Read Dunc and the Scam Artists Online
Authors: Gary Paulsen
Dunc paced up and down the sidewalk in front of his house. He racked his brain, but for once a solution did not present itself.
“Will you stop it?” Amos yawned. “You’re making me tired. You’re not going to get anywhere on this one. You don’t even have a case. And if you did, you don’t have any proof. Besides, if we don’t get finished with that current events assignment, we’ll both be in hot water.”
“That’s it Amos! You’re a genius.”
“Don’t tell me—you’ve come up with a plan involving me and hot water.”
“No Amos. Don’t you get it? Proof. We need proof. Why didn’t I think of this before? I know
where the proof is. It’s buried in Mrs. Dell’s shed. The creep is posing as her nephew and using her place to hide from the cops. He’s buried the evidence in the dirt floor of the shed.”
“Right, and we’ll just casually walk up to the door and ask to dig holes all over the poor woman’s shed.”
“Use your head Amos. We’ll have to do it at night, when they’re all asleep. I’ll meet you at the usual place when you’re all clear.”
At midnight it was darker than usual. Both boys were waiting just outside the gate in front of Betsy Dell’s house.
“Everyone is asleep,” Dunc whispered.
“How can you be sure they’re asleep?” Amos asked. “Do you always go to sleep at the stroke of midnight? My uncle Alfred, the one who picks his toes, he never goes to sleep at night. He sleeps in the daytime, sitting in front of the TV.”
“I don’t see any lights on in the house. We’d better go ahead and do it now whether they’re asleep or not. If we don’t we won’t get back on time.”
They left their bikes near the fence and
climbed over the squeaky gate so that it wouldn’t groan and attract attention.
They were dressed in the black clothes and ski masks they always wore for special night missions.
Step by step they silently worked their way to the shed.
“You start digging and I’ll keep a lookout,” Dunc said.
“Naturally,” Amos murmured. “Hey, where’s the shovel? Shine your light over here. I thought it was right here.”
“It was. Let’s look around for it.”
“It’s not here now, so I guess we’ll have to go home and forget all about it, right?” Amos was hopeful.
“We’ll just have to use our hands. Start digging. I’ll help you.”
They scooped the dirt out with their bare hands.
“I’ve found something Dunc. Turn on your flashlight.”
The light caught the top of a green metal box with a white handle in the shape of an angel.
“Let’s see if we can get the rest of it uncovered,” Dunc said.
The screen door on the front porch slammed shut. A tall figure walked out onto the porch and lit a cigarette.
The boys froze.
Dunc whispered softly, “Help me cover up the box and then get up against the wall. We’ll watch out the window. If he comes this way, we’ll have to make a run for it.”
Amos nodded.
A second figure walked out onto the porch but it was too dark to tell much about it. They were too far away to make out what was being said.
“… won’t be long … enough money … retire … after … one … more … job …”
The boys inched toward the door of the shed. Suddenly the doorknob turned and an extremely large person walked into the shed. It was the creep.
“Where’s the light switch? I can’t see a thing in here,” the big man said. He felt around and grabbed Amos by the ear.
“Run!”
Amos screeched.
They ran wide open, out the door of the
shed, right over the big man. He went down,
whumping
up a cloud of dust.
In the dark it was hard to tell which direction they were running. Then Amos’s foot pounded down onto a rake—rakes seemed to wait for him—and it came up and hit him perfectly between the eyes.
“Rake!” he yelled. “I’ve been raked—”
“Keep quiet Amos, I think we’ve lost them.”
“Easy for you to say.” Amos held his nose.
Dunc took his belt off and handed one end of it to Amos. “Hold on. We’ve got to stay together. Come on.”
The boys crashed through some thick brush and ran smack into a picket fence.
“Our bikes are along here somewhere. Hurry
up
Amos. Amos? Amos, where are you?”
“I’m stuck Dunc. Turn on the flashlight and help me.”
Dunc pointed the light at Amos, whose head was jammed between two rails of the wooden fence.
“Quit fooling around Amos. They’ll be here any second. Pull it out.”
“I’m not fooling around—help me get it off.”
Dunc grabbed the fence and heaved. Amos’s
head didn’t budge. “I can’t move it. The whole section wobbled but your head doesn’t seem to want to come loose.”
“Pull,” Amos said. “Pull hard.”
Just then, Dunc heard noise in back of him and he grabbed in panic and heaved, felt something give, and took off for the bicycles, dragging Amos behind.
Amos had bright red ears and a purple goose egg between his eyes.
Dunc inspected the bruises more closely. “Did you have any trouble explaining your appearance to your parents?”
“I was kind of worried when my dad had to use the power saw to get that section of fence off of my head. I thought he might ask how it got there. But you know, he never did. He just kept mumbling something about how it wasn’t fair how you couldn’t pick your kids.”
“I guess they’re sort of used to your accidents by now,” Dunc said.
“That’s for sure. This morning my mom
looked right at me, fence and all, and asked me if I had slept well.”
“Cheer up Amos. We came awful close to getting our case solved last night. Let’s go up to my room and figure out where we went wrong.”
“I can’t. My uncle Alfred and my cousin, Little Brucie, are coming over after a while. My mom says I have to be home when the little monster arrives so that I can keep him from wrecking the place and eating the other goldfish. Besides, I know where I went wrong. It was when I agreed to go along with you last night. I should have stayed home and knitted.”
“Can you knit Amos? I didn’t know you could do that.” The look spread across Dunc’s face. “It just might come in handy sometime.”
“Dunc, that is just an expression. Something people say when they wish they had stayed at home and minded their own business.”
“You probably have all sorts of talent Amos. There’s probably no limit to your abilities.”
Amos rubbed the knot on his forehead. “If it’s all the same to you, I’d rather leave my abilities untapped. By the way, we are going to leave this particular case alone now that we’ve tipped off the bad guys, aren’t we?”
“Sure Amos, I just need to check into a couple of things and then we’ll give it up. You go on over and watch Little Brucie. I need to go downtown for a while. When I get back, I’ll come over and help you.”
Without the volleyball net, Little Brucie was in rare form. From the time he arrived until Dunc got back from town, he led Amos on a wild chase, destroying anything that got in his path.
When Amos wasn’t looking, he superglued Amos’s new tennis shoes to the bathroom floor. While he was in the bathroom, he stuffed seven rolls of toilet paper down the toilet and when Amos caught up with him, he was crawling after the cat with a hair dryer in one hand.
Dunc yelled as he rode up the driveway, “Amos, come down here. I’ve got news for you.”
“You come up here. I can’t take my eyes off this kid for one minute. He’s liable to torch the place.”
Dunc walked in the front door and ducked just in time to avoid a flying bowl of red Jell-O.
“Hey, what’s going on here?”
“Brucie is playing flying saucer,” Amos said.
“Cute kid.”
“I’ve had enough fun for one day. I’m going to get my mom to watch this little alien.”
Securely out of Little Brucie’s reach, the boys relaxed in Dunc’s room.
“So what big news do you have for me?” Amos asked.
“Well, I checked on Mrs. Dell’s property. It hasn’t been stolen. I also found out that she hasn’t reported being robbed or anything.”
“That’s nice for her. So what’s the big deal?”
“Don’t you get it Amos? The crooks haven’t made their play yet. We still may have time to save her.”
“Dunc, I don’t think you live in the real world with the rest of us. What do you think we are, a couple of superheroes or something?”
“No really Amos—I have a plan that might just save Mrs. Dell and catch the crooks at the same time.”
“You always have a plan. That’s the trouble. But they never work out the way you plan them.”
“This one is so simple, it’s got to work. Listen, I already talked to Mrs. Dell and set it up without her really knowing about it.”
It was a superhot day, one of those days when Amos thought he’d like to just live inside the air conditioner.
But instead, Amos was sweating and complaining. “Why did your plan have to involve physical labor? You didn’t have to tell her we were Boy Scouts trying to earn a merit badge. At least we could have gotten paid. This is our one and only spring break. It only lasts two weeks and then it’s gone.”
“A little yard work never hurt anybody Amos. I’ve been noticing your arms lately.”
“What’s wrong with my arms?”
“They’re kinda puny. They could be a little more solid, have a little more muscle.”
“I really don’t care if I ever have any muscles or not, especially if this is the way you get them,” Amos said tiredly.
Dunc chopped another weed. “Well, you know I don’t care, but some girls like guys with muscles.”
Amos dropped his rake and stood up as straight as he could. He puffed out his chest and flexed his skinny arms. Then shook his head. “Melissa will have to love me like I am—I think it’s hopeless. Let’s leave and go eat more pizza.”
“Maybe later. Right now, we need to stay here and watch the house. If the creep comes back, we’ve got to stop him from scamming Mrs. Dell.”
They worked steadily in the hot sun all day. But absolutely nothing unusual happened—except for the time Amos used the electric weed-walloper and it got away from him. Luckily, the motor ran out of gas before it took all of Amos’s hair off, but it did leave him looking patchy and his ears were welted. Mrs. Dell brought them
some lemonade to drink with their lunch and some cookies for a snack in the afternoon and she made a point of not staring at Amos. Between the weed-walloper and the picket fence, he looked as if he’d tried to kiss a rotary mower.
The front yard looked great and the mountain of weeds by the shed was gone.
While they worked near the shed, they took the opportunity to look around. This time Amos had guard duty while Dunc searched. He dug in the exact spot where Amos had found the green metal box. Nothing was there.
The only clues the crooks had left were large footprints and those could have been left at any time.
“What a bust,” Amos said as they wearily pedaled for home.
“Maybe something will turn up tomorrow.” Dunc sighed.
The next morning started off the same way. The boys mowed the grass in the back yard and kept an eye out for anything suspicious.
About two o’clock a blue, late-model car pulled up in Mrs. Dell’s driveway. A large man
got out and walked into the house without knocking.
Dunc moved close to the living-room window and peered in to get a better look. “It’s him—I knew it. He’s got a mustache and everything. Look Amos, he’s got some papers. He probably wants her to sign something. We’ve got to get closer so we can hear.”
They crawled around to the front porch. The door was wide open.
The big man was talking, “Look, I said I had some important business to discuss with you.”
“Now Frank dear, I told you not to come back here. You shouldn’t be here.”
Dunc grabbed Amos by the shoulder. “Quick, we gotta think of something. We can’t let him get her to sign anything. Go ask for a drink of water.”
Before he had time to think, Amos knocked on the door and shouted, “Mrs. Dell, I hate to bother you, but could I have a drink of water?”
“Who’s that?” the big man asked gruffly.
“Just a sweet boy who’s volunteered to do some yard work for me.” Mrs. Dell called to the front door. “Come in dear. Go right on in to the
kitchen and get your drink. The glasses are on the drainboard.”