The urge to push the button ripped through her like a lightning bolt rips through a stormy sky, setting her whole body to shaking. They deserved to die. All of them deserved to die. She should push the damn thing. It’d be right. It’d be justice.
Would it be right or just? Do you want to be just like them? Do you?
She stiffened against her conscience, trying to ignore it, but she couldn’t shut out the truth. If she pushed the button and killed them, then she would be stooping to their leavel. She’d be guilty of all she hated. She’d be making a mockery of her life’s work, her ethics. Sweat trickled down her temples. But so many would be better off without them. Her fingers inched up, hovered over the button. So many … A vision flashed through her mind. A vision of herself at eighty, facing the mirror.
“No. No, you’re not taking this away from me, too. NO!” She dropped her fisted hand-and punched the framing beside the button.
The men screamed.
And that scream proved she had done the right thing in letting them live. She’d devoted herself to the system, to the law. Now she had to prove her faith in it by trusting that system to work. By letting them be judged.
The hangar door swung open, and a flurry of activity at its mouth snagged Tracy’s attention. MPS armed to the teeth, Agent Seven, General Nestler, and Janet rushed in. And Adam.
Oh, God, Adam! Tracy ran to him.
Adam opened his arms, suffered the impact of her ramming into his chest, then wrapped his arms around her and held her tight. He buried his face at her neck, cupped her head with his hand. She was alive. She was alive!
And babbling. let her go, He let her ramble, unable and unwilling to scanning the hangar over her shoulder and spotting the men locked inside the simulator chamber. How in hell had she managed to get them inside it?
Seeing the gun on the simulator control panel, Adam understood. How she’d gotten the weapon from them would come out soon enough; she was already rushing through events, filling in the blanks. Tracy might not be trained, but she’d performed as if she had been schooled by the best. ,You disarmed Randall?”
She nodded, her fingers curled at Adam’s waist, digging into his sides. “They locked me in there, Adam, and turned on the simulator. I tried not to breathe and they decontaminated before letting me out because they thought I was going to drive the car through the wall.”
“Ah, you found the key.”
She nodded. “I knew you’d have one stashed somewhere.” Her expression turned serious. “Do you think I’ll live?”
“I’m sure of it.”
“How can you be sure?” melting smile.
He gave her his most devastating, heart-M “Trust me.”
She smiled, and pressed a kiss to his neck, squeezed him tightly. “When I thought I was going to die, my whole life flashed before me. I regretted, Adam. I didn’t want to die with more regret, but I almost did-”
Agent Seven had Hackett, O’Dell, Paul Keener, and Randall Moxley handcuffed and lined up outside the chamber, reading them their rights. Adam considered grabbing the gun and killing them for what they’d done to Tracy and for what they’d tried to do to the world, but he held Tracy instead. She’d endured it, and she’d chosen to let them live. Adam had to respect her decision.
He looked down into her tear-streaked eyes, knowing he should tell her she hadn’t almost died. He’d disconnected the gas. The only thing flowing into the chamber was air under pressure. And he would tell her. Just as soon as she answered a question for him. “What did you regret, honey?”
“Failing you.”
His heart felt squeezed. He bent low, pressed a kiss to the corner of her eye. “You didn’t. You couldn’t.”
General Nestler cleared his throat.
Tracy turned, but Adam kept his arm draped over her shoulder, kept her close to his side. Coming so close to losing her, he couldn’t let go-not yet. Not until not losing her had time to sink into him and feel real.
“Go ahead and take Tracy home. We’ll mop up here.”
The general slid Adam a knowing look, as if he understood that need to hold. “In fact, take a week of leave. Both of you. By the time you get back, I’ll have everything straightened out.”
“Thank you, sir.” Adam smiled.
“Congratulations on the success of your most recent covert mission, Captain Burke. And thank you for your cooperation and assistance in helping him effect his cover, Captain Keener.” Laurel’s god’s eyes twinkled and he rubbed at his temple. “You realize, of course, Project Duplicity will be funded.”
“It’s vital to national security,” Adam said. Keener’s lab had produced it. It wouldn’t take long before others had the ability. Funding the project was the only way to ensure an antidote, to protect civilians and the military from attacks. “Only God knows what Keener’s done with it already-”
“We’ll be finding that out, I assure you,” Nestler said.
“The JAG has already -obtained the judge’s approval on those, er, other matters, Adam. Keener Chemical has been locked down.”
Tracy found her voice. “Dr. Kane has a sample, Sir. you might want to send someone from Environmental to retrieve it.”
“Retained for safe The general’s eyes gleamed.
keeping, eh?” didn’t know “Yes, Sir,” she met his gaze easily. “I I’m sorry, but that’s the truth, whether or not to trust YOU Sir.”
He smiled. ,Are you sure you haven’t been Intel trained, Captain?”
She smiled back- ,Only trial by fire, Sir.”
,,Captain Burke.” General Nestler looked at Adam. When you return from leave, we’re going to to have to discuss your future. You realize your exposure during this mission has halted your days in covert operations.”
“Yes, Sir.” Only a tiny hint of regret tinged Adam’s voice.
“I suggest YOU consider management in Intel. Less travel.”. A knowing gleam lit in his eye. “Easier on the family. Of course, we could give you a new identity. Think about it and we’ll discuss it after your leave.”
Adam nodded- “I’ll consider all options, sir.” He hoped to come out of this with a family. But whether or not that family would agree to become his, he’d have to wait and see. “I considered standing by and keep Janet joined them. my mouth shut about something, then figured, what the hell, I’m in trouble already for breaking orders.”
“Under the circumstances, we’ll forget that,” Nestler told her. ‘,“But don’t let it happen again, Janet.”
“No, sir.” She cocked her head to look up at him “General Captain Keener’s promotion board meets in a couple of I weeks-What do you expect the odds are of her making major?”
He tried not to smile, but the hint of one curved his lip. “I’ll do what I can.”
to a general officer, glared at her friend, mortified. No well knew it. What had happened to all her worrying about burying her skinny ass in rubble?
“Why? If you want to know, you ask, right?” Janet shrugged, then looked back at the general. “That promise does extend to her Career Status selection, too, doesn’t it?”
Nestler’s eyes twinkled. “I’ll report Captain Keener’s service to all interested parties, along with my recommendations. Her OER will carry my endorsement, but the decisions are, of course, up to the selection boards.”
Janet beamed at him. “That’s great, sir.”
Tracy had to swallow a gasp. He would do all he could with both of them, and in his position, he could do a lot.
“Thank you, Sir.”
“My pleasure.” The general nodded. “Dismissed, Captains.”
Adam gave Tracy’s shoulder a squeeze, then led her to the hangar door. They stepped out into the sultry night air and started walking across the asphalt -toward the brown Jeep.
Tracy looped an arm around his waist. “A week off.” She let out a sexy moan. “What are we going to do with it?”
“Take a vacation together.” Adam smiled down at her.
“You’re going to love it, Tracy. That’s a promise.”
“I I m sure I will.” She leaned her head against his arm.
“But we start out tomorrow.”
“Honey, I think you’ll really want to-”
“No, Adam. Tomorrow.” She stopped and looked up at him, splayed her hands on his chest. “Tonight, now, I need to be close to you.”
Adam debated, but he’d been in her current position too many times. She didn’t just want to be close, she needed it. Needed to feel safe, to make the transition from life-threatening circumstance and situation to normal life. She’d looked death in the face, and survived. Now, she needed affirmation of life., to feel loved. “Okay, tomorrow.”
She gave him a crooked grin. “Let’s go home and make love.”
He pretended a lightness he didn’t feel. “Have you got chips and soda?”
“You bet.”
:“Then how can I refuse?”
“You can’t.” She pinched his ribs and got into the Jeep. When he got in on the other side and closed the door, she added, “Not that you want to. You need to love me as much as I need to love you.”
“That, counselor,” he confessed, pulling her into his arms, “is a fact.”
They didn’t make it to Tracy’s room before making love. Honestly, they had to work at it to make it from the garage into the kitchen. Stretching from her seat on the kitchen table to watch Adam get a soda out of the fridge, then a bag of chips from the pantry, Tracy thought she just might love that eagerness.
Unwinding and downloading, they talked about events, n then went to Tracy’s bedroom, showered, and made love again. This time, slow love, without the urgent need for affirmation of life interfering, and Tracy loved it, too.
Snuggling against Adam’s side, her head at his shoulder, her hand on his chest, she sighed her contentment. :“Ready for your chips?”
“In a minute.” She rolled her head back on her neck, brushing his chin with the tip of her nose. “I really need to stop the junk food addiction, and the caffeine.”
“What you need is a substitute.” Adam gazed down at her, the look in his eyes still as warm as when he’d been making love with her.
She wrinkled her nose. “Like carrot sticks or celery?”
“Or me.”
“Mmm, sounds appealing. Show me what you have in mind.”
“I have every intention of doing that,” he said. “But it could take a good, long while. A lifetime maybe? She Pushed back a little to better see his face in the lamplight. “Then You’d better tell me about your job first. II “We need to have a serious talk about Your priorities, woman.”
“I’m serious. II She touched his chin.” Nestler offered you a new ID so you can stay in the field. Are you going to do it?”
“No.
“Why not?” Back to Pulling teeth again, she hiked the sheet up over her shoulder.
Adam pulled it around them, and snuggled down beside her. “I’d have to cut all ties. I don’t want to do that. Do you want me to do that?”
“No, I don’t.” She shouldn’t push it. She was courting disaster. “What ties specifically don’t you want to cut?” Bloody hell. She’d pushed it anyway.
“I’d have to leave you forever, and I’d rather not.” Adam let her see his feelings in his eyes. “I’d rather be tied to you forever.”
Her heart was stuck somewhere in her throat. “Is that a proposal, Burke?”
“Yeah, counselor, I guess it is.” Afraid to breathe, she-tilted her head to look up at him. “Do you love me?”
He hesitated, dropped his gaze to her rocket. He caught the disc between his forefinger and thumb. “There’s a Part of me that really admires you for still loving Matthew. And there’s a part of me that envies the hell out of him. In all my life, no one has ever loved me that much.”
Regret filled his eyes. “But he’s gone now, Tracy, and I’m here.”
“DO You love me, Adam?” she asked again.
“Yeah.” He swallowed hard. “Yeah, I guess I do.”
“Then I guess I accept your proposal.” She kissed him long and deep, rekindling the fire between them. And when they’d satiated it, she again nestled to him, content and happy for the first time in five years. “I love you, too, Adam.”
He sighed contentedly against her mouth. “I know, counselor.”
“Arrogant becomes you.” She nipped at his neck. “So where are we going on vacation?”
Adam sucked in a deep breath, then took the plunge.
“To New Orleans.”
Stroking fingertip paths on his chest, Tracy stopped dead in her tracks. “I don’t go to New Orleans, Adam.
Not even for you-”
He kissed the stiffness right out of her. ,You’ll want to go. Trust me.”
Trust him. Sooner or later his trust tests would’ stop And she wouldn’t have to prove herself. As wounded as held been, that could take a while. But the wait would be worth it. Still, this was New Orleans.
Dear God, New Orleans!
Don’t be stupid. You can’t go back there.
Shut up. For him, I can. I will.
Finally! Thank God … Opening ” All right,” she said, taking a leap of faith her eyes, she clasped his sides and looked up into his face. “I’ll have a hard time being there. All the memories, you know? But I’ll go. Because you asked me to do it.” do?”
,,Will you do one more thing I ask you to in him. “If This was important; she sensed the tension I can.” big hands.
,,You can.” He cupped her face in his “Marry me right away, Tracy. I promise, you won’t regret it.”
She gave him a watery smile. “Absolutely.”
Tracy stared at the split between 1-10 and 1-12. Adam Continued on straight ahead, on 1-12. “You missed the turn,” she told him. “New Orleans is that way.”
“I know. But we’re going this way.”
She snitched the sod“‘a can tucked between his legs. “Exactly where are we going?”
-I He gave her a sly smile. “You said you trusted me, counselor.”
She took a drink from the can, then put it back between his legs. “I trust you enough to marry you.” And seeing a garbage can at the roadside, she knew how to prove it, once and for all. “Adam, stop. There, by that garbage can.
: “Why?”
“Just do it, okay?” She winced. “Without taking out those people’s mailbox.”
He pulled up to the can, and braked to a stop.
Tracy reached into the back seat and unzipped a small case, then pulled out her Pooh slippers. “My dad used to say “When the world’s kicking your ass, hon, kick back. Just make sure you’re wearing steel-toe shoes.”
” She smiled softly. “I never could quite make myself go for those steel toes.”