Drowning in the East River (2 page)

"I need a drink," David said, moving towards the liquor cabinet. "Fuck!" He whispered, staring down at the blood seeping from underneath the torn fingernail he had been picking at all day. He sucked at the blood from under his thumb before reaching over his head for a glass.

In the corner of the room, Thomas was propped in his crib. The toddler coo'ed quietly over a set of alphabet blocks Jessica had bought a few months earlier. She had called the toy an early birthday present. The blocks were a success, the two year old appeared oblivious to the building tension in the room.

David reached back into the cabinet and grabbed the last bottle of brandy, which had been pushed towards the back of the shelf. "It wasn't this bad with Thomas," he said, filling his glass with the rest of the caramel colored liquid. He glanced out their dusty living room window, which overlooked the intersection of 42nd and Second Avenue. David closed his eyes, throwing the contents of the glass down his throat. It only took a moment for the familiar warmth spread through his body.

He thought back to the night two years ago. Jessica had a very difficult delivery with Thomas. He took a centering breath as he was finally allowed back into the bedroom. Pushing the door open, the only light came from a candle in the corner of the room where Anna and Katherine Conlon were working over the crying baby.

Jessica could barely open her eyes as David sat on the edge of the bed.

"Baby," David said. He ran a hand through her hair, which was drenched with sweat. Feeling her under his fingers, convinced him that she was all right after then tension of the last four hours. He traced his fingers gently down her soft cheek. Her pale skin felt clammy to his touch. "How are you?”

He looked over her, letting his hand slide down her arm. A shy smile spread over his lips as he squeezed her hand.

"He looks like you," she said, sliding her other hand onto of his. Her eye shot towards the corner of the room, where her sisters were still cleaning the squirming baby in a small wash basin. A small, exhausted smile crossed Jessica's face. Her voice was barely above a whisper as she continued. "He has your nose.”

"You did amazing, baby" David replied, kissing her gently on the lips. Her chocolate brown hair streaked down around her face from exertion. He wiped a couple of the errant strands away from her face. He leaned close, whispering into her ear. "I'm so proud of you.”

She looked up at him. In the gentle candlelight, her dark eyes glittered with specs of gold. Jessica mustered another tired smile. "I love you, David.”

"I love you too, Jessica." He slid back against the headboard and wrapped his arm around her narrow torso. Her head lulled against his shoulder, and her body drifted off to sleep. He closed his eyes, trying to un-see the blood coating the sheets around her.

"They know what they're doing," William replied, resting a tentative hand on David's shoulder, pulling him back into reality. William spoke quickly, his voice unconsciously trying to cover the screams coming from the other room. He cracked an unconscious smile. "Anna has helped with dozens of deliveries. Besides, she got Jess through having Thomas.”

Looking into his brother-in-law's lined eyes, David could see the nerves which were starting to make an appearance. They had been listening to Jessica's screams through the thin walls of the room for the last four hours. Nothing seemed to be improving.

"It'll be fine," William added, trying to reassure himself. He pulled a packet of cigarettes out of his pocket. His fingers trembled as he struck the match. Lighting the cigarette, he glanced towards the door before meeting David's eyes. "Besides, Jessica is strong. She'll get through this.”

The empty brandy glass slipped from David's fingers, shattering on the dingy, gray kitchen tile. "Fuck!" David muttered, crouching to gather up the shards of glass. Looking up, he glanced in the direction of the crib where the baby had stood up and was starting to scream. "Would you-" David asked, looking towards William.

William stood up from the dining room table and stabbed his cigarette out in the ashtray. As William moved into the living room, Thomas greeted his uncle with open arms, pleading to be freed from the crib.

David yelped and pulled his hand back sharply. Glancing down, a shard of glass had sliced through the thin skin just above his wedding band. He pushed himself to his feet, pulling his handkerchief from his pocket with his other hand.

The chaos in the bedroom suddenly quieted, plunging everything into an uncomfortable silence. His wife had stopped screaming. David looked towards the door; his stomach churned. His eyes shot towards the washbasin, which was sitting in the corner of the room.

Wrapping his handkerchief around his finger, he glanced over at William, who was cradling Thomas in his arms. "I'll take him," David said, walking towards them as he tried to put pressure on the cut, which was turning his white handkerchief a deep shade of crimson.

William turned around and handed off the squirming toddler to his father. "Are you sure?"

David took his son in his arms, holding Thomas' small frame securely to his chest. Closing his eyes, David buried his head in his son's blonde curls, inhaling deeply. The baby's hair was freshly washed, the smell of Jessica's favorite lavender soap flooded his nostrils.

Thomas buried his face in David's shirt, the pained sniffling quieted as the crying fit slowly passed.

"Doctor," David heard William say as the door creaked open behind them. He opened his eyes and turned instinctively towards the noise. He lowered Thomas from his face, letting the baby settle quietly against his shoulder.

Dr. Joseph Stern had stepped out of the bedroom. The elderly man looked around the living room for a moment. His lined, gray eyes had a dazed air to them; he seemed to be collecting the strength to speak. His shoulders were hunched in exhaustion. He could barely raise his head enough to glance around the room.

David felt dread bubbling in the pit of his stomach. He could hear his heart beating in his ears in the silence of the room.

David felt his knees buckle slightly as his eyes were drawn to the blood coating Doctor Stern's hands, which the elderly man was trying to subtly wipe with a washrag.

David swallowed hard, his throat suddenly parched as he tried to speak."Doctor?" He asked, trying to blink back the colored spots which were starting to overwhelm his vision. He licked his lips as he continued, "What happened?”

"I'm sorry Mr. Freeman.”

Seeing David's unsteadiness, William lifted the baby out of his hands, cradling his nephew tightly against his chest.

With his hands free, David braced his weight on the edge of the counter as the spots continued to cloud his vision. He closed his eyes, sucking in deep breaths, trying to calm the nausea pulsating through his system.

"Doctor? My wife?" David snapped, already knowing the answer he was waiting for. He opened his eyes and looked over at the Doctor.

"Mrs. Freeman didn't make it," the Doctor said, his voice dropping a sympathetic octave. He pushed his hands into the pockets of his black pants, suddenly aware of the stark coloring of the blood. "Jessica hemorrhaged during the delivery; the blood loss was just too much for her.”

David threw his hand over his mouth, and ran to the wash-basin as his body was racked with heaves. As the sickening sensation passed, his stomach feeling empty, David braced his head against the wall, sucking in shaky breaths as a sudden calm flooded his muscles.

"And the baby?" William asked, stepping forward as David struggled to collect himself in the corner of the room.

Thomas was propped against his Uncle's shoulder, his dark eyes shooting around the room anxiously.

William braced a supportive hand on David's shoulder; his own hand was trembling.

The Doctor shook his head in the negative."The baby was a girl." His voice was exhausted, devoid of tone or emotion after the exhausting, four hour delivery. He remained near the door, the blood on his hands keeping him from reaching out to David. "I'm sorry David. There was just no way to save either of them.”

David wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, and slowly stood up. He blinked against the tears he could feel building in his eyes. Feeling as if he had just been punched in the gut, he inhaled sharply as he watched Stern continue to wipe Jessica's blood from his hands. "Can I see her?" David spoke slowly, his voice sounding hoarse to his own ears. In the last six hours, he had probably smoked a half of a pack of cigarettes, the evidence was starting to build up in the small ceramic ashtray on the kitchen table. His hands searched his pockets for another cigarette.

Stern looked him up and down, studying him with a reluctant, medically trained eye. "Are you sure? Take a minute and sit down." He reaching out with a steadying hand, placing it on his elbow.

William put Thomas back down in his crib, and turned to face David. He reached out, grabbing David by the arm. "Please sit down, David. You look about ready to faint.”

David raised his hand, stepping away from the two men on unsteady feet. The spots were slowly starting to fade. He blinked back the sensation further. "I want to see my wife." He paused, his voice was sharper than he had anticipated. He paused for a moment, trying to put a check on his tone. He licked his parched lips and looked up at the Doctor. He continued, his voice softer. “Please."

The Doctor continued quietly. He had gone through this too many times in the past,”Your wife's sisters are paying their respects. You may go in after. I'm sure you want to be alone with her." The Doctor took a moment, and disappeared into the corner of the room, slowly scrubbing his hands in the washbasin.

After a few minutes, the door opened once again. Katherine and Anna Conlon shuffled out of the bedroom, their arms wrapped around each other for support. The spinsters had lived together their whole lives, only recently moving out of their family home into a tenement on Second Avenue, while continuing to work at the family dry goods store. Jessica was the youngest, and had been the first to split off from the family. David had always assumed that was why her family had never particularly warmed to him. He had stolen their little girl.

Both women were sobbing inconsolably as they moved through the living room. Anna spun abruptly as she passed David. She quickly wiped her nose, her emotion immediately exploding into a passionate anger. "You! You did this to her!”

Though she barely reached five foot, Anna was a feisty and intimidating figure as she threw herself right up against David's five foot ten inch frame. Her voice wavered with repressed emotion as she jabbed her finger in his face, emphasizing her point further. The Irish accent she worked so hard to repress came back in full force, as it always did when she became really angry. "It's your fucking fault! You killed her. The doctor said she shouldn't...that she couldn't have any more children. You did it anyway! How could you do that to your own wife?”

"Typical English ass," Katherine said, chiming in. She wrapped her arm around Anna's shoulder as her sister dissolved into tears.

William rushed up, trying to insert himself between his sisters and David, but Katherine continued her sister's argument with ferocity. "Using up everything in your path! Jessica was in no condition to have another baby! Yet you went and did it to her anyway.”

"Let's get you home," William said, guiding the two women to the door. He held open the door as he attempted to steer the women into the hallway. "You both need sleep.”

"You couldn't turn it off!" Anna cried, her voice a hysterical screech. "You're an animal!”

William turned back to David. His eyes reflected the exhaustion permeating the room. "I'm sorry. She didn't mean it.”