Earth (17 page)

Jodi had to urge me through by pushing on the
small of my back to remind me how to walk.
Good lord. Warming up
to him are we?
Jodi’s teasing thoughts swirled in my mind as I
took my seat.

“I forgot to tell you…” I whispered to her as
I pulled out my book and paper for today’s problems. “About Friday
night.”

“Oh yeah, how was dinner with Steven?” she
asked casually.

“Steven cancelled too.”

“Oh no! I’m sorry!” She sounded genuinely
upset. “So what did you do?”

“Oh, I stayed and had dinner. Grandma sat me
too fast to stop her.”

“So you ate alone? That’s fun.”

“I wasn’t alone,” I dangled the information
just like she had in French class.

I went on to explain the awkward dinner
conversation, not sparing any details because I knew she would know
if I did. Her face had grown more and more shocked as I told the
story. I eventually reached forward and put my hand under her chin
and closed her mouth for her. She swallowed loudly, blinking for
the first time in at least a minute. She shook her head as if
trying to shake out her hair and then leaned into me, eyes
narrowed.

“Are you telling me that you really told him
about our powers?” her voice was a hiss, worry and accusation
warring with her tone.

“No,” I said firmly. “I only told him about
my empathetic abilities, I didn’t tell him anything else. He told
me he knows about shields and that’s how he keeps me from reading
him and that kinda distracted him from anything else.”

“What do you mean? Distracted him from
what?”

“He asked about the parking lot thing,” I
shrugged, finishing up a problem, checking Jodi’s page to make sure
I was right. “I danced around it enough and then we got onto the
subject of my being an Empath and him knowing about shields and I
guess he must’ve forgotten that he asked about what I’d done to the
ground.” I tilted my head to the side, thinking. “Or maybe he just
gave up asking about it because I wouldn’t admit it. I stuck to our
plan.” That seemed to appease Jodi enough to relax her face.

“But how could you tell him about you being
an Empath?” she demanded quietly.

“I didn’t really, he already knew, he just
didn’t know what it was called.” I explained and then continued
quickly when she opened her mouth to protest, “Besides, it was
better than him thinking I’m some kind of monster that feeds on
people’s emotions.”

“Yeah…” she paused, thinking about that.
“Yeah, I guess that’s true. If he thought that and didn’t like it,
God knows what he’d try to do to you or say about you.”

“Exactly,” I said, finishing the last of
today’s problems. Jodi finished at the same time as me and I
grabbed both our papers to take to the teacher’s desk. Jodi smiled
weakly, but appreciatively, and then folded her arms on the desk
and put her head down.

I turned to go back and caught my breath,
nearly stumbling backward into the teacher’s desk; Jensen was
standing right behind me. His smile was such a perfect imitation of
Alice’s Cheshire cat that I expected him to tell me where the White
Rabbit had gone. I went to step around him. As I did he reached out
just a few inches to let his fingertips graze my arm where I had
pushed up the sleeves. It sent an electric shock through me and my
stomach did back flips, but, amazingly, I was able to walk smoothly
all the way back to my desk.

Most of the day was a blur to us. I was used
to having to deal with little to no sleep, but Jodi and Steven both
are the kind of jerks that could be hung on a nail and they’d fall
asleep so they had no idea how to cope. It took a lot of effort for
all of us not to fall asleep during lunch. We each had bought two
sodas and some candy bars to get through the rest of the day.
Steven was particularly quiet, sipping his soda and staring off
into space until he finally came around. “I was just thinking…” he
trailed off.

“Yeah?” Jodi prompted him.

“Well, those animal sacrifices.”

“What about them?” I asked, my voice muffled
by the collar of my sweatshirt. I looked a little like a turtle
that was only half way out of its shell, propped up against the
tree.

“Well… the first one happened Friday night,
right?” he asked, but I could tell this was leading to something he
was trying to puzzle out.

“Mm-hmm,” Jodi murmured.

“And then the second one was Saturday.”

“So?” I knew I sounded impatient, but it was
difficult enough right now to follow a conversation. I didn’t need
a recap of something I already knew.

“Well, it just occurred to me that Jensen
ditched Friday afternoon and then he had a fight with his brother
Saturday night and now Ian’s not here today.” Steven said the whole
thing in one breath, the words rushing out of him like he was
afraid to say them.

“Wait… you think… well, yeah, I guess that’s
possible,” Jodi was stammering, her eyes had gone wide showing all
the blue of her irises.

“Oh, come on!” I protested, coming out of my
fabric shell.

“Wait, Shay! Think about it,” Jodi had sat up
on her knees. “They’re new to town, he did ditch early the same day
as something happening, you heard Ian and Jensen argue,” she waved
a hand at Steven to stop him from interrupting. I realized we
hadn’t told him about my mock date with Jensen yet. “Then he and
Ian fight Saturday night, probably after the ritual was done, and
now Ian’s hurt enough not to be here. And let’s face it, Ian’s much
bigger than Jensen, Jensen shouldn’t’ve stood a chance against
him.” She had ticked each item off with her fingers like a list. I
didn’t like the sound of it.

“Of course when you say everything like that
it looks bad, but –” I started to argue.

“But what? She’s right!” Steven said, he was
standing now, pacing around the tree, and wringing his hands.

“Shay, he knows about shields and he knows
you have abilities and, after all, you and Deb kept saying not to
rule out kids,” Jodi said, her face growing dark.

“I don’t think it’s him. Don’t you think
we’d’ve felt it if it was him?” They both tried to consider that,
but I could tell they weren’t confident.

“Wait, what the hell are you talking about
that Jensen knows about your abilities!” Steven rounded on me,
anger in his face. Jodi jumped in quickly and explained everything
I had told her. I was happy and impressed that she didn’t embellish
for gossip’s sake. Steven still looked both confused and angry when
she finished.

“Wait!” I said loudly enough to make them
both jump. “C’mon we all think that we brought Ian here for Tracy,
do you really think that we would’ve brought something evil with
him?”

“Rule of three. Balance and order. Karma,”
Jodi said shaking her head. “We brought something good and it had
to be balanced.”

“No!” Now I was getting angry. They wanted me
to consider their theories but they wouldn’t consider mine. “Ian
came to balance something that was already wrong here, Nick! Nick
was evil and Ian came to restore the Karmic imbalance.”

“Maybe…” Jodi said quietly, rubbing her chin
with her hand and staring at the ground. “Or maybe we totally
screwed up…”

“What?” Steven and I asked together.

“Maybe Ian wasn’t the one we casted for,
maybe it was just a coincidence, and we didn’t see it for that.
Maybe someone else was meant for Tracy, but we were too excited to
get her away from Nick,” Jodi said, still looking at the ground,
her brow a relief map of wrinkles.

“It did seem to happen awfully quickly,” I
said almost too quietly for them to hear. Jensen’s face swam in
front of my mind’s eye. I searched his endlessly blue eyes, knowing
secrets were kept in there, wondering what they were. His perfect
smile curled unmarred lips, letting the arrogant mask break away
just for me. Could he be this monster? I saw the hooded and cloaked
figure in the scrying bowl. The two images didn’t match. Maybe I
just didn’t want them to match.

“Hell, if the guy for Tracy showed up today
we’d be impressed with how quickly the spell worked,” Steven
said.

“True,” Jodi agreed.

“And we thought the jerks in the forest were
conceited,” I said.

“What?” Steven spun around and stared at
me.

“We just assumed Ian was magically here for
Tracy because it was so perfect. We were so pleased with ourselves
we didn’t even consider that maybe it was just a coincidence.” I
rubbed my eyes and temples with my fingers, suddenly aware of a
pounding headache. “Maybe we’re the arrogant ones. God knows Deb
would skin us alive if she knew we ran off to the forest last
night.” Steven and Jodi shared a look that I wasn’t all together
sure I was supposed to see. “Ok, look… I’ll make you a deal. I
won’t dismiss your idea about Jensen if you won’t dismiss the
possibility that it isn’t him. Ok?”

“Fair enough,” Jodi agreed with a nod. Was it
fair though? Something might finally be working out for me and now
it was possible the guy I had to admit I was starting to like might
be a psychotic devil worshiper. Life really was a bitch
sometimes.

By the time I got home, my eyes were
bloodshot and burning against the weakest of light. My mom wasn’t
home when I got there and my dad was still working so the house was
quiet and cool inside. I grabbed a bottle of water out of the
fridge and stumbled back to my bedroom. This was becoming a routine
that I didn’t much like. My room was dark with the curtains pulled
closed and I didn’t feel like bothering with the overhead light. I
doubted I could handle the sudden flood of light anyway. I groped
blindly in the dark for my T.V. remote and clicked on the set,
letting the dim blue light illuminate the room just enough.

I stepped out of my boots and jeans as
quickly as my heavy limbs would let me and crawled into bed, still
wearing my sweatshirt. I curled up on my side facing my bedside
table where my journal was sitting. I had to fight the urge to
reach out for it and study the symbols inside. I knew in my
exhausted state I wouldn’t get very far with them and I hated
falling asleep holding a book; I always ended up breaking the spine
or smearing ink on my face somehow. I was asleep before I finished
arguing with myself.

I was standing on a bluff, nearly at the
edge, overlooking an angry gray ocean. The waves were crashing
against the cliff face with such force that I could feel the small
quakes in the earth beneath my feet. Cold, salty spray hit my face
and caught my hair in tangles with each thundering wave. Wind
whipped around me, tearing the hem of the dress I was wearing.

I looked up, away from the ocean, out to the
horizon. It was twilight, the weak light fading with each passing
moment. I knew I was dreaming because I knew I had been too tired
just moments ago to focus enough to meditate. But this was the same
place I came to seek advice from my guardian angel.

Just as I thought of him, I could feel his
presence behind me. I turned to face my guardian angel. He stood
almost majestically, hands clasped in front of him, a benign smile
lighting his face more beautifully than any halo ever could. He was
just a few feet away from me but I could still feel the warmth of
his body radiating over the chill of the evening air. He reached
out a hand for me, silent as ever. I stared at the hand, hesitating
to reach for it, although I have never hesitated before. I knew
there was something he had to tell me or show me that I didn’t want
to know. I felt myself stepping back, without conscious intention
of doing so; he mimicked my actions, but stepping forward rather
than back. He was no longer smiling, but he still held out his
hand.

I realized I was holding my breath, staring
at his extended hand and concentrating on his fingers. He took
another slow step in my direction. I was aware of slowly shaking my
head and taking another step back, knowing the cliff’s edge was
uncomfortably near. I saw a look of worry cross his face. He opened
his mouth as if he was going to speak, although I had never heard
him utter so much as a sound in the past.

As soon as our bodies met, I would know what
it was he wanted to tell me. What it was I didn’t want to know. I
was a very superstitious person and fully believed if you died in
your dreams you died in real life, but this was my place, I didn’t
believe I could die here. I felt for the edge of the cliff with the
toes of my right foot, feeling the earth crumble beneath my toes,
falling away to the crushing waves below.

His eyes flickered for the briefest of
seconds to the ground; it was all the warning I was going to get. I
spun suddenly and jumped just as he lunged towards me, both hands
extended. When you fall everything moves too fast. I could have
been falling for seconds or days before a hand caught my arm.

Viselike fingers were clamped around my wrist
painfully. I could feel my shoulder straining against the socket;
surely it would tear any second and leave me to fall. My knees
stung and were bloody with scrapes as I bounced against the cliff
face. The wind whipped around, my hair swirling around my face,
blinding me. I tore at my face with my free hand trying to pull my
hair away so I could look him in the face, angry that he had
stopped me, but not all together surprised.

Finally, I cleared my face of the tangled,
wet hair and looked up, staring into the stormy blue eyes of
Jensen. His face strained with the effort to hold onto me, his grip
slipping with the wetness of the air. I felt the blood vessels
burst in my wrist under the pressure of his fingers. He was lying
on his stomach; so far over the edge of the cliff I couldn’t
understand why we hadn’t fallen yet. He reached towards me with his
free hand, placing it in mine like a handshake. I was holding my
breath again, I wanted him to pull me to safety, but I knew it
wasn’t going to happen, just like you know you’re not going to
outrun the monster that’s chasing you.