Authors: Nikki Wilson
His head came up at the mention of money. “Wait. I thought if you performed in a benefit concert, you’d do it for free. How else will it benefit anyone?”
“In a perfect world, maybe, but there are a lot of expenses that go into performing at a concert, and unfortunately performing at a charity concert isn’t tax deductible, though purchasing new equipment for the concert is. I’ll try to use that angle with Big Papa. I know he’s been wanting to buy a new amp, but his wife has an iron fist over the money after he bought some beachfront property in Arizona.”
Chase laughed at the ludicrous story.
“Yep, he got taken on that one. Anyway, I’ll tell him his wife will like the idea of a tax deduction.”
The mystery of why Katie was Duchess’s manager had just been solved. The fact that Duchess had rocketed up the charts so quickly finally made sense. Katie stood up and began making piles of artists and venues, the ones who would most likely be free and the ones who would charge fees. She was explaining the pros and cons of each, but he found himself more fascinated by the way she kept brushing her hair back behind her ears, like wearing her hair down was unusual for her. Or maybe it was a nervous habit. He wondered if he made her nervous. He kind of liked that idea.
“Are you listening?” She had her hands on her hips now.
He didn’t want to admit that he’d been too busy thinking about her. “Of course.” He grabbed a picture of a venue out of the free pile and held it up. “I think we should book this one. But first, I think we should drive past and see if we like the location. Come on.” He stood up, and she stared at him.
“Right now?”
“Yeah. Why not?”
“I already told you. I have somewhere else to go tonight.” She bit her bottom lip, and he wondered what she was hiding.
“Oh, right, your hot date. Just tell him you’ll be late.” He couldn’t explain why he didn’t want her to go, but he was determined to distract her.
“She can’t.”
Chase turned to the doorway as Shirley walked in. There was something about that woman that made him smile.
“Well, then, maybe I’ll just take you with me instead. There’s no shortage of beautiful women in this house.” He couldn’t help but kiss the back of her hand again.
Shirley blushed, then pulled her hand out of his. “Sorry, I can’t. I have a concert to go to with the lead singer.”
“Mom.” Katie’s voice was full of warning.
“Well, that sounds important. And who would this lead singer be?” Chase couldn’t resist asking. Whoever it was, Katie didn’t want him to know. That made him want to know even more.
“Well, it’s on my bucket list to watch my favorite musician perform live. And since I’m dying, it’s a good time to cross it off the list.”
Chase waited for Shirley to add, “We’re all dying a little each day,” or something like that, but she didn’t. The look on Katie’s face confirmed Shirley’s declaration.
“Dying?” The word was like a punch to his gut.
“I’ve had colon cancer for two years. The doctors were able to remove most of it, but some of it attached to other organs in my body, and there’s not much else they can do.” Shirley’s voice was matter of fact, like she was talking about buying bread at the grocery store.
Katie’s chin jutted out defiantly. “That’s just a couple of doctors’ opinions. We’re going to find more doctors and different therapies. We’re just looking for the right one for you—that’s all.”
Chase looked at Shirley’s small form and wondered how he had missed the sickly look about her, though whenever she was around, her dazzling smile and big personality made it hard to see anything else. Sadness crept over him. Why did it seem that death always came to those who knew how to live life to the fullest? His mind immediately went to some of his buddies who didn’t make it home from the war. Shaking his head, he didn’t let the memories finish forming.
“Katie has me on every ‘super’ food imaginable—even some foods from distant countries. And don’t get me started on the tai chi classes she has me taking.” Shirley rolled her eyes, and he couldn’t help but smile.
“Tai chi centers your body and spirit, and many people have found healing in that process,” Katie defended.
“Why didn’t you tell anyone at the center?” Chase asked.
Shirley just shrugged. “Sometimes it’s nice to pretend I’m just a normal person doing normal things, like volunteering at a veterans’ center.” She looked down pointedly at his right leg before adding, “You know what I mean?”
He just nodded, but he knew exactly what she meant. He also knew the last thing she wanted was to be pitied.
“Does your bucket list mention being escorted by a handsome young man?”
“Yeah. Do you know any?” Shirley giggled.
“I just happen to be a youngish, sort-of handsome man, and I’m also available tonight.” Something was going on, and he wanted to be a part of it.
“What? No, Mom. He can’t come!” For some reason, Katie’s face went pale, and her hands began to tremble.
“Relax, honey. I’m sure he’ll enjoy the show.” There was something about the way she said it that made Chase a little nervous.
“Exactly whose concert are we going to?” He crossed his fingers that it wasn’t Duchess.
“It’s Katie, of course. She’ll always be my favorite musician.”
“Mom!” Red tinged her face. He couldn’t tell if she was angry or embarrassed.
“You’re giving a concert tonight?” He turned toward her, and suddenly wanted to hear her sing.
“No.” She started fidgeting with her billowing blouse. “It’s a small performance at a bar. My friend agreed to let me play tonight for my mom.”
“To me, it will be a concert because she’s already a star.”
“Yes, I can see that.”
“Look, you don’t need to come. Really, it’s fine.” Katie’s nervousness intrigued him more.
Like he was going to pass up a chance to watch her sing in those jeans. He wondered what kind of songs she sang. Were they sad? Passionate? Fun?
“And deprive Shirley of crossing off another item on her bucket list by refusing to escort her myself? I think not. When do we leave?”
Chapter Seven
This can’t be happening,
Katie thought as she threw open the door to the bar. It was just her luck—her first performance as herself, and Chase was going to witness it. How could her mother do this to her? Shirley knew how nervous Katie got in front of people. Well, not when she was Duchess, of course, because nobody knew it was her. Tonight was different. Not only would everyone know who she was, but she would be playing her own songs. The ones the agents and record labels had said weren’t good enough. Even scarier than that, she would be singing David’s song. She’d promised her mom.
Beads of sweat formed on her brow, and she felt a stomachache coming on. Why did she agree to this? This was a very bad idea.
“Katie!”
Roderick, the owner of the bar, welcomed her with a hug. “Shirley. It’s a pleasure to see you again. And who is this you brought with you? Have you turned into a cougar without telling me first? How unfair of you!”
Katie turned as her mother and Chase came in behind her.
“Oh, Roderick, you know flattery will get you everywhere.” Shirley batted his shoulder with her hand.
Katie couldn’t believe what a flirt her mother had turned into lately.
“This is Carter Chase.” Shirley hooked her arm through Chase’s as she introduced him. “He’s with Veterans’ Aid, and Katie is helping them put on a benefit concert.”
Katie was grateful her mother made the introductions. Personally, she was trying to forget his existence.
“Just call me Chase.”
“Nice to meet you, Chase.” Roderick shook his hand while they sized each other up. Katie wasn’t sure why men did that. If they were mountain goats, they would just clash horns and get it over with.
“I’m going to help set up the stage.” Katie left the group to find Duchess’s band setting up. They’d been very willing to play with her tonight. They learned the music to her songs, which made it difficult to look them in the eye now. What if they didn’t like what she’d written? She supposed she was about to find out.
“Hey, Jason. What do I need to do?” Katie looked at the stage.
“Nothing except run a sound check with us.”
“Of course.” He hadn’t said anything about the songs. She knew she shouldn’t ask, but she couldn’t help herself. “So, how was the music? I mean, I know we didn’t have time to rehearse. I’m sure it was rough.”
“Rough? No way! Hey, Dan!” Jason waved the drummer over, and Katie felt her heart in her throat. “Tell Katie what you think of the music she gave us.”
“Oh, yeah, it’s sick! I especially like the one about the soldier. Very heavy stuff.”
Katie wasn’t sure she could accept what they said at face value. After all, she was paying them to play tonight. Well, actually, Duchess was. As far as they knew, Duchess was really passionate about Shirley’s bucket list. She’d called it a “novel” idea.
“Um, thanks. Well, let’s do this.” She let out a breath, and Jason laughed.
“Come on, Katie. You look like you’re going to your own hanging instead of your first gig.”
“I’ll be fine,” she said, then snapped her mouth shut. On second thought, maybe she wouldn’t be. She turned and ran to the bathroom. She barely made it to the toilet before she lost her lunch. This wasn’t supposed to happen. She was a famous pop star, for heaven’s sake. She’d been on stages much bigger than this. Why couldn’t she just sing a couple of little songs for the small crowd that would be here? The other voice in her head told her exactly why it wasn’t the same. For one, she never sang
her
songs. Well, technically, she wrote Duchess’s songs too, but they were simple repetitive riffs she could write in her sleep. These songs? They were her heart and soul in loud musical notes. Soon, her heart and soul would be sounding in the ears of every person in the audience. Unless they were deaf. She couldn’t believe she was actually hoping for a deaf audience. She really should have thought of that for her first gig.
Taking a shaky breath, she stood up and flushed the toilet. She could do this. It was one night, it was only a few of her own songs, and then she would sing some covers like Roderick had asked her to. Maybe she would start with some covers to loosen her up. The thought helped steady her breathing.
She was at the sink to rinse out her mouth and check her makeup when her mother walked in.
“Oh, Katie Bug. I thought you would be over the nerves by now.”
Katie shook her head as she leaned over the sink and swished and spit. “I’ll be fine.” She couldn’t let her mother down. This was one of her dying wishes, and Katie
would
fulfill it.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“Yes, I do. But I think I’m going to start with some cover songs first to get me relaxed. I think that may work.” She put a brave smile on her face. “Now, get out there and be sure to cheer loud so I can hear you.”
Shirley looked doubtful for a moment before smiling. “Of course. I’ll be the one with the air horn.”
Katie had a feeling she wasn’t kidding. She watched her mother leave and took a deep breath to steady herself.
I can do this,
she thought one more time before opening the door.
It was still early, but the bar had already begun to fill up. She tried not to focus on the number of people. She went to the stage and started the sound check.
An hour later, it was time for the show, and once again, Katie wished for a deaf audience. She couldn’t wish for a non-existent one because it was a full house tonight. She wasn’t sure why. No one knew who she was, did they?
“Welcome to Shooters!” Roderick was at the mic giving the intro. Katie took a few more deep breaths and imagined she was on a beach, but Roderick’s booming voice brought her back to the bar with a thud. “Tonight, we have a real treat for you. The music business knows her as Duchess’s manager, but soon, all will know her as Katie Murphy! Remember that name, folks, because one day you’ll be able to say you saw her first at Shooter’s!”
The crowd erupted in applause and whistles. Katie’s heart beat in her throat, and she wondered how she was going to sing if it remained there. She stepped up to the mic, and an idea took over that made her smile.
“Thank you, Roderick. It’s great to be here. I thought I’d start us off with a fun little song. Shhh! Don’t tell my boss.” She winked at the audience and told the band what to play. She couldn’t help but look over at Chase as she began to sing.
“You wrote a note to King George back in 1776,
Claimed you needed to be free from us Brits.
But you’ve been worshipping us ever since.
If it weren’t for a war and dumping tea from a ship,
You’d all be enjoying wonderful fish ’n chips!”
It sounded so much different to her without the voice synthesizer in the mic. She was careful to overdramatize any of Duchess’s dance moves, making fun of the artist, but she wasn’t going to sue herself, so she might as well have some fun.
“Fish ’n Chips, fish ’n chips,
Read my lips, you want fish ’n chips!”
The annoyed look on Chase’s face added to the giddy feeling taking over. The next couple of songs were covers from other artists. Katie felt the adrenaline that normally came at one of Duchess’s concerts, only it was different this time. People were screaming for her. As the current song came to an end, Katie took a deep gulp and told the band what to play next before she spoke into the mic.
"This is an original song I wrote for someone very special. I hope he’s smiling over me right now." Her hands began to shake as she picked up her acoustic guitar and slid a bar stool up to the mic. This song exposed her emotions at a vulnerable time in her life. There was no makeup to put on, no wig or big dress to hide behind. It was time to show the audience who she really was.
Wiping her hands on her jeans, she took a steadying breath and began to sing David’s song.
“Red, white, and blue
I can’t see those colors without thinking of you.
Red is the blood you freely spilt,
White is your innocence I felt.