Authors: Diana Gabaldon
“And a week, at least, from River Run to the Ridge.” I let myself breathe again, not sure whether I felt disappointment or relief. “We’d never make it.”
“But the weather is turning,” Jamie said. He nodded toward a big blue spruce, its needles wet and dripping. “When we came, that tree was cased in ice.” He looked at me. “The traveling may be easier; we may make better time—or not.”
“Or not.” I shook my head reluctantly. “You know as well as I do that spring means mud. And mud is worse to travel in than snow.” I felt my heart begin to slow down, accepting it. “No, it’s too late, too risky. She’ll have to stay.”
Jamie was gazing at Roger, over the fire.
“He doesn’t,” he said.
Roger looked at him, startled.
“I—” he began, then firmed his jaw and started over. “I do. You don’t think I’d leave her? And my child?”
I opened my mouth, and felt Jamie stiffen beside me in warning.
“No,” I said sharply. “No. We have to tell him. Brianna will. Better he should know now. If it makes a difference to him, then it’s better he knows before he sees her.”
Jamie’s lips pressed tight together, but he nodded.
“Aye,” he said. “Tell him, then.”
“Tell me what?” Roger’s dark hair was loose, rising around his head in the evening wind. He looked more alive than he had since we had found him, alarmed and excited at once. I bit the bullet.
“It may not be your child,” I said.
His expression didn’t change for a moment; then the words fell into place. He grabbed me by the arms, so suddenly that I yelped with alarm.
“What do you mean? What’s happened?”
Jamie moved like a striking snake. He caught Roger a short, sharp blow under the chin that loosened his grip and sent him sprawling backward on the ground.
“She means that when ye left my daughter to her own devices, she was raped,” he said roughly. “Two days past the time ye lay with her. So maybe the wean’s yours, and maybe it’s not.”
He glared down at Roger.
“So. D’ye mean to stand by her, or no?”
Roger shook his head, trying to clear it, and got slowly back to his feet.
“Raped. Who? Where?”
“In Wilmington. A man named Stephen Bonnet. He—”
“Bonnet?”
It was only too clear from Roger’s expression that the name was familiar. He stared wildly from me to Jamie and back. “Brianna was raped by Stephen Bonnet?”
“So I said.” Suddenly all the rage Jamie had been holding since our exit from the village broke loose. He seized Roger by the throat and slammed him into a tree trunk.
“And where were you when it was done, ye coward? She was angry with ye, and so ye ran away and left her! If ye thought ye must go, why did ye not see her safe into my keeping first?”
I grabbed Jamie’s arm and yanked.
“Let go of him!”
He did, and whirled away, breathing hard. Roger, shaken and almost as furious as Jamie, shook down his ruffled clothing.
“I didn’t leave because we argued! I left to find this!” He snatched a handful of his loose breeches, and ripped at the cloth. A spark of green brightness glowed in the palm of his hand.
“I risked my life to get that, to see her safe back through the stones! Do you know where I went to get it, who I got it from? Stephen Bonnet! That’s why it took me so long to come to Fraser’s Ridge; he wasn’t where I expected him to be; I had to ride up and down the coast to find him.”
Jamie was frozen, staring at the gemstone. So was I.
“I shipped with Stephen Bonnet, from Scotland.” Roger was growing a little calmer. “He is a—a—”
“I ken what he is.” Jamie stirred, breaking his trance. “But what he also may be, is the father of my daughter’s child.” He gave Roger a long, cold look. “So I’m askin’ ye, MacKenzie; can ye go back to her, and live with her, knowing that it’s likely Bonnet’s child she bears? For if ye canna do it—then say so now, for I swear, if ye come to her and treat her badly…I will kill ye without a second thought.”
“For God’s sake!” I burst out. “Give him a moment to think, Jamie! Can’t you see that he hasn’t had a chance even to take it in, yet?”
Roger’s fist closed tight over the jewel, then opened. I could hear him breathing, harsh and ragged.
“I don’t know,” he said. “I don’t know!”
Jamie stooped and picked up the stone, where Roger had dropped it. He flung it hard between Roger’s feet.
“Then go!” he said. “Take yon cursed stone and find your wicked circle. Get ye gone—for my daughter doesna need a coward!”
He had not yet unsaddled the horses; he seized his saddlebags and heaved them across the horse’s back. He untied both his horse and mine, and mounted in one fluid motion.
“Come,” he said to me. I looked helplessly at Roger. He was staring up at Jamie, green eyes glinting with firelight, bright as the emerald in his hand.
“Go,” he said softly to me, not taking his eyes off Jamie. “If I can—then I’ll come.”
My hands and feet seemed not to belong to me; they moved smoothly, without my direction. I walked to my horse, put my foot in the stirrup, and was up.
When I looked back, even the light of the fire had disappeared. There was nothing behind us but the dark.
62
THREE-THIRDS OF A GHOST
River Run, April 1770
T
hey have captured Stephen Bonnet.”
Brianna dropped the game box on the floor. Ivory counters exploded in every direction, and rolled off under the furniture. Speechless, she stood staring at Lord John, who set down his glass of brandy and came hastily to her side.
“Are you all right? Do you require to sit down? I apologize most profoundly. I should not have—”
“Yes, you should. No, not the sofa, I’ll never get out of it.” She waved away his offered hand, and made her way slowly toward a plain wooden chair near the windows. Once solidly on it, she gave him a long, level look.
“Where?” she said. “How?”
He didn’t trouble asking whether he ought to send for wine or burnt feathers; she plainly wasn’t going to swoon.
He drew up a stool beside her, but then thought better, and went to the parlor door. He glanced out into the dark hallway; sure enough, one of the maids was dozing on a stool in the curve of the staircase, available in case they should want anything. The woman’s head snapped up at his step, eyes showing white in the dimness.
“Go to bed,” he said. “We shall not require anything further this evening.”
The slave nodded and shuffled off, relief in the droop of her shoulders; she would have been awake since dawn, and it was near midnight now. He was desperately tired himself, after the long ride from Edenton, but it wasn’t news that could wait. He had arrived in the early evening, but this had been his first opportunity to make an excuse to see Brianna alone.
He closed the double doors and placed a footstool in front of them, to prevent any interruptions.
“He was taken here, in Cross Creek,” he said without preamble, sitting down beside her. “As to how, I could not say. The charge brought was smuggling. Once they discovered his identity, of course, there were others added.”
“Smuggling what?”
“Tea and brandy. At least this time.” He rubbed the back of his neck, trying to relieve the stiffness caused by hours in the saddle. “I heard of it in Edenton; evidently the man is notorious. His reputation extends from Charleston to Jamestown.”
He looked closely at her; she was pale, but not ghastly.
“He is condemned,” he said quietly. “He will hang next week, in Wilmington. I thought you would wish to know.”
She took a deep breath, and let it out slowly, but said nothing. He stole a closer look at her, not wanting to stare, but amazed at the sheer size of her. By God, she was immense! In the two months since their engagement, she had doubled in size, at least.
One side of her enormous abdomen bulged suddenly out, startling him. He was having second thoughts about the wisdom of having told her; if the shock of his news brought on her confinement prematurely, he would never forgive himself. Jamie wouldn’t forgive him, either.
She was staring off into space, her brow wrinkled in concentration. He’d seen broodmares in foal look that way; thoroughly absorbed in inward matters. It had been a mistake to send the slave away. He got his feet under him, meaning to go and fetch assistance, but the movement brought her out of her trance.
“Thank you,” she said. The frown was still there, but her eyes had lost that distant look; they were fixed on him with a disconcerting blue directness—the more disconcerting for being so familiar.
“When will they hang him?” She leaned forward a little, hand pressed against her side. Another swell rippled across her belly in apparent response to the pressure.
He sat back, eyeing her stomach uneasily.
“Friday week.”
“Is he in Wilmington now?”
Slightly reassured by her calm demeanor, he reached for his abandoned glass. He took a sip and shook his head, feeling the comfort of the warm liquor spread through his chest.
“No. He is still here; there was no need for trial, as he had been previously convicted.”
“So they’ll move him to Wilmington for the execution? When?”
“I have no idea.” The distant look was back; with deep misgiving, he recognized it this time—not motherly abstraction; calculation.
“I want to see him.”
Very deliberately, he swallowed the rest of the brandy.
“No,” he said definitely, setting down the glass. “Even if your state allowed of travel to Wilmington—which it assuredly does not,” he added, glancing sidelong at her dangerous-looking abdomen—“attendance at an execution could not but have the worst effects upon your child. Now, I am in complete sympathy with your feelings, my dear, but—”
“No you aren’t. You don’t know what my feelings are.” She spoke without heat, but with complete conviction. He stared at her for a moment, then got up and went to fetch the decanter.
She watched the amber liquid purl up in the glass and waited for him to pick it up before she went on.
“I don’t want to watch him die,” she said.
“Thank God for that,” he muttered, and took a mouthful of brandy.
“I want to talk to him.”
The mouthful went down the wrong way and he choked, spluttering brandy over the frills of his shirt.
“Maybe you should sit down,” she said, squinting at him. “You don’t look so good.”
“I can’t think why.” Nonetheless, he sat down, and groped for a kerchief to wipe his face.
“Now, I know what you’re going to say,” she said firmly, “so don’t bother. Can you arrange for me to see him, before they take him to Wilmington? And before you say no, certainly not, ask yourself what I’ll do if you
do
say that.”
Having opened his mouth to say “No, certainly not,” Lord John shut it and contemplated her in silence for a moment.
“I don’t suppose you are intending to threaten me again, are you?” he asked conversationally. “Because if you are…”
“Of course not.” She had the grace to blush slightly at that.
“Well, then, I confess I do not see quite what you—”
“I’ll tell my aunt that Stephen Bonnet fathered my baby. And I’ll tell Farquard Campbell. And Gerald Forbes. And Judge Alderdyce. And then I’ll go down to the garrison headquarters—that must be where he is—and I’ll tell Sergeant Murchison. If he won’t let me in, I’ll go to Mr. Campbell for a writ to make him admit me. I have a right to see him.”
He looked at her narrowly, but he could see it was no idle threat. She sat there, solid and immobile as a piece of marble statuary, and just as susceptible of persuasion.
“You do not shrink from creating a monstrous scandal?” It was a rhetorical question; he sought only to buy himself a moment to think.
“No,” she said calmly. “What have I got to lose?” She lifted one eyebrow in a half-humorous quirk.
“I suppose you’d have to break our engagement. But if the whole county knows who the baby’s father is, I think that would have the same effect as the engagement, in terms of keeping men from wanting to marry me.”
“Your reputation—” he began, knowing it was hopeless.
“Is not real hot to start with. Though come to that, why should it be worse for me to be pregnant because I was raped by a pirate than because I was wanton, as my father so charmingly put it?” There was a small note of bitterness in her voice that stopped him from saying any more.
“Anyway, Aunt Jocasta isn’t likely to throw me out, just because I’m scandalous. I won’t starve; neither will the baby. And I can’t say I care whether the Misses MacNeill call on me or not.”
He took up his glass and drank again, carefully this time, with an eye on her to prevent further shocks. He was curious to know what had passed between her and her father—but not reckless enough to ask. Instead he put down the glass and asked, “Why?”
“Why?”
“Why do you feel you must speak with Bonnet? You say I do not know your feelings, which is undeniably true.” He allowed a tinge of wryness to creep into his voice. “Whatever they are, though, they must be exigent, to cause you to contemplate such drastic expedients.”
A slow smile grew on her lips, spreading into her eyes.
“I really like the way you talk,” she said.
“I am exceeding flattered. However, if you would contemplate answering my question…”
She sighed, deeply enough to make the flame of the candle flicker. She stood up, moving ponderously, and groped in the seam of her gown. She had evidently had a pocket sewn into it, for she extracted a small piece of paper, folded and worn with much handling.
“Read that,” she said, handing it to him. She turned away, and went to the far end of the room, where her paints and easel stood in a corner by the hearth.
The black letters struck him with a small jolt of familiarity. He had seen Jamie Fraser’s hand only once before, but once was enough; it was a distinctive scrawl.
Daughter—
I cannot say if I shall see you again. My fervent hope is that it shall be so, and that all may be mended between us, but that event must rest in the Hand of God. I write now in the event that He may will otherwise.
You asked me once whether it was right to kill in revenge of the great Wrong done you. I tell you that you must not. For the sake of your Soul, for the sake of your own Life, you must find the grace of forgiveness. Freedom is hardwon, but it is not the fruit of Murder.
Do not Fear that he will escape Vengeance. Such a man carries with him the seeds of his own Destruction. If he does not Die at my Hand, it will be by another. But it must not be your Hand that strikes him down.
Hear me, for the sake of the Love I bear you.
Below the text of the letter, he had written
Your most affectionate and loving Father, James Fraser
. This was scratched out, and below it was written simply,
Da
.
“I never said goodbye to him.”
Lord John looked up, startled. Her back was turned to him; she was staring at the half-finished landscape on the easel as though it were a window.
He crossed the carpet to stand beside her. The fire had burned down in the hearth, and it was growing cold in the room. She turned to face him, clutching her elbows against the chill.
“I want to be free,” she said quietly. “Whether Roger comes back or not. Whatever happens.”
The child was restless; he could see it kicking and squirming below her crossed arms, like a cat in a sack. He drew a deep breath, feeling chilled and apprehensive.
“You are sure you must see Bonnet?”
She gave him another of those long blue looks.
“I have to find a way to forgive him, Da says. I’ve been trying, ever since they left, but I can’t do it. Maybe if I see him, I can. I have to try.”
“All right.” He let his breath out in a long sigh, shoulders slumping in capitulation.
A small light—relief?—showed in her eyes, and he tried to smile back.
“You’ll do it?”
“Yes. God knows how, but I’ll do it.”
He put out all the candles save one, keeping that to light their way to bed. He gave her his arm and they walked in silence through the empty hall, the unpeopled quiet wrapping them in peace. At the foot of the stair, he paused, letting her go ahead of him.
“Brianna.”
She turned, questioning, on the stair above him. He stood hesitant, not knowing how to ask for what he suddenly wanted so badly. He reached out a hand, lightly poised.
“May I—?”
Without speaking, she took his hand and pressed it against her belly. It was warm and very firm. They stood quite still for a moment, her hand locked over his. Then it came, a small hard push against his hand, which sent a thrill through his heart.
“My God,” he said, in soft delight. “He’s real.”
Her eyes met his in rueful amusement.
“Yes,” she said. “I know.”
It was well past dark when they drove up beside the garrison headquarters. It was a small, unprepossessing little building, dwarfed by the loom of the warehouse behind it, and Brianna eyed it askance.
“They have him in there?” Her hands felt cold, in spite of being muffled under her cloak.
“No.” Lord John glanced around, as he got down to tie the horses. A light burned in the window, but the small dirt yard was empty, the narrow street silent and deserted. There were no houses or shops nearby, and the warehousemen had long since gone home to their suppers and their beds.
He reached up both hands to help her down; alighting from a wagon was easier than getting out of a carriage, but still no small task.
“He’s in the cellar below the warehouse,” he told her, his voice pitched low. “I’ve bribed the soldier on duty to admit us.”
“Not
us,
” she said, her voice pitched as low as his, but no less firm for that. “Me. I’ll see him alone.”
She saw his lips compress tightly for a moment, then relax as he nodded.
“Private Hodgepile assures me he is in chains, or I would not countenance such a suggestion. As it is…” He shrugged, half irritably, and took her arm to guide her over the rutted ground.
“Hodgepile?”
“Private Arvin Hodgepile. Why? Are you acquainted?”
She shook her head, holding her skirts out of the way with her free hand.
“No. I’ve heard the name, but—”
The door of the building opened, spilling light into the yard.
“That’ll be you, will it, my lord?” A soldier looked out warily. Hodgepile was slight and narrow-faced, tight-jointed as a marionette. He jerked, startled, as he saw her.
“Oh! I didn’t realize—”
“You needn’t.” Lord John’s voice was cool. “Show us the way, if you please.”
With an apprehensive glance at Brianna’s looming bulk, the private brought out a lantern, and led them to a small side door into the warehouse.
Hodgepile was short as well as slight, but held himself more erect than usual in compensation.
He walks with a ramrod up his arse
. Yes, she thought, watching him with interest as he marched ahead of them. It had to be the man Ronnie Sinclair had described to her mother. How many Hodgepiles could there be, after all? Perhaps she could talk to him when she’d finished with—her thoughts stopped abruptly as Hodgepile unlocked the warehouse door.