Dying Light (18 page)

I stay out of his reach.
Do I want to comprehend what I must do? No. Not really. I want to
be eating an ice cream sundae and watching reruns of
Dead Like Me
. How did I
get here? What the hell am I doing with my life?

“
Ugh. Fine. Show me
whatever.”

Gabriel stretches his wings out to
envelop me once more. In the darkness, he places a finger on each
of my temples.

The visions come again.

The Earth began beautiful and
pristine, with its blue skies and cool waters. I watch it turn
black. Green land becomes a landfill. Blue skies fill up with gray
smog. Thousands of animals running through open plains fall dead,
laying scorched in charred forests.

Make a new world, or there
won’t be one.

That is the
choice.

“
And what will happen if I
don’t?” I look up and see his green eyes glowing in the dark. “What
happens if I refuse to explode?”

Gabriel opens his wings to reveal
another world. This place is the apocalypse—there’s no other word
for it. The world burns. Buildings are in ruin, remnants of
concrete crumbling in a gaseous backdrop the color of cinnamon and
amber, reduced to monotones in their degradation. To my right, the
body of a woman sits bent over, her hands over her head, frozen
forever as a statue of ash.

I recognize the ears, the fingers, and
the curve of the jaw.

Ally.

I reach out to touch her ashes and
they disintegrate under the lightest pressure.

“
No.” I step back. “What
you’re asking is impossible. I can’t do this.”

His wings stretch wide.
His eyes grow brighter. “Wake up now, Jesse.
Wake
up
.”

Ally

I
turn around twice, but see no one. People shuffle along the
street as if completely unaware of anything that just took
place.

“
She’s gone,” I say. It’s
a horrific declaration that shreds my insides. “He’s probably
cutting her head off right now.”

I sink to my knees and cover my head
with my hands. I pull at my hair until I feel some of the tension
release, and I draw deep unsteady breaths.

“
We don’t know that.”
Nikki places a hand on my back. I shrug her off.

Dead
, dead. I’m never going to see her again. Or if I do, it will
only be because Caldwell will want me to see what he’s done to her.
He’ll relish in my pain.

“
Hey.” Nikki kneels down
beside me. “Just breathe, baby. Be positive.”

“
Be positive?” I throw my
head back and laugh. “You saw the knife. You saw what he was trying
to do. We distracted him for seconds at best.”

I press my palms to my eyes and they
come away wet. I try to blink back the tears and pull myself
together, but I can’t even see the sidewalk beneath me; the
pavement is blurry.

“
She’s not dead,” Gloria
says.

I lift my head to look at her. “How
can you be sure?”

She motions for us to follow her down
the sidewalk. “There’s one more thing that has to
happen.”

“
But you were the one who
screamed
no
. You
looked convinced he was going to kill her.” I wanted to point out
that it was her reaction more than anything that had sent me into a
panic.

“
I wanted to slow him
down.” She searches the surrounding street and frowns. “We need to
get moving.”

We march away from the scene of the
crime. I cast one look over my shoulder at the black circle of
evidence we’re leaving behind and hope that we can benefit from
Caldwell’s deceptions this once.

“
What’s going to happen to
her now that she absorbed his power?”

“
The more power she has,
the less stable she’ll be.” Gloria looks both ways and then
jaywalks across the street. A taxi honks and she flips him the
bird. “This is the first time she’s absorbed someone else’s power.
I suspect she’ll need time to adjust.”

“
We should go back to Tate
Tower,” Nikki says behind me. “We still have time before the
so-called explosion.”

Gloria stops walking and turns toward
her. “If you want to go back, that’s fine. We aren’t going
back.”

“
With all due respect—”
Nikki’s voice is steady and placating. “Jeremiah needs to know that
Jason has been eliminated. He should reallocate those resources to
better use.”

Gloria squares her shoulders. “Call
him now and tell him.”

Nikki pushes the earbud in her ear,
holding it down until it glows blue.

“
Tamsin here. Jason has
been eliminated. Reallocate resources.” She listens for a moment.
“Understood.”

Gloria shifts her weight. “What did he
say?”

“
He’s working on the
evacuation. He’s also doing damage control. Caldwell missed a few
minds I guess, but Jeremiah said he’d make sure we aren’t
implicated in anything.”

Gloria’s shoulders inch down away from
her ears. “Good, because we have work to do.”

Jesse

I
wake to strange purple light shining in my eyes. I blink and
rub my lids, but the light is still unbearable.

“
Gee-
zus
.” I try to sit up, using my
hands to shield myself from the godawful light. “Can we get a
dimmer switch in here or something?”

“
It’s your shield,”
Caldwell says.

I peek through my fingers and find him
sitting in a chair on the opposite side of the room. He’s the
picture of composure. His eyes are downturned. He runs one
fingernail under another, scrapping out something beneath. His legs
are crossed and he clasps one knee with his hand. It’s the lip curl
that gives him away.

“
You control your shield,
don’t you? If you don’t like how bright it is, tone it
down.”

Gabriel?

The shield dims but doesn’t fade
completely. A lighter purple sheen continues to throb around
me.

“
Why is it so
bright?”

“
Your original power gets
stronger with every ability you absorb. The power I have now with
four gifts is exponentially more than what it was when I first left
the camp.”

“
So my shield is
stronger?”

“
And your fire, I suspect.
Try not to incinerate us.”

I look around the room and realize
it’s not The Needle. This room has a door, first of all, and it’s
square.

“
Where are we?”

“
You’re in the Unified
Church compound. I can’t take you back to The Needle in your
current state. It isn’t safe.”

“
What about my
dog?”

Caldwell gives me a look, not unlike
if I’d just spit on his shoes. “He remains unharmed.”

For how long?

“
How do you feel?” he asks
me.

I examine my arms and legs. The
blisters I had from Jason have healed. My skin is smooth, flawless.
Well, unless you count the gross, crusty stuff on my hand and under
my nails, which I’m pretty sure is brain. But no scratches. Hell.
No bruises even.

“
It’s your fault I got his
power. I wasn’t going to touch him. So why are you being pissy
about it?”

Caldwell’s eyes cloud over. “What did
your angel show you?”

“
A bunch of gibberish.
Why?”

“
Think
.” Caldwell hisses. “Can you remember any specific
images?”

Like all dreams, Gabriel’s visions are
rushing away from me, dissolving in deep water.

“
It was just more crap
about how I’m going to go all super nova.”

“
Did he explain the Big
Bang? Did he show you that this won’t be the first, or the last
such explosion? They occur all over space and time and will
continue to occur
forever.
Once a species develops consciousness, then the
rebirth is made possible. Consciousness is one of the primary
elements of a universe, yet it’s more than that. The apex’s
responsibility falls to the most destructive of species. Elephants
for example, are highly intelligent. But they aren’t being asked to
die and give new life to our corner of the universe.”

“
So it’s punishment?” I
ask. “For being dicks.”

“
There are twelve partis
who house this power, and so it will be until there is one—the
apex.”

Here we go with The
Highlander shit again.

“
And the apex will become
one with the Thirteenth element—”

“
Whoa, what? Did you
say
become one
?”

“
Yes.” Caldwell blinks.
“Join together.”

“
No, no, no. I haven’t
accepted the idea that I’m going to die no matter what. Now you’re
telling me that I have to
become
one
with an angel?” I pull at my face.
“You’re talking about sex, right? I only know one way to
become one
.”

“
The interpretation is
unclear.”

I rub my eyes. “God, I hope
so.”

“
But you would join.
Intimately.”

“
Ew. Just stop. You’re
making me sick,” I say, pinching the bridge of my nose. This does
nothing to alleviate the pressure building there.

Caldwell stands, running a palm down
the front of each pants leg. “I have to go.”

“
Fine, let’s go.” I stand
and feel a tug on my arm. My right forearm is shackled to the bed.
“Oh god, no. Not this again. We’ve done the shackled to the bed
bit. It never ends well.”

“
It’s for your own
good.”

“
Said every abuser
ever.”

“
I’ve been gone for too
long. I need to attend to my affairs, but I can’t have you running
around until we are sure you can handle the extra
power.”

“
Don’t pretend like you’re
doing this for me. You’re still trying to figure out how to use and
manipulate me.”

He doesn’t gratify me with an answer.
Instead, he goes to the door and throws it open. He casts one last
look at me from the frame. “Stay out of trouble.”

Don’t count on
it.

Gabriel appears in the small room,
looking around him as if expecting to find someone else.

“
Thank god,” I
whine.

“
It is difficult to
penetrate the magnetic field when you are close to one another,” he
says again.

“
Yeah, I still don’t know
what that means. Can you get me out of here?”

“
I cannot open
locks.”

“
You better. Not only are
you going to kill me, but you’re going to try to get sexy with me
first? You’re in so much trouble. That’s
entrapment
. They have lawsuits
against this sort of thing.”

“
I have never lied to
you.”

“
That’s what a liar would
say.”

I search every remembered
conversation that Gabriel and I ever had. Some of it suggests maybe
this is where it is going.
Be human while
you still can. I’ll be everything you need.

Then there was that time that he
actually touched me, took my hand, and tucked it into the suit
jacket so I could feel his lack of heartbeat.

“
Man.” I fall back onto
the bed. “I should’ve seen this coming.”

Gabriel kneels in front of me, placing
one hand on the thin mattress cot beside me. He looks at me with
upturned eyes.

“
Oh
no
.” My voice climbs toward
hysteria. “Don’t start giving me bedroom eyes.”

“
I want you to be happy.
It is easier for both of us, if you are happy.”

“
You want me to be happy?”
My voice spikes. “For starters, never give me sexy looks again. I
can’t have an invisible boyfriend! Then once your chastity belt is
on good and tight, get me out of here. Give me Winston. Make
Caldwell stop being a homicidal maniac and killing people so I can
go live somewhere boring and normal with Ally. “

“
You want to be with
Ally.”

Yes
, I almost blurt it. For some reason, I bite my
tongue.

“
She is the companion you
wish for most?”

“
I feel like this is a
trick. If I say yes, are you going to kill her and stuff her in the
apex or something?”

His brow pinches in confusion.
“No.”

“
Because I don’t want her
involved in the sexy-world-blowing-up whatever.”

“
She is already
involved.”

“
Wait, whoa. What? What
are you saying? Are you saying you’re going to kill her? That
is
not
okay
. If I get to pick the new
world, I’ll pick one where she is alive and happy. Got
it?”