Authors: Rosanne Bittner
Little Eagle’s lips puckered, and he looked back at Hawk. “Will you stay with us, my brother, if my father goes away? I don’t want you to go away, too.”
Hawk looked at Sweet Bird, his gaze falling to her full breasts, the nipples taut from the cold water. She seemed only then to realize she was still naked. She drew in her breath and hurried away to find her tunic. The man in Hawk could not help noticing how firm and slender her bottom and thighs were, her skin like soft brown velvet. He grimaced with awkwardness and guilt, then looked back at Little Eagle. “I won’t leave you,” he said.
The boy sniffed. “I like you. Father says I should be with you if anything ever happens to him.”
Again the anger returned. “He did, did he?”
The boy nodded, then threw his arms around Hawk’s neck. “Thank you for getting me out of the water.”
Hawk hugged him tightly, watching Sweet Bird drop her tunic over her head and cover herself. “Everything will be all right,” he told Little Eagle. He left the boy, kissing his hair before rising, and walked over to Sweet
Bird, grasping her arms. “I know what my father is up to,” he told her. “And I don’t like it. You are my father’s
wife
, damn it!”
Her eyes teared, and she touched his chest. “Do not be angry with Wolf’s Blood. It is the Indian way.” She hung her head. “He wants only to be sure the children and I are cared for. He can think of no one else he would want to be a true father to them save you. As for me, you do not have to … It is not necessary that you love me … that way. I will not be a burden to you. You will always be free to marry whomever you choose, as long as she would love my Little Eagle and Laughing Turtle and be good to them. If you do not find me desirable, it is not necessary—”
“
Desirable?
Of
course
I find you desirable, damn it!”
He squeezed her arms until they began to hurt. She looked up at him, a little surprised, sure he did not want her that way. She felt the same confusion he did, the same guilt, the same love for Wolf’s Blood. “It is not wrong. It would make him very happy. You talk to him, Hawk. You need to talk about it.”
“You
bet
we’re going to talk about it!”
“You will not have him long, Hawk. Do not be angry. It is not easy for him to do this. Surely you know that. It only shows how much he loves me and our children.”
Hawk closed his eyes and sighed, pulling her into his arms. “I know.” He felt her tremble, knew she could no longer hold back the tears.
“I love him so,” she wept, “but I always knew … I would not grow old with him.”
Hawk stroked her damp hair. “I’ll be here for you, Sweet Bird. I don’t know how it will all work out, but we’ll just take one day at a time. This is all so awkward. I don’t quite know what to do, how to feel. My own heart is hurting over someone else.”
She looked up at him, tears on her cheeks. “We both
know what it is to love someone and lose them. My own people have all died off, and you have seen much loss in your own life. I admire your strength and courage, Hawk. You are very much like your father, also a warrior, but in a different way. You can teach his children a new way, but help them to still be proud to be Indian. That is all Wolf’s Blood wants of you.”
She felt good in his arms, and suddenly he could not stop himself from leaning down to kiss her full lips. She was so sad, so lonely, so beautiful. It was all there in an instant, perhaps from desperate fear, loneliness, uncertainty about what lay ahead. Both needed—wanted—something real and dependable in their lives, someone to hold and to love. She threw her arms around his neck, appreciating the feel of his strong arms around her, his virility. She already loved him because he was a part of Wolf’s Blood; being with him was like being with her husband, as she imagined he’d been when he was younger.
He left her lips, still holding her close. “My God, Sweet Bird, this isn’t right.” He let go of her, gently pushing her away.
“It
is
right,” she answered, capturing his gaze. “It is your father’s greatest wish. But as long as he is alive, I will always belong to him. We both honor him and love him, and now we understand that perhaps we can honor him in the way he most hopes to be honored when he is gone. Until then, he is my husband, and your father, and it can be no other way. We have discovered something here today, and it is a wonderful thing. It is not wrong.”
She turned away, walking over to pick up Laughing Turtle. She dressed the girl, saying nothing more. Little Eagle pulled on his clothes, still seeming a little dazed and confused. Hawk lifted the boy onto his own horse, helped his mother and sister onto theirs. When
he climbed up behind Little Eagle, the boy turned so that he sat backward. That way he could put his arms around Hawk and hug him all the way home.
“Will you come with us to Cheyenne if I am sent there?” Wolf’s Blood sat in a wicker chair on the porch of Margaret’s house. Because of the heat he wore only deerskin pants and a vest, a pair of old moccasins on his otherwise-bare feet. His hair, a streak of gray at one side, hung loose, a beaded hairpiece sporting an eagle feather tied into one side of it. He studied his brother Jeremy, who had put on a little weight but still seemed to be quite healthy.
Jeremy wore neatly pressed cotton pants with suspenders, and the sleeves of his starched white shirt were rolled to his elbows. He sat in the porch swing, looking at Wolf’s Blood, feeling sick inside because of all the years they’d missed being together. “You know I will.”
Wolf’s Blood nodded. “I feel the same as you do. It is sad that for many years we never understood each other. It was good to talk to you when we had that reunion twelve years ago. But for what happened in Cheyenne, I would have liked to spend more time with you.” He grinned. “I have never even seen your grand house in Denver.”
Jeremy sighed. “That’s not important. What was important was that we see more of each other, but those bastards who shot Jennifer cheated us out of that.” He sighed. “I’m glad you found a halfway decent life up
in Canada. Sweet Bird is beautiful, and her name fits her. She’s very sweet, and slender and wispy as a bird.”
Wolf’s Blood grinned. “She and our children keep an old man like me very busy. I can no longer keep up with them.”
Jeremy wiped at the sweat on his brow with the back of his hand. “Well, I’m hoping things work out when you go to Denver. But if …” He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “If something happens to you, you know I’ll do my part in taking care of those children. Between me and Margaret—and mother and everybody—they’ll want for nothing.”
A gust of hot wind ruffled Wolf’s Blood’s hair, and Jeremy glanced at him curiously, sure he’d heard a distant drumming.
“I cannot tell you how grateful I am for what you did for Hawk and Iris,” Wolf’s Blood told him. “But my new family … I am hoping Hawk will take care of them. He always said he intends to one day work at a reservation, represent Indians in their cases against the government. On a reservation, Sweet Bird would feel more at home, and my children would grow up with their own kind, yet they would have Hawk showing them how to survive in the white man’s world. Sweet Bird would not be happy in a place like Denver, and here at the ranch, in this part of Colorado, there are no Indians. She is
all
Indian, and she needs to be near her own kind.”
Jeremy nodded. “You always needed to be near them, too.” He met his brother’s gaze. “Just as Zeke did.”
“It was as natural for me as breathing, like going the way you chose was natural for you.”
Jeremy stood up, walking over to lean on the porch railing and stare out at the rolling hills beyond the barns. “I feel I can never make up enough for hating you as I did, abandoning the family for so many years.”
Wolf’s Blood watched the hills himself … wondering. It was nearly lunchtime, and Hawk and Sweet Bird had not yet returned. “You have more than made up for that. I was not such a good brother myself. I blamed you for things I did not understand. That is long in the past now. Look at the way you have taken care of my children, helped Margaret over the years, helped Mother, young Zeke; you are a good man, Jeremy.”
Jeremy shrugged, a little embarrassed. He straightened, folding his arms. “How about that Zeke? Hell, he’s richer than I am, but investing in his gold mine has made me richer, too. Can you believe his stroke of luck? The best part is, the Browns and Monroes own one hundred thousand acres of land, most of it where the Cheyenne spent their winters when they were free to migrate.”
“
Hinta Nagi
, the Ghost Timbers,” Wolf’s Blood replied with a grin. “I remember when our uncle, Swift Arrow, would come there with a whole tribe, and Mother and Father would join them. That was when Zeke’s brothers, Red Eagle and Black Elk, were still alive. Those were good times! Good times!” His smile faded, and he held Jeremy’s gaze. “I want you with me, Jeremy, whatever happens. I had a dream …” He rose, wincing at the pain in his knees. “I will not say what it was. I can only say it is important that you are with me. Will you be able to leave Denver if you have to?”
“Of course I can. I’m just glad as hell I’ve been able to see you again.” Jeremy felt a little uneasy. What was the dream his brother had had? One thing he knew, dreams were very important to the Cheyenne. They could predict the future, and were often right. Before he managed to question his brother further, Margaret appeared at the door.
“Lunch is ready. Meals are beginning to be quite a chore around here, one big table in the kitchen for all
the children, another big table in the dining room for all the adults. If it were not for Mother’s help and that of my sisters-in-law and daughters-in-law, we could never keep all these mouths fed in one sitting. You two get in here now and eat.” She put her hands on her hips. “By the way. Where are Hawk and Sweet Bird?”
“I think they’re coming now,” Jeremy answered, watching the hills again.
“Well, at least they are not lost,” Wolf’s Blood commented, a sly look in his eyes. He glanced at Margaret; he knew she suspected what he was up to. She gave him a chastising look and left the doorway. “I will wait for them,” Wolf’s Blood told Jeremy.
Jeremy turned and grasped his shoulder. “Don’t take too long or there might not be any food left.”
“The way my sister cooks? She probably made enough for fifty people.”
Jeremy grinned. “The way this family is growing, that might not be such a stretch.” He went inside, and Wolf’s Blood watched the little group approach, noticing Hawk’s pants looked wet, and Sweet Bird’s hair had been wet and had dried in stringy, unbrushed layers. Little Eagle was riding facing Hawk, his arms and legs wrapped around his big brother.
Wolf’s Blood frowned, walking down the steps to greet them when they rode up to the house.
“Father!” Little Eagle said, letting go of Hawk and reaching for Wolf’s Blood. “I almost drowned! Hawk saved me!”
“Is that so?” Wolf’s Blood lifted him down, ignoring the pain in his arms and shoulders. “Look at you! You have a cut on your head. How did this happen?”
“We went swimming,” the boy answered, as his father set him on his feet. “It was hot, and Hawk took us to a place where he said he swam when he was little. Do you know where it is?”
Wolf’s Blood grinned. “I know of it. I took Hawk there myself once. Hawk’s mother liked to go there.” He thought how most Indian women liked to swim naked, and he glanced at Sweet Bird. “I see you went swimming also.”
She handed Laughing Turtle to Hawk, their gazes holding for a moment before she slipped down from her horse. “More of a dunk than a swim. It felt good to get wet,” she told her husband. “Little Eagle was playing by a log, and it slipped. It cut his head and he went under. Hawk pulled him out. It was so terrible! I thought we had lost our son.” She embraced Wolf’s Blood. “Thank goodness Hawk found him quickly. The pond was deeper than he remembered.” She turned and knelt in front of Little Eagle, stroking his hair. “Hawk got him to cough up most of the water, but I think he should rest this afternoon. Do not eat too much when you go inside, Little Eagle. It might not be good to fill your belly right now. Eat only a little, and then go upstairs and lie down.”
“I will, Mama.” The boy looked up at his father. “Mother and Hawk were glad I was okay. They were so happy, they kissed each other,” he said innocently.
Wolf’s Blood met Sweet Bird’s eyes, and she quickly looked away. He glanced at Hawk, who turned from the hitching post to cast his father an angry look.
“You and I have to talk,” he told Wolf’s Blood boldly. “Right now! Forget about lunch.”
Wolf’s Blood’s eyebrows arched, and he was inwardly amused at his son’s obvious frustration. He struggled with his jealousy, yet secretly rejoiced to know there truly was an attraction between Sweet Bird and Hawk. “That is fine with me. We will go to the barn, where no one will hear us.” He looked at Sweet Bird, touching her arm. “Do not look away from me. It is not necessary.” She met his eyes, and he saw tears in hers.
“I love you more than my own life,” she told him.
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. “I have no doubt of that. Take the children inside and tell the others Hawk and I will come later.”
Sweet Bird turned away and chased after Laughing Turtle, picking her up and carrying her into the house, where Little Eagle had already gone to tell the others about his mishap. Wolf’s Blood looked at his son, who still stood at a distance, watching him sullenly. “Untie the horses. We will take them to the barn with us.”
Hawk obeyed, handing his father the reins to Sweet Bird’s horse. It pained him to see how much slower Wolf’s Blood walked now. He said nothing until they reached the barn; then his anger showed in the way he jerked the saddles and blankets off the horses. Wolf’s Blood only watched silently as Hawk slapped the horses on their rumps and put each into a stall. “They need to be brushed down, but I’ll have to do it later,” he said. He turned then, facing Wolf’s Blood and folding his arms. “What the hell are you up to? I am not
blind
, Father! You’ve been getting me and Sweet Bird together for a week! Sweet Bird is your
wife
, not a piece of property! I
respect
her as your wife, the woman who loves my father and gave him two children!”
“Of course you do. I would not want my wife to go with any man who did
not
honor her. And I honor
you
above all men.” Wolf’s Blood held his chin proudly. “I am Indian, and
you
are Indian. The Indian way is for a man’s wife to be taken care of by a relative when he dies, usually a brother. I have no brothers Indian enough to take this duty upon themselves. Jeremy is too white in his thinking, and Jason also is, even though he is himself married to an Indian woman. Your own grandmother went to Zeke’s brother Swift Arrow after Zeke died.”
“That was years later, and it was of her own choosing!”
“And you do not think being with you would be of Sweet Bird’s choosing? Do you think I would want her to go to you unwillingly?”
Hawk threw up his hands. “I don’t know
what
you want! I saw the look in your eyes when Little Eagle told you we …” He hesitated, turning around and slamming shut a stall gate.
“Told me you kissed Sweet Bird?”
Hawk sighed, his back to him. “It just … happened. We were both relieved that Little Eagle was all right. She was crying, and I felt sorry for her.”
“You wanted her. You even wanted her five years ago when you visited us in Canada. I
also
am not blind, Hawk.”
Hawk shook his head. “I just thought she was very pretty and awfully sweet. I left thinking what a lovely woman she was. I cared about her because she cared about
you
and gave you happiness.” He turned and faced his father. “Back in Denver, I met Arianne. After her husband died we fell in love. I always thought I’d marry Indian, Father, but Arianne changed all that.”
Wolf’s Blood nodded slowly. “And then she left you, because
you
were Indian! Some white women cannot rise above that, no matter how much they love a man. Did that hurt not tell you something? Some people simply belong with their own kind, and you are one of them. Whether it is Sweet Bird or not, you will marry Indian. When you go to a reservation,
that
is where you will find the woman you love. All I am asking of you is to take Sweet Bird and my children with you, where they can live among their own kind. But I want you to always remain an influence in their lives, to teach them how to survive in this new world. And I want you to watch over Sweet Bird. Make sure she marries a man
who will be good to her, not a drunken Indian with no job and no hope! That is all I want, Hawk. I need to know my family will be taken care of and that Sweet Bird will be happy. My greatest wish is that
you
might be the man to bring her that happiness. With you she would always live well, and for her, being with you would be a little like being with me. She is still very young, still beautiful and pleasing in the night.”
Hawk rolled his eyes and turned away at the remark.
“And she can bear more children. Not only do I want
her
to be happy, Hawk, I want
you
to be happy; and I know how happy Sweet Bird can make a man, what a good wife and mother she is. You are of an age at which it is time you took a wife and had sons and daughters of your own.”
Hawk ran a hand through his hair. It felt damp from diving under the water to rescue Little Eagle. “I know that,” he answered.
“Tell me you could not love Little Eagle and Laughing Turtle as if they were your own son and daughter.”
Hawk remained turned away. “You know I could. I already do.”
“And tell me it would not be easy to love Sweet Bird.”
Hawk gritted his teeth, grasping the stall gate. “Damn it, Father, she’s your
wife!
”
“Of course she is. Do you think I would want you sleeping with her while I am still alive? I am not asking you to do something so against your honor, son, nor would Sweet Bird ever consider such a thing. I only need to know that you both have feelings that might grow into something much more precious if something happens to me. I can see that this is so, and it pleases me greatly. For now I only need to know you would always look after my family.”
Hawk hung his head, not replying right away. Finally
he faced his father. “I will always look after them. You should know you don’t need to ask it of me. As far as the other … yes, I do have feelings for Sweet Bird. Up to now I had attributed them to the fact that she is the mother of my little brother and sister—and my father’s wife. I have looked at her more as a sister than anything else. She’s certainly too young to be called my stepmother, wouldn’t you say?”
Wolf’s Blood studied him a moment, realizing his son was beginning to joke with him. The idea of Hawk calling Sweet Bird mother was indeed amusing. He smiled. “It would seem very strange.”