Dying For A Chance (3 page)

            It certainly wasn't Burnt Out lady, she was much too gristly and I'm entirely certain if she pursed her lips all that would come out would be the dry dusty air. No, it was a mischievous tune. My prankster! He had come back to taunt me at the wrong time, I was ready for him. During the week he had been missing I had saved up some ketchup packets from my lunches and hidden them away in a little bedside drawer. Now that my chance was at hand I discreetly crept one hand over to the drawer.

            I felt her shifting uncomfortably on her seat while she prepared to bring me back to the land of the sighted. What could she be waiting for? I sat there, fingers poised on the ketchup packets at the ready. I had no way of knowing how closely my prankster would be watching me. He might have already noticed the tomato bombs I had snuck into my hand. Burnt Out lady grumbled something and I realized that she was confused. Looking for something. She clattered through items here and there, got out of her chair and circled the room a few times.

            "Was right here, I swear it." she mumbled quietly. "Alright then, Ms. Tern. I have to grab another pair of scissors. I'll be just a moment." her footsteps pattered out the doorway.

            I strained to hear any noise, any whisper of motion that would let me know my secret foe was sneaking around the room. Nothing. Not a breeze. I exhaled sharply, apparently he had given up the game and left when he realized I wasn't going to be surprised this time.

            "I thought she would never leave!" the pranksters voice burst out. "She's such a crusty old woman."

            "Aha!" I let loose with a volley of ketchup packets and heard four satisfying splatters. My prankster's laughter exploded with each hit. "That's for making me think I'm going crazy."

            Now, don't misunderstand me, I am not normally a vindictive person. Temper, yes. Vindictive, no. You'll have to agree that my actions were provoked, it was entirely his fault. Though, looking back on it, I would have saved myself a whole lot of trouble if I had held my temper.

            "Ms. Tern?" Burnt Out lady called from the doorway.

            "Oh!" I had no idea she had walked in. "I am so sorry about the mess..." I had no idea what to say. How could I explain that I had splattered this poor man out of self defense, it would sound crazy. I could tell she already thought I was insane so I figured I would fess up anyway.

            "You see, he's been pestering me for a while now and I thought I would get him back. It's a harmless joke, I'm sorry we made a mess..." I trailed off waiting for my accomplice to jump in and help me out.

            "I see. Please excuse me Ms. Tern. I ahh, I forgot something else. I'll be right back." she made her way out and quietly shut the heavy door behind her. What a strange old woman.

            "Thanks for the help by the way. I could have used a little back up." I set my fists on my hips and tried for a sincerely grim expression; rumpled gown, head gauze and all.

            "That's alright, I wouldn't be much help." his mocking tone sounded a little sad. "Why doesn't anyone come to visit you?"

            His question caught me entirely off guard. I flopped back onto the bed and reached for a drink. I only fumbled once trying to get the straw to my lips, I'd gotten better in the weeks of solitude. How much should I tell him? Why should I tell him anything? I didn't want to let him know anything in fact. I didn't want him to think of me any differently, I liked our mutual peskiness. I decided to lie.

            "I'm not from Tulsa. My family is all from Chicago and they're too busy to make the trip." I hoped he would drop it. "So, where are you from? You never answered my question, if you're not a nurse then who are you? Some kind of hospital liaison sent to cheer people up...or annoy them?" He didn't even pause to consider so I knew he wasn't lying.

            "I'm from Tulsa, in fact I lived not far from the hospital. I don't have a job. Not yet anyway, I was planning on attending Illinois State in the Fall." Aha, so he was as young as he sounded. I groaned. Just what I needed, some post teen kid hanging around. He must have understood what I was thinking and he laughed.

            "You really are dramatic aren't you?" I felt the pressure of him sit at the end of the bed. For the first time since hearing his laugh, I felt self conscious about him seeing me. I had no idea what he looked like. Who was this kid that wanted to hang around some tragic car wreck? Was he king of the Gothic weirdos? A cold hand pushed my hair back away from the bandage over my eyes.

            "After trying to hit me with ketchup you get all quiet and shy" his voice sounded sweet and concerned. "Sam, I know about your family. I heard the nurses talking."

            I held my breath. What was I supposed to say? He had caught me in a lie, a big one and I hardly knew him.

            "It's no big deal." also a lie. I figured he couldn't have known everything, but still I was curious to know what it was that he did know. "What did they say?" I tried to ask it casually, like I really didn't care, while shifting over a few inches to create some distance between us. The last thing I needed was a kid who didn't know boundaries. I was probably ten years older than him.

            "The crusty old crab woman had to look up your family just in case you didn't make it through surgery. She was way too eager to spread it around for all the other nurses." he sounded suddenly like he wasn't sure that I really wanted to know.

            "What's your name?" I asked him confidently. Now was the time to start building back those boundaries. I was the adult and he was the kid.

            "Nic."

            "Well Nic, I'm a big girl. Thanks for your concern but whatever the nurses had to say about me isn't going to hurt my feelings or make me turn into a blubbery mess. I'm over it. I just want to know what they said, to make sure they're at least spreading the truth." There, that sounded very adult.

            "Alright, I don't think you're going to like it though." he wound up. "So, the crusty crab lady was telling all the other nurses that your parents were some kind of addicts. That when you were three years old they left you at a park after buying some meth around midnight. They never came back for you and you spent two days there before anyone noticed. The State found your folks and put you into the foster system." I felt each of those moments as he told them. Not in the painful kind of way that I used to feel when it came back but it still created a twinge of discomfort. "So, you spent the rest of your time floating around with different families."

            He paused for a moment. "Why?" I turned my head to him.

            "Why, what?" why were my folks junkies? Why did they leave me? All those were things I didn't have answers to.

            "Why didn't you get to stay with just one family?" his genuine concern softened my stiffness

            "Oh," his question was surprising. "Well, it's not a big mystery. I wasn't any kind of psycho kid and they weren't beating me or anything. It just never worked out for long, either they ran out of money to care for all the kids they had or the mom would get pregnant and they would decide that they couldn't take on me plus one of their own. Pick an answer, there were plenty of them. It's ok though, I'm over it." Man, I was full of lies.

            The heavy door swung open with a loud thump and I jumped. I hadn't realized that I'd been leaning in closer and closer to my new friend, the coolness of his presence felt good on my hot face.

"Good Morning Samantha," Dr. Swaresh's voice chimed from the doorway. "Today's the day we get to take off those bandages. Are you excited?"

            I nodded my head to emphasize my feelings. "Yes, very." The Dr. swept around the room collecting things, I had no idea how many tools they were going to need. The commotion and excitement was contagious and I found myself getting really nervous.

            "Don't do it." The prankster's voice didn't sound as mocking as it had earlier.

            "What?"

            "Tell them you're too weak. Tell them you need time to process, tell them to wait, just another day." he was nearly pleading.

            "What are you talking about? Why?" I began to get annoyed with his insistence.

            "Samantha?" Dr. Swaresh's concerned velvet voice wrapped around me and pulled me back

            "Yes, Dr.?"

            "I apologize that we've had to keep your eyes wrapped for so long." he sat on the bed, at about the same spot my prankster had been. "The loss of ones sight can sometimes play tricks on you. I'd like to remove the bandages today so you can get back to believing in the things you can see." he must have been smiling because I heard it in his voice. I couldn't wait to see him, my heart made a little flutter.

            "Oh come on!" the prankster's voice had returned to mock me. My cheeks burned pink with embarrassment.

            “I am so sorry about my friend...actually, he's more of a personal annoyance.” I glared around the room hoping he would catch my death stare through the gauze wrappings.

            “Samantha, this could come as a bit of a shock to you. Close your eyes until I remove all the gauze and just open them slowly as you adjust.” The Dr.'s warm hands pressed around my head while I heard the snip of scissors. I could smell his cologne, something musky that made me think of fishing and camping. I'd never done either of those things but if I had I assumed it would smell like the Dr.'s cologne.

            The first thing I noticed was the light. The whole world was lit with 500watt halogens. The second thing I noticed were the furry looking figures perched around my bed. Enormous Sasquatch hovered above me, I shuddered at the scary creatures and pulled myself low into the bed. My eyes blurred and teared up which made them blink several times, they cleared and slowly the figures lost their furry appearance. A few women in medical scrub uniforms busied themselves around the room, cleaning equipment and clearing tables. Some turned to smile at me. One older looking woman with a severe looking grey braid down her back didn't look at all. Someone loomed into view and I blinked hard to focus.

            A man's smiling face greeted me. He was dark and just as gorgeous as I had pictured in my mind, soft lips and deep eyes which held so much intelligence. His cocoa skin looked smooth and I instantly wanted to touch his cheeks.

            “My name, is Dr. Rajin Swaresh. Please call me Raj. It's nice to finally meet you Samantha.” His warm fingers embraced mine and I could feel a tingle creep up my spine. I let out a little sigh of contentment.

            “H-hello.” I smoothed my hair. Not that it was going to help the 4 week bed head I was sporting. “Nice to meet you too.” my blush was crimson all the way up to my short mouse brown hair. Probably my least favorite personal feature. Mouse brown hair. At least it had some wave. I pulled one of the strands nervously.

            “Let me explain to you what our next few days are going to look like now that you are properly on the mend. We want to consider all options for the damage at your back as soon as possible...” Dr. Swaresh went on to explain all the complicated medical jargon and his personally designed treatment plan for my recovery. Wasn't that sweet? While he was doing that, I was taking the opportunity to soak in everything I hadn't gotten a chance to see before. His sensible white coat stretched over a muscular frame within a snug button up shirt. While he discussed various important things that I had no interest in knowing anything about, I watched his mouth move around his almost perfectly white teeth, framed by just the right amount of discreetly groomed beard.

            “Jeez. Should we leave you two alone?” Nic's mocking voice slapped me out of my delirium.  I had been three fourths of the way undressing the doctor with my eyes when Nic's voice brought me back to reality. I swiveled my head around the room to find him. This kid was finally going to get a piece of my mind.

            But, I couldn't catch sight of him. I leaned back and forth looking everywhere. The Dr. kept talking about different treatment options, something about my leg, but I was consumed with finding Nic. Was he hiding behind the curtains? Then, as my eyes made a second pass across the window I caught movement. Very hazy at first, it was like he was made of light. His form separated gradually from the rays of sun.