Dying Commitment (Lucky Thirteen) (18 page)

“Dylan—”

“I need you to tell me that you’re done with it. With Jack Allen. With living in the past. Let someone else question him. Stop letting him run your life.”

Had she lost her voice? I waited a few seconds, hoping that she would say something.

Anything.

But when she still didn’t say a word, just looked at me with those haunted emerald eyes, I couldn’t take anymore. I knew what that meant. She’d made her decision, and so did I. I sighed. “Right. Guess that makes my choice easy.” There was nothing easy about what I was about to do. My heart rebelled, putting so much pressure on my lungs that it was hard to breathe. “I’m not going to watch you deteriorate. I love you too much to watch that happen. Not now. Not ever.”

I wanted to shake her and tell her she was wrong, that Jack was unimportant in the grand scheme of things. That I loved her, and I wanted her. Instead, I turned my back and walked away. And the thing I noticed after a few steps was that she wasn’t coming after me. She wasn’t trying to stop me from leaving.

It was really over.

A few seconds later, Murphy ran up to me. “Hey.”

“Yeah?”

“Thought you might need this,” he said, holding out my phone.

“Where did you find it?”

“In the back alley. The Valonian police closed off the whole block when we called them. They were collecting evidence and found it.”

“You called the police?”

“It’s their country. They have jurisdiction and were more than happy to help us recover our team members while taking down a criminal element. When Cadence ran out after Jack Allen, we were right there waiting.”

“Oh,” I whispered. I cleared my throat. “What about Giroux?”

“Wasn’t here when we got here.” Murphy’s voice took on a slight growl. I didn’t blame the guy. Giroux had almost blown him up last year. “But we do have Jack Allen. I’m hoping he’ll give us enough to find Giroux.”

I nodded. “I’m glad it worked out. I’m… gonna take off for a bit.”

“Where are you going?”

Who knew?

“I just… I need a break.”

Murphy eyed me carefully, like he didn’t like the idea of me running off. “You really shouldn’t be alone right now.”

“I really shouldn’t be around
her
right now,” I replied. I didn’t have to say who “her” was. Inside my chest, the tension built, like when you squeezed water out of a wet towel, or blew up a balloon to the point where it might pop. “I’ll be around if you need me.” I waved the phone at him.

“Stay close. Like within sight, okay? I’ll keep her away from you.” Murphy clapped his hand on my back and walked back toward the van, they had. I couldn’t see Jack anymore, but I saw Cadence as she climbed into the specialized van, where no doubt Jack would be too. She didn’t even look my way as the door shut.

~*~*~

Cadence

Walking away from Dylan, as much as I was doing it, was getting so hard to do. But this time I didn’t have to do it. He did it for me. That was just a little more soul-crushing than it had been when I was the one walking away. I supposed I deserved it. I’d done enough to him.

Jack Allen had been my worst nightmare for five years. I had to put this to bed, because I’d never have peace if I left this unresolved. It just sucked that it was at the expense of my friendship with Dylan.

So there I sat, in the van, waiting for the others to join us. It was just me and Jack. The Valonian police wanted information on Giroux, so they were willing to let us take Jack, provided we shared our intel on Giroux activities in Valonia with them.

“Your boyfriend break up with you?”

I snapped my eyes up to Jack, who just smirked at me. He was fucking with me. “Did yours?”

“You know from personal experience I’ve always been about the women.”

“I doubt I know anything about you, in all honesty.”

“Oh, honey, honesty is a foreign concept to people like us.”

“There is no ‘us’, Jack. You and I… we’re completely different folks.” He didn’t say anything immediately. He smirked and leaned his head back, closing his eyes. His handcuffs clinked together as he shifted slightly.

“Did you let the kid down easy, at least?”

“Go fuck yourself, Jack. We’re not talking about him.”

He chuckled, like he was some evil villain. The problem was… I knew Jack and he wasn’t an evil villain. There was a reason for each and every action he took. He didn’t do things because he liked them. He did them because that was what was expected of him, or what served his purpose. Like me. Or maybe, I was like him… Far more than I wanted to be. And I wasn’t willing to let him know that little tidbit.

“Look, you asshole. The only reason you’re sitting here and not laying here with a bullet or two in your chest is because of him.” I kept my voice low, so I sounded angrier and more dangerous than I was. Because right then, I wanted to crawl into a ball and cry because Dylan walked away.

“You afraid of losing his approval?”

I already had.

“No,” I said. “Remember what you said in that room back there?” I knew I was talking with Richter and Bonham sitting right there, but I didn’t mind it. Because Dylan was right. They were family. “You said my problem is that I have a heart and I’m too human.” I nodded. “That’s true. I am too human, because
he
wouldn’t let my humanity die.
He
kept me from losing myself.”

“You sound like a fucking Hallmark movie.” Jack scowled and looked away, apparently done with the conversation.

I didn’t say anything else, because Murphy opened the back door and popped his head in. “Hey, we’re good to go. The Valonian police are going to wrap up here. Bonham and Richter will ride with you and police. We’ll follow in the sedan behind you to the embassy.”

We. I knew what that meant. Dylan. He didn’t even want to be in the same vehicle with me. I couldn’t blame him for that. I’d burned the hell out of that bridge.

“Thanks, Murphy.” I told him. He nodded, and shut the door. A few minutes later, we were moving off onto the road.

No one spoke for a long time, until Jack broke the peaceful quiet with his damn mouth. “You had potential, Cady. Now look at you. Lovesick and stupid, like every other person in the world.”

I turned my head slowly so I could meet his eyes. “You can stop the tough asshole routine. I’m not buying it. I know better.”

He gave no indication that he was surprised by my words. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he expected me to know exactly when he was trying to spew bullshit at me. The corner of one side of his mouth turned up. “We’ll see if you do.”

The way he looked at me, the way he fought being good… I was almost convinced that there really was nothing of the Jack Allen I knew left. If he’d ever really been there.

~*~*~

Three days later, we were in Aruguay, at the Lucky Thirteen safe house. It was strange being back in that country. Aruguay was where Jack had shot me, twice, five years ago. It was where then SEAL Team Thirteen had rescued me two years after that. It was also where Dylan and I had first had sex, shortly after I was rescued.

Life was a damn circle. Funny how that worked.

Jack was inside the interrogation room. This was usually where I felt the most comfortable. I was good at interrogations. In fact, I’d offered to interrogate Addison when they’d recovered her last year. Her brother and Murphy would have none of it though, so I’d stayed in San Diego and let them handle it.

“What are you smiling about?” Murphy leaned against the table in the observation area, propping his head on his hands like a little kid. They were all little kids, these guys. Forever young at heart. Except when they were called to duty. Then they were all business.

“I was remembering how adamant you were that you got to talk to Addison in that very room.”

“That was mostly Hardy,” Murphy said, a little sadness in his voice. He missed his best friend. Those two had been together so much of their lives that it was a bit of a shock when Hardy was discharged for medical reasons. “He is very protective of Addison.”

“So are you,” I told him.

He nodded. “Yeah, I guess. She hates that.”

“I don’t think she does. She knows you love her.”

“I hope she does.” The quiet statement took me by surprise but it didn’t seem like he wanted to talk about it. Murphy was the stoic type. Emotions made a rare appearance with him. Addison had brought it out a little, but guys like Murphy didn’t change what made them tick.

“Is Dylan coming?” I didn’t want to let on how badly I wanted Dylan in there. Interrogations were hard anyway, but with Jack, I was likely to forget entirely that I was indeed a human being. He had a way of getting into my head, so I had to shut it all off so he couldn’t fuck with me. Dylan was always my rock. I was grounded in reality when he was there. This was the first interrogation that I was nervous about.

Murphy cleared his throat and shook his head. “He’s asked not to be part of the interrogation.”

I crossed my arms tightly, almost hugging myself. I’d really screwed up with him. But it all fell back to the idea that he needed someone worthy of him. I wasn’t that girl. I was selfish and inhuman. He needed someone more than me.

“I should get this over with,” I said quietly.

“I could get someone else to talk to this guy.”

“He won’t say a word to them. He’ll talk to me.” I sounded so much surer than I was inside.

“You sure?”

“Absolutely.” I took in a long breath, and slowly blew it out through my nose. “Okay. I’m going in.” I pulled off my gun and holster and set them on the table before leaving the room.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Cadence

It’s always an unofficial standard practice that interrogation rooms are around twenty degrees cooler than the rest of the building. When I’d been held captive with Giroux’s men, they’d done that, kept me in a freezing room with very little clothing. A comfortable prisoner is one that won’t crack under pressure.

In this case, we were underground, but the air-conditioning apparently worked really well. I wondered where the unit was and if people knew what it was. Aruguay wasn’t a rich country. Air conditioning was a luxury most didn’t have here.

I slipped into the seat across from Jack, careful not to say a word. I didn’t want to tip my hand or allow him any semblance of control in this situation. I stared hard at him. What motivated an otherwise good man to become a killer?

“That’s so cute, sweet pea. You’re using my tricks.” Jack grinned a sarcastic smile. “It won’t help you. I taught you that shit.”

“Let’s cut the bullshit then, Jack.” I leaned back in my chair.

“Why? It’s so much fun getting under your skin.”

“We can help you. You’re so intent on doing this alone, but this team got me out. They’re good. They can get you out too.” That was another rule of interrogation. Give your subject a reasonable way out. A viable reason to flip on his employer. Jack Allen would be the best asset we’d have over Giroux if I could do it.

A long silence passed as Jack’s throat worked up and down, as he thought about what I’d said, considered his answer. The handcuffs on his wrists clinked together and against the table.

Finally, he shook his head. “It’s not that easy.” His voice was rougher than I’d thought it could get. Maybe he was considering it.

“Why not?”

“The longer I’m here, the more danger I’m in.” He swallowed. “I wasn’t lying about my daughter. If Alex thinks I’ve gone back—”

“Then help me out. Tell me what I need to know.”

“No. If Alex finds out I helped you at all, he’ll kill me and her.”

"And if you don't help us, you'll end up in prison." Now that was a familiar phrase. Not to me, but other members of the team. Murphy had told Addison that when she'd been recovered by the team. Her situation had been different, but no less complicated. Giroux excelled at complicated.

Jack was in a good position to help us. And I didn't think he was a bad guy. I thought the things that he'd done, the people he killed over the years, the ways he'd hurt me... they were because those were the things Alex had wanted done. They were how he kept his daughter safe, and that… that was something I could understand.

"I can't help you," Jack said. His voice was full of pain and tension.

What exactly had Alex promised to do in the face of Jack's betrayal? Because it took one hell of a determined person to shoot another, particularly someone they were emotionally attached to. And whether Jack admitted it or not, there was an emotional connection between us.

“Jack—”

“You’re wasting your time. I made my choice. I left the NSA behind and I have a new life now.”

“Because being Alex Giroux’s pet killer is so much more fun?”

“You don’t understand.”

“I could if you just told me.” I didn’t really expect him to say anything. Everything that came out of Jack’s mouth had a purpose. I just wasn’t sure what his purpose in telling me about his daughter was yet. “What if we could get her out? Your daughter?”

“You can’t.”