “I know it sounds trite, Elyssa, but everyone will have forgotten about these pictures in a very short time. Something more titillating will come along and these will be history.”
            Elyssa brought her hand up to her forehead and pressed her fingers deeply where it pulsated with pain. “Perhaps.”
            “I just want to let you know that Pemberleo is very sorry that this happened.”
            Elyssa forced a smile. “Thanks. I don’t blame Pemberleo. It’s not really their fault.”
            Shelley took Elyssa’s hand. “Come sit down, Elyssa, and tell me what it was you wanted to talk with me about.”
            A wave of guilt swept over Elyssa as she realized that her problems had once again wiped Maria’s situation from her mind. They sat down and Elyssa proceeded to tell Shelley what Maria had told her.
            Shelley shook her head. “These young girls tend to latch on to any guy who pays attention to them. I didn’t know she had been seeing anyone. She was much closer to Janet. I’ll get together with her in a day or two to see how she’s doing and make sure she’s no longer holding on to any of those feelings of guilt. I can’t believe she’s blamed herself for so long.”
            “Thanks, Shelley.”
            “Sure. Let me know if you need anything else tonight. Otherwise, I’ll see you in the morning.”
            When Shelley left, Elyssa sat down to her plate of food. The enchiladas were delicious, but she could hardly bring herself to eat even half of what they had given her. She felt overwhelmed by a tumultuous gnawing and couldn’t reconcile anything that had transpired these past few days.
            Her eyes drifted over to the corner table. She shook her head as she contemplated how easily she could rearrange the objects on a table or on the wall to make them more pleasing, yet at the moment she had no idea how to arrange the events of this past week into any semblance of order. Without giving it a second thought, she could rearrange a display so that it evoked a sense of peace rather than chaos, yet she couldn’t arrange her thoughts and feelings so that they gave her even an iota of peace and harmony. She knew how to create a focal point in design, but knowing where and how to focus her thoughts on the man William Denton eluded her.

*~*~*

            Elyssa awoke early the next morning with about as much anguish and inner turmoil as she had when she first arrived in Guatemala. But it was no longer because of losing her closest sister and friend. It was because she had allowed herself to fall for William Denton, a man she had once determined to loathe.
            She was all packed and sat in the living room waiting for the clock to strike seven. She knew that Will would be in his meeting and decided she would call at that time and leave a message for him, telling him that she had decided to fly out using her own ticket. He wouldn’t discover her change of plans until he got out of his meeting. By that time she would safely be in the boarding area at the airport where he would not be allowed to go.
            Elyssa closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. She knew she was taking the easy way out, but she didn’t even know what she would say if she had to make explanations to him. She was angry with him that he felt it was his duty to do things like interfering with Chad’s decision to marry Janet, yet she couldn’t dismiss what he had been like at the lake. How could she clearly explain to him her reasons for refusing his offer to fly her home in his jet when everything seemed so muddled?
            Elyssa leaned her head back in the chair, but the last thing she wanted to do was sit. With each tick of the clock, her mind played the events of last night over and over. When Will left, he kissed her cheek. Without thinking, she reached up with her fingers and touched the area his lips had left their lasting imprint.
            She thought about Maria, who had practically collapsed in Elyssa’s arms as she blamed herself for Janet’s death. Elyssa didn’t understand all the details, but she hoped Shelley would see to it that she no longer carried around this false sense of guilt.
            Elyssa dropped her head into her hands.
False sense of guilt!
 Ever since Janet and Chad’s deaths, she had clung tenaciously to a false sense of
blame
directed at Will. She knew now how foolish she had been. Their deaths were no more his fault than they were Maria’s fault.
            She admitted to herself that she had been wrong. But she couldn’t dismiss George’s startling accusation that Will tried to talk Chad out of marrying Janet. She closed her eyes as she considered what all she did
not
know about Will. Were there other things he had done as president of Pemberleo that made people sacrifice what was truly important to them?
            She had spent the past two years harboring feelings of loathing and disdain for the man and his driven, controlling ways. Those feelings all seemingly vanished after spending less than a week with him in an exotic locale and seeing a kind and caring side of him. Which man was he? Was he the man she had just been with or the man she had known him to be all along. There was an unanswerable question that loomed ominously over her. Was this past weekend with him a side of his true character or merely an uncharacteristic display that was rarely exhibited?
            To make matters even more convoluted, there were those incriminating pictures from the Internet. She knew Will was a man whose face might be recognizable to those who ravenously devour every word and scrutinize every picture of those deemed noteworthy. She would have never dreamed that their taking shelter in a hotel for the night -- in separate rooms -- would be shown for all the world to see. She only hoped the pictures would never appear in a magazine.
            Her thoughts went back to Will telling her there were some things he wanted to talk with her about on the jet. She closed her eyes as she recalled how his eyes had searched her face, as if hoping for some sort of encouragement. A small smile had appeared just before he leaned over and kissed her cheek.
            Elyssa shook her head determinedly as thoughts of her father intruded in her mind. From that first meeting with Will, she had considered him to be very much like her father’s boss, who stole precious time away from her father that could have been spent with her and her family. She could not allow herself to fall for someone like him!
            Elyssa let out a huff of exasperation, as she considered Will to be more of an enigma than ever.
            Elyssa’s breath faltered as tears filled her eyes. She knew something had happened between them; something unlike anything she had ever felt before. Her chest tightened as she realized those few days with Will would most likely have to be relegated to a cherished memory to warm her winter years. Some day she would be able to look back and laugh at her folly and be thankful she did not succumb to him. In years to come she would see that he was very much the dictatorial man she once thought him to be.
            At about twenty minutes past seven, Elyssa summoned the courage and made the call she was dreading. A secretary dutifully took the message, asking Elyssa for more details than she was willing to give.
            “Please express my thanks to Mr. Denton for his generous offer to fly me home on his jet,” she told her. “But I must decline. I will be flying home on my scheduled flight. Shelley Walker is driving me to the airport in a few minutes.”
            “Is there anything wrong?” the woman asked.
            “No, there’s nothing wrong. Please, just tell Mr. Denton I am grateful for all he did for me while I was here.”
            Elyssa then gave instructions to have the items that Manuel had picked up the day before shipped to her home C.O.D.
            When Elyssa replaced the phone on its base, she fought back the tears that were threatening. Looking around her, she knew she had to say goodbye. But it was more than just a goodbye to her sister.

*~*~*

            The drive to the airport produced much anxiety for Elyssa, as they seemed to hit every red light, and at some points the drive proceeded at a crawl. Looking several times at her watch, Shelley reassured her that they would get to the airport in time and she wouldn’t miss her flight.
            A weak smile was directed at Shelley, as Elyssa’s only concern was when Will might be told about her decision and what he would do about it.
            They finally arrived at the airport and Shelley pulled up to the front. Once she had pulled her baggage from the car, Elyssa leaned in to Shelley and gave her a hug, thanking her for everything she had done to make her visit more pleasant. They exchanged farewells and then Elyssa turned to look at the crowd of people making their way into the Guatemala City airport. Her thoughts assessed the possibly that by now Will probably knew that she had decided to fly home on her own.
            As she walked into the crowded check-in area, a wave of uneasiness passed through her stomach; this time it was not due to something she ate. She glanced about her for her airline’s ticket counter and then was dismayed to see that it had the most people in line.
            She turned to look again toward the doors where people were coming in and leaving the airport. This area was not confined to passengers only and she knew Will could easily find her here -- if he even chose to come.
            Taking only a few tiny steps in the line as it slowly moved forward, she wished the checking in process would progress more rapidly. Her only consolation was that once she was past the security gate, Will would not be able to reach her.
            She looked around at the other airline check-in counters and wished she hadn’t booked on one of the larger airlines. If she was flying out on a smaller airline, she would have been checked in and walking toward her gate by now -- out of Will’s reach.
            For her own peace of mind, she decided to keep her eyes toward the counter.
He has no reason to come,
 she told herself.
He’s probably grateful I’m out of his hair.
            When she finally reached the counter, the agent did not seem to sympathize at all with Elyssa’s desire to rush. Her flight was now a little less than an hour away and everything he did seemed to progress in slow motion.
            When she finally had her boarding pass in hand, she rushed to the security gate, keeping her eyes directed straight ahead of her.
Just a few more steps,
she reassured herself.
            She put her purse and small carry-on bag upon the moving ramp that would take them through the x-ray and awaited her turn to walk through the security check. Her heart pounded as the gentleman ahead of her set off the alarm. He searched his pockets, pulling out some loose change and walked through again. It was finally Elyssa’s turn and without even a backwards glance, she stepped through, quickly picking up her things. She had finally made it!
            She looked at the myriad of signs ahead of her for her gate number. Turning in the direction the arrow indicated, she quickly set off and didn’t stop walking until she was there.
            Elyssa took a seat away from other waiting passengers gathered for the flight. She wished to be left alone; preferring to lose herself in a book. As she attempted to concentrate on the words written on the page, voices filled her ears as people walked past her, conversing with one another or on their cell phones. It was like a dull hum as the foreign words meant little to her. Occasionally, she would hear a word she recognized in Spanish or someone walked past speaking English, but very little registered -- much like the written words her eyes scanned on the pages of the book in front of her. 
            She felt her eyes sting from the tears that were trying to push their way to the surface.
           
Why did I have to fall for such a man?
 The thought came with no warning; her cheeks flushed and her heart picked up its pace.
            Her trembling hands formed into fists as George’s words suddenly came to her.
I knew you were too smart to fall for a man like him. He’s a manipulator and thrives on control. Look at how he tried to keep Chad from marrying your sister.
           
How dare he interfere like that!
 she thought.
Chad and Janet loved each other very much!
           
A yawn brought Elyssa’s hand up to cover her mouth and for the first time this morning, her body reminded her just how tired she was. Last night afforded her very little sleep as her mind and heart fought for any sort of answer.
I am right in doing this,
 she reassured herself.
I am right!
           
Elyssa directed her eyes back to her book and tried to begin to read again. She had to reread each paragraph several times before she was able to tend to the words. Her mind insisted on diverting her thoughts to Will.
           
With each recollection of his uncharacteristic acts of kindness, his smile, his arms around her, the kiss he gently placed on her cheek, she forced herself to remember his acts of manipulation. She could not help but question his total focus on business and how his actions took Janet away. She recalled the wedding reception two years ago when she overheard his words about her. She thought back to his eulogy for Chad and how cold and unfeeling he was.
           
Elyssa took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. She felt them grow watery and she lifted a hand to gently wipe them away.
No,
 she told herself.
He is not the kind of man with whom I would want to be involved.
           
When she opened her eyes, she noticed someone standing in front of her.
           
She did not need to look up to see who it was. She could tell by the expertly tailored designer suit. Her heart pounded mercilessly as she forced herself to look up.
           
“What are
you
doing here?” she asked meekly.
           
She could see him strive for control as his jaw tightened. “Shouldn’t I be asking
you
that question?”
           
“Didn’t you get my message? Oh, I guess you must have received my message for you to be here. I decided it would be best to use my own ticket and I really didn’t want to inconvenience you or for you to go out of your way.” Elyssa knew she was rambling and found it difficult to look him in the eye.
           
Will looked at her incredulously and seemed to measure each word he spoke. “Don’t you think
I
should be the one to determine whether or not flying you home on my jet was an inconvenience?”
           
Elyssa could see fire in his eyes, but it was coupled with something else that she couldn’t quite pinpoint. Whatever that was, it made her feel vulnerable. To arm herself against such feelings, she quickly stood to her feet, crossing her arms tightly in front of her.
           
“Your offer to fly me home was generous and I thank you. But I cannot accept it.”
           
“May I ask why?”
           
Elyssa drew in a deep breath while she formulated her answer. “Will, you must have known what my opinion of you was when you first arrived here. I certainly did not keep it hidden from you. In fact, my opinion of you had been formed when we first met at Janet and Chad’s wedding rehearsal two years ago.”
           
The expression on Will’s face did not change. “Go on.”
           
Elyssa glanced down, unable to meet his piercing eyes. “I saw evidence of a man consumed by his work, manipulative, and uncaring for the feelings of others.”
           
“Did you really?” Will’s voice shook with the anger and hurt coursing through him.
           
Elyssa nodded and looked up slowly. “I will admit that over the course of the week, my opinion of you did improve, and I confess I no longer hold you to blame for Chad and Janet’s deaths.”
           
“How very generous of you!” Will huffed out.
           
Elyssa’s heart pounded wildly in her chest as she considered her next words. “I am grateful for all you did this past week.”
           
“Grateful?” he asked in disbelief.
           
“Yes,” she answered determinedly. “I am grateful, but I think it would be best if we went our separate ways.”
           
“Am I entitled to any explanation for this decision?” he demanded.
            Elyssa looked down and then back at him. “Some things have come to light that have me wondering, Will, if my opinion of you was correct in the first place!”
           
“You mean your opinion that I am consumed by work, uncaring, and manipulative?”
           
Elyssa nodded slowly. “I’ve seen too many men who think of nothing but their careers. My father’s boss was one and his unreasonable demands literally killed my father!”
           
“May I ask what these things are that have come to light?”
           
“For one, I understand that you advised Chad not to ask Janet to marry him. You told him you didn’t think he should!”
           
As she pronounced these words, Will changed color, but any sort of prevailing emotion soon dissipated, and he listened without attempting to interrupt her while she continued.
           
“I have every reason in the world to think you overstepped your bounds, William Denton, even as Chad’s employer. Chad and Janet loved one another and were perfectly suited to each other. Do you deny that you told him you didn’t think he should propose?”
           
“I have no reason to deny it. I had my reasons.”
           
“Your reasons! You care little for anything or anyone but your company. You manipulate people as if they were your puppets, with little thought or consideration for them. I can’t help but wonder how many others in your employ have sacrificed happiness because of your interference!”
           
“You must believe there to be a multitude!”
           
“I know there is George Westham!”
            An angry shudder coursed through him.
“And what do you know of George Westham’s concerns?” He practically spewed out the man’s name.
           
“It’s obvious you have something against the man. He told me how your father had promised him advancement within the company, seeing his potential. You chose, upon taking the company over, to send him off as a salesman to Guatemala. You broke your own father’s promise to him!”
           
His eyes darkened even more. “Poor George, indeed!” He turned away and Elyssa could see that he was trying to maintain some semblance of control. A slight slumping of his shoulders and nod of his head inexplicably made Elyssa feel her defenses beginning to wear down. For a brief moment she had an impulsive desire to reach out to him. She quickly shook that away.
           
When he turned back to look at her, his rigid posture had returned and his head was held high. “And what, may I ask, do you think I think about
you
?”
           
Her heart lurched at his question and his eyes seemed to bore deeply within her. Moistening her lips, she finally uttered, “Two years ago, I believe your words describing me were something to the effect of
being naïve, opinionated, that everything revolves around me, and I have no idea how to run a business.
 More recently, however, I overheard you refer to me as a
project
!
 Something to wheel and deal for whatever purposes you had in mind!” She looked down as her eyes began to well up with tears.
           
He stood still; his eyes fixed on her face. He seemed to catch her words with no less resentment than surprise. She noticed him wince when she mentioned his words from two years ago. His complexion became pale with anger and the disturbance of his mind was visible in every feature. He was struggling for the appearance of composure and would not open his lips, till he believed himself to have attained it.
           
Finally, he said, “So this is what you think of me! I thank you for explaining it to me so fully! I wonder how you endured my presence these last few days.” He shifted his weight from one foot to another. “I see my coming here was a mistake.”
           
Suddenly Elyssa’s eyes narrowed. “Exactly how
did
you get past the security gate? No one can come back here without a ticket.”
           
“I purchased one.”
           
Elyssa met his gaze, suddenly alarmed. “You are on my flight?”
           
He let out a huff and shook his head. “No, rest assured, Elyssa, I am not on your flight. It was full. I purchased a seat on another.” He tossed the ticket down. “Obviously I won’t be using it and never intended to. I only came back here to…” He took in a shaky breath. “Well, never mind.”
           
Elyssa fought back her tears as one last time she looked up at him. “I am sorry, Will, but we are two very different people who live in two worlds that are poles apart. I just need to go home and sort this all out.”
           
Will’s jaw tightened again as he looked down at Elyssa. “I’m sorry, too, Elyssa, but what is there for you to sort out? Your words certainly indicate that you have me all figured out. Goodbye. I hope you have a good flight home.” With that, he turned and walked away.
           
Elyssa stood very still for some time, watching him take brisk strides through the crowd of people. She was all too familiar now with his confident gait. She told herself she ought to feel relief that he was now out of her life. Unfortunately, she felt anything but. The tears that had threatened earlier were now more demanding and soon spilled out. She collapsed into the chair in which she had been sitting, unable to move for quite some time.
           
She stared down at the ticket he had tossed at her. She wondered how much it had cost him to come find her. Why would he have done such a thing? Why had he even bothered to come down to Guatemala in the first place?
           
She could not, would not, answer that question, for if she did, she would have realized that for some explicable reason, William Denton had fallen in love with her.