Dying For A Chance (11 page)

            Gently a cold finger traced my hand, sitting on my lap and a tingle went up my spine. I opened my mouth to tell him that I wasn’t really interested in the Dr. I was just confused. But, my mouth tingled with a sudden frozen kiss. I gasped and a breath of chilled air surrounded me. His voice purred passionately in my ear.

            “I know he would be good for you but I’m not ready to give up and I don’t want you to give up either.” His hands slid down the sides of my cheeks and rested along my shoulders. He caressed my neck sending tiny sparks like icicles shooting up and down my spine. My clothes suddenly felt constricting and awkward. I worried that my silly printed pajamas were incredibly unattractive so I tried to pull my arms up to conceal them. His hands stopped me.

            “Before you decide to go off and live your new life with the Dr. I want to show you what I’m still capable of.” My eyes snapped open and looked into his face. I’d never seen him so intense.

            “How...aren’t you...you’re so young.” I held onto his hand, was he sure he wanted to try this? I didn’t want him to be disappointed with me, I was almost ten years older than him and except for the last couple weeks of exercise I hadn’t touched a treadmill in years.

            “Nineteen might sound young, Sam.” Nic slowly dragged his fingers down my shoulder to my waist. He leaned in and kissed me with such passion that I forgot what I had been complaining about. He pulled back and whispered in my ear, “But, I haven’t been young since I was nine.”

            With that, he lifted me off the couch, carried me across the room and laid me onto the soft covers of the bed. His kisses trailed my neck and made a line of blue ice under my skin. It was exhilarating. My mind raced in dizzying circles as his hands gently caressed my stomach and made lazy swoops around my belly. My muscles fluttered uncontrollably. It was torture not being able to do the same to him. My hands tried to grasp his shirt but missed in a swirl of air. Nic chuckled mischievously and the sound of his laugh rang in my ear.

“This is going to be all about you.” He whispered into my ear before smothering it with soft kisses. He pulled back, grinned at me and continued to kiss my face, lips, neck and shoulders. He didn’t let up until I begged him to stop. My whole body tingled with sparkling cold kisses, it was amazing.

Slowly his hands crept under my shirt, they pressed and pulled gently until finally his hands folded over my breasts. I gasped and he covered my mouth with more kisses. His intensity was just as shocking as his touch. My arms reached out for him but again I couldn't touch him. I grabbed the sides of the bed in frustration and pulled.

“This isn't fair,” I moaned. In response, he tugged my shirt up and over my head in one swift motion and kissed my breasts, so slowly at first but then faster, with increasing urgency and the sounds of my moans mimicked his pace. Suddenly he took one soft nipple into his mouth deep as it could go and rolled his tongue around and around. Sparks of intense pleasure shot through my whole body and lingered throughout. His hands worked their way down my back, kneading and pressing and caressing until they reached my hips. A soft groan escaped his lips and I shook with pleasure. His mouth shot back to my lips, and I reacted like a woman stranded in the desert. The force of his kiss pushed me back onto the bed. It screeched loudly and for a panicked moment I was afraid a nurse might have heard and come to check on us. I paused to listen for unwelcome footsteps but Nic kept on torturing me with his frozen kisses. My lips trembled with each tender touch of his lips and I begged him to let me touch him. I wanted some part of him, anything just so I could hold onto that moment.

Suddenly he felt solid against my body, I wrapped my arms around his head and found that I could hold him. I let out a quiet cry of triumph. The sweet icy taste of his kisses melted every last one of my reservations. My tongue lashed out and found his mouth, I could taste his icy breath and it stirred more passion than I knew I had. He broke away from my kisses and trailed his tongue down my neck and wrapped it around each of my breasts while his hands tenderly explored. I ached to touch more of him but all I could do was hold his head in my hands and caress his face as he stroked my breasts with his tongue. With a smug smile he faced me, we were both breathless.

“Is that all you've got?” I taunted. His grin doubled and with one forceful kiss that sent shock waves of icy sparks into my brain he slipped off the rest of my clothes and continued to kiss every tender part of my body from my shoulders to my feet. I arched my back and moaned loudly, his tongue went slowly around every curve of my stomach an drifted further. His tongue grazed the inside of my legs. My muscles trembled and he kept touching, tasting and licking every part of me. He didn't stop until I was shaking with sweat and little sparks of blue ice trailed down my body, circled my breasts and  lined my stomach, hips and legs.

“How was that?” he asked panting with his head propped between my breasts. I could barely move.

“Mmmhhh” I had no words to describe this feeling of utter bliss. I reached down to his head and stroked his cheek. “Some day, I'm going to have to pay you back for that.” We kissed each other sweetly and he helped me find all my clothes that had gotten thrown around the room.

Chapter 10

            The sun light streamed in through my little window and I woke with a feeling of contentment. The therapist had told me it would be my last day at the hospital. Instinctively I looked around for Nic and found him gazing out the window at the park just below my room.

            “What do you see?” I asked with a yawn and a stretch

            “There’s a little girl getting pushed on a merry go round by her dad.” He smiled “She’s got her arms out and playing like she’s an airplane.”

            “It sounds nice out.” I gingerly stepped out of the bed and tested my feet on the floor. It felt good, not perfect but the therapist had told me my strength would come back as I exercised. With careful precision I took my cane and moved over to the window to stand beside Nic. I hadn’t realized how much taller I was standing. Most of our relationship that far had been me laying in bed. I sat down on the window ledge and smiled. The little girl and her father were still there, this time he was pushing her on a swing while she sang a silly song. I’d always wanted a daughter.

            “So, where should we go first?” I startled Nic by asking the question that had been popping around in my mind for some time. After our passionate night I had made a promise that we would stick together, for as long as we could.

            “I don’t know, where would you like to go?” He rested his head on my lap and I gazed out the window.

            “Back to school,” I smoother the fine strands of his hair. “I always wanted to go to college and now I think I am actually capable of making it happen.” I felt giddy thinking about my future, what we would do, the places we would see. “Isn’t there some place you’d like to see...what about Ireland? You said you wanted to visit there”

            His arms wrapped my waist in their comfortable embrace and the chill sent a shiver up my spine. “Ireland, yeah...let’s go there. I want to kiss the Blarney stone...do you think anything happens when you do that? Do you believe in all that stuff?”

            I looked down at him in mock seriousness, “Nah, of course not....superstitions are complete nonsense.”

            “Well, come on then.”  Nic took his head off my lap and I smoothed the wisps of his hair. “We’ve got to get you presentable for your big day. We’re leaving!”

            I stood and with Nic’s help got myself ready for the day. It felt great to be leaving, I wondered out loud what we should do first.

            “I have been craving a decent burger for two months! I know a great place on the edge of town, we’re going there tonight.” Nic quipped

            “Nic, you don’t eat.” I shook my head at him.

“Yeah but I think I can still smell....ohh it’s going to be wonderful. Maybe we can drive by my folks house, I’d love to see how they’re doing.” he trailed off thinking of his family. I didn’t have anyone that I could visit, no one who would care about what I had just lived through. The realization was like a slap in the face. I wasn’t close to any of my foster families, the few friends I had made in school were all far away and busy with their lives. Once I started thinking about it, the idea of starting out on my own again seemed incredibly huge. I only had a small amount of savings that would get me a weeks stay at a hotel. My knees gave out and I plopped onto the couch.

            Nic appeared in front of me and shook my shoulders gently “Hey, snap out of it” His smile was mocking, “it’s not like you’re stuck in a wheel chair for the rest of your life.”

            I laughed, and tried to compose myself. He was right, I was just dwelling on the negative again. I used the tricks he had taught me and put those depressed feelings in their place. “I suppose I’ll have to stay somewhere and find a job.”

            “And,?” he prompted.

            “And...I don’t know.” My hands fidgeted with the cane. Could I really dream big, what would happen if it didn’t work? “And...I’ll take some classes online.” The idea of seriously going back to school, not just a wild fantasy...a reality,  had just made my day a whole lot brighter. With Nic’s help I felt invincible.

            “That’s my girl!” he pulled me up to stand next to him. “Now, let’s go out there and show them what you can do.”

            I took my cane and slowly made my way out to the exercise arena. This was going to be a fantastic day.

            The exercises weren’t as difficult, it was all review from what I’d been taught in the last few weeks. I still had a long way to recover fully but from the therapist’s view it was all stuff I could manage on my own. We stopped our practice around noon and all my therapists gathered together to give me a nice send off. There were hugs and tears (mine of course) and another t-shirt, this one read “Pick yourself up, Dust yourself off, Start all over again.” Nic beamed at me from around the others. He looked sincerely proud.

            After everyone had gone back to work I slipped away with Nic to finish packing. I didn’t have much, a few shirts and pants rescued from my car along with a couple of novels I had been reading. It wasn’t long before everything was completely finished. I stood looking at the room, it had been such a long time since I was out in the real world. A sudden fear washed over me. What if I couldn’t handle it? What if all my new strength wouldn’t last?

            Nic’s cool hand slid over mine and I looked down at him. He grinned devilishly.

            “Seriously? Could you get any taller....lets get out of here already.” he spun around and suddenly I felt him tense beside me. I turned to look. Dr. Gannushkin stood in the doorway with Father Phillip scanning the room from behind her.

            “Good afternoon, Samantha.” Her smile was kind but it made my stomach flinch.

            “What do you want?” I thought for a split second about body checking her and making a run for it but my leg wasn’t ready for that.

            “I’m here for our last evaluation.” She tapped her clipboard to get my attention and showed me two pieces of paper. One was a dismissal form, the other was an admission form for a local mental hospital. My stomach lurched.

            “You can’t do this.” I whispered, she was unaffected by my words. The both of them moved into the room.

            “Yes, I can Samantha. Please understand, we are doing this for your own good. You believe that what you hear and interact with is some kind of spirit. Well, that’s just not true and after Father Phillip performs his ceremony your mind will automatically erase this harmful delusion. Your mind will be free from it.” She made it sound like such a good thing, but there was something wrong with it all.

            “You said I was the only one who could hear him, but last time you were here Father Phillip reacted to Nic...I saw him. He flinched and stared right at him. If this is all in my head why can he hear him too?” I slowly backed into the room, hoping to put some distance between us. Nic retreated to the window.

            “Samantha,” Father Phillip reached into the room and put a hand on my shoulder. I hadn’t realized how tall he was, straight on I was only looking at the little white square of his collar. I began to wonder how real that was...could he have just picked that up at some religious outlet store? Maybe he wasn’t even a real priest. “Dr. Gannushkin is right. This is entirely in your head, once I have performed the exorcism nothing will happen to you, in fact you will not notice anything different except the absence of the voice you think you can hear.”